Disclaimer: The series Inuyasha: Sengoku o-Togi Zoushi and its characters, events, situations, and locales do not belong to me in any way, shape, or form. This is a work of fanfiction and was written for entertainment purposes only. No profits are made from the writing or reading of this story. Only original characters and situations are © copyrighted by me.
I Want Tomorrow
©2004 by Kei
X – Welcome Home
Kagome hadn't had time before to truly absorb, register, and contemplate Kikyou's words, but now the revelation from her evil twin seeped into her mind, poisoning her thoughts, polluting and dissolving her consciousness like a virulent toxin. She stared into Inuyasha's bewildered topaz eyes, not speaking as she knelt in the mud, in the abating rain.
"You're such a fool, sister! That pitiable half-breed was my puppet! All his love, kindness, concern—a fraud! Only through my machinations did he act so. Sooth, the dog cares for no one, you least of all!"
After that, only Kikyou's cruel, foul cackling rang in Kagome's head. But she understood now why Kikyou had laughed at her. She was a fool! She was! She had actually believed in Inuyasha's feelings for her, though they had spent little more than a week in each other's company.
She realized now how idiotic it sounded, and she laughed. It caused even more blood to leak from the four deep gashes on her abdomen, but she didn't care: she hardly felt it. She crossed her arms over her middle, gripping her aching sides as she laughed harder. Tears coursed cool and quick down her flushed cheeks, and she continued laughing.
Shippô and the rather befuddled Inuyasha could do no more than stand back and watch Kagome. She was the picture of madness, down on her knees in the middle of the wet, muddy courtyard, with her head thrown back and her red mouth wide open as she emitted high, choked, haunting giggles. Her eyes stared straight up at the sky as tears poured torrentially from the empty silver-blue orbs.
Clutching her sides even tighter, Kagome slowly bent forward at the waist, still laughing. When the pain in her stomach blinded her and more blood gushed from her wounds, spilling in profusion over her arms and legs, Kagome lost her awareness utterly; she went numb in mind, body, and soul. She was awake, but not cognizant at all. She did not notice when her laughs transformed into agonized, wracking sobs; nor did she feel it when her forehead touched the murky, swampy soil between her knees and her sweat- and rain-matted hair fell in a tangled black curtain around her florid face.
When oblivion came to the threshold of her mind, she lovingly embraced it, begging it to stay with her there forever.
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After Kagome lost consciousness, Shippô darted over and started beating furiously on Inuyasha's legs, wailing at the hanyou and demanding to know what he'd done to Kagome. Inuyasha ignored the emotional kitsune pummeling him and tried to puzzle out what exactly had occurred between now and the moment he had left this wretched castle a few days before. It was like viewing someone else's memories, for he felt completely detached from everything he'd said and done. He had thought he was in control, but Kikyou had been the one commanding all his actions.
He looked down at Kagome's lifeless figure. She had been a kind, caring companion for him, and the entire time he had been leading her to her doom. He could barely withstand the horrid guilt swelling inside him. That lovely girl, possessing a will matching his own, had fought her twin sister and nearly died for it.
'Because I mighta already killed her,' he thought, bending down and grasping her pallid hand in his. Blood pumped weakly through her veins; he felt the faint throb of her heartbeat in her fingertips.
Very slowly and carefully, Inuyasha gathered Kagome into his arms, treating her as delicately as if she were made of glass.
"Stop beatin' me, ya brainless whelp, and come on!" he barked at Shippô, who immediately collected Kagome's pack, bow, and quiver before clambering up and nestling on Inuyasha's shoulder, from where he gazed fretfully down at Kagome's mud-splattered face.
His passengers, as it were, secure, Inuyasha leaped agilely over the courtyard walls. On the other side, he sniffed the air to get a sense of the direction he wanted. Then he took off, soaring over the treetops, startling flocks of birds into flight. He hoped Kagome lasted long enough for them to reach his true home, where a healer could look after her.
After an hour of such swift traveling, he stopped in front of a tremendous fortress, the home of his father. Guards at the front gate moved to bar his way, but when they recognized him as the young Lord Inuyasha, they scurried about frantically to admit him. He dashed to the building he remembered as being the healer's quarters, kicking in the frail door and ordering the surprised old woman to see to the wounded, half-dead creature in his arms.
The healer, for all that Inuyasha's abrupt appearance had startled her, was a spry old lady, and she directed him to leave her to her work until he was summoned. It would do no good, she told him, for him to putter about aimlessly, worrying over Kagome and getting in the way as the crone did her best to tend the unconscious girl. Shippô remained silent the entire time, not arguing when Inuyasha stormed from the healer's room with the kitsune still on his shoulder. Shippô had deposited Kagome's belongings into the healer's care as well.
"My darling boy!" a woman's mellifluous voice exclaimed from across the way. Inuyasha looked up to see his mother scuttling forward, daintily lifting the front of her kimono to allow her legs slightly more room to run. Her ladies-in-waiting clucked like hens at each other and did their best to keep up with their Lady Machi.
"Oh, they told me you had returned! I knew you would!" Lady Machi rejoiced, flinging her arms about her son without reserve. Inuyasha hugged her back fiercely, realizing how much he had missed his fragilely human, loving mother. She kissed and embraced him for fully five minutes, ignoring the dampness and dirt his kimono transferred to hers. She cuddled Shippô and congratulated him on what a brave child he had been, already winning his affection for all time.
"I am certain Shippô will get on famously with Rin," Lady Machi said fondly, setting Shippô back on Inuyasha's shoulder.
"Who's Rin?" Shippô inquired suspiciously.
"Sesshômaru's close companion," Lady Machi explained.
"Who's Sesshômaru?" Shippô asked.
"My Inuyasha's older brother," Lady Machi answered simply.
"Half-brother," Inuyasha corrected gruffly, frowning deeply at the thought of his father's firstborn.
"I'm afraid they don't get along well," Lady Machi whispered conspiratorially to Shippô. "Very intense sibling rivalry, you see."
"Ah," Shippô said, nodding sagely.
"I can hear ya, Mother," Inuyasha interjected sulkily. Lady Machi giggled quietly behind one pale, delicate hand. All of a sudden her visage cleared, her mirth replaced with soft relief. Inuyasha knew that, for all the glee his mother displayed at his return, inside she had been twisted in knots for years, worried for her beloved only child.
"Come, I am sure your honorable father will be pleased to see you," Lady Machi told him, her faint smile just the merest whisper of her bottomless love and affection for her husband. She turned and began walking back inside the main building, hurriedly followed by her chattering ladies-in-waiting.
"Is Kagome all right?" Shippô asked suddenly, his grip tightening anxiously on Inuyasha's kimono.
Inuyasha gazed expressionlessly at the small structure of the healer's quarters in which Kagome lay still as dead.
"I dunno," he muttered, stalking after his mother's gaggle of ladies.
His father's home was as he remembered it: clean, quiet, and orderly. No décor cluttered any of the structure; no prized possessions were displayed. It wasn't long before the group arrived at the space in which knelt, on a large silk pillow on a low platform, the demon Lord Kin, Inuyasha's father. Also present were Sesshômaru, his flunky Jaken, and his orphan companion Rin. Jaken was chasing Rin around, screeching unintelligibly for her to return the ugly brown cap he wore to conceal his premature baldness and his oddly-shaped head. Several retainers also stood at attention, silent and staid, but they could not prevent their eyes from rolling towards the doorway to spy the hanyou.
Sesshômaru, not bothering to lift an eye from his meditative posture, snorted. "The half-breed returns. The keep rejoices. My regrets that I'll not be able to attend the accompanying festivities."
"Why, ya—," Inuyasha growled, stepping forward with his fists clenched and his fangs bared.
"Enough," Lord Kin ordered, his voice deep and resonant. That single word contained impossible power, for its speaker was the most powerful demon in the western lands. His domain covered thousands of square miles.
"I would speak with the second son alone," Lord Kin stated. Immediately the retainers filed out, followed by Lady Machi's troop of women. Lady Machi beckoned Rin over to meet Shippô, who had prudently abandoned Inuyasha's shoulder to stand by the lord's wife. Rin abandoned Jaken's cap and rushed over to meet the kitsune; Lady Machi guided them off. Sesshômaru slunk out last, miserable Jaken in his wake.
When at last all the company had vanished, Inuyasha approached his sire. Lord Kin was rather young by demon standards, but took pains for his human guise to appear middle-aged. His soft white hair was bound back in a severe ponytail at his nape, with more ties down its length at measured intervals to prevent the mane's interference with his movements. His face was grave, with a strong chin, high cheekbones, and a smooth, broad forehead. On each cheek were three blood-red slashes denoting his demon nature. He wore plain, dark colors, but could never be mistaken for a commoner. He was very tall, with large bones that gave him a wide frame and bespoke awesome strength. The claws extending from his big yet slender hands were half again as long as the fingers from which they grew.
Inuyasha bowed slightly from the waist before Lord Kin, then wordlessly knelt and looked blankly ahead. He didn't know what to expect from his father. Being so distantly referred to as "the second son" had rather put him out.
"It has been a long time since I last saw you, Inuyasha," Lord Kin said. "I have not seen my wife truly smile for the duration of your absence. I am inclined to confine you to the castle for a matching length of time, as retribution. However, I would hear your account of the crime before I mete out the punishment."
Grunting his assent, Inuyasha gave his father a slight nod in acknowledgement of Lord Kin's magnanimity. He inhaled deeply and told his story. He adhered strictly to the facts, even when telling of his humiliating defeat at the hands of Kouga, the wolf demon. His story ended with the mention of taking Kagome to the healer's hut.
"Your defensive skills of both your body and your mind are appallingly poor," Lord Kin remarked. "You will work and train diligently to improve while the woman is recovering. However, such sessions will take place only when your honorable mother does not wish your presence. If she wants you with her at all hours of the day, it will happen. Do I make myself clear?"
Inuyasha nodded, his face expressionless. He didn't like hearing his father's criticism, or being reminded of his mother's heartsickness and how he must be the one to ease it, for he was the one who had caused it.
"Good."
For a moment, there was absolute silence and motionlessness. Then Lord Kin spoke again.
"Inuyasha, I am not given to…emotional displays. You know this. Yet when you were gone, I noticed. Not because my wife was beside herself with sorrow, as you might think, but simply because of myself." The demon lord sighed deeply. "To overcome one's pride is ludicrously difficult," he murmured, seemingly to himself. He pierced Inuyasha's gold gaze with his own and continued, "You are not merely the child of my beloved wife. I came to the realization that you are my son. Perhaps you despise being half-human and half-demon, but the human half is what endears you."
Inuyasha looked down at his hands lying on his thighs and blinked in surprise. His father never spoke this way, but the admission nonetheless warmed his heart. Lord Kin had spent most of Inuyasha's childhood securing his lands and fortifying the borders, leaving Inuyasha with only his lady mother to look after him and teach him about life. Sesshômaru had been no refuge, reviling as he did his father's human wife and her halfling get.
Even when Lord Kin did come home to the keep, most of his attention went to either the maintenance of the fortress or to his dear wife. Lady Machi tried her best to include their son, but Lord Kin seemed not to know what to do with the hanyou cub. Inuyasha had always felt that his father considered him a nuisance, so he frequently went to play by himself, leaving his parents alone despite his mother's pleas for him to stay.
However, Inuyasha could not share memories and feelings with his father. It was foolishness to become emotional that way.
"Yer gettin' sentimental in yer old age, Dad," he said finally.
Lord Kin smirked. "Dismissed. See you at dinner."
"Yeah." Inuyasha stood up, executed another slight bow, and left the room to seek out his mother. He found her awaiting him in her garden at the back of the main house. She carried a parasol with her, and held it over both their heads as they strolled leisurely along the path among the vibrant blooms.
"Shippô and Rin seem to be getting along quite well. They're both such chatterboxes that each one provides the other with excellent company," Lady Machi commented. "I'm glad she has someone her age to play with; I've always felt Sesshômaru and Jaken were not quite adequate to satisfy her liveliness. Still, though, I was deeply touched when Sesshômaru took Rin in. I would never have expected such a thing of him. I suppose I am rather jealous of her (silly of me, yes?), privately wishing Sesshômaru would accept me as he has done Rin."
"Mother, I get the feelin' ya don't really wanna talk about Rin and her situation," Inuyasha interjected.
"You're becoming less insensitive; I'm glad," she said. "You're also right. I don't really wish to do the talking at all. I want you to talk. About the girl you took to the healer. Tell me everything, my darling, every word, every action, every feeling. I don't want a military report, Inuyasha. Tell me the true story."
Her earnest eyes and pleasant smile were a sight for Inuyasha's sore eyes. He smiled faintly down at his mother and honored her request. She interrupted often to ask questions, wanting more details, more description. He denied her nothing, suspecting his father did the same.
"What a terrible ordeal you've been through," she said when his tale ended. "Oh, my baby!" She began to weep a bit. Inuyasha panicked. His father would have his head now for making Lady Machi cry!
"It's hard when one realizes her child is growing up," she said breathily, dabbing at her eyes with one of her long sleeves. "Soon you'll be taking a wife and having children of your own," she went on.
"Mother!" Inuyasha exclaimed, horrified. He also felt slightly embarrassed. "Whaddya mean? There's not even a-a girl or lady or anyone I'm fond of, let alone who I'm gonna marry."
"Oh." Lady Machi looked confused. "Well, I thought for certain the young priestess was your intended."
Inuyasha felt his entire face flame bright red. "Why would ya think somethin' like that?" he yelped.
Lady Machi looked down to hide her laughing smile. "I suppose the way you spoke of her and how the two of you interacted gave me fancies. Forgive me, my darling."
"Sure, Mother." He masticated his lower lip for several moments, hesitant to say more. Then he swallowed hard and said, "I'm not sure what I feel about Kagome, Mother. Kikyou was just usin' me, and I dunno what was real and what wasn't. Until I can figure that out, I think it should be said that Kagome and I—well, that we don't even know one another."
Lady Machi nodded her understanding. She gave her son an encouraging smile. "When she regains consciousness, I believe her period of recovery would be a perfect time for you to become acquainted. I look forward to meeting her."
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Dinner was a terse affair. Sesshômaru made subtly scathing replies to any statements from Lady Machi or Inuyasha. Every time Inuyasha was about to shout something ugly in return, Lady Machi placed a gentling hand on his arm and he would fall silent, fuming at his older half-brother's rudeness. He was further irritated by the fact that his lord father said nothing to bridle Sesshômaru's insolence, especially when it was directed towards Lady Machi.
Inuyasha had devoured nearly everything before him when a messenger arrived from the healer to announce that Kagome had awakened and that Inuyasha and Shippô only might visit her. Without a word Inuyasha dashed from the table, Shippô trailing after and bellowing for the hanyou to wait. With a growl of annoyance, Inuyasha turned back and grabbed the fox cub by the scruff to tote him along.
The pair practically burst through the healer's door. Kagome was sitting upright on her pallet, blankets covering her legs, and another couple around her shoulders. Her entire torso up to her underarms was layered by thick white bandages, through which some blood still soaked. Her body and hair had been washed clean of all the grime collected since her last bath. Her black locks had been combed and tied back with a white ribbon. In her slim hands she held a steaming cup of tea, from which she occasionally sipped.
"Kagome!" Shippô cried, running forward to leap upon her and shower her with affection. The healer intercepted him before he could reach his friend. He looked at her with tearful green eyes and a trembling lower jaw.
"She is still extremely weak, little demon," the old woman said. "She doesn't need overeager foxes pouncing on her and carrying on so."
"Can I at least sit next to her?" Shippô inquired in a quavering voice.
"Yes," the healer said. "As may you, young master," she addressed Inuyasha. He snorted at her but took a seat at the foot of the pallet. Shippô posted himself as close to Kagome as he could without actually sitting on her. He stared up at her impassive face with large, wet eyes.
"Will you be okay soon, Kagome?" Shippô questioned worriedly. "You can play with me again soon, right? I made a new friend today; her name is Rin. You'll like her a lot; she's kinda like Kaede, I think. We can have lots of fun exploring and stuff together, Kagome. Right, Kagome? Right?"
Kagome hadn't even glanced down at the hopeful but apprehensive kitsune. She seemed focused only on the teacup in her hands. She seemed to be in her own little world, like her surroundings and the people in them didn't even register with her.
"I suppose I should have mentioned," the healer spoke up with a cough, "she hasn't spoken one word since she awoke. I didn't even know her name until the young demon said it."
"Kagome!" Shippô exclaimed even more passionately. "Please talk to me! Please! Tell me you'll be okay! Say we can play again soon! Just say my name!" Tears started streaking hard and fast down his furry cheeks. "I need you, Kagome! Please talk to me!" He clenched his small, clawed fists in one of the blankets over her legs, sobbing his heart out.
Apparently having drained her cup, Kagome held the empty container out to the hag, who went to refill it. Inuyasha observed her silently, waiting to see if the absence of her tea would make her notice the grieving cub at her side.
"Did I do something wrong, Kagome?" Shippô keened. "Is that why you won't say anything? I'm sorry, Kagome! Please talk to me! You're all I have; please say something!" His entire body shook with the force of his sobs.
At long last, the mute, injured girl seemed to see the brokenhearted child weeping violently into her blanket. Though her face remained expressionless, her thin arms slowly reached out to gather the cub into her embrace. Shippô flung his short arms around Kagome's neck, still crying, and she pressed him close, stroking his shaking back in comfort. She said nothing and showed nothing on her face. Inuyasha frowned deeply. Kagome was definitely acting strange. She had always been freely communicative before, unafraid to air her opinions or display her emotions. Now, though, she was like a doll, her face an immobile mask, her lips permanently closed, her voice nonexistent.
When Shippô had quieted to the point of dozing in Kagome's arms, the priestess finally looked up and met Inuyasha's gold eyes. He saw no hint of recognition pass through her eyes; she might as well have been looking through him. Neither spoke. Inuyasha had decided to wait for her to say something first.
At length, the healer returned with more tea for Kagome, and told the visitors they should go, and let Kagome have a good night's rest. She said they should return the next afternoon, by which Kagome would likely be able to be installed somewhere in the actual household, since she was the young master's guest.
When the two left, Shippô extremely reluctant, Kagome still had not said a word.
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NOTES:
Thanks to Hoshi-chan1 (Sorry ya had to wait such a long time….); Inuyasha-loves-Kagome (It was evil, wasn't it? Yes, Inuyasha was being controlled, like ya said. Though some thoughts and actions were his own, Kikyou was still behind the steering wheel, ya know?); INUSKOI (Well, I do really like the Inuyasha/Kagome couple a lot, but I don't have a problem seeing her paired romantically with another character. One of my short Inuyasha stories involves a different pairing, even. You read this story to your friend over the phone? I am truly flabbergasted. Wow!); eclipse-kagome (I'm very pleased that you're so devoted to the story. I'll try not to do another year between updates….); DemonInuyasha1 (You really think it's creepy? That's good. There are some parts that are definitely meant to be creepy.); kmf (The conclusion? To the first part, maybe. I've still got a bit of story to tell!)
Hello again, faithful readers! Four months later…. Well, it's better than twelve months, right? (I know, I'm grasping at straws.)
Well, the enemy, Demonic Kikyou, has been vanquished! Yaaay! However, that by no means signals the end of this story, not by far! The external conflict has ended for Kagome and Inuyasha, but now they must look to the internal. Inuyasha's gotta figure out his feelings for Kagome, and Kagome has to recover, 'cause she's obviously sick, if not in body then in mind. They may have arrived at their destination of Inuyasha's home, but their journey is not over.
Guys, it means a lot to me that you're sticking with this thing in spite of the long times between updates. I promise I will not take a year on any of the future chapters. I am really gonna try to get them out sooner, okay?
Thanks a lot, guys.
-Kei
PS: I only sent an update notification e-mail to the reviewers of Chapter 9 who don't appear on the list of people who have me on Author Alert. Unless there's a problem, everyone else should be notified by ff-net when I update.