Black and White

By: Liete

Disclaimer: I do not own Suikoden or its characters.

Another beautiful morning in the City/State, another reason for its weary citizens to celebrate. Their Lord Riou had led them to yet another victory over Highland, and the end of the war seemed imminent with results in their favor.

However, all was not well with all of the members of the Dunan Army. Former Dragon Knight Futch awoke from another restless sleep, unsure of why he had bothered to get up at all. As he went about his morning routine: a quick workout with Wakaba and Long Chan Chan, breakfast at Hai Yo's, a bath courtesy of Tetsu, he pondered recent events. How had he gotten himself into another war? All he had wanted was to be a Dragon Knight in the service of Captain Joshua, he hadn't wanted wars. He had just wanted to help the dragons wake from their seemingly endless slumber. As a result, he lost his place as a Dragon Knight, and his dragon, Black. He sunk deeper into the bath water, wishing it to wash away the stains of his failure. Black died to save me. If I had hadn't been so cocky, he would still be alive. I would still be a Knight. None of this would have happened. It wasn't that he regretted meeting such people as Tir McDohl, Riou, or Humphrey, but his life had turned out so much differently than what he had wanted.

Upon returning to his room he was greeted with the most painful sight of all, the little white dragon, Bright.

It went without saying that Bright was a hit with the members of the Dunan Army. No one could resist the adorable baby dragon, even when mischievous. Growling at birds outside the window while his little wings flapped in response, stealing meat from Hai Yo's kitchen, chasing butterflies on the lawn. The girls loved to squeal over him, the boys wanted to turn him into a tough fighter. And while everyone loved the little guy, Bright's world revolved solely around Futch. It was only natural, the first thing he had seen upon hatching was Futch, and so he loved the boy unconditionally as his father. Futch himself questioned his choice at Rakutei Mountain that day, why had he stopped Humphrey when the only dragon he ever wanted was Black? His thoughts were interrupted by the chirping sounds of Bright, who looked up at him with nothing but adoration. Futch's jaw clenched, now that Bright was awake, he would follow him around all day until they both went to bed at night. He sighed and headed off in the direction of the garden, Bright close behind.

He never really knew why he liked to spend time in the garden, it was a place befitting the narcissists and couples like Hix and Tengaar, but for him it seemed like the last place he would want to spend his time. This place...it reminds me of that garden. If he closed his eyes, he could relive that moment. That last moment in Barbarosa's garden, the black dragon orchid, Windy, falling from the sky...he shook his head and opened his eyes. The dragons wouldn't have woken up if he had not gotten that orchid, if Black had not died and his liver used for the antidote. He stared at Bright, who had caught a bird and proudly presented his catch to Futch. Futch scowled, "you're not my Black."

Despite his objection to being in the war, he liked being a member of Lord Riou's traveling party. That gave him an excuse to leave Bright behind, and when he was caught up in the heat of battle, he forgot all about the things that troubled him. He grimaced at the thought of his last "adventure" with the young leader, however. Riou's dear sister was so proud of her "family attack" with her little brother that she had insisted on other members of the Dunan Army coming up with their own "Unite" attacks. She had decided herself that Futch, Sasuke, and Luc were the most attractive "boys" in the army and therefore must have their own attack. It had seemed like a good idea at first, and they could hardly object to the wishes of their leader's sister. Futch certainly did not mind being labeled attractive, and Sasuke was a welcome comrade, but Luc had made it clear early on that he was not a member of the Dunan Army because he wanted to be. Their attack started off simple enough, Futch and Sasuke would attack and Luc would use his magic. What Futch and Sasuke didn't realize was that Luc would use his magic after they had already jumped into the fray. He still had several cuts and bruises as proof of his encounter with Luc's wind magic. Nanami soon tired of their lack of cooperation and had turned instead to Millie, Meg, and Tengaar, who she declared the prettiest girls¼besides her, of course. Sasuke didn't mind leaving, heading off in the direction of the dojo while mumbling something about training, even though everyone knew it was the trainer and not the training he was after. Luc didn't care either way and resumed his post at the Stone Tablet. Futch had been filled with dismay, as leaving the party meant returning to his misery. But he knew that if Riou didn't want his help, he couldn't argue. It had been the same with Tir.

Staring down at Bright, with the bird planted at his feet he suddenly had to get away. Away from Bright, away from battle, away from everything, and so he ran. Ran fast enough that the little dragon could not follow and finally stopped near the library. He spotted that girl Millie and her "pet" Bonaparte playing in the grass nearby...if you could call what they were doing playing, anyway. Futch watched in disgust as the little monster devoured some bugs while its master giggled and clapped. After it was done, she scooped the creature up in her arms and squealed about how wonderful he was. Futch turned to leave when he was stopped by her voice calling out to him.

"Ah! It's the dragon boy! Where's your dragon?"

He turned around, defeated. Yes, she had been one of the people in particular who loved to fawn over Bright. Crazy as she seemed, with that monster Bonaparte and all, he wondered if perhaps it was an act. When he had met her, she had a Blue Gate rune, and not just anyone could use a Blue Gate rune. She probably hid things behind that eccentric façade. At the same time, he wondered if it was possible to be able to use a rune like that and still not be all there. He suddenly thought of Viki, and realized that the best magicians weren't necessarily geniuses. He noticed that Millie was giving him an odd look and forced a smile. So much for not thinking of Bright.

"Er, I just need a break from the little guy, you know? Too much of a good thing..." He stopped at the look she was giving him, realizing that she wasn't buying his excuse.

"I've seen the way you avoid him. Is it because of your dragon that died? That's hardly reason to ignore what's alive and in front of you now," she made her way over to him, Bonaparte safely in her arms.

Futch scowled, "what would you know? You weren't there, you don't know what happened. Black was my dragon, with me all my life, and he died so I could live. I didn't want another dragon, but everyone was so insistent, and I couldn't just let Sir Humphrey kill an innocent creature. Why does everyone expect me to be happy? I didn't want things like this. All I wanted was Black, he was my only dragon..." He stopped, realizing all that he said to this crazy girl he hardly knew. It wasn't like him...well not like the person he had become. He had been so crass and rude when he was younger, and had only sobered up after Black's death and after traveling with the stoic Humphrey. He had bottled everything up for so long that her comment had made him snap.

"Do you really think Black would want you to live with regrets? If you always keep him in your memory, he'll always remain your dragon, but that doesn't mean you can't move on."

His head snapped up. Humphrey had said something very similar that day on Mt. Rakutei, and it had been such an out of character thing for him to do. The same held true for Millie, who usually rationalized things in a sweet, ditzy way. It suddenly hit him, he was the only one living in the past, the only one who would not look to the future. He suddenly felt selfish, thinking of what people like Tir and Riou must go through. But they remained strong and optimistic, not letting their doubts stand in their way. Why hadn't he seen it before?

They were interrupted by desperate cries, and a sudden flash of white. Futch found himself on the ground, a very relieved Bright on top of him. The moment reminded him of a time when he was very young, and introduced to a small black dragon. He had been tackled to the ground by what would be his partner and friend for years. His "brilliant imagination" had only been able to come up with the name Black, but the dragon had loved it anyway, as it had come from Futch. It was a surprisingly fond memory that did not make his heart feel heavy.

"He clearly loves you, won't you give him a chance?" Millie chuckled at the sight of a bewildered Futch, suddenly returning to her normal self.

Futch sat up and stared down at Bright, who chirped happily and nuzzled his hand. Futch felt guilty and relieved all at once. Realizing that he had treated the dragon very poorly, but through it all he was still the center of Bright's universe. He scooped the dragon up in his arms and cried, though this time they were not sad tears. Bright seemed ecstatic at the sudden display of affection from his formally cold master. "I'm sorry, little one. I haven't been fair."

-----------------------------

Later, Futch inserted his note into the castle's comment box before leavingwith new resolve.If he couldn't escape the wars, he could at least make a difference. Maybe someday he return to the Dragon's Den to be the Dragon Knight he had always wanted to be. Whatever happened, he wouldspend some time looking to the future, instead of moping in the past.

Sir Riou -

Thank you for saving Bright that day. I promise to take good care of him.

- Futch

Fin

A/N: I haven't written anything in years, so I hope that was somewhat good. I'm terrible at titles, so please excuse that... I don't remember exactly what Futch's comment was, so I wrote what I remember. I hope I did him some justice! I thought the Suikoden section could use something besides Suiko III fanfiction, heh heh. Please review, thanks!