JENNIE

Getting better every day.

I say with lies against my taste.

~ Romeo's Quest

"He told me a few months ago that he wanted to come out. That he didn't care what anyone thought. He said that he loved me and didn't care who knew." Mingyu snickered and tossed back another shot of vodka as we both sat against a wall.

The bottle resting in his other hand was almost halfway empty, and I had every plan to take it away from him any second now. There was a random couple tonguing about three feet away from us, and the music was blaring throughout the house. This was the last place Mingyu and I needed to be.

Avery came around the corner, and when he turned to face Mingyu, I saw the broken pieces that formed both of the lost souls. Avery's bottom lip shook before he turned and walked away. Mingyu turned toward me, his eyes watering over, his legs trembling.

"I told him I wasn't ready for that, to come out. But he wanted to tell his parents anyway. The results were a lot of tears, hugs, and understanding. I fucking hate understanding, hugging, tearful families. Bring on the dysfunctional freaks." He smiled, but I saw behind it and listened to the pain in his next words.

"He got kicked out of Bible study because a few people in the church found out. His parents found a new church. Then I broke up with him. Because it scared me—loving him—and I didn't want to lose my mom. I love him so much that every breath I take reminds me of him. So sometimes I hold my breath. I try to make it stop. I try to make myself not be this way." His sobs grew heavier. His sorrow only deepened. "I want this shit to stop."

"Mingyu…" I cried, feeling completely helpless. Taking the alcohol and shot glass away from him, I handed it to a random person walking by. They took it without question.

Mingyu sat up a bit and turned his head toward me. His fingers ran through my hair and his blue eyes keep crying. He moved in closer to me, pressing his lips against mine, wrapping his arms around me. I didn't pull back. Our lips were covered with our salty tears.

"Make it go away, Jennie. Fix me," he whispered, kissing me again and again.

"I can't fix you, Mingyu." I said. "You're not broken."

Mingyu cried for a while longer, shaking uncontrollably. I cried, too, because crying alone always felt so depressingly sad.

"We're going home," I whispered into my tired friend's ear.

Mingyu chuckled. "What home?! I live in a car!"

I frowned and kissed his forehead. He nodded against me and drunkenly stood up. "You stay here. I'm going to get our coats."

I moved toward Taehyung's bedroom and opened the door to find more people making out. Surprise, surprise. I started digging through all the coats piled up on the bed, and when I turned to leave with our coats, I bumped right into Taehyung. His eyes were bloodshot, his hair was a mess, and I was certain that there were more wet spots on his shirt than dry spots from his spilled beer. But somehow, he still looked friendly as ever.

"Hey! I haven't seen you all night! I thought you skipped out on yet another awesome Taehyung Kim's party." He gave me a sweet smile and nudged me in the arm.

I tried my best to look happy. "Yeah. It's been great! But I gotta get Mingyu home…" What home? "Thanks for having us."

"There's nothing I can do to get you to like me, huh?" Taehyung blurted out. Terrible timing. He must have seen the look of shock in my eyes. "Sorry. I'm drunk and stoned off of my ass, so I'm a bit forward."

"Taehyung, you're a great friend—" I started, but he laughed.

"But…"

My shoulders rose and fell. "But I kind of loaned my heart out to someone. And that someone hasn't really returned it yet."

He sighed heavily and tossed his hands up in the air. "You can't help a guy for trying."

I giggled and kissed him on the cheek. "Goodnight, Taehyung."

"He's not going to give it back, you know. Your heart." His eyes fell to the floor. "Because when a guy gets a heart like yours, he keeps that shit forever."

Forever.

What a terrifying word.

I walked out of the bedroom to see someone I'd wished to never see again. "Yedam," I whispered to myself, seeing Lisa's brother standing with a group of kids, holding out a bag of pills. For every pill he handed out, he took one for himself.

My head grew dizzy. My face was hot.

His head rose in my direction, and our eyes locked. My heart tightened and I turned away, hurrying toward Mingyu. I tossed his arms into his coat in a rush. "Time to go. Now."

I might have been crazy, but I didn't care. Mingyu needed a place to stay. We sat in the car outside Lisa's house. She hadn't come home yet, but I figured she should have been pulling up soon. Her show should've ended a while ago.

Mingyu lay back in the passenger's seat. "So, you and Ms. Manoban are…"

"Were." I sighed.

"And the hickey was from…"

"Her." I sighed again.

"And she broke up with…"

"Me."

This time Mingyu sighed. "What a fucking crazy asshole. Has she seen your boobs?!"

I smirked at his comment.

Lisa's Jeep pulled up to the house and her headlights shone on the car. I hopped out to make sure she saw that it was me. Her car came to a quick stop and she jumped out, rushing to my side.

"Jennie, what…what's wrong? Are you okay?" She saw my puffy eyes and her fingers touched them. I shivered from her touch. She wrapped her arms around me as if we'd never broken up in the first place. "Are you hurt?"

I shook my head. "I…I need your help." Mingyu climbed out of the passenger's seat of the car and I felt Lisa's fear through her hold against me. She swayed in a sudden grip of anger.

"Jennie, what did you do?" Her voice was low, panic-filled.

Mingyu held his hands up in a surrendering stance. "Don't worry, Ms. M. I mean no harm." He then began to chuckle. "Holy shit, you're sleeping with our teacher!"

"Mingyu!" I hissed, giving him a stern look. He just kept laughing. I turned to Lisa. "He's drunk."

"Yeah, you don't say? Jesus Christ! Are you trying to get us caught?"

"Oh whatever, Lisa. I told one person! You didn't have a problem telling Mino! So call it even."

"What are you talking about? How did you know I told Mino?" She narrowed her eyes on me. Those beautiful brown eyes. No. Wait. Don't look into her eyes. I hated her still.

"It doesn't matter. It's not like we're an us anymore anyway." I paused. "Can Mingyu stay here?"

"What?" she asked, confused at my sudden comment.

I had to admit that I almost smiled at her confusion until I remembered why Mingyu needed a place to stay. I filled Lisa in on the situation and watched as her puzzlement slowly transformed to utter disbelief.

"What is he going to do?" she whispered, looking toward Mingyu, who was now standing on her porch. I shrugged. "This isn't fair, Jen…" She blinked her eyes, and when her browns looked into my greens, I wanted to cry. "Because you know I'll do anything for you."

"Except love me," I giggled nervously. She opened her mouth to object, but I didn't give her a chance. "Look, you can say no, okay? I know you can lose your job if you do this."

"I think I'll lose even more if I don't." Lisa headed for the porch and unlocked her front door. "Mingyu, there's a spare room down the hallway to the left. Go to bed."

Mingyu smiled and slugged Lisa in the arm. "I always liked you, Ms. M. No homo…" He paused and laughed at himself. He held his thumb and pointer finger very close to one another. "Well, maybe a little homo."

With that, Mingyu stumbled into the house. Lisa nodded toward the front door. "Come on. It's freezing out."

I didn't move.

Lisa looked back to me, a perplexed look on her face. I looked up to the snow falling down over us. I took one small step in her direction. "This doesn't mean I don't hate you still, because I do. I hate you."

"I know."

Another small step. "But I like you a little for taking him in tonight."

By 'hate' I'd meant love. And by 'a little' I'd meant a lot.