JENNIE

This isn't something that I want to fade.

Promise there will be sunshine after this rain.

~ Romeo's Quest

After I left Edgewood, I went home and finished my senior year at my old school. My old friends tried to connect with me, but I wasn't the girl they'd once known. Mom still struggled every day with dealing with Irene's death, but she promised me she was doing better with me being home.

She laughed a lot more, too.

Every night I sat on the couch with her—she watched television while I read. Our routine worked for us up until the day I went off to college to find myself. To start over. I made new friends. I grew comfortable being on my own, which was something I'd never been in my entire life. I'd gone from being a twin, always having someone near me, to being in a relationship with Lisa.

I didn't regret either thing, for they'd both made me who I was today. They'd made me stronger.

My imagination used to pretend that we were together after we went our separate ways. I would roll over in my bed each morning and dream of her lips kissing mine, her arms wrapping me up as she pressed me against her warming body, her love breathing life into my entire being. I would imagine her making me a cup of tea while I made her eggs in her favorite fashion and her coffee extra dark. Then we would make love before the sun fully awakened and smile because we would know that our bodies had been crafted for one another.

Our hearts would always beat for one another. Our souls were destined to burn together in a mystifying flame that lit the universe with hope and passion.

Most people didn't understand. My friends encouraged me to move on, to find someone else. Yet how could I allow someone to give me their all when I knew I couldn't return the same to them? It wouldn't be fair.

I knew I would never fall in love again. It wasn't in my cards. I supposed it was because when I'd first fallen in love, I never stopped falling.

Anyone on this planet would be lucky if they had the chance to love Ms. Manoban.

Yet I was the luckiest. Because for a moment she loved me back.

I wrote each and every day whenever I wasn't doing homework. I created a story I hadn't even known lived inside of me. There wasn't a word written that hadn't been accompanied by her CD playing in my ears. It was as if she were right there with me, cheering me on.

By the end of my sophomore year, I finally wrote the words on the last page. "The End."

I'd done it. I was officially an author.

After I finished my first ever novel, I self-published it. I sold a whopping seven copies.

Two of which were my own purchases.

And then I went back to Edgewood.

Two years early.

I couldn't fight it anymore; I had to see if she was still thinking about me.

Because I'd never stopped for one second thinking of her.

I stood in front of the school building for the longest time, staring straight into her classroom. She was smiling toward her students, sitting on the corner of her desk, probably begging them to interact with her. Her hands were waving around the classroom, and she stood from the desk as she began to write on the whiteboard. She'd cut her hair. He looked so…grown up.

My cheeks heated up just as they had the first time my eyes had spotted her. She laughed at something a student had said as she was writing on the board and shook her head back and forth. When the bell rang, I watched the students pack up their backpacks and start heading out of the classroom. The spring breeze picked up, and I held my arms tighter across my body. When I took a step backward, I watched Lisa's body turn toward the window, and when she looked up, our eyes locked. Everything inside of me froze over, and my lips stayed parted.

Her dark eyes were confused at first, but then she held up her hand toward me and mouthed, "Hi."

My heart was shattering at the simple word and small gesture. I bit my bottom lip to keep from tearing up, and I held my hand up to her. "Hi," I whispered.

She wiped her hand across her mouth and then rubbed the back of her neck. I stepped forward, and she did too, until we were standing face to face, only a glass window separating us. She rested her hand against the glass, and I placed mine against it. My eyes fell to her fingertips, which were almost resting against mine, and I smiled.

When I looked up to her, I saw the water in her eyes and she smiled back my way. "Tea?" she asked. I nodded my head, a tear rolling down my cheek. She slid her hands into her pockets. "Don't cry."

My shoulders shrugged. I couldn't help it. She'd told me to wait for her, and I couldn't help but chuckle because I would wait for her always.

It wasn't long until she gathered up her things and met me outside of the school building. We stood in front of each other for the longest, just smiling like children. I went to hug her, and she must have had the same thought because we stepped on each other's shoes. A nervous laugh happened and I felt like that same teenager who was meeting her for the first time at the train station.

When her arms finally made it around me, I breathed in her scents, tugging tightly on her jacket. She didn't dare pull away anytime soon.

"You look so grown up," I whispered into her shoulder and she laughed, rubbing her hand against my back.

"Ditto." She pulled away and stared at me.

Changing the subject, I ran my finger across my red nose. "I stopped by your place last night, but—"

"I moved." She gestured for us to start walking down the sidewalk and I followed her lead. "I spent some time fixing it up with Yedam, and then I sold it."

"But it was—"

"My parents' dream. Not mine. I got a new place not too far from here. A big kid's apartment," she joked.

We stood in silence, but it wasn't uncomfortable at all. "How is Yedam?"

She smiled. "Clean. For the first time in a while. He's staying with Mino. He's back in the band."

"Good for him. Good for both of you." Lisa just smiled. "You'll have to show me this big kid's apartment someday."

"I have tea there now. I mean, if you want to see it," she offered.

Of course I agreed. We walked to her apartment and talked about anything and everything.

You know those people you could go years without seeing and when you finally get together it felt like no time had passed? Hold on to those people.

When she placed her key in the lock, she turned to say something to me, but nothing came out of her mouth. Because I placed my lips against her. It was rushed and suddenly imposed, but I had to remember her taste, I had to remember her against me.

She didn't hesitate to kiss me back. Her hand wrapped around my lower back, and I sighed against her, drunk on Lisa.

I pulled back and stared into her brown eyes. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry." I blushed as I stepped back. "I don't even know if you're seeing anyone! And here I am just slamming my lips against yours as if this is some kind of—"

She shut me up, pushing her mouth against mine again. She separated my lips with her tongue and slowly deepened our kiss.

I sighed again, my eyes closed. "You don't have a girlfriend, right?"

She chuckled. "No. And you don't have a boyfriend?"

I felt her body against mine and was a little surprised at how much it still felt like home.

"Uh, Jennie?" she questioned, snapping me out of my mind.

"Oh! No. No boyfriend." I slightly rocked back and forth in my shoes. "But you can tell me, you know. If there was another person in your life. I haven't dated, because…well…how could I after this? But I mean, three years is a long time to wait and I completely understand if you moved on I mean—"

Her fingers landed on my lips. "You're rambling."

I nodded. "I'm nervous."

She stepped in close, our noses brushing. Her fingers combed through my hair and she stared into my eyes. "There was never another woman, Jennie. There can never be another woman." Putter. Putter. Heart. Heart. I watched her eyes smile. "Come inside."

When I stepped into her apartment, I smiled. It was very much Lisa's apartment. She had musical instruments in her living room and bookshelves packed to the corners with books.

I wandered over to the bookshelf, laying my fingers against it, feeling the covers of the books. So many Shakespeare plays. So much history.

"I have green tea and chai tea. And this weird boxed tea that one of my students' Mom gave me for Christmas last year. What can I get you?" she asked, moving to her kitchen.

No words came to mind. Because right between Hamlet and Much Ado About Nothing was my novel.

To Find Juliet.

Not just one copy, but two.

"Lisa," I whispered.

She looked up and walked over to me. "It's brilliant," she said, crossing her arms across her body. "I mean, the lead hero could be a bit of an asshole sometimes, but everything about it is perfect. I loved it." She cleared her throat and picked up both copies of it. "I loved it so much that I bought two. Just in case something happened to the first copy."

A tear fell down my cheek and I nodded in understanding. "A double problem?"

She moved in and kissed my tears away. "We need to set up a signing for them." She moved over to her living room coffee table and tossed everything onto the floor. Grabbing my arm, she led me to sit down on the couch. I giggled as she placed a pen in my hand and walked up to the table as if she were my biggest fan.

Which she might have been.

She placed the first book down on the table. I opened it and gasped. "Lisa…"

Inside the book cover was the promise ring Suho had given to Irene. And the book had already been signed. It read the words, "Will you marry me, Ms. Kim?" signed by Ms. Manoban herself.

The tears fell down my cheeks and I smiled up at her. She nudged me gently. "You have to write your answer and sign your name."

Of course I wrote the word yes.

And then I autographed it with who I would be for the rest of my life.

Mrs. Manoban.