JENNIE

I'll write to you when you're lonely,

If you'll write to me when I'm scared.

And I'll love you even after the world's left with only its despair.

Our love lives.

Never dies.

Always flies, always flies.

~ Romeo's Quest

I was depressed by the sun. The daylight stood for facing reality. I wasn't sure if I was ready for that. My naked body slightly moved in the covers and I shut my eyes one last time. I allowed my mind to remember the night before with Lisa. How safe she'd made me feel, how freeing it had been when she'd loved me.

The sound of my cell phone going off from a text message made my eyes reappear. Sitting up in the bed, I rubbed the palms of my hands against my face. My eyes shifted to the spot next to me. She's still here. It felt good to know that she was still there sleeping peacefully. For a while I just watched her breaths, the way they rose and fell against the sheets.

Ding. Ding. Ding.

I sat up more in bed at the sound of my phone going off three more times in a row. Reaching to the dresser next to the bed, I gasped.

Mingyu's fake cigarette box.

It was sitting next to my phone. I picked it up carefully, as if something terrible would happen if it were to break in my fingers.

I opened it, and inside was a note. The world began to spin. I couldn't bring myself to read it.

My phone dinged again. My throat tightened. "Lisa, wake up." I whispered it too softly and she hardly moved. "Lisa," I hissed louder, unable to move. "Wake up!"

Ding.

Lisa turned over to find me shaking with the box in my hands. I knew I should've checked the phone for the incoming messages. But I couldn't. I was afraid. Her body shot up when she saw the worry in my eyes.

"What is it?"

"Something's wrong," I muttered. The shaking grew, and the fear deepened.

"Sweets…" She placed her hands on my shoulders. "Talk to me."

"Check my phone," I begged.

She reached across my body, her hand grazing across my stomach, and she grabbed my phone. When she flipped it opened, I saw her eyes studying the words. "They're from Richard and Alice."

"Read them to me please."

"Jen, Alice wants you both to come home," she said. "'Jen, where are you?'" She paused. "'Jennie it's Alice. Please, tell Mingyu to come home…'" Paused. "'Why are you two not answering? Please. Please. I've called fifteen times. Bring my baby boy home, please…'" Paused. "Jennie, are you two okay? We're worried…'"

The messages went on and on. Alice wanted him to come home. She'd slept on it, realizing her mistakes.

But what if she realized them too late?

"He's gone," I cried, the box shaking in my fingers.

Lisa stared at me, lost by my reaction. "Jen…it's okay. They want him to come back." She ran her fingers through my hair and kissed my forehead, but I knew better than to be optimistic.

"No, it's not."

I continued sobbing, knowing something was wrong, feeling the same way I'd felt when Irene…

I blinked hard. I couldn't think about that.

"We need to get dressed," Lisa ordered. She left the room and came back with my outfit from the day before. I couldn't move from the bed. She started to dress me, adding on each article of clothing, one by one. Each time she added a piece, the heavier the situation felt.

We walked across the hall and of course Lisa's bed was empty. "He's gone, Lisa, I know he is." She didn't reply. When we looked out the front yard and saw that Nayeon's car was gone, I swore I heard her choke on air. She picked up a backpack that was lying open on the front porch.

"Did he have any money?" Lisa hissed.

My mind froze, confused. She repeated herself, this time harsher.

"Richard gave him three hundred dollars—"

"Yedam…" she muttered before she ran off to the boat shed.

I hurried right behind her. The doors flew opened and Lisa marched onto the boat, never pausing to breathe. She picked up the money that was sitting on the deck. Three hundred bucks. Her brother was laid out sleeping and Lisa began shaking him.

"Yedam! I swear to God, if you did this…"

Yedam opened his eyes, stirring. "What the hell are you doing?"

"You sold to a kid! My student, Yedam!" She threw the empty backpack into her brother's face. My face burned. My legs were numb. My stomach knotted. "Somi's accident wasn't on you. Mom's death wasn't your fault. But I swear to God, if anything happens to that boy, it's on you! It's on you, Yedam!"

Yedam sat up, confused about his whereabouts at first. "What the hell are you talking about? Lali, I didn't do anything—"

"We gotta go," Lisa said, grabbing my arm to drag me out of the shed. "If he dies, Yedam… If he dies, that's on you! That's on you!"

If he dies?

I started crying again.

Because I knew he was already dead.