AUTHORS NOTE: FYI just out of interest, there is a moment when Gideon points out The Crossfire building to Jared where we have a link to a throw away comment that Christian made right back in chapter 38 when he saw The Crossfire for the first time – just a bit of whimsy.

CHAPTER 138

(JARED)

"Well, here we are" dad says and I can hear the nervousness in his tone, he is worried about this and if I was to be totally honest so am I. For the second time in the space of about a month I'm moving house and going to be living in a new city, and New York is nothing like Chicago or Seattle.

I look out of the window and see a Bentley and a Mercedes and it brings it home to me that this is my life now. I could kind of ignore it when I was in Seattle, as I could kid myself I was just visiting… which in a way I was as we were staying with Christian and Ana.

I turn and smile at dad, who is watching me closely. I know he is feeling at a loss as to what to do but I can't fault him as he has just done his best for me since the moment we first met. I pick up my backpack and wait patiently at the doors.

"I don't think there are any paps out there but just in case, keep your head down and go and get straight into the Bentley" dad says and I nod.

I walk down the steps and head to the parked car a few feet away, when I get to it a tall Hispanic man smiles kindly at me.

"Hello Jared, I'm Raul" he says.

"Hello" I say as I hold out my hand to him, which he politely shakes.

I feel a little bit odd as he opens the car door for me, "Erm… thanks" I say awkwardly as I climb inside. A moment later the other door opens and Eva climbs in next to me, and grins at me. Then the driver's door opens and dad appears sliding in behind the wheel. I am surprised at that as I figured either Angus or Raul would be driving. I glance behind us to see Raul getting into the Merc with Angus and I realise they are giving us some space. I look at dad, this must've been his idea to try and make this journey seem as normal as possible.

The drive from the airport into the city is in companionable silence, I am staring out of the window like a tourist as I pick out all the landmarks. At one point Dad slows the car and points.

"There, do you see that building there Jared?" he says, I follow where he is pointing and nod as I see the famous Crossfire building.

I nod, "That's the Crossfire" I say and dad grins.

I realise immediately the significance, that is dad's building.

"So, that is where your company is?" I ask as I gaze at the beautiful imposing building.

Dad nods, "It is, the sapphire-blue coloured spire at the top houses my company" he says proudly.

I grin as I remember something Christian had said about it and how he had told me he'd teased my dad about who had the better building. I look at dad giving him my best deadpan look, "I think I like Grey House better" I say.

Dad looks at me through the rear-view mirror and I can't contain my grin and I let out a loud snort of laughter. Eva starts laughing as well.

"You should see the look on your face Ace!" she exclaims through the laughter and she holds up her hand to me to high five me.

"Sorry dad, Christian told me he'd teased you and so I just couldn't resist" I say as I slap Eva's hand.

Dad shakes his head but he is smiling widely so I know I haven't offended him. When we arrive at the apartment block dad pulls the car into an underground carpark. I watch as I see him lean out and tapping in a code which gives us access to a gated area with a couple more Merc's along with an Aston Martin.

I climb out of the car and we walk towards an elevator, "This is my own personal elevator as it takes us straight up to the Penthouse, but if you use the one inside in the main foyer then you will need this" he explains as he hands me a key.

"What's this?" I ask as I look at it suspiciously.

"If you plug that key into the slot in the elevator it will take you up to the penthouse without stopping at any other floors. Only use it if you are the only person needing the elevator though as other residents in the building won't appreciate the ride all the way to the top".

I nod, and push it into my pocket.

"It will also work at the Crossfire, if you plug it in there it will take you straight up to the 22nd floor where Cross Industries is" dad explains.

Eva grins at me, "Or if you want to come and see me at Waters, Field and Leaman you can override that by pressing the 20th floor button after you've plugged it in and that will bring you straight to our floor instead".

The elevator doors open and I see another set next to them and dad points at them.

"That is the elevator which will take you down to the main foyer. There is a reception desk there and I'll take you down there in a while to introduce you to the guys on the desk" he says.

We stop in front of an impressive looking front door, and dad pulls out a set of keys. "Here is a key to the apartment, don't lose it" he says as he unhooks it and hands it to me.

"Thank you" I say as I take it from him.

We go inside and I try and suppress the gasp that wants to escape from me, this place is massive and totally amazing. I look around, it is very clear just how wealthy dad is from these surroundings but it isn't flashy or ostentatious, while it is clearly very sumptuous it also feels warm, welcoming and cosy.

Dad gives me a tour showing me around and then he stops outside a closed door. "This is your room, now I have no idea what it looks like but I showed Raul photographs of your room at your home in Chicago to give him some ideas, but if you don't like it just say and it can be changed, be aware that it has been very freshly decorated if you want to put up pictures or posters or anything as Raul said the paint might still be a bit tacky in places".

I nod as dad opens the door, I stop dead and my jaw drops. It is absolutely amazing; I stare around me at the state-of-the-art room. The walls are painted a light grey, the carpet is black, with grey and white flecks in it and the furniture is black, but the white paintwork and the splashes of colour with the scatter cushions on the black leather sofa make it look… wow! There are spotlights placed around the wall, dad briefly flips the switch to turn on the lights and we all gasp. I take in the desk in the corner and all my books are up on a shelf above it. I see my TV, the one I took from Uncle Pete's home in another corner along with my GenTen and games which has been set up for me. There are a couple of beanbags and I see a new top of the line gaming chair. I see the music system I also took from Uncle Pete's house along with the CDs and old vinyl records that I took. I was thinking that because this was an apartment that it would be small and pokey but this room is bigger than my original bedroom back in Chicago which wasn't small.

"Do you like it?" dad asks nervously.

I turn around and fling myself at him, "Thank you so much, I have no idea what to say… this is beyond anything I could've ever dreamed of" I say.

I feel dad almost sag with relief at my words as he hugs me back.

"You are very welcome" he says simply. He points and I follow where he is pointing.

"Through there is your bathroom, and that door there leads into your closet" he says.

I drop my rucksack down on the bed, and dad hesitates unsure of what to say or do next.

"Raul said most of your stuff has been unpacked but there were some boxes he was unsure of so they are inside your closet for you to decide what to do with, and he said that he put your chest in there as well… the one from the treehouse" he says.

I nod and walk towards the closet; I stop dead and stare at all my clothes hanging up neatly and as I look I realise there are far more clothes here than what I remember having. I turn to dad pointing at the closet.

"I don't remember having this much stuff?" I say and dad grins.

"I may've bought you a few bits" he says with a shrug.

I look down and see the big box which is filled with Uncle Pete's journals and my heart lurches. I glance at the chest and realise that is the perfect place to store them. I point at the box.

"I'm going to look through these and unpack them" I say and dad nods.

"Alright, do you want me to give you a hand?" he asks but I shake my head.

"I can manage" I reply.

With that he nods again, "Alright I'll leave you to it, when you are ready, I'll take you down and introduce you to the guys on the desk".

"Thanks dad" I say and he hesitates again before turning and leaving me alone.

I let out a long breath and open the box, I look at the journals and slowly I transfer them all into the chest before breaking down the box and putting it to one side. I resist looking at them as I know once I start reading them, I won't be able to stop. I glance at the other box and I realise this is the photographs and the other bits and bobs I'd taken from the house.

I open it and pulling out the photograph albums I open one and immediately I feel the tears streaming down my face as I look at photographs of my mom and dad and Uncle Pete and Aunty Suzy.

I have no idea how long I sit there when there is a knock on the door, "Come in!" I call as I wipe my eyes.

"I thought you might like a drink; you've been in here ages" dad says brightly as he approaches the closet.

The door pushes open and dad appears with a mug and the bright smile he gives me immediately fades to concern as he sees me and has him placing the mug down and crouching down beside me.

"Hey, what is it?" he asks.

"I was just looking through these" I say as I point at the photographs.

Dad sits beside me and wraps his arm around me, "Why don't you show me and tell me the stories behind these pictures?" he asks gently.

I nod and there we sit as I tell him stories of past vacations, birthdays, Christmases and other holidays all which have been captured over the years. Dad listens and asks questions, and I answer him.

I turn the page of one of the early albums and dad stiffens as he sees an older man holding me when I was a baby.

I look up at him, "That's Nick Hamilton… her dad" I whisper and dad nods.

"I know" he says simply.

As we move on, I pause and point to a photograph, "There look, there's Ryan" I say as I spot a photograph of my dad at some function standing laughing with Ryan Landon.

Gideon nods, "That looks like a publicity photograph taken at a charity fundraiser or gala of some description" he says and I nod.

"Yeah, mom and dad always went to those kinds of things, because they were quite wealthy, they were always invited… not sure why my uncle had it though, or whereabouts this was I mean we were based in Chicago and Ryan lived here in New York" I say as I frown in puzzlement at the photograph.

Dad looks in the box and pulls out a photograph in a frame, and he looks at me. "You can put these up anywhere you want to" he says and I smile at him.

I was wondering where I was going to put them all as there are loads.

"I was thinking of doing a kind of collage on the wall with some of them" I ask warily and dad nods.

"That's a good idea" he says, then he suddenly stands up, "Come with me and look at my photographic collage" he says.

I follow him and he leads me into his home office, then he stops and points at the wall, I see lots of photographs of dad and Eva and I smile. It is totally obvious he worships the ground she walks on and I move closer to look.

"These are great" I say.

Dad smiles, "I'm going to put some up of you and me as well… and I'd like to get a professionally taken photograph of us" he says.

I nod, "I'd like that too" I say.

He turns and hesitates before pulling his desk drawer open, and pulling out a single photograph.

"As we are sharing memories… This is my best childhood memory" he says as he hands me the photograph.

I look at it and see a child sitting on a beach with a man building a sandcastle.

"Is that you?" I ask and dad nods.

"It is, I must've been about three or four years old there and that's my dad" he says.

I stare at the photograph and I pause and think what he has just said. He said, 'This is my best childhood memory'. I stare at the photograph and wait wondering how to voice the awful realisation going through my head right now.

"Do… do you have any more photographs of you as a kid?" I ask and dad shakes his head.

"No" he says simply.

That answers everything for me, that is not only his best childhood memory it is his only good childhood memory. I look up at him and swallowing hard I hand the photograph back.

"Is that the only happy memory you have?" I blurt out before I can stop myself.

Dad lets out a long breath before shrugging, "Pretty much" he says in such a matter-of-fact way it makes my heart break for him and after glancing at the photograph one more time he throws it into the drawer and shuts it.

I walk up to him and wrap my arms around him and just hold him tightly. He responds by returning the hug.

"My dad was a workaholic, he lived to work… my mom never really wanted me so even when we were what I thought was a happy regular family, I spent a lot of time alone" he says. "My dad taught me to sign my name and to ride my bike… those were cherished moments for me, but they were just that… moments, the odd afternoon here and there. But this holiday on the beach… it is the only real memory I have of my dad spending any significant quality time with me" he says.

He looks down at me and his eyes take on a look of determination, "I swear I will try and be a good father to you. If I'd known about you… if things had been different… If…" I stop him by holding up my hand.

"You are aware of me now… it's all good dad!" I say.

He shakes his head, and grips my shoulders "You come first… always remember that Jared. You and Eva come before anything else in my life" he says.

I nod, "I believe you dad" I say and he inhales sharply and pulls me close and he just grips me tightly. I am shocked by that almost visceral response to my words and then it hits me what I said, I told him I believed him… surely?

Dad eventually pulls away but he still looks a bit emotional, "Shall we go down and meet the guys on the desk?" I ask.

Dad seems to pull himself together at that question and nods his head.

Travelling down the elevator he demonstrates the key thing he gave me and how if I plugged it in it would take us straight down without stopping on any other floor. When the doors open we are in a bright airy and very fancy foyer with a huge desk, there are two men standing there talking and it looks like they are doing a changing over. Dad strides up to the desk with his hand secured around my shoulder.

"Excellent timing, I've caught you both at the same time" dad says.

They both turn and look at him, "Good afternoon Mr Cross what can we do for you?" one says politely.

Dad pushes me forward slightly, "I'd like to introduce you to my son Jared, he is living here with myself and Eva now so become acquainted with him as he comes and goes" he says. The men nod and smile kindly at me.

Dad turns to me, "This is Edward and James they run the security on the desk and share the shifts between them" he explains.

The introductions complete we go back upstairs and dad once again uses his key to give us a quick ride to the top. I remember my drink that dad brought me and I go to fetch it, before returning to the comfortable main sitting area.

"You will be starting your new school on Monday. I thought it would give you chance to get settled in before you are hit with a new school" dad says as I sit down.

I nod, quite relieved about that as all this is a lot to take in. "I'll take you in on the first day, and Angus will take you and pick you up after that… if that's ok?" dad says nervously and I nod, I was expecting that as dad has to work.

He hesitates before he speaks again, "You will have your own security, and they will be more visible than what they were when you were in Seattle. I know you're not used to it but now it's out there that you are my son that makes you a target for the crazies and those looking for a payday, so it has to be this way" he says apologetically.

I shrug, "That's ok" I say simply as I was expecting this, I wonder what happened to the guy who was watching me in Seattle.

"What happened to the security guy who was watching me in Seattle?" I ask.

Dad's face darkens, "He was let go under the circumstances" he says. I realise that because he failed to stop Jerry Barnett doing what he did and that because it was me who raised the alarm about him when I called Christian this guy hadn't done his job properly and so now he'd been fired. Part of me didn't think that was altogether fair as that guy had no idea who Jerry Barnett was and it was only his car which I'd previously seen in Chicago which raised the red flags for me. But then again his mistake resulted in… I ruthlessly push away the memories of that evening.

"Jared?" dad says carefully.

I smile at him, "I'm fine" I say.

I take my mug into the kitchen, and see Eva looking in the freezer. She turns and grins at me, "Excellent timing I was just looking to see what I could do for dinner but there really doesn't seem much left in here, so I'm thinking take out?" she looks at me questioningly and I nod.

She moves to a drawer and pulls out a selection of menus and puts them on the table, "What do you like?" she asks.

I pick them up and look through them, "There is also a restaurant who Gideon calls if you wanted something different" she says, "We normally call there when Gideon gets a craving for a steak dinner" she adds.

I look up, "I love steak" I say and Eva grins at me again.

"Steak dinner it is then! Potatoes and vegetables or fries and onion rings?" she asks as she pulls out her phone.

"Fries and onion rings please" I say.

"Good choice!" she replies, "And how do you like your steak?" she asks.

"Erm… medium please" I say. This sounds so surreal, a steak dinner as a takeout just doesn't seem real.

I remember the conversation I had with dad earlier and his reaction, I glance behind me and move closer to Eva.

"Can I ask you something?" I whisper and Eva immediately nods and puts her phone down.

"Earlier dad and I were talking, and he assured me that we… you and me came first for him, he was really adamant about it and I told him I believed him… his reaction to that… I…" I stop unable to articulate what I am trying to ask.

Eva nods, "It means everything to Gideon for someone to believe him unconditionally… about anything. So much so, that he views my belief in him as my love for him. So, when you told him you believed him, while it may not have been much to you but for him it meant the world".

I nod, "Is that because nobody believed him when he was a kid and got abused?" I ask and Eva nods.

"It is" she says sadly.

I shake my head, "That guy we saw in Chicago… Chris he was an asshole, I can't believe he didn't believe dad" I say.

Eva sighs and cocks her hip into the work surface, "I know, he was blinded by what Elizabeth told him and now he realises it was all lies and he believed the wrong person but he is too much of an asshole to accept the fact he was wrong about that and he just has no idea how to make things right".

"Where is his mom now?" I ask and Eva shrugs.

"No idea, she managed to escape jail time somehow but she has just vanished. To be fair, the court settlements must have cleaned her out, she lost everything but it was no more than she deserved, plus the negative publicity when it all came out about her she just disappeared to escape it" she says.

I nod, "I read stuff about her and I was shocked at just how evil she was" I say.

"Yeah, well there are a lot of evil people in the world Jared" she says and from her tone it occurs to me that she has also had experience of that.

Before I can reply the kitchen door opens.

"What's going on in here?" dad says with a grin as he comes in and walks up to Eva pulling her to him and nuzzling her neck. I smile as I see this as it reminds me of how dad was with mom.

"Just about to order dinner, Jared is looking at a steak dinner and I'm totally on board with that as I'm starving" she says and dads eyebrows rise in surprise but he smiles.

"Good choice!" he says, he turns to Eva, "Order me my usual please" he says and after kissing her quite passionately he walks away.

oooOOOooo

The Next Day…

The Bentley pulls up outside the Crossfire and I glance up at the building, Eva is coming back to work today, but dad is taking the rest of the week and going back to work on Monday when I go back to school.

Angus opens the door for me and as I climb out I see a photographer snap a photograph, "Dad" I say and he immediately comes around and places himself between me and the photographer. Angus goes up to the pap and says something to him. Dad leads me into the Crossfire building and I am in immediate awe of the place. Dad pauses by the security desk and speaks to the man there.

"Good morning Mr Cross" he says, he glances at Eva, "Mrs Cross" he adds and then he smiles at me. "You must be Jared, hello son I'm George and I'm in charge of who is allowed in here, so as I'm sure you will be wanting to come in and visit your dad on occasions you will be needing this" he says as he opens a drawer and pulls out a card. He hands it to me and I look at it.

"Thank you, sir," I say as I take it. He smiles at me kindly.

"You will need that to get through the turnstile. You place it on the top which allows it to move, and until the other guys are familiar with you hold it up as you walk past the desk as well. Not many people have a pass like that and they have to stop here first" he explains.

I nod in understanding, dad thanks him and we move towards the turnstile and stop. "Well, go on then" dad says pointing at my badge. I touch it to the top of the turnstile and walk through. Once we are all on the other side dad leads us to the bank of elevators. He waits until the doors open and a flood of people come out. Then we enter, dad points at the spot on the control panel "That's where you put the key I gave you" he says and I nod. Today though Eva pushes hers in and presses the 20th floor. The elevator swiftly goes up and moments later we are exiting into the vestibule of Waters, Field and Leaman. The security doors buzz and Eva walks in followed by dad who gives me a little push to follow.

Eva pauses by the desk and greets the man there warmly before putting her arm around me. "This is my stepson Jared, so if he comes here make sure he is allowed direct access" she says and the man nods.

"Yes Mrs Cross" he says, Eva turns to me, "I'll show you where my office is" she says and we walk down a long corridor, people smile and greet Eva as we walk past and then we arrive at a number of cubicles and three proper offices along the back wall, Eva points "The middle office is mine but if I'm not in there I will either be in the break room or next door in Mark's office" she explains.

She grins as a tall black guy comes sauntering out, "Eva you're back!" he says brightly.

He smiles kindly at me, "You must be Jared" he says, "I'm Mark" he adds as he holds out his hand to me.

"Pleased to meet you sir" I say politely.

"I'm just letting Jared know where to come if he ever wants to come and visit me" Eva explains. She turns towards us, "So is that clear?" she asks me and I nod.

"Good, well I need to go now as I have a lot to catch up on" she says, dad immediately pulls her into his arms and kisses her far too passionately before murmuring something in her ear which makes her flush slightly.

"I'll see you both at lunch" she says and she turns to me holding open her arms, "Have a good day, and think of me here working while you are both enjoying yourselves" she says with a grin as she envelopes me in a big hug.

We leave the way we came and it surprises me how everyone doesn't take any notice of dad being here at all, so I guess he makes regular visits to see mom during the work day. Before I know it we are entering Cross Industries, dad pauses at his reception desk and introduces me and tells the red haired receptionist that if I show up I am to be allowed immediate access. He leads me down a long corridor and as he approaches a man sitting at a desk, in front of a huge glass walled office. The man looks up and immediately stands.

"Mr Cross" he says.

Dad smiles at him and introduces him to me as Scott his assistant and that if I was to call the office number it would be Scott I spoke to first. He tells Scott that if I ever show up he was to be informed immediately and that no matter what he was doing I would take priority. Scott nods and smiles kindly at me. Dad ushers me into his office and closes the door, I look around it is huge.

"And this is my office" dad says somewhat unnecessarily.

"Wow" I say simply as I take it all in.

Dad grins, "Watch this" he says as he walks over to his desk, I watch him and he points at the glass walls, "Keep your eye on those walls" he says. I watch wondering what is going to happen and suddenly the glass becomes totally opaque and frosted, my mouth drops open and I am unable to say anything.

"Really cool right?" dad says and I just nod stupidly. Dad walks past me and as he does so he pauses and whispers in my ear, "Far better than Christian's office at Grey House" he says which makes me smile.

"Through there is my personal washroom" he says as he points to a door.

"This is unreal" I say as I look around.

"Let's get out of here" he says and after returning the glass to normal we make our way out. As we are walking down a corridor I hear someone calling out to dad.

He pauses and turns, as the man swaggers up to him, "Almost forgot what you looked like Cross!" he says with a wicked grin and then he turns to me and winks at me.

Dad sighs, "This disrespectful idiot is my personal attorney Arash Madani" he says as he waves his hand at the man.

"So, this is your son and heir?" he says grinning at me, "Good to meet you Jared and commiserations for finding out you are related to this guy" he adds with a completely deadpan face.

Dad glares at him, "Do you really hate your job so much?" he says in an equally deadpan voice and I watch the banter go back and forth between the two men. This is a side of dad I've not really seen before, Uncle Christian teases dad but this is on another level.

A moment later another man joins us and greets dad warmly, he looks at me and smiles at me. "Jared I presume? Hi, I'm Manuel" he says before dad can introduce him. Dad looks at him in exasperation and Manuel just shrugs, "Just cutting through the bullshit" he says and I giggle.

"Watch your language" dad growls and that makes me giggle even more considering how dad has cursed at times.

Manuel smiles kindly at me, "Sorry kid" he says and I warm to his easy going demeanour.

"So when are you coming back?" Manuel asks and dad replies that he will be back full time on Monday. He asks if there is anything he should be aware of but both men shake their heads.

"To be fair the place runs more smoothly with you not here getting in the way" Arash says sardonically and Manuel lets out a loud snort. Dad glares at them again but I also see a smile pulling at his lips.

"When you are quite finished giving me reasons to fire you" dad says and Arash just laughs and slaps dad on the back.

"Yeah yeah!" he says, before he turns to me, "Seriously though it is good to meet you Jared and a word of advice… don't put up with his sh… garbage" he says as he quickly corrects himself.

Dad shakes his head, "Come on Jared let's get out of here before these two idiots completely corrupt you".

The two men laugh loudly as they say goodbye to me and walk away ignoring dad completely.

"Hey, what about me? What am I – chopped liver? Don't I get a goodbye?" dad calls.

"NO!" they both call in unison and then I hear more laughter as they disappear.