Title: Moonshadow (will be explained later, I promise)
Author: Arathi
Rating: PG-13 for later chapters
Archive: Does this count? I'm kinda confused on what this is. This is my first fic after all.
Category: Supernatural/Action/Adventure
Summary: Some very strange things have been happening to Sam. It's getting hard enough to hide them from her friends, so how can she hide them from her father? And just what is Jacob hiding from her? Better summary later, I don't want to give anything away.
Disclaimers: The usual. See the prologue if it really matters.
Spoilers: Various small spoilers may or may not be scattered around in this fic.
Warnings: There will be some violence in later chapters (hence the rating).
Status: Work in progress. I am a college student so it may be a while between updates.
Authors notes: Okay, so the problem was this; technically symbiotes have no gender, but are Tok'Ra symbiotes always considered to be the same gender as the host, or does personality mark them as one gender or the other regardless of the host's gender? Or to put it simply, is Selmak a 'he' or a 'she?'
Between what was said by reviewers (all of whom I would like to thank), a survey of friends, and a sort of survey of other fics involving Jacob/Selmak, I've gotten a pretty even vote for whether Selmak is a 'he' or a 'she.' Because of the role Selmak will be playing in this fic, I've decided to portray Selmak as a she.
Also, classes have started again at the college I go to, so my time to write will be limited. I will try to update as often as I can, but I give no guarantees on how often that'll be.
Thanks again to Matt and Julie for feedback while editing.
In other notes; -- denotes a change in point of view, italics denote thoughts, 'and italics in quotes denote conversation between Jacob and Selmak.'
On with the story!
Jacob Carter stuffed the last few things he'd need into his bag before leaving for Earth. There were two reasons why he was headed home. The first was because the SGC had contacted the Tok'Ra saying there was someone there who wanted to meet with one of them. The second was to ask his daughter and her teammates for help on a mission Selmak had requested but he did not want.
Usually Jacob and Selmak got along without a problem. They had their periodic disagreements, which usually ended in agreeing to disagree and leaving it at that. Full-blown arguments were thankfully rare. They left Jacob with terrible headaches, like the one he had now, as well as bad moods for both of them. And these were the least of their problems.
Jacob had always thought he most hated arguing with his children, but that no longer rang true. He most hated arguing with Selmak. At least with his kids he could walk away and come back when he was calmer. With Selmak, he didn't have that luxury.
Slinging the bag over his shoulder, he headed for the ring platform that would take him out of the crystalline tunnels of the Tok'Ra base and onto the surface of their current homeworld. He was careful to avoid the more trafficked tunnels whenever possible. There was no sense in tempting his bad mood to blow up on an innocent bystander.
On that note, as Jacob stood before the DHD, he paused and closed his eyes for a moment, forcing his temper under control before he was tempted to literally punch in the coordinates for Earth. Despite her indirect involvement in his argument with Selmak, Jacob was not going to let his anger take itself out on his daughter. It wouldn't be fair to her.
This whole situation is unfair, to her and me, he thought. Jacob could direct his thought 'away' from Selmak to keep them private if he wanted to, or 'toward' her to make sure she heard. At that moment, he didn't care one way or the other.
'You say that as though this were my fault,' Selmak remarked.
'That's because it is your fault. You requested a mission you knew I didn't want and even told the council I had experience that might be helpful just so I couldn't back out of it.'
'This problem started well before you met me, you simply refuse to deal with it.'
'I dealt with it in the way that I saw fit and you have no right to interfere in my relationship with Sam!'
'You think it is appropriate to lie to her?'
'It's not lying. It's just not giving her information that could put her at risk. There's a difference.'
'As you would say, the key word in that sentence is 'could.' How do you know for certain?'
'You know damn well how I know.'
'That was a long time ago, and she is no longer a child in need of your protection.'
'Shut up!' Jacob could feel Selmak's anger and frustration as she mentally turned her back on her host, not to sulk, which wasn't her personality, but for a measure of privacy.
is knewJacob could feel Selmak's anger and frustration as she mentally turned her back on her host, not to sulk, which wasn't her personality, but for a measure of privacy.Jacob tried with limited success to get himself under control before finally walking through the 'Gate. He was welcomed by George, Jack, Daniel, and Teal'c. He greeted each of them in turn and was just about to ask where Sam was when she walked in.
"Hey Dad," she said as she hugged him. Was it just him or did she seem awfully tense?
"How're you doing kid?" he asked her.
"Okay." Her tone was noncommittal and she didn't look at him as she said it. Jacob's parental instincts told him something was very wrong, but he wouldn't pursue the matter in such a public place as the 'Gate room and settled for giving her a disbelieving look.
"What's with the bag of stuff?" Jack asked suddenly.
"I have more than one reason for being here. I'll explain it later." Seeing Jack's expression he added, "And no I'm not in the mood for one of your sarcastic remarks."
"I wasn't going to make one," the colonel answered, switching to an expression of feigned innocence.
"The day you don't at least try to take advantage of every opportunity to be sarcastic is the day pigs fly."
Sam walked quickly along the corridors of the SGC, heading for her lab.
"Major Carter," called someone behind her. "Colonel O'Neill was looking for you."
"Thanks," she lied. She wanted to be left alone. She certainly didn't want to confront O'Neill of all people. Not after her slip-up returning from their most recent mission.
For a moment she considered changing destinations, but quickly rejected the idea. She could feel an attack of the odd feeling coming and wanted to head it off. She needed privacy to do that and the only places in the SGC where she had a chance of being left alone were her quarters and her lab. The later of the two was closer.
Sam didn't bother closing the door or turning on the lights when she reached the lab. Sitting down at her desk, she hoped the semi-darkness would grant her the privacy she needed at that moment. Closing her eyes, she focused on controlling the odd feeling. It wasn't working.
She knew when she could make out the conversations of people passing her lab more clearly than normal that her hearing had sharpened again. One conversation between two very familiar voices caught her attention.
"What, you don't think what happened back on that planet was a little strange?" O'Neill's voice asked.
"Well, yea, but does it really matter?" came Daniel's reply. "Sam didn't exactly look like she wanted company after the debriefing."
"If that were my only concern right now, maybe it wouldn't matter so much. Problem is, that's not my only concern."
"Then what else is there?"
The footsteps that had accompanied their conversation up to that point stopped. From the sound of it, they weren't that far from her lab, but they weren't at the door yet either. Sam half wished she'd closed the door.
"When we first got back, while we were still in the 'Gate room, did you notice anything odd about her?" O'Neill asked.
"Odd how?"
"I dunno, just… odd."
It was silent a moment before Daniel responded. "On they way out of the 'Gate room Sam seemed kinda nervous. Is that what you mean?"
"Not really…"
"What then? I don't know what you're asking."
"For a second I thought I saw something… different… about her. I'm not even entirely sure it wasn't my mind playing tricks on me after a long day. That's why I asked, to see if you'd seen it too."
"I'd have to say I didn't see then, 'cause I still don't know what you're talking about."
"Maybe it was just my imagination then"
"What exactly did you see?"
There was silence for a time before O'Neill answered. "For a second I thought there was something weird about her eyes. Just for a second. Then when I looked again it was gone. And no I don't mean weird like glowing. Just… weird."
Another silence fell, broken this time by footsteps continuing towards the lab. Sam slid out of her chair onto the floor. Sitting with her back against her desk she was out of sight from the door. She only half listened as the two men glanced in and commented it was odd for her to leave the door open when she wasn't there. They closed the door behind them as they left to continue looking for her, cutting her off from eavesdropping on any further conversation.
O'Neill had told Daniel about her slip up in the 'Gate room, when she'd accidentally let him see how her eyes changed when her nightvision improved. If he told Daniel he'd almost certainly tell Teal'c and possibly someone else. Sam fought off a wave of panic as these thoughts raced through her head.
Once calm, she realized that in listening to her two friends' discussion, she'd ignored the odd feeling. She also realized that it had taken full advantage of her lapse in concentration.
It wasn't just her hearing that had improved. She once again found herself able to see in near darkness, with the only light coming from the instruments around her, even if the fine details were missing. Also, the room seemed filled with dozens of rich impressions it took Sam a moment to realize were smells. Each one separate yet tied to the rest in such a way that it formed a kind of vague picture of the room in her mind.
Yes, her sense of smell had improved before. But it had never been nearly to the degree it was at that moment. She suddenly thought of one of her high school teachers talking about how some animals saw the world as much with their noses as their eyes and ears.
Sam closed her eyes and curled her hands into fists, trying to force the strange feeling back. It still wasn't working.
Her thoughts turned to the gradual unexplained worsening of the odd feeling since the first time she'd felt it. She'd barely noticed it the first time, not long before she'd had the 'vision' or dream that had led her to the Tok'Ra. Each time she'd felt it since, it was a little harder to ignore and a little harder to push back. Each time its effects were a little more noticeable. Now it was all but completely out of control.
Sam had never had three of her senses improve at once before. She could feel instincts she couldn't quite define pushing at the back of her mind. The whole situation was a rather big jump from the last attack she'd had, and it was frightening.
Sam suddenly became aware of two things. One was the pain of her nails digging into the palms of her hands. The other was the smell of blood. Her blood.
Forcing herself to unclench her fists and open her eyes, Sam looked down at her hands. As it was too dark to see fine detail, Sam turned on a desk lamp. Once she did she could see where her nails had begun to cut into her palms. Looking more closely, she noticed the cuts were the wrong shape. Her eyes darted to her nails, but they weren't normal fingernails anymore.
They were claws.
Sam fought back the wave of fear and panic the best she could. She'd never had to deal with claws before. But then, no attack had ever been this bad before, or even very close.
The situation was abruptly made worse as alarms went off throughout the SGC and an "unscheduled off-world activation" was announced. Sam's father had almost certainly been the one to open the 'Gate.
His timing couldn't be worse. He had to arrive when Sam was least prepared to deal with him, or anyone else for that matter. For some reason, though, the thought of seeing her father comforted her, and helped her to finally start getting some control. Shortly after the alarms had stopped sounding, she was ready to go and greet him.
On her way to the 'Gate room, the reality of the situation began to sink in. She was getting out of control; she couldn't keep her secret much longer. She just hoped that her loss of control wouldn't put other people at risk.
Sam found herself once again fighting back fear as she paused outside the 'Gate room to collect herself. Being afraid of someone who was shooting at you was one thing, that fear was familiar and could be dealt with. But she was beginning to realize that it was something else entirely to be afraid of yourself.
Jacob half listened as Jack filled him in on what they knew about their guest. His name was Keathu. He wasn't Goa'uld but he was uncooperative, not answering some questions or allowing a thorough medical exam. He had come to Earth uninvited and pretty well armed, carrying a zat, two scimitars, and an Ashrak-style knife in addition to a utilitarian knife. Daniel mentioned that he didn't speak with the same accent as the others from the planet he'd come from, nor did he look or dress much like the locals of that world. Jack still got the last word explaining how he was determined to speak to a Tok'Ra, even saying he'd come specifically because he knew about SG-1 and that the Tau'ri were allies of the Tok'Ra.
The part of Jacob's mind not engaged in registering this information was worrying about Sam. She walked slightly ahead of him as they went to talk to Keathu, giving him an opportunity to study her for any hints to what was wrong. Her teammates knew her well and Jacob didn't doubt that they could tell she was nervous. But they hadn't known her literally from day one and might not be able to read the very subtle clues in her actions that a father's well-trained eye could spot.
She's acting like she's afraid someone will notice something, Jacob thought. I'm not quite sure what, but definitely something. She looks kinda like she's afraid of something happening, too. The two are connected in some way. Her last mission is probably involved somehow, but I don't think that's the main problem.
There are just too many confusing signals, Jacob thought, knowing that by now at least his frustration was seeping through his emotional bond with Selmak. I'm her father, I should know what's wrong better than this. Was there something she hinted at on my last visit that I didn't catch? Or is she just not telling me? But if that's true then why? Whatever this problem is, I get the sense it's been going on for a while, even if it's only now coming to a head.
Jacob thought.Jacob thought, knowing that by now at least his frustration was seeping through his emotional bond with Selmak.Selmak made no particular comment on her host's rambling thoughts, though Jacob knew she could hear them and that she shared his concern for Sam. Selmak did, however, make sure her host was paying attention when they reached the guest room where Keathu was quartered.
As the guard stationed outside opened the door, Jacob forced himself to push his thoughts about Sam to one side and quickly review what he'd been told about the man that he was about to meet.
He followed Jack into the room and allowed him to handle introductions. He didn't bother trying to hide his amusement as the colonel stumbled over how to introduce Selmak. Jack just gave him an annoyed look and shrugged slightly.
Keathu wore fatigues, probably given to him to ensure he carried no hidden weapons. He was about the same height as Jack and gave the sense that he was strong, even though he was built lean. His dark hair was pulled back seemingly just to keep it out of the way, while his dark eyes and angular features gave the impression that he wasn't one to back down from a fight.
Despite this, Jacob soon found him not to be quite what he'd expected for someone who'd come to the SGC well armed and resistant to doing what he was asked. He was wary of Jacob and it was clear he could sense Selmak's presence, but he didn't strike Jacob as the confrontational type, just cautious and ready to defend himself if it became necessary. As Jacob shook his hand, it became apparent why he could sense Selmak. He had once been a host.
When he mentioned it a moment later, Keathu's expression was unreadable. But it was clear from the way he rubbed the back of his neck at the comment that he was self conscious about that fact, and probably also of the scar the Goa'uld had no doubt left there as well. He explained that was the reason he had been so resistant to earlier questioning and had refused a medical exam. He hadn't wanted anyone to know he had once been a host, fearing distrust.
"Not that your resistance helped much as far as trust's concerned," Jack had commented. Jacob resisted the temptation to roll his eyes.
Keathu's reason for wanting to contact the Tok'Ra was revealed soon after. He had been considering becoming a Tok'Ra host, and had a lot of questions regarding that for Jacob and Selmak, mainly concerning the differences between the Tok'Ra and the Goa'uld and how they treated their hosts. Jacob could understand his concern and slight hesitation before he agreed to talk to a Tok'Ra by the name of Taleem who was in need of a new host.
Before the conversation got too far off track though, Jacob had a few questions of his own to ask such as why did he carry an Ashrak's knife. Reluctantly Keathu admitted that the Goa'uld that had once possessed him had been an Ashrak. His tone of voice told the two men interviewing him all they needed to know about his opinion of the Goa'uld.
"I only keep it because I can find no better one and I use it only when given no other choice," Keathu said. "I still remember everything even though I don't want to. Sometimes I wonder if a Tok'Ra would even want me as a host because of those memories."
Jacob's only response was to say he'd have to talk to Taleem about that.
Thinking back over what he'd been told about Keathu before meeting him, Jacob recalled what Daniel had said about him being different from the other people of the world where SG-1 had met him. When asked, Keathu explained he wasn't originally from that world, but had gone to teach the locals some tricks for fighting the Goa'uld, having heard somewhere that they needed them.
The last question Jacob asked before ending the meeting was how Keathu had gotten rid of the Ashrak.
"Selmak could probably tell you what little is known about the events on Crinnan that led to the Goa'uld abandoning it," Keathu began. "The Ashrak I was host of was under Nirrti's command. She ordered him to go to Crinnan and attempt to discover what had happened. He found no new information about what drove the Goa'uld from that planet, but he did find that there is a lizard there with venom that is not toxic to humans, but is deadly to Goa'uld. I stepped on one and it bit me. Perhaps the lizards played a role in the abandonment of Crinnan, but I do not know for certain."
"When were you there?" Jacob asked him.
"About two years ago," Keathu answered.
'So he'll have at least a little information that is more up to date than what we have,' Jacob commented to Selmak. 'It could be useful to have him with us.'
'Yes,' Selmak replied. 'Also, if Taleem chooses to blend with him then he would have a reason to go and his interest in Crinnan would be satisfied.'
Yea I really wish you'd just left the mission to him in the first place, Jacob thought bitterly, not noticing if Selmak heard him or not. From the reaction his comment got, it was clear she had heard, though. 'Don't start that argument again now' he pleaded with Selmak. 'My headache from earlier hasn't died down yet.' Selmak didn't listen.
Jacob commented to Selmak. Selmak replied. Jacob thought bitterly, not noticing if Selmak heard him or not. From the reaction his comment got, it was clear she had heard, though. nowhe pleaded with Selmak. Selmak didn't listen.'Samantha deserves to know,' she said.
'She doesn't need to know,' Jacob retorted. 'It makes no difference in her life anyway, and the only thing knowing is likely to do is make her curious and get her in trouble.'
Selmak answered with the mental equivalent of a frustrated sigh.'For now I see no point in furthering this argument. Our mission on Crinnan will likely give you ample reason to tell her.'
'That's what I'm afraid of.'
For the time being Jacob said nothing to Keathu about the mission to Crinnan he'd gotten stuck with, simply ending the meeting and exchanging good-byes and a promise to contact the Tok'Ra to arrange for Taleem to meet him. When he left he knew he'd have to take care of that first, but as soon as that was done he was definitely going to have a talk with his daughter.
Sam did and yet did not want to talk to her dad. On one hand, she didn't get to see him often and really needed someone to talk to. But on the other hand, what the hell was she supposed to say that wouldn't make it sound like she was going nuts? How was she supposed to explain to him all the weird stuff that happened to her when she couldn't explain it to herself?
Her father had been prodding her about what was wrong for over an hour before he'd been called away. Apparently Taleem wanted to talk to Selmak for a few minutes before blending with Keathu. Sam was grateful for the reprieve but knew that he'd come back even more persistent and probably from a different angle that was harder for her to defend against.
For the moment at least, she was alone in her lab. The memory of what had happened in that room earlier was fresh in her mind, but she didn't let herself dwell on it. She knew from past experience that thinking for too long about the attacks would eventually trigger one.
That's probably what triggered the last one, Sam thought. I let myself think too much about my mistake with letting the colonel see how my eyes change sometimes, let myself get too up tight about it and…another attack.
Sam thought.Not thinking about such things was difficult though. Between her slip-up in the 'Gate room, and the severity of the last attack of the odd feeling, it was nearly impossible. She needed something to do, and she needed to get out of her lab.
A phone call from her father informed her that Selmak was insisting on watching over the blending of Keathu and Taleem. That meant he'd be occupied for a while and, with luck, she wouldn't see him until the briefing that had been somewhat hastily scheduled for that evening.
"The blending will be finished by then," her dad said. "Probably a couple hours before that actually. I wish we could've continued our conversation uninterrupted, but Selmak can be extremely stubborn. One argument with her is enough for a month, much less a day."
"You were arguing with Selmak earlier?" Sam asked.
"Selmak got me assigned to a mission I don't want. I'll explain what it is in the briefing later. That argument was why I was in such a bad mood when I got here earlier. It's a real pain in the ass when you can't get away from the one you're arguing with, and I don't want her any more pissed off than she is already. My headache's bad enough as it is."
Sam couldn't help but laugh. As their conversation finished and she hung up the phone, she realized all she had to do was find something to occupy herself for the time between when the blending finished and the briefing started. Something that would require her undivided attention, so her dad couldn't interrogate her while she was doing it. There was always something that needed to be done around the SGC.
If things go the way I think they will, she thought, then we'll be too busy preparing for a mission for him to bug me much after the briefing. That'll buy me the rest of tonight, and tomorrow we'll be busy with the mission itself. Hopefully by the time that's done I'll have figured things out.
she thought,But it had been several years since the first incidence of the odd feeling, and Sam couldn't help but doubt that a couple more days would make much difference in her understanding of it.
Reviews feed my somewhat underdeveloped ego, encourage me to write, and are highly appreciated! Thanks again to all those who reviewed the prologue! I hope you still like how this is going!
Next chapter; the briefing, and maybe a few small hints about what Jacob doesn't want to tell Sam.