Jack sat in the small room of the infirmary and wondered when it had all gone wrong. He could remember the firing, remembered the blast, remembered it hell he felt it. Still could, he'd be tender for a few days but nothing too critical. He sat and shook his head for a moment. They'd lost Janet; he couldn't get his head around it. Janet Frasier how the hell had that happen? How had he been spared and not Frasier? God damned crossfire. Jack had lost people in the field, hundreds of men and women he'd known fine officers. However, this one hit home a little too much for comfort. His thoughts had gone from Cassie, to Carter to the whole base in one fleeting second. An ominous atmosphere had settled over the base. The death of Janet Frasier had affected everyone, and they'd lost many good people out there in this battle, but Janet, her death seemed too much to bear.

Jack stood; he'd been dismissed with the order of taking some downtime and definitely off field duty until the wound was fully healed. As he reached for his clothing, the door opened admitting Carter. He felt guilty for the relief he'd felt knowing she as well and Daniel and Tealc had gotten out alive. He acknowledged her presence as he pulled on his t-shirt.

"Sir heard you were up and around" she seemed a little uncomfortable but closed the door behind her as if shutting out the base for a moment escaping the impending depression of every man and woman on base.

"Yeah ... err...still a little tender but they said I could go home"

"We're lucky that staff blast hit you where it did. That new vest inserts works well" she didn't sound too impressed.

"Didn't help Frasier much"

Jack regretted saying it, but it had needed to be said. Again the thought of why Janet and not him or any other person who had left the field alive crossed his mind. He watched as Sam took a breath dropping her eyes for a moment.

"No"

"How's Cassie?"

"She's a strong kid, she survives ... you know."

"Yeah" replied Jack, pulling on his shirt. Cassie had lost two mothers, both in extreme circumstances. Jack wondered how in the hell she could cope with that and made a mental note to get in touch himself as soon as he could. A moment silence entered between them before he continued.

"You speaking at the memorial?" He knew she was but he felt the silence could become too much, something was hanging between them and he wasn't sure he wanted to go there.

"Sir ... I ... I just wanted to say" he watched the way she licked her lips, watched the cogs whirring in her mind, wondering whether she should continue. Carter had decided she would go there, trust her to take the higher ground and make them deal with it.

"When you were lying there I..." he could see the glint of tears, he was fighting back his own. Still he couldn't move, although the want to hold her was overtaking again.

"I'm really glad you're okay."

Jack allowed the compulsion to move closer overtake him. She wasn't the only one feeling relief; he wanted to comfort her. He knew what she was admitting, within those four walls she knew she could and he wouldn't judge her. Jack could read the guilt lining her voice, that although the death of Janet caused great pain she was happy he was alive. Sam glanced up at him as he came closer and all he could do in that tiny room was pull her close, letting her know maybe not so much in words but in action that he felt exactly the same way. He held her close and tight. For a moment, Jack knew what if would be like to help push her pain away. For a second time, he knew it was a feeling that couldn't last.