Eternal Bliss
Aogiri Suzumi
( ii )
Oh, Kazuma,
How I miss you!
That once always smiling, happy smile of yours. Always on your face as if knowing something I didn't know, teasing me playfully but also mercilessly in the best of ways.
How long has it been?
A year and always counting…
But why?
Why I ask you!
Of all the people who were and still are worthy of dying…
It was you, who in the end ultimately had to go.
Oh love,
We had so much to go for us.
From our always blossoming love to…
Just why!
To our…our…
Our lovely bo-
bo…
Must I lose everything, before I finally realize!
But, tell me,
tell me what is it that I had and still have to realize?
Why did I have to go through that dreary raining day, when it finally hit me. It finally hit me and mauled me over ruthlessly, the fact.
The fact…
that-
you
were
gone…
They carried you out solemnly, and oh how I wanted to scream and yell out to them.
"Let my husband go! He's alive! You've mistaken him for someone else, he's alive…I swear!"
But…I was wrong, and I've learned that the hard way.
The deafening crunch of metal…and bones.
Still though, it doesn't hurt to pray and hope,
Everyday
For both you and our unborn child,
How I would've loved to hold the baby close.
Bobo's warm murmurings against my milk-laden breasts.
Soft, small hands and feet to touch and tickle.
Pure, innocent, and the first few smiles brought on from baby…
I must stop.
A small dead form instilled in a warm, soft belly.
It still hurts me.
Having to lose both of you,
One after the other,
A ruthless game of death:
Followed by another.
You haven't only hurt me though,
Your brother Yuuhi too.
He's the reason why I'm still here to think these thoughts, and muse of the both of you and still be able to smile through all of my knowing.
The knife…
The sharp, glistening edges of the knife, a sliver of metal and silver against my own pale hands, clenched desperately at it's handle.
The bright, red blood…
"No stop!" Someone's hoarse yell.
Jerking and writhing in my own clutch, brought on and wrestling viciously against me and the knife, other hands bringing themselves to take the knife away from my own.
"Let go!" My own, desperate cry.
A frantic wrench of the knife from my hands.
A careless swipe of the sharp edge of the knife.
A stifled moan of pain from someone beside me.
Brushes of blood, flowing freely from the wrist of a clasped fist.
Connected to an arm.
An arm connected to a shoulder.
A shoulder connected to a neck.
A neck connected to a head.
The head of Yuuhi,
A stern Yuuhi,
Eyebrows furrowed,
Eyes glowering at my own forlorn form.
Bright, red blood dripping onto the floor.
It was his words, his furious but also desperate-filled words, that changed me, changed my look on death and what I would do.
"You can't do this!"
"He wouldn't want you to do this!"
"He'd want you to live!"
"He was my brother too, I loved him and I miss him also!"
Truly, age doesn't determine a wise-man,
I being nine years his senior…
And still, even he knew things I didn't!
I thank him, and from the beginning I have promised you that I would and will love him as my own brother. I don't only do it because of the promise, but because I love him, and I want to be his sister, blood or not!
Eternal Bliss,
but a woman can still love her dead husband and unborn child…
( ii )
end note:I've only read up to volume nine for the manga series of Ceres, but-I've finally been able to watch -all- of Ayashi No Ceres, Chinese version-english subtitles of course :All Hail subtitles: It was so sad, and it was fun seeing the scenes and parts from the manga that I've read, one specific part they didn't include, but besides that very good. I must be honest though, I cried -A lot- when it came to watching all of this, nine hours straight-I had a snow day for my High school that's why! ; I won't give away any spoilers to those who haven't seen it yet, or don't know what I'm talking about-but the new few chapters I'll be writing up, they may be a spoiler in themselves, so I'll warn you in the chapter, beforehand-just in case :Y'never know: It inspired me what can I say! And with these reviews too, I thought 'hmm', and would be nice of ya to R&R of course, all criticism constructive or not is welcome, but any flames or anything bad to be said, please don't-I'd rather not, just don't review at all if that's the case.
Til' next chapter (-.-)/