Harry Potter, savior of the wizarding world, the boy who lived, if you will, was quite pleased with himself. He had managed, despite clichéd clichédness, to have his own very private scene in the middle of a purely Hermione fan fiction. And it turned out, it was not a scene in which he was racing around the room desperately with Ron, arguing and sobbing in Dumbledores office, or having a strangely relevant dream. In fact, Harry was at the moment reading a very interesting book which had nothing at all to do with Hermiones current situation. The book was getting better by the minute. Now what was it about again? Harry flipped the book over and stared dully at the cover "How To Save Your Friend Who Was Sucked Into the Past" by William Longhorn. Harry was doomed.

"What? Where the hell are we?" Hermione screamed as she woke up with a minor concussion staring at the blurred head of Sirius Black. Black smirked and grabbed the back of Hermiones head roughly and pulled her into a wet, sloppy kiss. Hermione was mortified and stood up quickly. She glanced around the room, face red, cheeks pronounced and glanced back at the now weeping Sirius.

"I just (sob) wanted you to (sob) like me," he ,well, sobbed to Hermione.

Hermione considered cutting off his genitallia before realizing this was the perfect opportunity to …er… do something important and vital to the plot. She swooped down on Sirius and pulled him into her for some Hetero snogging, Sirius/Remus fans cried themselves to sleep that night.

"Master, the Granger girl is falling into our trap," a snide, rat like voice cut through the dreary dungeons in a castle far, far away.

Voldemort looked up from filing his nails.

"What are you on about now Pettigrew?" Voldemort said irritably. He furrowed his eye- the …er… Place where his eyebrows once were.

"How could you forget! I've spent weeks thinking up this plan!" The rat voice was bordering on histarics and the snake-like godly figure glanced up from his perfectly manicured fingers to glare at him.

"Crucio." He replied in the tired, bored voice only he could perfect.

"And, and she took advantage of me! Right after I had knocked her unconscious too. The nerve," Remus listened sympathetically to ALL of Sirius ramblings, feigning interest until Sirius either got bored or passed out.

Hermione thought this a good time as any to enter into the room. Unfortunately for her she banged into someone… or something, big and warm. She looked up only to see…James!

"James!" Hermione exclaimed with as much enthusiasm as possible. She then passed out, something Hermione tends to do a lot.

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT…

Draco Malfoy doing a hula dance.

AND NOW BACK TO THE STORY.

"Didn't something just…happen?" Hermione wondered as she heard a wolf howl in the distance. A strained sort of repressed howl, exactly like the one she had heard in third year. Hermione made all the connections immediately. Lupin… sounds like shooting…shooting with guns… guns kill…And just like that Hermione lost it. Damn… She heard the howl and chased after it. Into the forest, the forest with giant man-eating spiders, dangerous creatures and … bunny rabbits. Hermione passed two rabbits and managed to kill both before making her way in front of the Womping Willow. She entered inside the tree, only to find…

CLIFFHANGER BARHGGG