Friendship, Growth, & Feelings

Disclaimer: I don't own anything pertaining to the GMW franchise; it just gives me a lot of feelings.

Summary: The one where Zay knows stuff, and Riley learns some truths. Farkle is a bit confused, but still supports his friends. Lucas eventually makes his own choice, and fights for what he wants. Maya digs her heels in as much as possible. Or, where they have to clean up the mess that happened at the Ski Lodge and the domino effect that happened after. /Lucaya ending/

Chapter 3

Several days later, she and Farkle took up residence in the bay window and waited for Riley.

"Are you sure we have to-"

"Maya."

She sighed, shoulders drooping. "Fine."

Riley came upstairs after dinner to find her two oldest friends in her bay window. She smiled cautiously, tilting her head. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Polar bears!" Maya exclaimed, looking crazed for a minute.

Farkle gave her the same look in return. "Really?"

"A polar bear breaks the ice!" she insisted with her Southern Belle voice.

"Take it easy there, Sally", Farkle rolled his eyes in amusement.

"Guys?" Riley tried again, unable to stop herself from smiling at their banter.

"We need to talk to you", Maya said, patting the cushion between them for Riley to sit down.

"That's all the help you're giving me, isn't it?" Farkle said to Maya.

She grinned and nodded. "Absolutely!"

"We have to stop protecting you from life", Farkle said, having earlier decided that it would be best to be blunt; they'd cushioned Riley's feelings enough. They'd never wanted to hurt her, but they had also been less than truthful over the years, and it really was time to stop. "We're your friends. Our job is to walk through life with you, not make sure you don't see anything."

"Are you sure we can't just blindfold her?" Maya threw her hands up.

"Maybe put her on leash like a puppy?" he grinned at her.

"Hey!" Riley protested.

"Yeah", Maya said hopefully.

"No!"

"I'm right here!" Riley said exasperatedly.

Farkle laughed. "Riley, when we were kids-"

"You were very, extremely gullible", Maya interrupted, trying to sound upbeat.

"Maya had already experienced pain and loss, and she was barely six. I was a weird kid with no friends. And you-"

"You were sunshine", Maya added quietly.

"Maya never wanted one bad thing to happen to you because she didn't want you to change. And we went overboard."

"I think", Maya started unsteadily, "that instead of us just holding your hand and walking through life with you… we kind of protected you from a lot of life in general." She looked at Farkle who took her hand and squeezed it reassuringly, and she plowed on. "We were wrong."

"And now? You've got to do what you wouldn't do while apple bobbing", Farkle grinned.

Maya let out a watery laugh. "You have to wift your head, Wiley", she said mimicking her little girl voice. She reached for Riley's hand with her free one. She gave a confident nod. "It's time."

00

The next few weeks were fairly quiet considering all the drama just under the surface.

It was three weeks later when Riley and Lucas both happened to be looking for each other after school and when they ran into each other, they both said some version of 'can we go somewhere and talk?'.

Lucas suggested that they go for a walk in the park.

"Do you want to talk first?" Lucas offered.

Riley frowned, thinking back to the extremely long conversation that she'd had with Farkle and Maya, one that hadn't ended until they were all a bit watery around the eyes, and how Maya had reluctantly pointed out that Riley had basically steamrolled – Maya hadn't used that word – the triangle. And that Riley hadn't been very open to hearing anything she didn't like. Maya had said she understood that Riley had done it to protect her own feelings, but that Lucas's feelings probably should have factored into how the situation had ended.

"Great, now I'm the bulldozer in the pink sweater!" Riley had cried dramatically. She hadn't been very accepting of the criticism at the time, but the more she thought about it, the more her eyes had opened to what had really happened. She couldn't lie; there were still things she didn't understand… things Maya refused to talk about, and even Farkle said that Maya needed time. So she tried. She wanted to fix the mess that was between all of them. And she couldn't do that without listening. Her first cleanup was with Lucas. She owed both of them honesty, because she did love Lucas, truly, no matter what definition that took. And maybe she was still a lot confused about the ins and outs of falling in love, but she was certain that she always wanted him to be a part of her life.

Riley shook her head and smiled. "You first."

"You sure?"

Riley sighed. "It was recently brought to my attention that I haven't been listening very well lately. I'd really like to hear what you have to say."

"Okay." Lucas frowned, seeming not sure where to start. "You remember when Zay first got here?" he started. "And you were mad at me because you thought you didn't know who I really was?"

Riley nodded. "I remember an epic water fight and being turned into a human fountain", she raised an accusing eyebrow at him. But then she grinned. "And then I dumped a bucket of soapy water on your head."

"I remember. I was there." Lucas snorted in amusement. "Before that… at lunch? You wanted me to tell you that you weren't wrong about me. And Maya actually called me by my name and told me that I needed to do what you wanted… because it was important to you and that made it equally important to her?"

Riley nodded slowly, a frown crossing her face. "Why are we talking about this now?" she asked softly.

"People change people, Riley. Right? How long have you spent trying to get Maya in a place where she feels safe enough to want things?"

"A long time…"

"Then why, after all the ways you fought for her happiness, did you think she was only happy because she pretended to be you?"

"I-"

"Maya would do anything for you, Riley. Even if it meant giving up her happiness and reverting back to the role of your troubled friend that you need to 'save'… just so you could be happy."

Riley stared absently in front of her. "Do you think I broke Maya?" she asked finally.

"Maya was never broken."

"You really think I was wrong?" she asked softly.

He bit his lip and nodded. "I do. Do you remember being Dark Riley-?"

"Morotia", she cut him off abruptly.

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that. Let's not do that ever again. Yeah? Okay."

"She would have been an awful bunny farmer", Riley shook her head in disappointment.

"Maya has experienced true pain that's affected her entire life. I think she's done her best to keep even an ounce of pain from touching you. And she's done such a good job at it, she thinks it for the best… even if it ends up hurting her."

"I broke Maya-"

"What's her biggest fear, Riley?"

"Ballerinas!"

"Try again?" he suggested gently, raising his eyebrows.

"Losing people", she said quietly.

He reached over and held her hand. "Could you ever hate her?"

"No. Not ever."

"I know."

"Lucas? How do you feel about Maya?" she whispered.

He let out a laugh and ran a hand through his hair. "Turning this around on me? That's fair."

Riley rolled her eyes. "I know you care about her. To be clear, we can't be friends if you don't like Maya." She gestured between them, nodding seriously.

He grinned briefly. "I know. You two are a package deal. Although, I didn't really ask you to talk about Maya."

"So?" she prompted.

"It's complicated", he offered with a shrug.

"It's all getting complicated now, isn't it? Just... try?"

"I know I don't want to lose her as a friend", he answered finally. "I like when she's happy."

"She makes you laugh", Riley offered. It was strange to notice the absence of pain she felt now at hearing Lucas's thoughts about Maya.

"Yeah, she does."

"You think she's pretty", Riley sing-songed teasingly.

"Well-"

She laughed. "You seriously texted Zay calling her 'Blonde Beauty'?"

"How about we pretend that didn't happen", Lucas nodded emphatically.

Riley snorted. "I don't think so, buddy."

"And I'm back to 'buddy'", he sighed dramatically.

She nudged him with her shoulder and directed them to sit on a bench.

Lucas let his head fall back and glared at the sky. "I never wanted to come between the two of you."

Riley shook her head immediately. "Lucas, no. This wasn't anybody's fault."

"Not sure if I believe that", he muttered.

"You believe there's no such thing as coincidence, right? That we eventually get guided to where we need to be if we watch for the signs?"

"Basically", Lucas shrugged.

"I believe you were meant to be here, in New York, with all of us. No matter what happens, no matter how we change and grow… we do it together."

"I hope so. I always want all of you to be a part of my life."

"So…" Riley started, suddenly wanting answers for all the things that didn't make sense to her. "Just out of curiosity - ifor sciencei/ - how long did it take exactly, from the time I when I left the two of you alone by the fire until you grabbed her by the face and then ididn't kiss her?!"i/

"We were arguing!" he protested.

"Have you ever considered even once to almost kiss me when we're fighting?" she demanded.

"No!"

"Uh-huh. How long?" she demanded.

Lucas groaned. "Less than ten minutes."

Riley stared at him incredulously and then burst out laughing. This was ridiculous. "Lucas!"

"Riley! I'm serious!"

"Oh, I know you are", she promised, stifling giggles. "That's why I'm laughing. Lucas? The person you are with me isn't the same person you are with Maya, and both of those parts of you are true. I love you, and I think we'll make sure we're a part of each other's lives forever. But… if the secret to life is that people change people… do you think we'll change each other?"

He frowned. "I don't know how to answer that. I know I'm not the same person I was before I moved here."

"Why were you fighting with Maya?" she asked abruptly.

Lucas shrugged. "Because I wanted to know if you were telling the truth… and it felt like she was lying to me."

"And it mattered to you?" Riley prodded. "It mattered whether or not she had feelings for you?"

"I- yes?" he frowned, not understanding what she was asking.

"Why?"

He gave her a sideways glance. "What do you mean why?"

"I mean… if you didn't already have some kind of feelings for her, why did you care so much whether she was lying about it or not. You could have left it alone", she shrugged. "Or you could have let Maya sidestep her way out of the conversation, which she is very good at."

"I don't know. I couldn't let it go."

"Lucas, was this", she gestured between them, "was it what you expected?" Riley asked curiously.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. I just have been thinking about the last year, and all the times I've worried I wouldn't live up to my parents' legacy… and it seems like every time I try to make myself more like them, the universe slaps me in the face and tells me I have to be my own person. I've just been wondering if I expected you to be something you're not because it's what I needed. And that wasn't very fair of me."

He sighed. "Riley… I've liked you since the day we met."

"I've liked you since the day we met too. You don't know this, but I was trying to be Maya that day", she admitted with a laugh. "It was my first time riding the subway. I told her I wanted to be bad like her, and so I put on her lip gloss. I thought I was really bad."

Lucas grinned. "Yeah?"

"Maya's life always seemed like such an adventure. She's known practically everyone on our subway route for years. I've always wanted to be confident like Maya. She never lets anyone see how much she cares. I thought for a long time that she didn't. She just… she took care of me and Farkle. And we didn't even realize. She saw you, and we were talking about talking to boys, and she told me it wasn't that hard. She said she was going to teach me all about relationships, and she skipped across the car- what did she even say to you that day?" Riley frowned.

Lucas raised his eyebrows. "You never asked her?"

Her head tilted. "No? That's weird, isn't it? I got a bit distracted when she let me fly into your lap", she admitted with a shrug.

"We had a thirty second speed date, and at the end she dumped me", he admitted with a laugh.

"Wait, what?" Riley shook her head incredulously. "When she came back, she told me that you guys just broke up. I kind of thought she was kidding."

He squinted, dredging up the old memory… his first time being completely blindsided by Maya's force of nature personality. Lucas grinned and took a deep breath. "'Hi, I'm Maya. You're really cute. We should hang out some time. You make me happy. You don't pay enough attention to me.This isn't working out. It's you, not me. We can still be friends. Not really.'"

"Oh, you got Maya'd", Riley said with wide eyes.

"Then she left and you were in my lap. It was the most interesting thirty seconds I'd had since I got to New York."

"And now?" Riley asked. "We've all been through a lot since then. How's it rate now?"

"It still makes the top ten", he grinned.

Riley sucked in air. The realization of the situation they were in, and the turmoil her best friend was probably still hiding from her, washed over Riley like cold water. "Go talk to her."

"Riley-"

"No, Lucas. I don't know what our relationship is going to look like in the future, but I know we're going to have one. You mean too much to me to ever not be a part of my life, but no one else has ever fought me to protect Maya", she said quietly.

And this wasn't even the first time it had happened. Lucas hadn't been happy the day Maya ran out of Topanga's only to be brought back by the cops.

Riley was fairly certain that Maya still hadn't heard that Lucas had yelled at Riley for accusing Maya of stealing money while Katy was working.

"This isn't a joke, Riley! Tell me you don't seriously believe Maya would steal! Picking up a five dollar bill off the ground - that she willingly put back, by the way - is not the same as stealing from where her mom works. Maya isn't a thief, Riley. She's your best friend. You should know who she is."

Lucas left. It took a minute for Riley and Farkle to go after him and the three to agree they needed to find Maya.

Much later, way too late to prevent the metaphorical avalanche that almost took them all out, Riley would think of this moment and realize that she had been the one to push Maya off the mountain.

"Except when Uncle Shawn called me 'baby Cory'… something I'm still mildly insulted about…" Riley continued, shaking her head and tried to focus. "I've been watching my best friend disappear. She won't say what she wants, she won't argue with me, and she refuses to stand up for herself. I don't know if she'll let me help her now… or even if I can. We've been who we are for so long… I think we both know I don't do well with change."

"Change is hard", he said. "But it can be good too. Like me moving here… or Zay moving here-"

"Or Maya being happy", Riley whispered. "I tried to take that from her… and she let me. She's my best friend. And her being happy is all I've wanted for her our whole lives. Why did I do that? She tried to tell me how she felt and I wouldn't believe her."

"I think we're all a little confused right now", Lucas muttered, running a hand through his hair. "And I think sometimes… you both go too far to protect each other's feelings."

"You mean Maya-"

"Oh no. You do it too", Lucas nodded rapidly, then winced. "No offense."

Riley stared incredulously. "Kinda offense!" she insisted. Then she rolled her eyes. "I want Maya to be happy, and I know you do too. If your feelings for her are what they sound like they might be? Lucas, you have to tell her. Because I think we both know you don't feel the same way about me."

"Riley-" he protested.

"Lucas, I love you. And I know you love me… maybe it doesn't matter what we call it", she said softly. "But I don't think the feelings you have for me are anywhere close to what you feel for Maya. And… maybe I don't have those feelings for you either." She frowned. "And I think we both deserve fire, don't you?"

Lucas groaned. "That stupid yearbook."

"And this?" she gestured between them, "It doesn't hurt like it used to… knowing how much you like Maya. It feels… right. Somehow." Riley smiled a bit sadly. "I wish I'd seen it then… but I do now. I get it. Now, Maya needs to see it too."

He frowned, "I don't think I'm the one she needs to talk to right now. And you should probably do it before she elopes with your uncle." Lucas couldn't help but grimace.

Riley's eyes widened comically, nose scrunching in disgust. "Yeah, that gets weirder the longer I think about it." She stood up and held out her hand. "We're both right. Maya needs both of us. No more secrets", she said firmly. "Come on."