JENNIE

I want to know who you were before me.

I want to see the world that you see.

~ Romeo's Quest

We made a quick stop before heading to Mom's house. When Lisa drove the rental car up to the curb of the suburban house, I smiled. One of the cars in the driveway had bumper stickers covering it with some of the best bands ever created.

Suho's car.

I reached into the treasure chest and pulled out Irene's promise ring and the letter addressed to Suho. Feeling the ring against my fingers made me sigh. They would've been so happy together.

"I'll wait here," Lisa said, noticing the look in my eyes.

"Please come with me?" I asked, climbing out of the car.

Her door opened and she climbed out, too, closing the door quietly. Each footstep I took toward the household felt painful. Each time my winter boots lifted, I felt a sharp knife stabbing me inside my gut.

Holding on to the ring and letter with one hand and Lisa's hand with the other, I climbed the steps up to the front door. My head turned to the porch swing, which was covered in a bit of snow. I blinked and the memories started to resurface.

"I think I love him," Irene whispered against my ear as we swung back and forth on Suho's porch on a humid summer night. He headed inside to grab us some sodas before we went to the fair.

I snickered at my sister. "You love him."

She gave me a sly smile and nodded. "I love him."

Shaking my head back and forth, I snapped myself out of the memory. My finger rose and I held the doorbell down for a second. Right at the sound of the doorbell, though, I wanted to retreat. I wanted to go back the way I'd come and drive back down to Chicago.

Then Lisa tightened her hold on my hand.

I relaxed.

The door opened, and when I saw Suho through the screen door, I gasped. He looked surprised and a bit sad at first. I wished I didn't look so much like her. Just seeing me probably broke his heart.

Suho stepped onto the porch and his eyes widened. "Jennie," he whispered.

My feet started shifting around. My nerves were growing strong.

Lisa let go of my hand, and when I looked at her, she gave me a small grin.

"Hi, Suho."

Suho laughed, his eyes watering over. "'Hi, Suho?' That's all I get? Come here." He wrapped me into a hug. I breathed him in, hugging him tighter and tighter as time went by. "You look so good," he whispered against me.

"You too, Suho." We pulled away from one another and both wiped at our eyes, laughing. "Oh, Merry Christmas!" I said, scratching at the back of my neck.

He smiled wide. "So who do we have here?"

I turned to Lisa, who was quietly waiting to the side. I blushed. "This is Lisa, my—" I paused, not knowing what we were at the moment.

"Girlfriend," Lisa smiled, holding her hand out toward Suho. "It's nice to meet you."

Suho gave me a coy look, "Oh, it's nice to meet you, too." He pushed his tongue against the inside of his cheek. "She's a looker, isn't she?" I giggled and shoved Suho in the arm. "Well, don't just stand out here. Come on inside."

Hesitation took over me. For some reason, I didn't feel as if I should step inside without Irene by my side. "We can't stay. I just…" My hands rose with the letter and ring. "I wanted to give you this." The ring landed in his hands and I heard a deep-rooted gasp run through him. "She left it in the treasure box you gave me. And she asked me to give you the letter."

He held the piece of paper tight in his hand. "This is from Irene?"

I nodded.

As I watched him slowly open the letter, a weird sense of peace washed over me. It felt like a book closing, the final chapter to the love story of Suho and Irene receiving closure.

He cried as he read her words. Of course he cried. Her letters always made people cry. "She was my favorite." His voice cracked as he kept reading the words over and over again.

"I know."

"Sometimes I wonder how I'm supposed to begin again, ya know? How am I supposed to…" He coughed and ran his hand over his water-soaked face. "How am I supposed to ever be happy again?"

"You start slow." Lisa stepped forward, placing her hand on Suho's shoulder. "You allow yourself to feel whatever the hell it is you're feeling. And when you start to feel happy, don't feel guilty about it."

"Start slow," Suho repeated to himself. His head fell to the porch. "Wow. She's a looker and she's smart. So much better than Billy."

I laughed at Suho's comment and pulled him into a goodbye hug. "Take care of yourself, okay?"

He pulled back and kissed my forehead. "You too, Jen-Jen." Turning to Lisa, Suho shook her hand. "Lisa… Take care of my kid sister, okay?"

Lisa held on to Suho's hand for second longer and smiled. She then stuffed her hands into her pockets. "I will."

She would.