Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership of Inuyasha: Sengoku o-Togi Zoushi. I am borrowing it for entertainment purposes only. No money is being made from the writing or reading of this story. Only original characters and situations belong to me.
I Want Tomorrow
©2001-2002 by Kei
I – To Begin Anew
He gazed at his reflection slightly distorted by the dirt marring the mirror's surface. Amber eyes, dull now when the sun had once shone through them; long, silvery-white hair that fell to his waist, tangled and unclean after about a month of not being allowed to wash it; a gaunt face, the edges of his facial bones defined and his usually tan skin sallow from not having eaten in almost as long as he hadn't bathed. He felt so detached from who he knew he really was.
He felt like nothing.
Today he could take a bath, so he stripped out of his white robe and climbed into the prepared tub nearby full of water that still steamed. He barely felt the intense heat and didn't care if he splashed the water all over the floor as he scrubbed himself clean of all the dirt and grime his body had collected over the past four weeks. He was washing himself clean of her.
Of Kikyou.
He hated himself now for ever thinking he loved her and that she returned the feelings. A woman like her wasn't capable of love. She thought of men as playthings without hearts or emotions that were put on the earth to do nothing more than serve her and let her throw them away like broken toys after she used them for her own sick pleasure.
'I was such a fool!' he berated himself mentally, standing up in the tub and wringing out his long, shiny, wet locks. Then he stepped out of the porcelain basin and shook off like the half-dog he was.
"But after today, Inuyasha will not be your fool any longer, Kikyou," he vowed grimly, reaching for his robe and wrapping it around himself. He exited the washroom and walked down the cold stone corridor to his quarters. Once there, he rifled through his dresser drawers until he found the article of clothing he was looking for: his red kimono spun from the fur of a fire rat. He hadn't worn it since the first day he had come to Kikyou's dark palace, back when he was more naïve and less hardened by Kikyou's warped world.
When he met Kikyou for the first time, he was vacationing with his mother outside the Western Lands. The young priestess had seemed so gentle and caring, and reminded Inuyasha of his mother, actually. Maybe that was what had attracted him to her in the first place. He had always admired his mother's sweetness and kindness and had hoped to have a marriage as loving as his parents', which would mean finding a lady like his mom, and Kikyou seemed to fit the mold.
How wrong he was.
Kikyou invited Inuyasha for a visit to her palace, and Inuyasha's mother consented. So, smiling and content, the half-demon had gone with Kikyou, expecting a white castle with green, grassy meadows surrounding it and full of happy, smiling people. What he got when he arrived was the exact opposite.
Kikyou's so-called palace was the dark ruins of what had perhaps been a sparkling castle at one time, and it sat in a black forest of eerie noises and hardly any sunlight. Her servants were wraiths she had subdued with her powers, and Inuyasha swore that his sensitive hearing picked up melancholic cries down the hallways, begging to be freed from this prison. He didn't know that his voice would one day join these.
Inuyasha's first day at Kikyou's palace had been 3 years ago, and he hadn't been able to leave since. But today he was going to. He was fed up with the façade of Kikyou and had just decided to escape. He had never tried before, but figured that nobody would be strong enough to stop him if he was caught.
He slipped into the scarlet kimono and then trotted over to the one window in his room. He flung the shutters open and hopped agilely onto the ledge. A tall, gnarled old tree reached up its bony arms to scrape the overcast sky to his right, and he jumped for it, landing lightly. He shrugged at how simple this was and leapt to the next tree and then the one after that. It wasn't long before he had put many kilometers between himself and Kikyou's castle of despair by way of tree-hopping.
'I don't know if I can go home just yet,' he thought miserably, images of his parents in his head. He could picture his mother crying over her lost only child and his father wrapping his strong arms around the slight woman and comforting her. Inuyasha couldn't help wondering if they hated him, if they thought he had abandoned them when he had really been strangely controlled by Kikyou's mysterious powers. But that had been when he was her main plaything. Since then she had found new toys and he had fallen to the bottom of the toy box, and she was unknowingly loosening her hold on him.
'I'll wait for a little while, build up my strength,' he decided, ears perking when he heard the sounds of laughter coming from nearby. And the air carried on it a gentle scent, an aroma that soothed him while it stimulated him. He wanted to find out whence it came, so he stealthily ventured closer, reminding himself how conspicuous a color red was in a stark green forest in summertime.
Gazing down, he could see a young woman with long, wavy black hair and garbed in red and white robes befitting of a shrine priestess. Inuyasha's sharp sense of smell told him that she was the one emanating the enticing scent. But he felt that he should observe her longer before jumping down there unannounced and startling her.
She laughed, and the sound caressed his ears. It was a joyful, sincere laugh that clearly displayed all her blissful emotions at that moment in time. Inuyasha found himself wishing she would laugh like that with him.
What were these ridiculous feelings welling up inside him? He didn't want to trust another soul after his horrid experience with Kikyou, and here he was, not even knowing this woman or having ever caught sight of her face, but willing to do anything simply to win a smile he'd never seen.
He watched silently a while longer, realizing that the girl was playing some sort of game with unseen companions. While she was poking around a bush on her left, some shrubs growing up near the sturdy wooden shrine building rustled and a small creature with a tousled mop of short, tawny hair poked its head up. Inspecting the childlike being, Inuyasha came to the conclusion that this was a kitsune cub.
Said cub launched itself at the unsuspecting miko, releasing a war cry as it soared through the air. She whirled around as it came flying at her and opened her arms wide. The little fox thudded softly to her chest and she enfolded it, both of them laughing all the while.
"That's no fair!" a pouting child's voice complained as it emerged from the forest, and Inuyasha glanced down to see a small boy with ebony hair and dark eyes accompanied by a girl of similar coloring. Each of them carried a basket filled with various herbs and plants. "You and Shippô get to play while we have to work!" the boy continued.
"Sôta, Shippô-chan is our guest, so he doesn't have to work, and I already did my chores this morning. Would you care to debate about it in front of Grandpa and Mama?" Kagome answered, freeing Shippô, the kitsune cub, from her embrace and turning around to face Sôta. Shippô took up residence on Kagome's shoulder right away, playing absently with strands of her thick hair.
Inuyasha drew in his breath sharply. That girl was the spitting image of Kikyou! And yet…she was so different. Her eyes were a soft grey-blue, not the steely, stormy zinc of Kikyou's, and they were wider, more accepting, more innocent. Her face carried more of a childish appearance than Kikyou's did; it was less calculating, and from what Inuyasha had observed, their personalities were complete opposites.
"Kagome?" a voice piped up, soft and unobtrusive.
"Yes, little sister?" Kagome chirped in reply, approaching the little girl with wide eyes similar to hers, and hair tied loosely back by a white bow.
The smaller female made a motion with her finger that indicated she wanted to whisper something to her older sister. Kagome bent over to listen and Shippô unburdened her shoulder. He and Sôta took the two baskets of herbs inside while the little sister told her secret to Kagome.
Inuyasha inwardly questioned as to what the brat had to be so damn secretive about. He was so caught up in doing this that he didn't notice the pair of blue-grey eyes trained on him, studying him in the shadows of the lush leaves of the tree he was perched in.
"Thank for you for telling me. Now go on inside, Kaede," he vaguely heard Kagome tell her younger sibling. Then he looked back down, startled to meet gazes with the raven-haired priestess.
"It's not very proper to spy on people, tree-borne dog boy," she addressed him in a slightly scolding manner, but her pink lips were upturned a bit, and he knew she wasn't really angry. He figured that she didn't sense any bad vibes from him, which he was glad for.
"Won't you come down, please?" she requested. "You look like you could use some food, and I'd be happy to make you some."
Inuyasha bounded out of the tree and landed right beside her, but she didn't flinch at the impact or his proximity. He eyed her warily, because he knew what a good actress Kikyou had been. He circled Kagome, sniffing her and privately enjoying the heavenly aroma she radiated. But he didn't say a word to her.
Finally, after several moments of this scrutinizing, he stood back, crossed his arms over his chest, and nodded. Kagome took this as a positive answer to her invitation, and she led the way into the house.