Chocolat Noir

Nghi

A/N: This came up when I was typing a post in GT about Bachan's doujinshi Hero of the 21st Century. :P One-shot… again. Edit: Just finished editing. Hopefully, it's smoother!

Summary: (AU) She is going to marry a cold husband; he is in mourning for his beloved's death. By chance, they meet for the first and last time… and discover something about love and pain.

Disclaimer: :D Just nod and smile….

Chocolat Noir

It is Christmas day, and the world is in a blanket of white. But it's not a warm blanket at all; her hands are cold, and she thinks her left hand is experiencing hypothermia of some sort. Shivering, she blows a breath of warm air- if only she was not holding this bulky chocolate basket! Her family is in France for a month-long family vacation, and she chose to stay and take care of the shrine. Apparently during their absence, her boss- who was also her boyfriend coincidentally- proposed to her over dinner, and news had spread to them quicker than a rash. She knows this basket gift is just the beginning of a very long line of congratulation cards and other miscellaneous objects, and she sighs. How dreadful of the thought of dragging home pounds upon pounds of marriage presents from coworkers and family members! But then again, she is getting married to one of the most prominent figures of the city. He started the hugely successful (And famous, might she add.) casino in Osaka; then he built the Grand Hijimako Hotel Suite, where it's a known fact that celebrities reside there on many occasions. And after that, he went on to many smaller, but equally thriving ventures. To put it simply, her boss/boyfriend has the finger of gold- whatever he touches turns green and flourishes.

She closes her eyes, trying to take in all of the overwhelming features of her husband. He could provide for her, he could take her to foreign places, he could flush tens of millions of yens down the drain and still be able to live out a comfortable life. He is everything a woman could want, a man of enormous power and wealth.

And she, Kagome Higurashi, is to marry Sesshoumaru Hijimako.

She struggles with the cumbersome case, the delicate weavings nearly slipping out of her gloved fingers. But her hands are not the only ones full- her mind is in a frenzied state, and she does not know why. Isn't she supposed to be happy that someone loves her? Isn't she happy that she's needed in someone's life? Isn't she happy that someone wants to marry her?

There is something inside of her chest, and she knows secretly that Sesshoumaru does not love her, and he does not need her in his life and he does not want to marry her. He has come to respect her for her stubbornness and her fiery ways, and he has come to look as her as a person with good ideas and opinions, but he does not love her. He needs someone to carry on his work, and she is the only person whom he respected enough to allow her this 'privilege'. After all, he does not need a family tying him down.

He may not have voiced his intentions aloud, but Kagome is good at reading body language, and that night when he proposed to her, he did not touch her, he did not smile at her, he did not get down on one knee that she has seen many times on American television. Sesshoumaru-sama asked her stoically, with all the placidity in the world, "Will you accept my nuptial proposal, Kagome-san?" Nuptial! Nuptial! Oh, dear nuptial- never would she have thought his vast terminology would lead him to choose nuptial! Had it not been for the stern look on his face, she would have laughed- but he was serious, and she settled for a dumb nod instead. And then he put a pure gold band around her left ring finger and nodded once, and that was that, the matter settled.

To her, marriage is an important event, when someone marries the person with unbound love. But she supposes his views are a bit different from her fairytale, bridal, cheesy, etc. etc. ending. He sees matrimony as a duty, as something someone does. And once he marries her, Sesshoumaru can check off 'marriage' in his little, blue calendar book and resume his busy CEO life. Kagome thinks she is being a little too bitter and condescending towards her fiancé- after all, she had the option of declining and getting herself out of the spot, but she chose to be with him in the end. And her reasons are no better than Sesshoumaru's either. In fact, they are shallow, petty grounds which she justifies herself with; Kagome does not love him, but she will have a comfortable life and her own family. It is destined to be her fate, and she is mostly content with it.

But is this what she really wants?

This question plagues her as she cuts into the city park, where it is a less circuitous path. Mangled, dead branches hang over her bouncing hair, and she hums a little tune. She is happy right now, satisfied with being by herself. She doesn't need to look too far into the future- she tells herself to take it one step at a time, because that is all she can handle at the moment.

The snow glistens underneath the dimming sun; it is only eight in the morning, so it is quiet, and the sun is beginning to peek out from grey skies. The exit of the park is within noticeable distance, but Kagome feels too lazy to trek through more snow. She decides to catch her breath and plops down on a wooden bench.

Someone is sitting on the other side, and she is mildly surprised to find that he looks so much like her fiancé, with his snow-white locks and piercing yellow eyes. But he is much tanner, despite the difference in season, and he is shorter and slouches and does not sport the black, manly-looking coat that Sesshoumaru-sama often wears. Then he feels her eying him, and he looks back, irritated. But whatever it is that is on Kagome's face makes him shut up- he looks away, and she is intrigued by his reaction. How definitely rude! There is a moment of silence with a few cars zooming by and the translucent snowflakes falling, and then— "Kikyo…?"

Kagome thinks the strange young man is talking to her, but she is not sure; there are a lot of less-than-fortunate people who do not have their bolts screwed correctly in their heads around here. But she answers just to make sure. "I think you have me confused with someone else, sir," she replies politely. Her formality is a habit from Sesshoumaru, she admits to herself in the meanwhile.

He grunts, and there is nothing more to be said. But she is more than intrigued now- she is downright intrigued about this man and why he has called her 'Kikyo'. It is a horrible proclivity of hers to poke at subjects not intended for prodding, not to mention how annoying and rude it makes her out to be, but she can't help it- curiosity is curiosity, and likewise, Higurashi will be Higurashi. Hijimako, she reminds herself for the umpteenth time; it is hard work trying to adjust to a different last name. After the wedding, she would return to her work and begin stamping papers again, but with a new family name. Kagome thinks changing her signature will be the hardest feat in all in her twenty-eight years- for Pete's sake, she barely remembers her latest surname! How on earth can she manage—

She catches herself falling along with the reckless pacing of her thoughts and stops herself before the mysterious man leaves. But how can one approach a subject so sensitive and probably guarded without seeming uncouth? How can one ask with utmost care and grace so as to offend as least as possible? How can one go about prodding into a topic that is private and for close members only? She realizes there is no way to be polite about someone else's business, and Kagome would have to risk ethnic etiquette to gain knowledge, be it useful or worthless. There is a very good chance he will not answer and think her bad-mannered, but for all it is worth, she is not going to nose around without some semblance of Japanese civility! Then she promptly berates herself for letting Sesshoumaru's awful formality rub off her and begins forming rehearsed sentences in her head. It is too hard, Kagome decides after a few minutes. Best go along with whatever her mouth can run into, and there will be absolutely no formality because the setting does not command for it! "Pray tell, sir, but why did you call me 'Kikyo'?" Pray tell? Pray tell? She groans inwardly- it is just as bad as nuptials. She should not have let her mouth run off like that….

"Were you talking to me?" Comes the reply, and Kagome nearly cries. He has forgotten about her already, and it is thanks to her stupid hesitation! "You called me 'Kikyo', sir," she reminds him, and he is suddenly scowling angrily. "What the fuck? I didn't call you anything like that."

She is bewildered at the abrupt change in behavior- and here she thinks she is being too rude! She looks around the park wildly for something to hear what the Sesshoumaru-wannabe has just said. 'Didn't call her anything'? When specifically four paragraphs ago he mumbled the name to her? "Are you a complete loony?" Kagome does not mean to let her emotions control her tongue, but 'accidentally' doesn't explain anything, except lack of willpower. It is not helping that he was irritated beforehand, but now— now, he is twice as irked, and that is not good. "Well, sorry for just sittin' here and doing nothin'," he retorts, "you look like you learned some of that damn etiquette, so shut up and mind your own business." He glares at her some more for a lingering aftereffect.

Kagome shuts up. Then she grows bored of shutting up and begins to pester the poor man again. It is fifteen minutes till half past seven, and there is a lot to do before work at eight, but she is too lazy. Today is not a day for routine when everything else is already blown out of proportion. "Since we gave up on formality, why don't we just talk?" It is a peace offering, but the man will not take it. "You dumbass," he growls, "can't you see I want to be left alone?"

"We can be alone together- I have to go in a little bit anyways," she explains, but he still refuses. She offers to let him enter the monologue whenever he wants and begins chatting away. "Everyone else has problems, too!" she begins. She figures he is a stranger and will never meet him again, so it is all right to tell him of her confused feelings. "See, I have a boyfriend. His name is Sesshoumaru Hijimako, and yes, he is the one who created that beautiful, towering casino in Osaka. He's really cool, too! He travels a lot, and he likes projects that are successful. You can sort of say he has a knack for sniffing out failing businesses and turning them into awesome profits." The man is off in his own world again, and she is starting to feel better.

"Well… I guess you can say that I met him somewhere three years ago, when I accidentally threw up all over his Gucci shoes. It was an accident, and it could happen to the lot of anyone with a weak stomach for alcohol. My parents' anniversary was that day in case you were wondering," she explains hastily. "And I guess it's a very bizarre way for someone to become acquainted, but we did. And it turns out he runs the company that I work for- I'm an office lady, by the way, so no surprise there. But despite the power difference, we hit along great. I give him a lot of advice on his business; I don't know if he takes it or not, but he seems to listen to me sincerely, so it's all good. Then one day, he asked me out to dinner, and I guess it was a sign of progression in our relationship." Kagome peers to the side to find the man still not listening, just like he said. Her head is beginning to clear.

"And just recently, while my family is in France for winter break, I'm here helping out in the shrine, you see, and… Sesshoumaru proposed to me." Awkward silence again, and she stares at her wool skirt. When will the fact become normalcy for her? "I... accepted, of course, because he is my boyfriend. But the thing is I don't love him." She falters a bit; Kagome has always been conscious about her lukewarm feelings for Sesshoumaru, but she keeps them to herself- this is the first time she voices them aloud, and they feel foreign and distant to her ears. The weight on her chest horribly lifts considerably, and she feels ashamed. "So you're probably wondering why I'm going to marry him then," she mumbles. "It is because he can provide for me; I'm about of age to marry anyways, and I figure if I were going to marry so late, I might as well to him—"

"That is a shallow reason for marrying him," the man interjected flatly, and Kagome is very much surprised. Then the words sink in, and she is taken aback by such a blunt answer. "You don't have to put it like that," she says, feeling her ears prickle with embarrassment. "It's not—"

"It's everything like that. You're marrying him for how much he is worth, how much money he has in his banking account," he argues smoothly. "If he were an office coworker like you, you would have flat-out rejected him." The man is beginning to annoy her with his false accusations, and she clearly shows it in her glowering face. "Mister… Mister... Stranger, you have no ground to base anything like that about me!" Kagome snaps. "Sesshoumaru was the first man to propose, and I accepted because of that reason. If it was another person, I would have done the same thing, too. I was just weighing his pros and cons a moment ago."

The man is quiet again as she takes in deep breaths to calm her temper; the plastic wrapping around her basket makes a crunching noise as she shifts it to the other leg. Has he been stumped by her explanation to how she was acting? Is his silence a show that he understands her plight? Finally: "That is not a very good justification." She scowls at his daring to scorn her. "The point is that you're marrying him for anything but your feelings. You're not giving yourself to him, and vice versa. It's like marrying out of pity or duty."

Kagome squeezes her bundle tightly. "I am giving him something, at least- my loyalty and faith. And although I can't provide him any show of love interest, I can try to offer everything else as compensation for that." The simmering anger is boiling slowly as she watches Mister Stranger shake his head at her logic. "That won't be enough at all. You marrying this Sesshoumaru is not going to work out because you're tied down unwillingly, and the only benefit is receiving a free Prada bag every other month. And you are shallow because you came into this proposal fully knowing the circumstances, and still agreeing to it."

"What do you know about love and duty and loyalty?" she retorts. It is maddening how this man assumes such an air of know-it-all. "As I recall, you're still brooding over 'Kikyo', or whoever this girl is, so you're in no position to lecture me about true love and all the cheesiness that comes with it." She hates herself for blurting out words she did not mean and blames Sesshoumaru for turning her into a pessimist about this subject.

Unknowingly, Kagome strikes a chord within the man, and he is immediately dark and withdrawing again. "Don't talk about her," he warns coldly, and she sees his eyes narrowing into slits. If she is in her right mind, she would have kept mum and approached another subject. But he has criticized her so much to the point of antagonizing, so why couldn't she let him have a taste of his own medicine? "Oh, I think I can and will. If you were so intent on teaching me about what love is, then why don't you go and marry Kikyo instead of being a commitment-phobic person that you are and sitting on your bum in the middle of the—"

Her words are cut off as the man's hand lashes out and knocks the gift basket off her lap. "Hey-"

"Stop before you hurt yourself." It is his turn to snap, and she sees his eyes again- but they are not the cold stones that Kagome made out a minute ago. They say a person's heart is through their eyes, and she realizes with a sinking feeling that in her fury she had touched a sore spot. But the wavering amber turns hard just as quickly, and the man is seething. Kagome is uncomfortable and starts for an apology, but he cuts her off quickly. "Don't. It's worthless." Curt and terse, and she fears having crossed the line of acceptable. The sun is hiding behind the clouds as she blows puffs of air out; the birds have stopped their trilling, and a light powder of snow starts to fall instead. "Please say something."

"So you can beat at it some more?" he glares at her from hooded eyes, and Kagome flinches; she knows she deserves it. "You're going to start pointing out the flaws of how we went out? What, it's not enough to love someone? She's gotta come with a warranty to be worth everything, right? I guess it's too bad you would never approve of our relationship, because no one gave their blessing anyways. But I guess I should've known it wasn't worth it when she didn't include me in her will. I guess I should've known it wasn't worth it when some punk brought a fuckin' pistol to school and gunned her down. And I guess I should've known it wasn't worth it when she died of wound complications. So everyone got what they wanted; our relationship ended before I could give her a ring."

His breathing is ragged from the long speech, and he has done his job well; she feels wretched and ugly and there is a burning lump lodged in her throat. A cold wind passes softly, and the snow begins to trickle down a little faster; a few snowflakes are entangled within her unruly hair. "That is horrible," she means to say, but the man interrupts her again, proud and strong and steeled. "I hate pity, and I don't need it from a person like you, who's far worse off than me."

Kagome stays quiet and bends over to pick up her basket gift. Nothing is broken on account of the two feet of snow; it had landed harmlessly, and the only problem was the wet snow gliding off the clear plastic surface. "Why… do you say that my situation is far worse? I am marrying a man who will give me a lovely life; I am safe from pain. You exposed yourself, and you ended up hurt. So why do you say I am unfortunate?" There is a crack in her voice as she brushes away the wetness on her gift. The snow is falling in a rapid fashion, touching her eyelashes and red cheeks; she can hardly see anymore and closes her eyes. His voice carries to her ears. "Because without pain, there is no love. And without love, there is nothing."

The wristwatch begins to beeps loudly, reminding her it is 7:30 and time to prepare for work. Kagome lets itgo for a while, her eyes closed and the snowflakes hitting her face gently. Then she shuts off the alarm and stands up- with her face shielded from the snow, she glimpses over at the brusque man. He is looking back at her with an inscrutable sagacity, and there is a last brief of silence before she bows slightly and turns around. He speaks one more time to her retreating back.

"My name is Inuyasha."

Kagome is barely 50 paces away before she realizes she did not get the chance to look at the gift. Unwinding the pink silk ribbon, she pats around the inside before curling her fingers around a small, smooth object. Pulling her hand out, she is surprised to find it is chocolate, and even more so that it is French chocolate, chocolat noir. The snow is dancing and kissing her black hair softly, and she savors the taste of the imported sweet; it is bitter like life, a reminder that nothing is ever fair. With or without the pain, life still goes on without stopping.

It is bittersweet embracing love.

Finis