Authors note: a joke i swear, we're normal i promise ( i prommie)
Tags: nci kl4d2 ellis l4ds coach l4ds rochell l4d2 inanimate objects ,hickies, sucking, lonley drunk nick, dumb shit, fake hickies, nick trying to show off, this is jyoagaks fault this is normal i promise, i was told im not allowed to call vacuum
stroy
It was 81 degrees in this -humid hotel room in the lates spring of lousiiane, and nick drunk
His date had wwwwwwww left him alone T THE BAR WHEN HE TRIED GETTING SMART WITH BARTENDET (sorry i accidentally hit caps lock, im not yelling at you and im not fixing it) "shit" he said staring at blank tv, nothing t0 watc5h oh well .
"What are you laughing at" he said to the tv that was not on. m, nick was about 300 bottles of liquor in, he should be fucking dead =, however god said no;.wirh no other plans to further embarrass himself at least not in front of others he decided to tay ion but that didnt stop him from being loney oh well hes divoec3d, what.
What? Bro leave it. What.
Anyway- he got up from off the ceiling and made his way to the closet to change some clothes since his were gross from the warm weather and troo much cologne. He had too much axe body spray . he is dieing due to how much there is. Please send help/
okay anyway inside the closet were no new clothes no idea where they went- honestly this might not even be his hotel room - where thf is he. Ytjnere is a sus vacuum cleaner in the closet., maybe the clothes are in there he i think probably. (note the random change from omnipresent dialogue to first person i guess) "nobody has to know about this" i say lying to myslefr . the closet is not ment for a vacuum cleaner . it needs the bathroom . what do you mean it need the bathroom? Tiles cleaned needed.
:why does my hotel closet even have a vacuum? Shouldnt room service made sure not to leace it? Low quality hotel amiright? " i say to myself for am alone in hotel room still. No bitches present. I spent all my money on this suit. Which is 3k. I think. Maybe. Idont know i didnt pay for makes a lot of sense for it to be someone else's since this suit does not fit me at all, too baggy, i look like gremlin. I need to fix that. I need to become a started zat the VACCUM CLEANRER WITH EYES FULL OF ALCHOCOHL . he dumpt it in his eye so he could see ? What do you mean SEE better? YOU anyway-
He spent a night with the vaccum cleaner even giving himself a hickie, neighbors in the hall definitely heard him crying for his ex wife- pretty pathetic he needs to get to know the vacuum better. Its date night now. NO he just gave himself a hickie since he was too scared his shrimp dick would fly right off cand get stuck forever and hed never get it back,so sadge
He passed out very shortly after due to fear of losing his dick from rthe vaccume on the floor in the family guy death pose. Its very normal. Nick woke to the feeling of tthe vaccum still attached to his neck and the sounds of a panicked crowd outside his hotel eroom, taking forever to stand up since hes so fuckijng old and old and very drunk and hangovered . normal old people things that the old people do normally .(again we switched perspectives) "whats all that racket? what ? breakfast about to be over? Question maerk" he sayud like an old man telling kids to get off his fullt up now and glancing over at the alarm clock next to the bed, the clock said 3:13a which couldnt be true since it looked pretty bright out sus since the power is out something is wrong here what the fuck is goimng on."wait a minute i see a plot hole" nick said before detaching the tube form his neck, leaving a gross, nasty, icky ew gross fuck ball big stunku stinky hickey that feltawful and cool. Like he wanted. sex,. dude what delete that
Wanting to see what tf he did to himself and why the hell there was a vummunm tube on his neck he walked into the bathroom and tried to flip on the lights but i guess the power was it was a bit dark to see but with the little bit of sunlight he was able to see it looked–really dumb and that mayb e he had too much to drink, it looked like he was jumped specifically on his neck in one spot, like he was in a car wreck or had some seirous whiplash. Basically he looked gross, nasty, icky ew gross fuck ball big stunku stinky fucked up..his own stare even dishing judgement and bewilderment at what the fuck he's done. This was a really bad one night stand. Probably one of his worst. His thought interrupted at the sound of someone wailing on his door asking if anyone was in there and if they could be let in. was that the manager? Fuck the manager.
He let die- no one can see him like this, not without him comepleteling the look, he grabbed lipstick from the floor which manifested becAUSE OF PLOT and he just put it on his collAR. When he was doing it he talked like a beauty person youtube guy and kept shjowing the mirror the lipstick he found on the floor., he stayed there for about 3 hours until it was started to get quiet but also really warm-
"Oh the ac just must be borken"
Was what he tried telling himself before hearing explosions on the lower levels of the hotel "fuck"
then he met met up with the others while making his way through hotel and just lied saying his hickies were from hawt girls