Disclaimer: I don't own although it may be slightly AU with the little facts
Author's Notes: Sorry this chapter came late; school has started with a vengeance…once again, thanks to all of you for the nice words in your reviews. Oh, and, I've only done archery once and I'm not much of a guru at all so I'm just making up the terms and such as I go along. And once again, even if it seems like it may turn out that way in this chapter, there is no slash in this story. None. I'm not against slash and sorry for all disappointed but my life isn't quite as romantic as the imaginations of some in fandom.
~*For Eden*~
~*Chapter Five*~
Legolas aimed carefully and shot. The arrow flew cleanly and embedded itself in the center of the target. It was a hard shot but Legolas nailed it, naturally. His father was an archer and it was in his blood. Estel let out a sad sigh.
"I've been trying, really," he insisted. "But Ada is always too busy to help, same with my brothers." Legolas enjoyed the look of frustration on Estel's face. It made him look more like a human child rather than the older, wiser boy he seemed the night before. It also didn't hurt the fact that he finally felt superior in one way while Estel seemed to be calm and collected in all other parts of his life.
"You're holding the bow too low, you're keeping the arrow pointed to the ground. You must measure the distance from yourself to the target with your eyes and point the arrow accordingly."
"And how do you "measure?"" Estel demanded. "It's one thing to say it and one thing to do it."
"Patience," Legolas said with a shrug. "I've had more than a hundred years to perfect my aim, you haven't."
"I'm surprised I forget you're an elf sometimes," Estel said off-handedly.
"I'm surprised you remember at all." Legolas shot another arrow that flew to join the one in the middle he had shot before.
"It's hard to forget, you've got that elven aura and the appearance," Estel said wryly, with a grin.
"Nay," said Legolas. "I am sorry but I assure you I am very plain compared to other elves." Estel cocked his head and gave him a sidelong glance.
"Modest, are we?" he said teasingly. When Legolas didn't answer and only seemed to be furiously interested in an arrow point, Estel sighed.
"Legolas, you are very pretty, just know that and that you have nothing to apologize for." They were silent for a while as Estel finally released the arrow he had been holding onto. It flew and thudded itself near where Legolas' arrows were. He nearly jumped in excitement.
"Did you see that? I've never shot so well before, Legolas." The elf only smiled serenely and nodded; a veil masked his real emotions, whatever they were. Estel couldn't help wondering if he'd ever really get to know him.
~*~
As Legolas was putting away his things, he swayed on his feet. He never did well with skipping meals. He knew he would go find something to eat and eat until he was sick again, and then vow to never touch food once more. His stomach protested against the emptiness loudly and angrily so that he was sure all of Rivendell could hear.
Legolas poured himself a glass of icy cold water that dripped down his throat. He could feel it trickling down to his stomach. His stomach felt like fingers, trying to grip something and only finding water that ran through its fingers. Just a few more minutes, Legolas knew, and then the hurting would stop.
He didn't like the dull ache that resided in his stomach, like a demon that lay in his stomach, feeding on his blood. He couldn't control it. It was different from the bite, the caress, the kiss of the edge of a cool blade. It wasn't satisfying.
Legolas instinctively reached for his blade but stopped himself. This often was extreme, even for him. Estel could walk in any moment. Just as he was withdrawing his hand, Estel walked in. Legolas, heart pounding, got to his feet. His mind was racing. It was so close. Too close. Could Estel see how panicked he was?
Estel eyed him discreetly and noted an unreadable expression almost being put away, as though Legolas had literally put up a mask. Legolas shook his head slightly, as though to chase out the ghosts that resided in his mind. He was dizzy, so dizzy from breathing hard. His vision turned grainy as he nearly fell.
"Careful," Estel warned, and put a hand on Legolas' arm. "Are you okay?"
"Fine," Legolas snapped and pulled his arm away. When Estel didn't push further, Legolas thought he might have felt more disappointed than relieved. Why wouldn't he just ask him straight out what was wrong? Legolas wasn't sure how much more he could go on without saying something but he didn't want to be the one to burden Estel with his petty worries. He wanted Estel to want to know, no, he needed Estel to want to know, for the sake of him at least.
"I think I know whether I'm okay or not," said Legolas, more testily than was necessary.
"I think you have to relax," said Estel, finally. "You're wound more tightly than Ada when Arwen gets into her fits." Estel took a deep breath, hoping what he would say next wouldn't give away the fact that he had seen Legolas the night before, in the water.
"Perhaps if we went to the water," Estel suggested. "It's calming and we've got a lot of time before we get called for supper." Legolas was pleasantly surprised. He would like to see the water again, especially in daylight. It was the second half of what Estel had said that made him frown. Is that all they ever did around here? Eat? It seemed like it.
"We can go to the docks, there's usually no ships around there at this time of the year," Estel said. "And when the sun sets it'll be lovely."
~*~
The docks were relatively far away, far enough so that they had to ride there. Legolas was happy at the chance to see his horse once more and greeted him as though a long lost friend as Estel watched amused. They rode in silence, losing themselves to the comforting rhythm of the horses' hooves hitting the ground.
Legolas finally felt relaxed for real as he adjusted to the rhythm of his horse. He always liked riding and especially on Ares. Something about his horse made it seem as though he understood. Legolas shook his head with a slight smile on his face. An animal understanding, he must be going insane.
As Estel had predicted, there were no boats at the dock, just a stretch of calming shore. Legolas immediately dismounted as his horse stayed obediently, away from the water's edge. Legolas shed his shoes as he walked to the water's edge. He enjoyed the gentle lapping of the frothy waves upon his feet as Estel joined him.
"Isn't this beautiful? I think I'd live in Rivendell just for this," Estel said, speaking softly as though in a trance. The sun was low in the sky and the water was like liquid gold. Legolas saw that his skin was the same shade. He wished that the inside of his body could change to gold too. Not like any other metal, soft and beautiful and unchangeable. He wouldn't ever be hurt or plagued by emotions if he were made of gold.
He put a hand to his heart as though that may somehow turn his beating heart to gold. The water sparkled as though sprinkled with glitter.
"Thank you Estel," Legolas finally said. The elf looked so sad and so distant that Estel couldn't help trying to trick him. Estel remembered the very first time he saw Legolas and those vicious looking cuts on his arms. He wanted to see them again. Could a door really make those marks? Legolas was either a very bad liar or lead a very strange life.
"Why don't we go swimming?" Estel suggested and pulled of his shirt but then immediately felt guilty about doing so. How could he trick Legolas into showing him something that he obviously felt was too personal to share? Just as he had suspected, Legolas stiffened up and looked uncomfortable.
"I'm sorry," Estel said softly. "Please, if there's anything to tell me, Legolas, just tell me. I'm your friend; I want to be your friend. I wish you'd trust me." Estel reached out and touched Legolas arm where he had seen the cuts and saw the wince that crossed Legolas' face before it disappeared.
"I…It's nothing," Legolas persisted, feeling disappointed in himself. "I…I get angry sometimes and sometimes I feel nothing." With that, Legolas started wading further into the water without further regard for his clothes, distancing himself from Estel. Estel followed, closing the gap.
"Legolas, do you hurt yourself?" he finally asked. Legolas looked at him pleadingly; there was nothing more than anything in the world that he wanted more than to tell Estel. But it was difficult. More so than he would have imagined. Estel reached out to hold onto Legolas' arm again. They stared at each other, both willing and wishing for Legolas to speak. Legolas felt his eyes starting to fill with tears. He cried so easily, a grown boy like he shouldn't cry. He should be able to hide his feelings more. He showed them so easily, so much that Estel would see.
"Maybe," Legolas finally said, and wrenched his arm away from Estel's grasp and half ran, half swam to the shore. Legolas convinced himself that the setting sun on the water on his face was what blinded his eyes, not tears. He ran from Estel and jumped up onto Ares.
"Go, please," Legolas whispered, and the horse obeyed, running as fast as it could. Estel watched and listened to the horse running farther into the distance, taking Legolas away. He sighed and let the elf go first. He deserved to be alone now, but now that Estel had more of an idea of what Legolas did to himself, he wasn't quite sure if alone was safe for Legolas.
Estel sat on the beach and watched the heavy golden ball finally sink below the horizon, dragging down a velvety curtain of night sky. When the stars and the moon were high in the sky, Estel finally reached for his horse and also rode away from the shore.
~*~
"Elrohir, what would you do if you had a friend," started Estel, wondering how he was going to say this.
"You wouldn't need to know, you have no friends, brother," teased Elrohir.
"I'm serious," Estel said. Elrohir was the more empathetic between Estel's older brothers and he was hoping perhaps Elrohir would have some advice, any advice. The older elf could see that Estel was truly worried and settled to match his mood.
"What's the matter, Estel?"
"I don't know exactly," sighed Estel. "Just, if you knew someone was doing something wrong, what would you do?" Elrohir frowned.
"Depends on what they are doing. They could be killing someone, or they could be stealing sugar from their kitchen. Wrong is a large word."
"He's hurting himself I think." Elrohir played along with his brother although he vaguely knew that it had to do with Thranduil's son. The sickly, sad looking elf seemed to be one who would do something like what Estel was describing.
"It's brave of you, little brother, to want to help someone else, but I want you to understand that I don't want you to be pulled down with this person. Save yourself whenever there is a danger of you hurting too."
"I'm already hurting, I want him to be okay," said Estel.
"Don't follow what he's doing, don't follow his footsteps," Elrohir advised. "And just be there for him." Estel sighed.
"Thank you Elrohir." The older elf patted his brother on the head and walked out, leaving Estel to his own thoughts.
~*~
Legolas was not at supper and wasn't seen after that either. Finally Estel couldn't help but walk to his rooms, his feet guiding the way.
"Please talk to me, please talk to me," Estel whispered to himself. Finally, he drew back the filmy curtains that served as a door. The elf was sitting there on the bed, shoulders hunched, looking as though he may have been expecting Estel.
"Are you-" Estel found that his mouth had gone dry and swallowed, trying again. "Are you ready to talk now?" It seemed to take an eternity for Legolas to slowly raise his head and finally meet Estel's eyes.
"Yes, I think so."
~*~
a/n: sorry so short. The story seems to be progressing quicker than I planned. I'm not sure how it will end because, obviously, my life hasn't presented a good clean end to this problem. Thanks for reading, all my readers make it worth getting up in the morning~
Thanks to: FrodoBaggins87, Riva van Dyk, Fire Eagle, Catmint, eveyen, Luthien Tinuviel the 2nd, Drowned with my enemy, Coolio02, aaliyah, sunni07, Just-some-girl1, Lillybeth1,
Brandy Liqueur- thanks for the compliments, have you seen Helen of Troy before? It was okay but I'm really counting the days until Troy comes out (with Orlando Bloom of course…) I think I'll read some of your friend's work sometime. About your question, perhaps, I'm not much of a physical person myself and I've got nothing but skin and bones on my arms so I guess the straining of the muscles pulling the cuts apart wouldn't really apply to me…but I'm pretty sure that could happen easily.
Alira- sometimes it is hard to not make things in the story, especially the dialogue, belong in the Tolkein world. But I've used Legolas as the main character, not someone who lives in our culture, because he is admired usually and it shows that everyone can have problems, even if they seem for no reason on the surface.
Elfmage- funny how in turn I find all of you the real inspirational ones…
Kerla- thanks so much for that hug, it made me smile for the first time the day I read it
LadySiri- even if it's not important to your dad, if it's still important to you then that's all that matters. I hope you work things out with your dad and you do what you need to stay beautiful and healthy just the way you and everyone should be.
Theodred Prince- you're absolutely right, this ordeal will also push Estel to his limits as well as Legolas.
Angel with No Wings- hope you didn't fall!
Kowarete no Tsubasa- glad you're liking Estel, I like him too. Everyone needs a good friend.
Sindarin Lady- I know I have nothing to blame my parents on, kids who are being abused and hurt by their parents is just one whole big messy other place that I don't want to venture into. True, kids should not look for a scapegoat and take responsibilities for their actions if they deem them important enough; then again, they are still children, whatever that is. Don't forget, there are always two sides to a pancake no matter how thin it is.