Lazarus

Kate Beckett and Rick Castle had only been married for a short time when disaster took him away from her. But then came that phone call and everything suddenly got weird. A completely AU story with a dose of imagination.

A/N: I've been fighting with this idea for a while now. So I just wrote it. It starts out pretty dark, but hang in to the end of the first chapter because then it shifts to crazy.

All standard disclaimers Apply.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Kate Beckett- Castle sat on a stool in front of the big mirror in the en suite bathroom off her bedroom. Her long brunette hair was captured in four tight ponytails. Two in the back and one on each side of her head. Eyes bloodshot from past tears and the lack of sleep stared back at her. She slid the large plastic baggie closer to her hand.

She was surprised at the resistance her thick tails of hair put up as she sawed away at them with a sharp pair of scissors. As each one finally was parted from her scalp she put it in the plastic baggie. By the time she had finished cutting loose the last ponytail her hand was near to cramping from the effort.

She then plugged in the beard trimmer with the half inch cutting guard already on it. She ran the noisy appliance across her head several times until she had reached a consistent overall look. She set the shaver on the counter as she stood up.

With her hand she swept up the loose hair from the sink, and the countertop, into the small trash can she held in her other hand. She couldn't help but think that it was an appropriate metaphor for her life going forward. Some would think she'd had a breakdown, but she didn't care. She had her reasons.

She sealed up the baggie holding about eighty percent of the hair she had on her head just minutes ago. She would drop it off at a place she knew that took hair donations for kids dealing with cancer on her way to work.

She tossed the baggie on the bed as she finished getting dressed for the precinct. This would be the first time she'd be back at work since… Castle's accident.

Had it really only been two weeks since her life went to shit. The only reason she was going back into work now was because she couldn't stand to just mope around the loft anymore. She was frustrated, hurt, angry, and in pain. And there was nothing she could do about it. It had been such a stupid way to die.

He had left the precinct a little early to pick up some special steaks he'd ordered from a 'guy he knows' that he claimed would be the best she'd ever eaten. She had just smiled as she sent him on his way. She told him she'd make something special for dessert and kissed him. That was the last she time she saw him.

She had seen the news report of the accident on the television, but hadn't known he'd been a part of it until she got the visit from the highway patrol. If she'd had anything in her stomach when they informed her, she would have thrown up on the trooper's shoes.

He'd been just entering a tunnel underpass when a couple of cars went out of control which caused a chain reaction, high speed multiple crash incident. Unfortunately, an over loaded eighteen wheeler was next to Castle when everything went catastrophic. The big rig wound up jack knifing and flipped over onto Rick's Ferrari. The amazing part of the whole incident was that for all the chaos and fender smashing that had gone on. Castle had been the only fatality. Everyone else, belted into their hard topped vehicles had survived. Rick in his Ferrari convertible with a multi ton eighteen wheeler sitting on top of it was the only one who perished.

The memory, as it always did, drew a hot tear to her eye. It had been a closed casket funeral because there was no way to separate Rick from his sports car. They had become as one. They managed to scoop out a few pounds of flesh and bone which they summarily cremated and placed the remains in a super hero lunch box which was placed in the ornate coffin.

The ride in the elevator to the homicide floor, for the first time, brought her discomfort. She knew that she deserved her friends' and comrades' pity but she didn't want it. The loss of Castle would never be far from her mind, but she didn't want to be reminded of it every five minutes. She needed to work to occupy her every day thoughts and actions.

Kate had called Captain Gates to let he know she'd be coming in today. Gates thought that it might still be too soon for her to come back, but the woman realized that Kate needed something to keep her from falling apart so the Captain didn't push.

The doors slid open with their typical ding and she was suddenly exposed to the floor that was more her home than her old apartment had been. It hadn't been until she moved into the loft that she called someplace besides the precinct her home. Not since she left the place she grew up.

She stepped out and immediately noticed her 'boys' Esposito and Ryan staring at her. She gave them a nod as she moved toward her desk.

"Hey, Beckett. It's nice to see you back." Esposito called out. "But what the hell did you do to your hair?"

She had to clench her fists so as not to brush her hand through her short buzzed head. "I cut it." She responded blandly.

"But, all of it?" Ryan joined in.

She gave the two of them a hard stare for a couple of moments, then sat down in her chair. "I don't need it anymore."

Strangely enough, Kate thought that her boys actually got it. Her hair had become a dominant feature of her appearance. The long flowing waves and curls constantly drew Castle's hands to them as they lay in bed making love. In their time together her hair had essentially become Castle's to do with as he pleased. Even if it was only to put his lips on it when he kissed her head.

When they had first met, she wore her hair short for a couple of reasons. As a woman in a position still dominated by men, it gave her a more serious look. Also, it was convenient for someone who didn't have a lot of time to spend on her appearance.

That attitude changed the more she got to know Castle, and she began to allow her femininity to show more. She'd never admitted it to him, but she grew her hair out mostly for Castle.

Now he was gone, and she no longer needed the long locks to please and occupy her man. No need to spend the time and effort for nothing.

She spent a few minutes booting up her computer. She knew they wanted to comfort her somehow. Offer their condolences again, but they knew she didn't want to be reminded once more of her loss. They had been there for her at the funeral.

Without taking her gaze away from her screen she spoke. "So, what are you guys working on right now?"

Ryan responded. "We closed our latest case yesterday, and we haven't been assigned anything fresh just yet so, per Gate's orders, we are going through some cold cases."

Kate just nodded. "Sounds good. It will give me a chance to get back into the swing of things."

Suddenly there was a voice coming from several feet away. "Detective Beckett, may I see you in my office?"

"Yes sir." Kate stood and moved quickly to the captain's office.

"Sit down Detective." Kate sat. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine, sir."

"I don't believe that for a second, Kate. I may not come off as the most sympathetic individual, but I do have a husband that I love very much and I would be devastated if I lost him."

Kate folded her hands together. "Oh make no mistake sir, I am devastated. But I can no longer sit at home feeling sorry for myself. It just makes it worse. I need to have something else to focus on. I need to work."

Captain Gates just nodded. "Okay Detective, you can go back to your desk. I'm confident you'll have a new case soon. If you need anything please let me know."

She knew that Gates was curious as to her severe haircut, but wouldn't bring it up. She probably assumed it was a consequence of a breakdown of one sort or the other. It wasn't. It had been for Castle and he was now gone. It was also a deliberate action to let any man who had any thoughts of offering her their 'personal' condolences and comfort to not bother.

It had made her flesh crawl when more than one former so-called friend of Castle's had made poorly disguised passes at her at the funeral. She hoped the shocking new look would act as a deterrent. She was tired of putting dicks in their place.

Castle was her one and done, and she had no interest in any other man's advances. They say time heals all wounds but she doubted she had that much time left on this earth.

Kate stood up. "Thank you sir." She left the office quickly and returned to the refuge of her desk.

She hadn't had the time to warm her bottom when Esposito held up a slip of paper. "We've got a case." He said.

"Good." Kate stood back up. "Give me the address." Espo fired off the information. She jotted it down on a post it.

It felt 'wrong' to get into her cruiser and not have Castle slide in the passenger side. She bit down on her bottom lip. She wasn't going to cry. She was back on the job and she didn't have time to feel sorry for herself anymore. She took a deep breath and pulled out of the precinct garage.

As it turned out, the crime scene wasn't all that far from the precinct. It only took about fifteen minutes through Manhattan traffic to get there. Espo and Ryan were already out of their vehicle and were talking to a couple of uniforms who were on site. She saw that 'the boys' directed the uniforms to begin a canvas so she walked directly over to where she saw Lanie bent over the body.

"So what do we have here, Lanie?" Kate stood behind her.

"Kate! What are you doing back already?" The M.E. whirled around and her mouth dropped open when they saw each other.

Beckett ignored her shocked stare and tried to act like it was just a regular body drop, which it was. "Did you find any I. D.?"

Lanie stood up. "Girlfriend, why are you back to work already? And why in heaven do you look like a marine recruit?" Her friend reached up and touched her buzzed head.

Kate rolled her eyes. "Do you or don't you have any information for me?"

"Oh no, girl. You first." Lanie frowned at her. "I know you're still hurting Kate, but why the new look? You have a psychotic break or something?" That was classic Lanie Parish, no filter.

Kate glared at her friend. "No, I just want to be left alone for a while, that's all."

Lanie allowed herself a slight shrug. "Well, that haircut will probably do the trick for more than just a while." Lanie then tapped her chin with her finger. "Or maybe not."

Kate closed her eyes briefly, then drew a big breath. "Just tell me what you know… about the victim."

Lanie knelt back down next to the body. "Okay, I'm sorry if I came on too strong, but you and I are going to talk about this." Lanie picked up her clipboard. "The victim is Roselee Martin. According to her license, she's forty two, lives about twelve blocks from here. There's a picture of what appears to be a husband and a couple of kids. Fairly recent from the looks of it." Lanie handed Kate the wallet that contained the license.

"She wasn't robbed. There's thirty six bucks still here. She have any jewelry?" Kate handed the wallet back to Lanie. She'd get it soon enough.

Lanie held up the left hand. "A wedding ring, and a single gold chain necklace."

Kate frowned. "C.O.D.?"

Lanie frowned back. "Not sure. There are no physical marks on her, and no wounds. I'll have to wait until I get her on the table before I can venture any sort of guess."

Beckett nodded. "Okay, we'll pick this up once we get back from the canvas."

Kate turned to walk away when Lanie grabbed her pant leg. "Why don't you drop down to the morgue when you get done with whatever you need to do here? I think we need to talk."

Beckett gave Lanie a bland stare. "No we don't." She began to walk toward Ryan and Espo. "Call me with any results you come up with."

Lanie Parish was worried about her friend.

Kate was filling out her murder board when Espo and Ryan came back from the canvas. She had slipped by a traffic back up and had beaten them back to the station by several minutes.

Apparently no one in the surrounding apartments and stores was familiar with Roselee Martin. Which was only slightly surprising given she lived not too far from the scene. But then it wasn't unusual for tenets in the same building to suddenly have no knowledge of a murder victim found outside their doors. Nobody saw anything, nobody wanted to get involved.

She looked up at her partners. "Any luck?"

They each shook their heads in frustration. "It's amazing how little people in this town actually see anything. It's a miracle they remember how to get home every night." Espo griped.

Kate just turned back to the white board, frowning at how little was marked on it. Of course they couldn't build much of a timeline until Lanie gave them the particulars to get them started. So she got up and walked toward the elevator.

"Where are you going now?" Espo asked.

"I'm going to the morgue to see what Lanie has for us. Her name was Roselee Martin and she lived about 12 blocks from the crime scene. See what sort of an electronic footprint she had. I'll bring back whatever Lanie can release to us."

They just nodded as the elevator door closed on her.

When Kate walked into the morgue Dr. Parish was just pulling off her gloves and smock. Lanie pointed to a purse sitting on a different table.

"All her stuff is in the purse, bagged and tagged. Including her ring and necklace. There were no fingerprints except hers on anything."

Kate frowned. "That's just great. You find anything helpful?"

Lanie raised a brow at her manikin like friend. "I've found a suspicious needle mark in her back. It wasn't obvious at first since it had been shoved through her dress and into her back."

Kate raised a brow. "And?"

"And I'm running a tox screen. I hope to have an answer as to what might have been injected into Mrs. Martin in an hour or two. I'll let you know."

Kate nodded. "Okay, thanks." She turned to leave.

"Whoa there girl, you're not getting away that easily." Lanie came over and placed her hand on Beckett's arm. "How are you holding up? I've tried to get hold of you but you weren't answering your phone, nor returned your messages."

Kate stood silently for several moments, then allowed herself a deep sigh. "I'm sorry, Lanie. I just wasn't able to deal… with anything more. I needed to hide for a while."

Lanie was hurting for her friend. "That's completely understandable. But you know I'd be there for you in any capacity you needed girl. I would have even volunteered to cut your hair for you."

Kate gave her friend a half smile. "I know. But I spent so much time trying to keep Martha and Alexis functional that I didn't have the time to feel for myself. By the time they were back to where they could deal with Rick's loss. I needed some time for myself… to just fall apart, before I could put what was left of me back together."

Lanie rubbed Lanie's arm. "Oh honey, I can't imagine what you've had to go through."

Kate shook her head slowly. "No you can't. I mean no offense Lane, but you still have both your parents and haven't even met the love of your life yet. Let alone have lost him."

Kate could see that she had stung her friend with her words. But it was true.

"Just hope you never have to go through what I have these past couple weeks."

"Oh honey!" Lanie moved quickly and threw her arms around Kate and hugged her. Tears fell from the M.E.s eyes. "I may not know what hell you've been put through, but just know, that whatever you may need, I'm here for you. Day or night."

Kate brushed back a lone tear. "I know you are. Thanks Lanie, you are a good friend."

She disentangled herself from her teary friend and grabbed the purse that was sitting on the nearby table. "Thanks, and let me know as soon as you can when you establish the C.O.D."

Lanie just nodded as her broken friend fled from her work shop.

Kate stepped back onto the homicide floor where she was immediately surrounded by Ryan and Esposito.

"What'd you get?"

She handed the purse over to Ryan who had put his gloves on. Kate peeled off her gloves and moved over to her desk. Letting herself fall into it.

"Lanie found a needle mark in the victim's back. She running a full tox screen so hopefully we'll have some answers soon."

Ryan pulled out the driver's license. "Well, here's the address we need. It matches the one we suspected after checking the name against possible addresses."

Espo piped in. "Did you know that there are eleven Roselee Martin's in the greater New York, but only one within 12 blocks of the murder scene."

Kate raised her brow. "So it was easy enough for even you Javi, to locate her residence?"

He scowled at her. Ryan stepped between them. "So, are you going to go and make the notification in person?"

Kate began to nod her head. Bringing the family the tragic news was something she and Castle often did together. It was going to feel 'wrong' not having him there beside her when she delivered the bad news. Before she could confirm her decision her phone rang.

"Beckett."

"Detective, I'm glad I was able to get a hold of you. We really need to talk."

The voice sounded familiar, but she couldn't quite place it. "Who is this?"

A quiet chuckle greeted her question. "I believe you know me best as Jackson."

Kate's eyes went wide as she turned away from her partners and moved several steps away.

"What do you want?" The tone of her response wouldn't have been considered friendly.

"As I said, we need to talk. And we need to talk very soon."

Kate glared at her phone. She never liked Castle's sperm donor father whom she knew best as Jackson Hunt, but he'd used other names with her also. None had been his real name. She wondered if he even knew what his real name was.

"So talk."

"Not over an open phone. We need to meet."

Kate frowned. "When?"

"As soon as possible. Now would be best."

"Where?"

"There's an abandoned warehouse on 146th and Brandon. Take the alley opposite the small parking lot. I will unlock the side door in exactly thirty three minutes from now. I'll leave it unlocked for ten minutes. If you don't make it in time, I'll have to reconsider my decision."

Kate glanced down at her father's watch, which she still wore on her left hand. "I'll be there."

She looked up to see her partners giving her a strange look. She gave them an apologetic smile. "Sorry guys, I've got something I have to do, right now. You two will have to visit the Martin's and make the notification."

She moved quickly toward the elevator. "I'll call you as soon as I can and let you know when I'll be back."

Before either of the boys could respond she was in the elevator and on her way out.

She made it to her destination with five minutes to spare, and she only had to use her 'lights' twice to get around a couple of traffic jams.

She got out of her cruiser and stepped quickly into the alley that Jackson had indicated. She watched the time being displayed on her wrist. If their time pieces were synced close enough, the door she had just reached would be unlocked. She reached and twisted the rusty knob. It was.

She entered the large empty space. The light that came through the high bank of windows gave the place a twilight type feel. She looked around. Finally, leaning against a wall to her right was the shadowy form of a large man. His white hair shone with the reflected light from on high.

She walked quickly toward him.

"Okay, I'm here. What's this all about?"

He studied her for several moments. "Nice haircut."

She stared at him. "I like it. It's easy to take care of." She put her fists on her hips. "You wanted to see me. You wanted to talk, so talk. Why am I here?"

"I thought you should know… Richard's alive."

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

A/N: And away we go.

All Readers are Appreciated, Review if you wish.