Chapter II: Late 1981-1983: The New Deal
(Author's note: The release date of Donkey KongI put in the story is most likely off. I don't know what month it came out in, all I know is that it came out in 1981)
Pauline's death was an eye-opening experience for Mario that had his guilt level brought up high. That's why he was apologizing to me so much after what happened. It made him want to try even harder than he already did to change his ways, and in good timing too. On December 20th, a young videogame creator from Nintendo Of America, out of last-minute pressure, chose to make a game based on Mario's tragedy, which actually made news all across Brooklyn. He came to our house one day to propose the idea to us (mainly Mario), and Mario was initially hesitant. I, on the other hand, already made up my mind. Fuck this punk. Kick him out, I thought, he's only using your tragedy for profits. I was really angry that he wanted to pitch a game about Pauline's incident.
"I dunno", said Mario softly, "I'll think about it."
With that, Miyamoto gave Mario until the next day to come up with a decision. I told Mario, "What do you think you're doing!"
"What?", Mario asked, almost innocently. "I just told him that I'd think about it."
"Well, I hope you don't do it", I said, "I think it would be a disgrace to base a game off of your own trauma!"
"If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times already", replied Mario, a little annoyed. "I'm a grown-ass man and I can handle my own buisiness. Besides, I need to get paid the clean way and leave this hustling behind."
That was it. I just backed off and let him call the shots. The next day, Mario called up Nintendo Of America and gave them the green light to turn his sad experience into a videogame. I thought to myself, what a sellout. I remembered how he used to say how much he loved and cared for her all the time. I felt that if he really loved and cared about her, even after her death, he would'nt let the game creator go through with this. Before he let Nintendo do this, he set one condition, that the "Pauline character" does'nt die at the end. After the phone call, he ran to me saying, "It's all set. They want to schedule it for December 23rd and get it done as quickly as possible. I'll be getting $2500 for my involvement in the game, and you can be in it too, if you want. Whad'dya say, li'l bro?"
I scowled and yelled, "Fuck that game! I don't want no part of this crap! You do a game about a deceased female you cared about? That's disrespect! I truly think you never loved that girl. You did'nt even shed a tear for her at her funeral, man!"
"I was just trying to be strong for her", replied Mario, "She would've wanted that in me, being the kind of person she was."
"Oh, bullshit!", I blurted out, "That's a lie! I don't think you've changed all that much."
I just walked away from him back into my room in a rage. As I left, Mario shot a look at me like, "What the hell is his problem?"
It was all scheduled. We had to fly out to Los Angeles to get this bullshit game done. It may seem like I'm hating on Mario and I'm making it seem like I was the angel in the end, but everything but trying to be "the good one" was true. It took 3 days to complete it. The game was put out on December 26th, and it wound up being a hit. Mario took home some hefty cash for it, and this is how "Mario Mania" got off to a good start. I was already annoyed enough by him being successful off of his girlfriend's death, but what really pissed me off is when he started getting cocky about it the year after.
It's March 1982 and Mario has been called to a meeting by Nintendo Of America to discuss a possibility of having his very own title. He invited me to this meeting too. I did'nt really want to go, because I was still sour about his last decision, but I went anyways. Word was, they wanted me to be in on this as well. The employees at Nintendo Of America treated Mario like the Mecca of videogames and did whatever he told them to do. Mario started getting special priveliges such as his patented "One Minute Of Gloating" session where Mario would use me and my rapping skills and make me rap and singabout how good his dumb Donkey Kong game was for a whole fucking minute to him and the employees before every meeting. Even the head honcho at Nintendo Of America was in on all the ass-kissing going on! But anyways, on with the meeting. As I said previously, Mario was offered his own title, and he agreed, but with one condition that I get in the game too.
"I'm trying to stay close to my brother", said Mario of adding me in the game, "and this is one way I can strengthen things up between him and I. We've had some hard times together, and anything I do, I want my brother right there backing me up."
Nintendo agreed, and that's how our first true title, Mario Bros., started. Mario started bragging during the meeting, "Man, the arcade industry is booming right now. If you thought Donkey Kong sold well, think of how this would be and I'm in it! You should put in the game info that I was the 'jumpman' character in Donkey Kong. I don't want anybody to forget who I am."
"OK, we'll do it", said the Nintendo boss.
My jaw dropped to the ground like a cartoon character. I thought, is the boss to this company on crack or something? Aren't you going to get Mario to be more humble about his sucess? I had an idea that could help what I was really trying to be for my future.
"Hey, I got an idea", I blurted out to the boss. "On the commercials, how about we get diverse and have me rap about the game? I was just thinking, because of how big rap is getting today, we can touch bases with all sorts of people. What do you think of that?"
The boss gave me a look like he was offended about what I said, and it seemed like he was. He replied, "I think it's garbage. Pure garbage. If we put songs about the game on the commercials, it will be anything but rap music. Besides, that doesn't fit with you guys' image anyway. C'mon, you 2 don't wear big rope gold chains and stand in B-Boy stances, and you 2 don't have bad grammar when you talk. What you're suggesting is an idea that's going to ruin this game before it even starts, so it is out of the question."
Disgusted, I looked at Mario, pleading, "Mario, talk to this guy!" He did'nt even back me up. Instead of supporting me like I was doing for him to do this game together, he said, "He's right, man. We don't want to lose any money on this deal. We did grow up with rap music, but maybe the world won't be ready for a bunch of rapping plumbers. It would look stupid anyways."
Desperately, I tried one last time to mix our game with rap culture and asked if we could at least breakdance in the commercials, and the boss gave me a strong, "HELL NO!" Well, hey. This was 1982 and rap music was'nt as mainstream as it is now. After that, I still agreed to do the game, but I did'nt want to hear shit else from the boss, but with good reason (and no, not because of the whole rap thing either). During the last meetings before we started working on the game in July, he would turn down most of my suggestions for the game and then agree with Mario with almost all of his. And my suggestions did'nt even have anything to do with rap! It seemed like anybody who was'nt rolling with Nintendo big time were nobodies in their eyes, because I never done a game with them. They saw Mario's success in 1981 with Donkey Kong and see more money symbols in their eyes with the possibility of his own title. Maybe that's why everyone treated him like he was "his highness", because they felt that he could rake in more cash for them and make them the #1 gaming company in the whole world. But whatever it was, it was messing with Mario in a major way. Even though he was trying real hard not to hurt me again, he did grow increasingly cockier and cockier by the months.
The game was planned for an October 1982 release, but one thing kept Mario from following up on his release; he started getting increasingly fat, and according to his doctor, was in danger of heart attack due to hypertension. Success started getting to Mario by August while making Mario Bros. and he started growing increasingly depressed. We tried to help him, but he would'nt tell us why he was always sad. He started keeping to himself a lot and has even lost sleep over it. He got to a point to where he would have recurring dreams in his sleep about Pauline dying and him making money off of her misfortune. The guilt had finally set in after all these months for making money off of her. He often wanted to be alone, and had even ordered the staff to stop treating him like royalty in their offices. His depression often linked to eating as a way to get his mind off of Pauline as well as all the friction he caused between our family years back. Eventually, in the middle of August, he just refused to work altogether. And because of this, the rescheduled December 19th release date was yet again pushed back to an April 1983 release.
The boss was growing impatient with Mario, and one day finally put his foot down. In one tense meeting, he told Mario, "I'm sick and tired of your moping. You should be happy, you're on your way to being rich! I know sucess has gotten to you, but you gotta snap out of this before you cause us to can this game for good. If we have to push the release date back one more time, we might just terminate this deal because of your insubordinate behavior. Let's get one thing straight: I am tired of you playing around! You're getting so bad, that if I had to kick you in your nuts to get you to work that I would. Stop playing around and let's finish this game! Do you understand me?"
What the boss said set Mario off, and he went back to being the hot-head he used to be. He pounded his fists on the table, rose out of his chair and bellowed, "I FUCKING MADE Y'ALL! I made you motherfuckers, and you have the audacity to speak to me like that? Y'all were'nt SHIT when you started out in the 70's with y'all wack-ass games. Y'all were'nt SHIT in 1980 with that stupid Popeye game y'all came out with. And without me, you'd probably would've been the worst company in the videogame industry now. I made y'all sorry-ass nobodies...remember that! TELL EVERYBODY!"
After his little temper tantrum, he punched the wall and knocked a potted plant off of a secretary's desk and left. I rushed out of the boss' office to try to calm Mario down. As I reached him at the hallways on his way out the door, I saw he was starting to hunch over, cluching his side. He went from breathing heavily to wheezing for air, and then he collapsed on the ground. His last rage got to his heart from all the hypertension he was suffering, and I called in for an ambulance to come pick him up.
When his doctor came back with his report of my brother's condition, he told me he is suffering from depression associated with an eating disorder. Mario had to go back to anger management to calm himself down as well as take anti-depressants prescribed by his doctor. Not only that, but he had to take some more medicine to help his high blood pressure problem. The doctor also asked me to do one thing I knew I would'nt be able to get away with; put him on a strict diet. I tried my best the morning after the "blowup", but without success. In our new apartment, he made some pancakes for himself before going into another Nintendo meeting about his attitude. Breakfast may be the most important time of the day, but it is certainly the worst time to piss off Mario in a day. When he finished cooking, he reached over for the butter after I was using it for my pancakes, but I snatched it away from him swiftly saying, "Remember what your doctor said, no more fatty foods for at least a month, and that goes for butter."
He grabbed my hand and twisted my wrist hard until I let go of the tub of butter spread. Then as I tried to take it away from him again, he smacked my hand with a butter knife, and luckly it was just that type of knife, because he would've cut me over some stupid condiment. My last attempt in taking the tub of butter from him, I shouldnt've even wasted my time trying. He twisted my wrist again as I reached out, and then taunted me by dipping into the tub of butter with his middle finger and then eating it all off while flipping me off. I had enough of his attitude and I lost it. I smacked the butter off of the table and then gave him a chokehold. He was struggling for a while, and then gave up saying, "OK, you got me, you got me! Let me go now! I'm done fucking with you! Let me go before you kill me!"
I pushed him away from me, saying, "Killing you was something I should've done a long time ago, motherfucker." Mario looked at me funny for a minute, and then started laughing.
"Don't push me, bro", I warned him, lava hot with anger, "I'll beat your ass if you don't stop messing with me."
Mario mocked me, but I guess he did'nt know that I was'nt playing around. I was as serious as his heart attack he suffered a day earlier. To show him I meant business, I kicked him hard on his side and then grabbed Mario by his shirt. My object was not to actually whup his ass, but to show him that I was serious and to shake him up a little. I was done reasoning with words, so I had to physically threaten him in order to keep him in line.
"Relax, man. I was just...", Mario said calmly before I cut him off.
"Shut your mouth", I interrupted, "You always think that people are playing with you! You find everything funny and never take things seriously. I am done playing peacemaker for you, so if you get your act together and stop playing games with me, so help me god, I will beat your ass until you've lost enough blood to fill a blood bank! Do you hear me!"
After my tirade, he straightened up and apologized, finishing his breakfast quickly so that he would'nt be late for the meeting. He did'nt say anything else after my very own explosion. There was just an awkward silence between the 2 of us that he started getting uncomfortable with. He'd start asking me questions and I'd start answering them shortly, as if I wasn't interested in what he had to say. He cleaned up and then rushed out of the door.
Months has passed and Mario managed to lose some weight and do a little better with his blood pressure, but unfortunately, his attitude stayed the same. In meetings, we'd have brainstorming sessions and most of my ideas still get turned down as Mario's are more excepted. Every time my idea got turned down, Mario would act his shoe size instead of his age and point at me, screaming out "HA-HAAAA!". If that was'nt enough to keep himself amused, he would quietly snicker to himself, trying to hold in his laughter every time the boss gave me some not-so-constructive criticism for my ideas of our game, after the boss would tell Mario to keep his mouth shut, of course. He was as tired of his juvenile drivel as I was. Mario was just as childish as he could be from every aspect of business. He'd play with a couple of GI-Joe action figures during meetings sometimes as if he was telling the boss that he could be doing something more important than the meeting, or even pull pranks on me when I least expect it. He once put a sign on my back saying "Please Smack The Shit Out Of Me Because I Am Bad At Brainstorming".
Everybody working at Nintendo would either smack me upside the head or bitch-slap me to the ground when I was'nt looking and then break out into hysterical laughter. Meanwhile, my quest for the rap world was'nt going so great. I honestly had no desire to be in videogames, although years later I started getting into it. I sent my demo to various record companies, and none of them wanted to take a chance on me, because of what I rapped about. I rapped for my friends one day, and they all looked at me like I was on drugs.
They were going, "Man, you're wack. You can't MC like a lot of these young cats these days!All you rap about is breaking people's neck and then digging up graves for them, which your fake-ass probably don't even do. You're garbage. If clubs played your music, you'd ruin the party atmosphere and then start a big riot. Now get out of our faces before we jump your sorry ass."
I lost my cool-points with those people because of my angry music, not to mention I never got my record deal. So, I decided to call it quits for my rap dream and concentrate more on making the Mario Bros. game. Don't get it twisted, though; I was still breakdancing on my free time with my boys and listening to my local radio station for the latest tracks. It was finally April of 1983, and the game dropped on the 15th. Not only were the arcade version doing very well, but the home console sale of the game went through the roof! It was one of the #1 selling games of 1983.
There was one particular thing about promoting this game Mario did'nt like at all; the commercial of this game did'nt have us in it! We wanted to be in the commercial, but the boss declined that, and instead, took 2 no-named, overweight actors that did'nt even look a thing like us, and had them singing a corny-ass song about the game. I did'nt like it either, but I did'nt make a big deal out of it. When the screening of the commercial in our office took place, Mario tried to make an effort to not attend, but was eventually forced to anyways.When one of those dudes on the screen that was supposedly me said, "Mario, where are you!", Mario jumped up and then angrily switched off the TV. The boss said, "What did you do that for?"
He snapped back, "You ruined the most important kind of promotion with that commercial! Why did you hire those 2 fat stuttering fucks instead of Luigi and I?"
"Look, we already discussed this yesterday", replied the boss, "that you 2 only belong in the game. We don't want to blow you up so big that you make your own appearance in anything but your games just yet. Wait a few years, and then we'll get big enough to get to that level! I don't think you 2 are ready for that level yet, especially you, Mario."
"Why are you singling me out?", yelped Mario.
"Your maturity is'nt good enough to handle top-level superstar status, Mario!", the boss shot back. "If you want to be an instant celebrity, you have to show more humiliation and own up to your responsibilities!"
Once again, the boss struck a nerve on Mario, as Mario stormed out of the office, shouting out, "Fuck Nintendo! I'm going to Electronic Arts, you bitches!", and slammed the door hard. It turns out that Mario's threat to quit Nintendo and be Electronic Arts' mascot instead was true. It was being finalized in late August after some long months of negotiating, and I had to try to keep him from going to them.
Coming next: Chapter III: Late 1983-1984: The Market Crash