Pumpkin Pie
A/N: Hi, this is my first story. I'm stupid. Please kill me. This is a good story, and if anyone thinks otherwise, I'll glue them to the wall.
Bobfred-91 (Author of Harry Potter and the Art of War): What do you want?
Pieme: Well I had to wake you up to say the Disclaimer.
Bobfred-91: But it's 2 AM.
Pieme: Holding shotgun to head Say it.
Bobfred-91: He does not own Harry Potter. He hasn't got the brains.
Pieme: No I don't. Bang
Bobfred-91: Humming the song from Star Wars Oh that's got blanks.
Pieme: Slits Throat that doesn't.
Pumpkin Pie
"PIEPIEPIEPIEPIEPIEPIEPIEPIEPIE" Harry said while walking to the great hall with Ron and Hermione.
"Shut up! You're making me hungry." Said Ron, while holding his stomach, "I still can't go poopie."
Harry and Hermione stop and look at him, "What?" they said unanimously.
"Didn't you know I was cons-, uh never mind."
"HA, DID YOU HEAR THAT THE WEASELS CONSTIPATED! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA."
Everyone that heard burst out laughing while Ron turned scarlet and hid behind Harry and Hermione's legs. Harry and Hermione who were sniggering led Ron to the Great hall.
Ron and Hermione jumped as Harry yelled, "PIE" and helped himself to 14 serves of pumpkin pie.
The next day Harry and Ron were sent to the hospital wing because of constipation and a really bad case of food poisoning.
Hermione was sent to class but then sent to the hospital wing with 5 other people due to minor food poisoning. It turned out that 74 of the school ate the delicious pie (a/n see profile) and got food poisoning.
It turned out that the Slytherins poisoned the food.
After that everyone lived happily ever after, the slytherins were expelled and Ron died of constipation as he spontaneously combusted as he also had laxatives slipped into his pumpkin juice by someone who isn't the author, it was Seamus, not me. Got it? Mwahahahahahaha… ignore the laughing… cause it was Seamus. Not me… hehehe… oh… THE ED I mean end…