Chapter 3

Who knew Draco Malfoy was so cute. Ah, the blond hair, the cold grey eyes! It will be a challenge to figure him out, put some warmth into those eyes of his. I think there are some deep secrets that he can reveal to me, while I reveal to him deep dark secrets of my own.

Draco was pushed off the Astronomy tower. Being the only person there I summoned my Charmed powers and froze time. Then I flew up and saved him. Yeah, I can fly. Peter Pan style. And no pixie dust or happy thoughts either!

Draco was eternally grateful. We kissed. He confessed his mad Slytherin-mate had pushed him off because he'd made out with the Slythern's girlfriend, but he promised me that from now on his only one eternal love would be me. Oh, I can see his enemy-ship with Harry will become more intense.

I showed everyone my new powers today. They were all in awe, every single one of them. Except Hermione. She's never in awe of anything. She just nodded to herself and wrote something down in a notebook. I think she's doing an expose on how I am a Mary Sue. I must stop her before she ruins my image.

Everyone knows I am Voldemort's daughter now. Rita Skeeter did a piece on it in the Daily Prophet and I don't know how she got the information. Damn whoever did that. Draco still loves me more than ever, of course. Harry doesn't care because he knows I am the epitome of goodness. Everyone is shunning me. Ron is nowhere to be found in the school. He has already found Voldemort, I saw it in a vision.

Oh, no! There's a Giant attack on the school! I have to do something! This is Voldemort's idea, I know it is. He was plotting with Ron Weasley yesterday, I saw it in a dream. Ron's his right-hand man now. Lucius Malfoy is incredibly jealous and is now, I think, plotting to get rid of the boy.

They're destroying everything. They even squished Hagrid's hut flat. I hope Fang wasn't in it. Oh well. If anyone dies I will use my blood to make them alive again. And if they're seriously hurt I will use my blood to Heal them.

Draco is delirious with delight about this attack, but he won't be so delirious when one of the giants almost kills him. There, see. My prophetic powers are incredibly precise. I'll save him. I dive under using my Dash-like speed and using my Mr. Incredible-like strength keep the giant from squishing Draco. He gets out and stares at me with newfound wonder in his grey eyes. There is love in there too, I can see it.

Everyone is panicking. Even the teachers are screaming their heads off. No one's doing anything whatsoever, so I save everyone. I even give witty comebacks to whatever the dumb giants are saying in their dumb little giant language. Hermione is scribbling away in her expose notebook. I must steal that one day. And destroy it. I must remember. But now I have better things to do. Like save Hogwarts.

There is a lull in the attack. Harry whispers to me that he loves me. Draco whispers to me that he loves me. And in a sudden mood he tells me that he has been abused by his father, and wants to lead a normal life and become a spy for the Order. I lead him to Dumbledore, who mysteriously disappeared at the time of the giant attack but mysteriously reappeared during the lull in attack. Ah, unexplained actions. They're everywhere when I'm around.

Ah, Ron has appeared. He has transformed gruesomely into a monster. Harry and Hermione and all the Weasleys who mysteriously appear at Hogwarts fall to their knees and scream very dramatically, "Why?"

Ron in turn points at me and screams very theatrically, "Her!"

Everyone looks at me. I play damsel in distress, as I am wont to do. I cry. "What did I do?" I cry.

Draco rushes to me and holds me dear and near. Harry rushes to me and holds me near and dear. Both glare at each other. I implore them not to fight, and point out Ron as the result of this fight. Both look at him and are filled with a great sadness. I can tell because I am a great feelings-reader. It's in my genes. My grandmuzzer had a knack for these things.

It is such a tragedy for Ron. He is going to try and kill us all. And we all know why he became evil in the first place.

Oh, the burdens of being a Mary Sue …

Hermione is being her usual self and jotting everything down in her expose notebook.