Kitty: Even MORE reviews! It's so great! Y'know, I think this was the first time that me being extremely pissed led to something good.
Naruto: Yeah! Usually it leads to you beating up that runt you go to school with! You know! The one that declared you guys 'mortal enemies' that day you went mini-golfing!
Kitty: veiny-thing twitches DON'T remind me! I was just starting to calm down about that! Then YOU had to bring it up! points dramatically at Naruto
Sasuke: has finally come out from under the rug Oh, hey, I remember that. twitch When you got home later that night, you knocked the head off that little statue in your hedge maze with your training sword. makes a cat-spitting noise
Everyone else: backs up a little bit
Sakura: … Did anyone ever notice that the head was missing from that statue? It seems kinda obvious when a little boy made of stone is missing his head.
Kitty: I dunno… Maybe the dude who trims the hedges did. Where did that guy go…? I haven't seen him in a while…
Naruto: While we try to find Kitty's gardener, you can read the next chapter! goes off to find the missing gardener
Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine… sighs sadly
Both Naruto and Sasuke lay on the floor. One was twitching violently, and the other was laughing very hard.
"What's WRONG with him?!" Sakura demanded as she stomped her foot a few inches from Naruto's face. Naruto glanced up at her. She had her head down as she glared at him. Sasuke's voice echoed in his head.
'And y'know what? She's flatter than the desk you're sitting on.' Naruto studied the glaring expression on Sakura's face for a few seconds, then broke into hysterics noticing that, even though she was standing almost on top of him, her face was not obscured by her chest in the slightest. He peeked over at Sasuke, who looked to be drowning in bad memories.
"Oh God, Sasuke! You're right!" he roared as he tried to stand up, using the chair Sasuke had previously been sitting in for support. Sakura glared even harder than before.
"What are you talking about?!" she almost yelled. "And WHAT'S wrong with Sasuke?!" Naruto glanced as Sasuke again.
"Can I tell her?" he tried to whisper, but it came out as a giggle. At this, Sasuke's eyes shot open, and he shook his head violently. "Why not…?" Naruto asked, this time managing to whisper.
"Just don't…!" Sasuke hissed back, fighting off the urge to twitch unsuccessfully. Then the boys began to whisper. And through the giggles and the cat-spitting noises, Sakura made out the words 'small-chested' and her own name. Hearing the second phrase, she crossed her arms quickly, and blushed.
"Fine," she said, through gritted teeth. Then she stomped away. Soon, Naruto had gotten control of his giggle fit, and Sasuke was beginning to be able to contain his twitching and cat-spitting noises.
"Why couldn't I tell her?" Naruto asked innocently. "It's not like she doesn't know that she's about as curvy as a can of soup." Sasuke sighed.
"I wouldn't want her to think I'm a Peeping-Tom," Sasuke said.
"But she'd LIKE that, wouldn't she?" Naruto asked, confused. Sasuke shivered.
"Exactly." He shivered again, then looked at the clock. He had time to get into a serious conversation, even though it was with someone as dim-witted as Naruto. ((Sorry Naruto fans! … I should add right now that this next bit was a REAL CONVERSATION that the boys' Sex Ed. class had. (I was in there dusting furniture because the girls' Sex Ed. teacher was absent, and the other teachers made all the girls clean the school since it was the end of the year. I had to PROMISE I wasn't listening. But, naturally, I was.) Anyway, I should probably change the rating of this, but I'll let you tell me. I've seen/heard worse things in PG-13 movies. coughTitaniccough))
"Besides," Sasuke added, sitting back down in his chair. "Girls are REALLY sensitive about that kinda thing."
"Huh?" Naruto looked more confused than he had ever been. Sasuke motioned for him to sit. Naruto hopped up onto Sasuke's section of the desk-table-thing, and sat Indian-style as Sasuke scooted his chair forward so they wouldn't be heard as much. Sasuke rested one elbow on his desk, facing Naruto, which formed a sort of two-person circle-thing. By the look on Sasuke's face, this was going to take a while.
"Y'see Naruto," Sasuke started, suddenly feeling very grown-up. "Girls'--" He motioned to his chest, while making awkward stuttering noises. "--chests," he finally managed to say, all the while losing his mature confidence. "Girls' chests are very important to them. They're sort of like moose and their antlers."
"What?" Naruto asked, making that squinty face. Sasuke turned a little red.
"The bigger the girls' chests are, the more confident and important-feeling the girls are." Seeing absolutely NO connection between breasts and moose, Naruto blinked and shook his head in confusion. Sasuke shook his head in disgust. "You're not gonna make this easy for me, are you?" Then he scanned the classroom for something better. Finding nothing, he cast his eyes downward in despair. He found just what he was looking for, and it had been right (well, not right) under his nose the whole time. His face lit up, but then, since he hadn't gotten completely over his twitching, he shuddered a little.
"Sasuke, you shouldn't twitch and make that face at the same time. It's REALLY creepy," Naruto said, shifting himself around on the desk.
"Anyway Naruto, girls treat their chests as we guys do our--" He motioned vaguely to his lap. Naruto blinked.
"I'm not following, Sasuke," Naruto admitted with a baffled look on his face. "Why do you have to be so imprecise?" ((I know, I know. Not a word Naruto would normally use. But my thesaurus's other words are about twice as long… So you'll just have to deal with it.)) Sasuke looked nervously around the room.
"Dammit Naruto…!" he hissed. "Just try to figure it out…!" He motioned again.
"C'mon Sasuke, just say it-- Oh. Oooooh." Naruto turned bright red. Sasuke, who was REALLY not used to talking about this kind of thing, especially with someone like Naruto.
"Naruto think about it."
"Huh?"
"How would you feel if you had just stepped out of the shower and Sakura was peeking into your window? Then, the next day at school, she said your dick was as big as a double-A battery?"
((This was the part of the class where I had to shove my fist in my mouth to keep from laughing. Only to get very strange looks from the guy I really like.))
Naruto's little mind-chibis did their thing in his head, and then his squinty facial expression softened as he imagined the embarrassment of this. Then he sighed.
"I guess you're right for once, Sasuke," he muttered. "But God!" he yelled, breaking the semi-sympathetic mood. "You have no idea how much I wish I had been you last night!" Sasuke smiled weakly.
"I could say the same thing about you," he said softly. Then Iruka popped his head in the door, smiling widely, and class began.
Kitty: is laughing hysterically Oh God! You have no idea how much I'm missing Sex Ed. right now! I know it's wrong to miss Sex Ed., but that was probably the best class I ever took. It's just sooooooooooooo funny! Not because of the overall tension, it's just the fact that the teachers handed out condoms, then made up FOOL AROUND with them JUST so we could be more comfortable with them!
Sasuke: has finally gotten over twitching/cat spitting You really had ONE PERVERTED TEACHER, didn't you?
Kitty: imagines a chibi Kakashi with 'Make Out Paradise' No, not really. But that, along with an idea my friend had in a hotel room last summer, did inspire me to start writing another Naruto fic.
Naruto: Oh NO! As if THIS story wasn't gross enough… You just HAVE to make another one!
Sakura: not paying any attention to what's going on Hey! I'm hardly in this chapter! How come?!
Kitty: We needed some Naruto/Sasuke bonding. After this chapter, they're gonna be friends, okay? Okay!
Naruto: looks at Sasuke Friend… glomps him
Sasuke: choke gag sputter
Kitty: P.S. I found a really cool Naruto website. I downloaded music videos and both soundtracks from it. It's called Go there to download the soundtrack for free before the people who own the CD rights go in there and make you pay to download it!
Naruto: Yeah! Usually it leads to you beating up that runt you go to school with! You know! The one that declared you guys 'mortal enemies' that day you went mini-golfing!
Kitty: veiny-thing twitches DON'T remind me! I was just starting to calm down about that! Then YOU had to bring it up! points dramatically at Naruto
Sasuke: has finally come out from under the rug Oh, hey, I remember that. twitch When you got home later that night, you knocked the head off that little statue in your hedge maze with your training sword. makes a cat-spitting noise
Everyone else: backs up a little bit
Sakura: … Did anyone ever notice that the head was missing from that statue? It seems kinda obvious when a little boy made of stone is missing his head.
Kitty: I dunno… Maybe the dude who trims the hedges did. Where did that guy go…? I haven't seen him in a while…
Naruto: While we try to find Kitty's gardener, you can read the next chapter! goes off to find the missing gardener
Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine… sighs sadly
Both Naruto and Sasuke lay on the floor. One was twitching violently, and the other was laughing very hard.
"What's WRONG with him?!" Sakura demanded as she stomped her foot a few inches from Naruto's face. Naruto glanced up at her. She had her head down as she glared at him. Sasuke's voice echoed in his head.
'And y'know what? She's flatter than the desk you're sitting on.' Naruto studied the glaring expression on Sakura's face for a few seconds, then broke into hysterics noticing that, even though she was standing almost on top of him, her face was not obscured by her chest in the slightest. He peeked over at Sasuke, who looked to be drowning in bad memories.
"Oh God, Sasuke! You're right!" he roared as he tried to stand up, using the chair Sasuke had previously been sitting in for support. Sakura glared even harder than before.
"What are you talking about?!" she almost yelled. "And WHAT'S wrong with Sasuke?!" Naruto glanced as Sasuke again.
"Can I tell her?" he tried to whisper, but it came out as a giggle. At this, Sasuke's eyes shot open, and he shook his head violently. "Why not…?" Naruto asked, this time managing to whisper.
"Just don't…!" Sasuke hissed back, fighting off the urge to twitch unsuccessfully. Then the boys began to whisper. And through the giggles and the cat-spitting noises, Sakura made out the words 'small-chested' and her own name. Hearing the second phrase, she crossed her arms quickly, and blushed.
"Fine," she said, through gritted teeth. Then she stomped away. Soon, Naruto had gotten control of his giggle fit, and Sasuke was beginning to be able to contain his twitching and cat-spitting noises.
"Why couldn't I tell her?" Naruto asked innocently. "It's not like she doesn't know that she's about as curvy as a can of soup." Sasuke sighed.
"I wouldn't want her to think I'm a Peeping-Tom," Sasuke said.
"But she'd LIKE that, wouldn't she?" Naruto asked, confused. Sasuke shivered.
"Exactly." He shivered again, then looked at the clock. He had time to get into a serious conversation, even though it was with someone as dim-witted as Naruto. ((Sorry Naruto fans! … I should add right now that this next bit was a REAL CONVERSATION that the boys' Sex Ed. class had. (I was in there dusting furniture because the girls' Sex Ed. teacher was absent, and the other teachers made all the girls clean the school since it was the end of the year. I had to PROMISE I wasn't listening. But, naturally, I was.) Anyway, I should probably change the rating of this, but I'll let you tell me. I've seen/heard worse things in PG-13 movies. coughTitaniccough))
"Besides," Sasuke added, sitting back down in his chair. "Girls are REALLY sensitive about that kinda thing."
"Huh?" Naruto looked more confused than he had ever been. Sasuke motioned for him to sit. Naruto hopped up onto Sasuke's section of the desk-table-thing, and sat Indian-style as Sasuke scooted his chair forward so they wouldn't be heard as much. Sasuke rested one elbow on his desk, facing Naruto, which formed a sort of two-person circle-thing. By the look on Sasuke's face, this was going to take a while.
"Y'see Naruto," Sasuke started, suddenly feeling very grown-up. "Girls'--" He motioned to his chest, while making awkward stuttering noises. "--chests," he finally managed to say, all the while losing his mature confidence. "Girls' chests are very important to them. They're sort of like moose and their antlers."
"What?" Naruto asked, making that squinty face. Sasuke turned a little red.
"The bigger the girls' chests are, the more confident and important-feeling the girls are." Seeing absolutely NO connection between breasts and moose, Naruto blinked and shook his head in confusion. Sasuke shook his head in disgust. "You're not gonna make this easy for me, are you?" Then he scanned the classroom for something better. Finding nothing, he cast his eyes downward in despair. He found just what he was looking for, and it had been right (well, not right) under his nose the whole time. His face lit up, but then, since he hadn't gotten completely over his twitching, he shuddered a little.
"Sasuke, you shouldn't twitch and make that face at the same time. It's REALLY creepy," Naruto said, shifting himself around on the desk.
"Anyway Naruto, girls treat their chests as we guys do our--" He motioned vaguely to his lap. Naruto blinked.
"I'm not following, Sasuke," Naruto admitted with a baffled look on his face. "Why do you have to be so imprecise?" ((I know, I know. Not a word Naruto would normally use. But my thesaurus's other words are about twice as long… So you'll just have to deal with it.)) Sasuke looked nervously around the room.
"Dammit Naruto…!" he hissed. "Just try to figure it out…!" He motioned again.
"C'mon Sasuke, just say it-- Oh. Oooooh." Naruto turned bright red. Sasuke, who was REALLY not used to talking about this kind of thing, especially with someone like Naruto.
"Naruto think about it."
"Huh?"
"How would you feel if you had just stepped out of the shower and Sakura was peeking into your window? Then, the next day at school, she said your dick was as big as a double-A battery?"
((This was the part of the class where I had to shove my fist in my mouth to keep from laughing. Only to get very strange looks from the guy I really like.))
Naruto's little mind-chibis did their thing in his head, and then his squinty facial expression softened as he imagined the embarrassment of this. Then he sighed.
"I guess you're right for once, Sasuke," he muttered. "But God!" he yelled, breaking the semi-sympathetic mood. "You have no idea how much I wish I had been you last night!" Sasuke smiled weakly.
"I could say the same thing about you," he said softly. Then Iruka popped his head in the door, smiling widely, and class began.
Kitty: is laughing hysterically Oh God! You have no idea how much I'm missing Sex Ed. right now! I know it's wrong to miss Sex Ed., but that was probably the best class I ever took. It's just sooooooooooooo funny! Not because of the overall tension, it's just the fact that the teachers handed out condoms, then made up FOOL AROUND with them JUST so we could be more comfortable with them!
Sasuke: has finally gotten over twitching/cat spitting You really had ONE PERVERTED TEACHER, didn't you?
Kitty: imagines a chibi Kakashi with 'Make Out Paradise' No, not really. But that, along with an idea my friend had in a hotel room last summer, did inspire me to start writing another Naruto fic.
Naruto: Oh NO! As if THIS story wasn't gross enough… You just HAVE to make another one!
Sakura: not paying any attention to what's going on Hey! I'm hardly in this chapter! How come?!
Kitty: We needed some Naruto/Sasuke bonding. After this chapter, they're gonna be friends, okay? Okay!
Naruto: looks at Sasuke Friend… glomps him
Sasuke: choke gag sputter
Kitty: P.S. I found a really cool Naruto website. I downloaded music videos and both soundtracks from it. It's called Go there to download the soundtrack for free before the people who own the CD rights go in there and make you pay to download it!