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Chapter 7: Heatwave


I can't make it, Jiro.

Let me take over. Geez, you make the disabled person do all the work. Move over.

It's too tight to fit. You'll never get through there.

I've done this hundred of time, Yuuki. I've just got to push in a little farther. Oh shit! Who's your daddy?!

That's just like you to get overly anxious and have all the fun for yourself. What about me? She restlessly tapped her fingers against his back. Her legs straddled him from behind while he leaned his head between her legs.

He glanced up for a moment taking in her pure look of frustration inwardly laughing to himself. It's not my fault that you're so inexperienced. I can't stop myself from moving ahead without you. You're too slow.

You're so damn selfish!

Fine, fine, fine. I always told you that you could come over and practice whenever you wanted.

When? You've always got yourself some skank in here. What do you want me to say? Hey, get out of here so I can play with Jiro.

Not like I would care. You're the only girl who will do this with me. It's rare to find a woman who knows how to have fun like this. I mean occasionally Akira comes over, but it's not the same.

You're lucky that I decided to grace you with my company this fine night.

I was wondering why you decided to come over. Weren't you supposed to go into work tonight.

Eh. I called Tsukushi about it and she was cool about it. I didn't want to be around when Shizuka showed up anyways. Better to stay out of the crossfire, I say.

Yeah. I heard about their little blow up last week. Sometimes I don't know who I should side with anymore. I mean Rui's in love with her, and she makes him happy. Or whatever happy is to him with his icy façade.

What do you mean?! How can you not choose Tsukushi's side?! Shizuka should have the sense to get her scrawny ass out of our lives. I can't even believe the gall she had to offer Kaya singing lessons knowing full well how Tsukushi feels about singing.

He defensively put his hands up in surrender. Whatever. I agree that Shizuka was provoking her, too, but I can't help but feel bad for Rui who's stuck in the middle. Let's just drop the issue.

She tugged at her camisole while fanning at her face with her free hand. Jeez, it's fucking hot in here. I'm sweating like a pig. Can you open the window or something?

Soujiro stood up from his comfortable position and grudgingly stalked over to the window flinging it open letting in some of the warm night breeze into the room. He peered his head out the window sucking in a deep breath of the muggy air. Beads of sweat dripped down his neck trickling down his bare chest. What's with this weather? It feels like an inferno out there.

Yuki sprawled out on the couch resting her head on the arm. Sloppily she grabbed a hand full of hair and piled it on top of her head pinning it up. The satin and lace camisole melded onto her body glued on by the most of moisture emitted from her overheated skin. Today isn't that bad. I heard this heat wave may last a few weeks, though. Summer's going into full swing.

Just what we need.

Well, you know the heat brings out the worst in people.

In a pure act of irrational thought, he jumped over the couch landing on top of his prey straddling her beneath him. He lowered his face to hers leaving a mere centimeters between their faces. Their eyes locked for a moment mixed flaring with a mix of lust, desire, and hope. The gentle tease of his warm breath against her skin flushed a light pink stain across her cheeks.

So what are you going to do now?' Yuki barely stuttered out. Knots formed in the pit of her stomach anticipating his next move. She brought a hand to his cheek, her fingers gliding over the bruise by his eye. You know that black eye just makes you look even more... sexy

I His body hovering dangerously over hers shifted slightly lowering down on hers. In one jerk movement, he reached beneath her and pulled out the controller from underneath her. He could feel her back arch up towards him inviting him to mold against her. With less than graceful efforts, his body rolled off of her as he hit the ground with a thud. Propping himself back into a sitting position against the back of the couch he proceeded to stare into the television screen unpausing the video game they had been indulging in previously. I'm ready to kick some more ass. His unwavering cool voice cut through the sexual tension like a knife shattering any chance of something more happening that night.

You had to be blind to not notice the trace of disappointment cross Yuki's face. She closed her eyes trying to calm her breathing, which had rapidly increased with that close encounter. She was so close that time. Despite that bubble of hope that had been burst, she wasn't as crushed beyond recognition as expected.

I knew what was coming, like that punk ass would ever try to make a move on me. It has always been like this. What more does he need from me? Do I have to resort to tying him to the bed forcing succumbing to my desire to act out every naughty idea that ever crossed my lustful and very sexually deprived mind? Nishikado Soujiro is a fucking idiot!

Finally settling for defeat and acceptance that the only relief she would ever get from that warm, fiery sensation burning between her legs would come from a battery operated , she took her previous position behind him wrapping her legs around his back. She sighed as he rested his head back between her legs ignoring her discomfort that he would feel how hot for him she really was.

Why did I let her come over? She just showed up at my doorstep holding a six pack in one arm and a pizza in the other. Who was I to turn away good food and company? I fucking screwed things up with her again, didn't I? If she wraps her legs around me any tighter I think I won't be able to hold down my little soldier's salute. Damn it! I guess I'll be locking myself in the bathroom later with page 56 of the Victoria's Secret catalogue. Come on, Jiro. Get it together! It's Yuki, off limits Yuki. Don't turn around. Focus on the TV screen. Think cold. God, do I need a cold shower.

Someone must have heard Soujiro's silent prayers, for the doorbell rang just in the nick of time. Both occupants in the living room jumped up jerking them out of their thoughts.

Someone's at the door! I'll go get it, Soujiro overenthusiastically volunteered. He clenched his legs together waddling out the room as quickly as possible avoiding any frontal views from Yuki.



Breathlessly, he swung the door open wanting to throw himself at the feet of his savior. It didn't matter who it was, what they wanted, or why they came. The second he laid eyes on his visitor he could feel a huge lump get caught in his throat making breathing impossible.

The very leggy and scantily clad woman pushed her way through the door draping her arms around his neck. She leaned in closer to pushing on leg between his. A knowing smirk spread across her face. It seems like you were all ready for me.

Brushing her aside, Soujiro straightened out his disheveled appearance. What are you doing here?

Well, I thought I might surprise you. It's been awhile, Jiro. You never minded before when I used to drop by. She formed her mouth into a tiny pout. She pulled him into her arms wrapping him into her tight hold. She nibbled on his ear while placing his hand in just the right places up her skirt. Looks, like you got yourself into a little trouble. She raised a hand to the cuts and bruises on his face. I know just the thing to make you feel all better.

In surprise, Soujiro backed up against the wall finding him pinned against the wall by the temptress. God, did he want her bad right now. Although he was enjoying the feel of her breast weighed in one hand and the other trailing up her skirt, his mind briefly alerted him of his other houseguest. He pulled his wandering hand away and placed it on her lips whispering, One minute.

He ushered Keiko into the kitchen making her promise to wait for him while he took care of some business. Running his hands through his tousled hair and making a quick stop in front of the mirror to wipe away any traces of lipstick on his face or neck, he calmly walked into the living room. He picked up her purse carelessly thrown onto one of the chairs and handed it towards her. Sorry, Yuki, but someone just came by to visit. It's been fun hanging out like this. We should do this more often.

Yuki watched in shock as her bag was thrust into her arms and she was very rudely pushed towards the front door. Barely giving her a chance to put on her shoes, she glared at Soujiro wondering about his sudden change in attitude. I didn't get a chance to kick your ass at Grand Theft Auto yet.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, he nervously repeated revealing his haste in making her vacate the premises. He lunged underneath the TV yanking out wires and plugs. He shoved the playstation 2 into her arms and opened the front door. You can borrow that to practice. I'll see you tomorrow!

a sultry voice called out form the kitchen. What's taking so long? Keiko stepped out of the kitchen and possessively hooked one arm around Soujiro. She stared down at Yuki eyeing her with an utter disdain and suspicion. Who's this? I never knew you had a little sister. She's so cute.

I am not his sister, Yuki spit out flatly.

Soujiro stepped into the middle of the women's stand off interrupting the rising tension between them. He clapped his hands together and put some distance between the two catty women. Yuki's a friend of mine. She was just about to leave. He put an extra emphasis on and pushed Yuki out the door.

She stood dumb struck outside with her mouth open trying to find the words to say. For some strange reason, she appeared to have completely lost her voice. She stood in horror as Soujiro leaned down giving her a chaste peck on the forehead and a pat on the head.

Thanks for coming by and taking care of me today. I'll see you at work tomorrow. You're the best, Yuki. I know you understand me more than anybody. With that said, he closed the door on her, but not before giving her a thumbs up sign and nodding his head towards bed companion fro the night.

Yuki stood outside his door staring at the ugly green door wondering what the hell just happened. Her mind was racked with questions that for the moment she didn't have a clue as to the answers, let alone where to find them. She propped her head up on her chin while sitting on his stoop staring out at the empty black streets in front of her. In front of the house was parked what appeared a sleek, black Mercedes. From outside, she could hear the faint whispers form indoors.

Who was that girl anyway? I didn't think you were the type to be a pedophile, Jiro. Keiko's annoyingly high-pitched voice leaked through the front door hitting Yuki like a slap in the face. Perhaps I should leave and let you continue where you left off with your little pet.

Don't be foolish. Yuki's just a friend. Actually she's more like a little sister to me than anything else. A man like myself needs a more experienced woman, not a little girl. Forget about her. I would prefer to exert my energy on other activities right now.

she squealed as the sound of breaking glass lingered outside.

Brokenhearted, Yuki picked herself off the ground brushing off any dirt on the bottom of her shorts. She looked down at herself in deep thought contemplating what she had that she didn't. As she started down the pathway, curiosity got he better of her and she turned around catching a glimpse of something that would haunt her for the next few weeks. They didn't even make it into the bedroom it seemed. There he was on top of her on the couch tearing away her clothes with his teeth like a starving man. The urge to retch all over his front lawn was becoming more and more appealing by the minute. She clutched the playstation in her arms considering sending it flying through the glass windows into Soujiro's head. She slung the console under one arm and flipped him the bird through the window muttering profanities to towards Soujiro. To her shock and utter humiliation, he chose that moment to look up from his ministrations. His eyes widened realizing he had forgotten to close the blinds. Leaving Keiko with her legs still up in the air, he jumped over to the window pulling the blinds closed.

Little sister, my ass! I'll show you little sister you heartless, oblivious, self-centered piece of shit bastard! What does she have that I don't have? Excuse me, if I choose not to go out and get myself a pair of fake boobs and shoot my face up with botox to hide my ugly ass wrinkles. The second little miss late night fuck comes over you going running with your dick hanging out of your pants. Well, you know what?! I don't need you! You fucking need me! You'll kick her out tomorrow like the morning trash and waltz your way over to my place pretending like what you did didn't hurt me at all. Well, guess what?! I'm not taking your shit anymore. I've waited long enough for you to notice me. I'm tried of being ignored.

Yuki stalked across the street towards her house lost in her own whirlwind of frustration and rage. She was pissed, more like beyond pissed. She practically kicked the door in followed by the toss of the playstation onto the kitchen table. Slamming her bedroom door behind her, she flopped onto her bed and screamed into her pillow stifling her cries of anguish.

For all I care, Nishikado Soujiro can go to hell!

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I'm falling. It's all a matter of waiting for that moment, that moment where you smash face first into the bottom of the pit of despair you've dug for yourself. Do I care? Not really. I've let myself become consumed by my own grief and thirst for vengeance. I've sold my soul for one brief moment of carnal satisfaction. Would I do it again? Hell, yes.

Akira pushed the door open while pulling out his keys signaling his return with the clanging of his keys scraping against the lock. His heart fell at he sight of Sakurako sprawled out on the couch facing the door, probably awaiting his return. The overly enthusiastic and from one of those infomercials promising a miraculous solution in the fight for perfect abs blared from the television screen. Flashes of light were sent in all direction against the walls illuminating the darkened room with a dim glow. Despite his desire to head straight for his bed and pass out, he opted to play caretaker to the small curled up girl. He noticed her body trembling from the cool air blasting from the air conditioning, although he, himself was enjoying the change of temperature with his silk shirt clinging his every muscle saturated with sweat. The knowledge of the danger of leaving her in the cold room any longer without any proper cover, prompted him to remove her from the room in exchange for the comfort of her own bed. Gently, he slipped his arms underneath her body lifting her like a limp rag doll and maneuvered himself towards her open bedroom.

She stirred in his arms and her eyes fluttered slightly open trying to focus herself to her current orientation. she barely whispered. She struggled to open her heavy sleep laden eyes to focus on the man carrying her.

Shh. Go back to sleep, he coaxed in a soothing tone.

In response, she buried her face deeper into his shoulder mumbling incoherencies. He could only chuckle at how childlike and innocent she could appear when left in her weakest form. While juggling her weight on one arm and using the other to pull back the comforters. He lowered her down onto the bed tucking her in for the night. He unhooked her arm from his neck and gently laid it over her chest, which rose and fell with each deep breath she took. A wisp of hair fell over her face causing her eyes to flutter under the pressure. Akira swept the annoyance away and left a chaste kiss on her forehead upon seeing the calm spread across her face.

He stepped back into the living room surveying the room absorbing his surroundings. Things just didn't seem right. For the past week, nothing seemed familiar anymore. Then, again when things like this happened everything looked skewed to him. Akira's life was hard to explain. It would take a class to understand the workings of his inner mind, Akira 101. To best sum it up, he lived for today and not for tomorrow, carpe diem and all that good stuff. Life was all a matter of excesses. Wasn't it obvious? His odd attachment to his car like it was his lover, his penchant for only the best designer clothes, and the fact that he glorified the only women he shouldn't have had -married ones. They were all dispensable in a moments notice to be replaced by something flashier and more mind numbingly exquisite. In a way, he was exhibiting a fear of being caught with his guard down. It was all a matter of pick up and run when things got uncomfortable for him passing it off as his own waning interest when in reality it was his fear of other losing interest in him, He built up these walls carrying on with his coveted pretenses allowing the world to see what he wanted to see. However, most would argue that is what society is all about, appearances. That was his greatest strength, and at the same time, would be his impending downfall. Honestly, his entire persona was one big fat defense mechanism, one he had highly acquainted himself with at that.

The stench of sweat and grass lingered on his clothing making crinkle his nose in disgust. Spending the afternoon mulling about a cemetery in sweltering heat wasn't exactly the best idea. Everyday he found himself in the same place, searching for answers, something to make him feel whole again. He probably would have stayed longer if the groundskeeper had not asked him to leave for the night to lock up. Reluctantly, he obliged to the simple request leaving the place of eternal rest more muddle headed than before. All in all it was quite a fulfilling day His footsteps echoed through the apartment as he padded towards the bathroom. The flickering light set off all his senses making him more acutely aware of his apparent disarray. Despite Sakurako's protests, he chose to ignore her and go off on his own to deal with his inner demons. He did what he always did when circumstances like this arose.

God, I was wondering what that smell was, he muttered to himself as he peeled off his clothing. Splashing some water on his face he looked up at his reflection seeing an unrecognizable face staring back at him. Cool droplets of water dripped from his eyelids down his chin and into the sink cleansing his face from any remnants of dirt and grime caked onto his face.

He stepped into the shower letting the icy pellets of water strike his body firmly holding his ground refusing to shy away from the pain. He braced his hand against the tiled bending his head down staring at the swirl of water spiraling down the drain. At first the water was stained a light brownish maroon color from the intermingling of dried blood and dirt washing off his body. The longer he stood there staring at the water, the more the water cleared up becoming a crystal clear color. It was the only solace he could vaguely grasp finding himself clean, purified from his sins. Somewhere in the midst of the cold liquid needles pricking his skin, a small trickle of his own salty tears streaked his face falling into the spiraling pool of his crimes disappearing into oblivion.

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Tsukasa woke up for the fifth time that night kicking off the sheets around him. The weather was driving him insane that night. It had already been a long night of hearing Tsukushi bitch and moan about his inept bartending skills, as well as her relentless barrage of insults over all the drinks he spilled when serving. She was ruthless ever since that face off with Shizuka the week before. Without Akira there to back him up and Soujiro being preoccupied with his own work, he was left defenseless from the mad woman's insane mood swings. One moment she's perfectly fine, the next she's off the deep end. His patience was wearing thin. The world was one raging inferno that night only fanning the growing irritation and anger rising in him. He tried his best to restrain himself from lashing out on her. He needed the money. He needed the place to live. It was the only thing he rationalized as a reason to stay, but now those reasons didn't seem to hold much weight on his desire to remain anymore.

Only donning a pair of boxers, he considered stripping off the last shred of clothing on his body for an au natural look. He sat up in his bed looking out into the darkness wondering why the room was filled with an ungodly humidity. He stood up onto the bed reaching his hand for the vent near the ceiling checking for any air coming from the central air system wondering if anything was coming out of it. There wasn't even a tiny whisper of air coming from the thing. His mind and body were beginning to suffocate in the stifling heat swarming around him wrapping him in a muggy cloak. It was becoming unbearable to breathe. A lapse of impending insanity forced him towards the windows thrusting each one open like a mad man releasing the warm recycled air that had settled within the room. Gasping for air, he threw his face out into the night air taking deep breaths trying to calm the erratic palpitations of his heart. However, something caught him off guard. He quizzically cocked his head to the side realizing that from his bedroom window he could terrace extending out from the window. That wasn't the only thing that struck him. Maybe it was the full moon or the inexplicable hot weather, whatever it was he found his full attention focused on the back of the lone figure leaning out against the railing. His breath caught on the back of his throat.

Tsukushi dropped the phone back onto its receiver after having a rather lengthy conversation with eh building superintendent as to why they were trying to bake its residents alive in the middle of the night. She had awoken in a tangle of her own sheets sweating profusely while cursing under her breath. Apparently she wasn't the only one who awoke in that state, since it took her a good fifteen minutes before she could get her call through to the building manager. Somewhere in the middle of the night, a power surge occurred blowing out the generator in the building thus debilitating the building's central air system and knocking out all electricity. With the large influx of people using air conditioning all over the city that night it would take them a few hours or probably the next morning to get their power back on.

She rolled off the bed and quietly snuck out of her bedroom not daring to make a sound. The idea of Kaya waking up in and having to spend the rest of the night entertaining a crank, sweaty four year old was the last thing on her mind at the moment. Either way there was no way she was going to be able to go back to sleep now, so she decided to occupy herself with cooling herself down. There would be only a few more hours before daylight. Quietly, she slinked out of her bedroom and headed for the kitchen. Upon opening the door, the last fragments of cold blew out at her. She scowled at the thought of all her milk and other perishables spoiling in an hour. That would require a second trip for groceries that week. Grabbing a cold bottle of water, she gulped downed it's contents greedily letting a few stray droplets slide down her chin to her neck. The relief from her discomfort was short-lived, though. She glanced around the room deciding the only way to release some of the building heat in the apartment would be to open up every window. She raced over to the terrace and flung the two French doors open letting a slight breeze into the room, which sent the transparent curtains dancing in the air. Childishly she ran towards the railing lifting herself up by her arms and closing her eyes feeling the mildly warm breeze envelop her. The wind caressed her bare skin underneath her peach silk nightgown. Her long pale legs peeked out from underneath the short hem while her arms were completely naked exposed for the world to see her in all her feminine glory. Normally she wouldn't have chosen that rather provocative article of clothing, but with the rising temperature and the touch of the smooth, cool silk on her fingertips the urge to wear it was irresistible. It had been tucked away in one of her drawers for so long she had almost forgotten about the gift from Yuki and Sakurako. After the hectic week she had been put through, she wanted for once to feel sexy, to look like something that would drive a man wild, to be a woman and not a dowdy mother. Her long, soft hair billowed behind her like streamers. A girlish giggle bubbled within her as she began to twirl around the terrace waltzing with an imaginary partner to her own music. With each twirl and dip her hair would cascade across her face. In a dizzy heap she fell onto one of the deck chairs gasping for air.



Tsukushi was jerked out of her moment of recklessness. I spoke too soon, she grumbled to herself. Lifting herself form her comfortable position, she trudged back into the warm apartment. When she opened the door, she was greeted than by none other than her very bleary eyed daughter wailing at the top of her lungs. She lifted her out of the bed whispering soothing words into her ear and carried her out onto the terrace.

I'm hot and sticky, Mama, Kaya whined. Her eyes had become puffy and red from her crying. The stench of salty tears lingered on her.

Sorry, sweetie. The air conditioning is broken.

Her only response was another sniffle. She buried her face in her mother's chest rubbing her tears and runny nose against the warm chest. All Tsukushi could hear was some garbled whines from her daughter about the heat and her inability to go back to sleep. She was falling into one of her whiny tantrums.

I know something that will make you feel better. She laid the little girl onto the long deck chair on the terrace and ran back into the kitchen. She looked down at her soiled nightgown wondering what kind of man would find her vaguely appealing right now. It was pretty much a lost case. Tsukushi walked back out holding a cool glass of water and tipped the glass into the little girl's lips forcing her to swallow her tears back while drinking. Gently she wiped the remaining drops from her eyes and picked her up propping her up against her chest. Tsukushi shifted under the trembling form on top of her trying to calm her choked sobs. Go to sleep, baby.

Kaya only gripped onto her mother tighter for dear life. Herr body slowly cooled off as she lay outside in the night air.

Tsukushi stared up at darkened sky letting the moonlight fall on her face. From the floor they were on, she could see out into the distance the faint lights of the city lighting up the sky. They were too close to the city to see nay real stars, but the faint flicker of the neon signs and building lights almost made it seem like they were real stars. She continued to stroke Kaya's head lost in her own thoughts. The melodic words dripped out of her mouth in barely a whisper being carried away in the wind.

When somebody loved me,
Everything was beautiful
Every hour we spent together lives within my heart
And when he was sad,
I was there to dry his tears
And when he was happy,
So was I
When he loved me

Through the summer and the fall
We had each other, that was all
Just he and I together,
Like it was meant to be

And when he was lonely,
I was there to comfort him
And I knew that he loved me

So the years went by
I stayed the same
But he began to drift away
I was left alone
Still I waited for the day
When he'd say I will always love you

Lonely and forgotten,
I'd never thought he'd look my way
And he smiled at me and held me just like he used to do
Like he loved me
When he loved me.

Kaya's breathing steadied. Tsukushi placed a hand over Kaya's chest feeling the slow rise and fall. She was asleep. Half asleep and half awake, Tsukushi looked up to the heaven's above saying a silent prayer to herself before letting her heavy eyelids fall.

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Rui laid back on his bed staring up at the ceiling pondering over random thoughts, but not really anything in specific. He was tired form al the fighting. It had been a long week trying to keep the two women in his life away from each other. That was the predicament he had found himself in. One was the mother of his child and the other the love of his life. He was a man in hell.

What are you thinking about?

Nothing much.

Sometimes I really wonder if you are serious about nothing important going on in that pretty little head of yours, Shizuka laughed as she propped her head up on one hand staring intently at Rui beside her. You always have such a serious face like this. She relaxed the muscles in her face letting her mouth settling into a frown that almost resembled a scowl.

I do not look like that, he pouted. He turned resting his head on the pillow. Do I really? he lightly laughed letting a small smile escape him.

I love it when you do that.

Do what?

Smile. You should do that more often.

What? You want me to be a grinning idiot? he laughed once again.

She placed a finger on her lips. That would be interesting. Hanazawa Rui the grinning idiot, instead of Hanazawa Rui the stone faced block of ice.

Block of ice? I always thought of myself nor being frigid, more like being cool perhaps. I'm not always indifferent. Can't a man have some quiet alone time?

She snuggled into his bare chest underneath the sheets. Skin met skin, sending shivers up and down her spine. You'll always be my Rui. Promise me that.

I'll always be yours, as you will always be mine.

Good. I would have it no other way. She waved her hand in front of her face smiling contently watching the glimmer shining off of the diamond on her finger. I was thinking that with this insane weather maybe we could go away to the beach for awhile. I would love for Kaya to come along. Since she'll be on summer break in a little while. Maybe I could learn a little more about her. It's so rare that I get to see her.

I don't know, he sighed. It's rare that Tsukushi lets me have her overnight. I already can see her face freaking out at the thought of us taking Kaya away for a few days. Maybe now isn't a good time to approach her about something like that. Look at the week we've been having.

That's bullshit. You're her fucking father. You don't need permission to see your own goddamn daughter. You've got to stand up to her one day or she'll take her away form you forever. As long as you obey her ridiculous commands, she'll always have this hold on us. You have to understand. I love you and I hate the way she denies you of your own daughter. I love Kaya just as much. I want you to have the chance to experience what a real family is supposed to be. Shizuka rolled over onto her side trying to hide the tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

I'll talk to her. Rui reached a comforting hand over her shoulder.

She turned back to him and buried her face into his chest breathing in his scent.

Soon. Soon, we'll tell them all.

I just don't want to hide our relationship anymore. If we are going to do this, we have to do this right. No regrets, no sneaking around. We do it publicly.

I know. I do too, but in order for any of this to work we need to come to some compromise. I can't have you and Tsukushi biting each other's heads off like that every time. It's not a healthy environment for Kaya. She is what matters most in all this.

I agree, but

No buts. I saw the way you provoked Tsukushi with singing. That was a low blow.

I wasn't trying to be petty. I really wasn't. It's just when she started throwing Susumu in my face I couldn't help it. No matter how many times I try to explain myself it always comes out with me being the villain. She acts like she's the only one who lost him?

We all miss him. Rui pulled Shizuka's trembling body closer to his rubbing her back to calm her down. Do remember the first day we met?

How could I not?

I couldn't believe the luck I had to live so close to a real angel. I still remember your hair in those pigtails swaying back and forth as you ran up to the door wearing a light pink sundress. I fell in love with you that day.

You were five, she snorted.

Love knows no age.

I would have guessed otherwise. You barely spoke more than a few words to me when I met you. If it weren't for me dragging you out of the house, you probably would have never seen daylight. I always wondered what you would look like with a tan. Always the pasty one.

Hey! I'm not pasty. It's just he fact that I take good care of my skin. I don't enjoy the burnt look, ok.

I remember the first time I saw how really pale you were. Every part of you was porcelain white.

How could I forget?! It was our school trip to the beach. You thought it would be funny to pull down my swim trunks in the middle of the beach. I couldn't live it down for days. When I went back to school all the kids wouldn't stop teasing me.

I wanted to see what I could get out of you. Hey, I remember you yelling a few choice words that I thought would never come out of your mouth. That's the first time I ever saw you pissed.

Damn straight I was. Now that you mention that, I'm still mad at you for doing that to me.

Aw. Come on. It was a long time ago. It's not like you had a lot to show the world. You were only eight at the time.

Excuse me, but I think I was quite well endowed for a boy my age. How was I to know you were such a perv trying to sneak a peek at the goods?

She playfully slapped him in a face with a pillow. It's too hot in here. I think I need to take a shower to cool off. Shizuka slinked out of bed letting the soft sheets drape across her bare body as she drifted away form the bed towards the bathroom. The soft click of the door closing followed by the sound of running water echoed through the still loft.

In the confines of the bathroom, Shizuka sat down on front of her vanity inspecting her face. Fine lines were beginning to form around her, a twisted sign of her growing years. She was waging a war with time now. Finally having reached her twenty seventh year of her life, she was reaching the peak of her youth. It was the time when most of her girlfriends were slowly dissipating into the doldrums of married life, children, and just plain settling. That was exactly the life she had refused to bind herself to. She turned the platinum band around her finger watching the diamond twinkle under the glow of the fluorescent lights. Carefully slipping it off she placed the ring into her jewelry box for safe keeping; however, instead of closing the lid she fingers a small part of the velvet lignin where only the sharpest of eyes could see the tiny tear in the fabric. She dug her nail into the small opening tugging at something edged into the small hidden compartment. After securing it in her fingertips she pulled out the small silver circle. It was nothing short of elegant and tasteful with the small diamonds imbedded onto the sides in a weaving pattern. She twirled the small ring around her fingers holding it up into the light. From the inside she could still see the faint words inscribed inside, All my love-Susumu. A single tear fell down her cheek as the words registered in her head.

I still remember the day you gave this to me Susumu. You gave me your heart, and in turn a piece of my soul. That day I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I would have done anything for you, for us. I really did love you? You know that, right? You came into my life bringing with you promises of great things to come. We we're going to make out dreams come true together. You were the only one who understood me, my hopes, my deepest desires. I wasn't about to become another one of those simpering housewives wondering what my life would have, could have, should have been. I don't know what happened. We were growing farther and farther apart each day. You became obsessed with Last Resort and I with my career. All we were holding onto was the bond we shared in the pursuit of for our dreams. We were never the same after what happened. We both screwed up. I was insecure, telling myself that as long as we had this we would be fine. I realized you didn't need me as much as I needed you. I knew you would always undoubtedly love me, but was you heart always in it? Then there was Rui, my Rui. The boy you had taken under your wing to make into a man. In a way, you molded him into a vague replica of yourself. Somewhere along the way, he filled the emptiness that you left in your wake. Maybe deep down I held unrequited feelings for Rui that I will never forgive myself for betraying you with. I don't know. All I know is I loved you. I did love you once.

She quietly slipped the ring back into its hiding place closing the lid with a snap of the case. She stared back at the face in front of her wondering where had things gone so terribly wrong. Was she really such a monster every one made her out to be? The heart knows no right or wrong. It only knows to love. That is what she had done if not two men at that. And for that she would pay for her crimes. Shizuka shoved her dark thoughts aside and stepped under the warm spray of water shooting from the shower. The cool liquid dripped off her body washing away all the doubt. For now, she had won.

Rui closed his eyes letting his other senses take over for the moment. The temperatures outside were still rising making him more lethargic in the frigid air-conditioning. He smiled to himself upon hearing the faint echo of Shizuka's voice coming from the bathroom. She really did have beautiful voice, yet to be exposed to the world. She could really go somewhere with her voice and talent. He listened more closely absorbing every note, every word that floated across the room to him. His eyes flew open for a moment remembering where he had heard that song before. It was so familiar, yet he couldn't place it until now. There would only be one person who could sing that song the way he wanted it to be, with the passion it needed. It was her song, the one that had for a time captured his heart easing away all the pain and loneliness that had filled his heart most of his life. He barely whispered her name,

You were the only one who could ever compare to her. Both were so alike, yet so different at the same time. What is it that you saw in me? You were one of the few people that gave damn about me. I wouldn't let myself see how much you cared, but I knew it. I remember the first time your cheeks flushed that rosy tint, the blush you only got around me. I was selfish for wanting to have you to myself. I knew all along I loved her more than anyone else in this world, I loved her since I was a boy. She knew every part of me more than I knew myself, but she was taken. Then there was you, so alike yet not the same. I never saw you as her replacement. I did love you once. I don't deny that fact. We both knew from the beginning that there was someone else for me out there. I should have told you it was her. I denied my feelings for you. For a short time, my heart truly was all yours. I wish I could tell you that I love you. I love you so much it hurts that I can't love you the way you want me to. Does this make any sense? You won't let me love you the only way I can offer. All I have left of you now is the memory of your voice imbedded in my mind. I might never say it aloud, but no one could ever compare to you, your voice, your song. I want you to move on. I want you to live again. Most of all, I want you to sing.

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Sakurako's eyes fluttered open to the sound of the shower running in the bathroom. She sat up wondering how she had managed to get from the couch to her own bed without knowing it. The faint memory of Akira carrying her in his warm arms lingered in her mind. She sleepily rubbed her eyes trying to focus on his blurry figure emerging from the bathroom with his hair still damp and plastered to his head.

she shakily called out to him.

The hunched figure tentatively stepped into her doorway hesitating to walk into the room. It's late Sakurako.

Come here, she ordered patting the side of her bed. She moved over a little and lifted the blankets up making room for him.

Emotionally and physically worn he obediently complied settling himself beside her. His heavy body shifted the balance of weight on the mattress causing her to slide over to his side. Like a lost child he wrapped his arms around her waist clinging onto her for dear life like a frightened child. He buried his face into her side sighing heavily. I'm tired.'

I know. She looked down at his face and brushed aside some of his unruly hair. He seemed so lost and confused. At that moment, her cold exterior left her. Her heart cried out for him.

I don't know what it is that you are exactly looking for, Akira. Perhaps, it is the same intangible thing all of us have been searching for. I'm afraid to tell you it might be impossible to find. I know why you brought me here, why you saved me. You thought you could ease your guilt by saving me, your surrogate sister. I always wondered why you had chosen me. Was it because I reminded you of Aya? I'm sorry I could never be her. You and are the most alike. We understand one another like no one else. We've lost the ones we loved, and had the rest betray us all our lives. It wasn't always like this, though. That emptiness inside didn't just magically appear out of anywhere. We loved too much and that was our downfall. We'll hide our true selves always looking for that one thing we can never fully achieve.

She lightly fingered the small locket that hung around her neck. It was the only thing she had left of him, before they ripped him away from her forever. It was the source of all her anger and all her joy in the sick, cruel world they lived in. It was what gave her hope to live.

You had to ruin everything I believed in. It was no longer a matter of just looking out for myself. The moment I knew of you I loved you, even though every part of my body was telling me not to. I would have done anything for you. I would have turned it all around for you. I cleaned up my act for you. It was always for you, my heart. I never thought I could ever love anything as much as I loved you. I didn't even really know you that well. I barely even saw your face. That bastard had to take you away from me. He ripped you out of my arms. I would have never hurt you, but he thought otherwise. The only reason I continue to breathe, to live is for you. It's you, my baby boy.

The locket around her neck falling against her heart cracked open for a brief moment exposing her secret. It was her child. The child that would never know its mother, and the mother that would never know the child. All she had was a picture, a temporary frozen moment in his life. No matter how much she played off her alter ego, the wanton brazen woman, she would always hide hr true self. She was a mother.

Sakurako?



When will it ever feel right again? I just want it to be the way it used to be. I want to be whole again.

So do I.
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Tsukasa pulled himself away from the window after becoming absorbed in the sadness in Tsukushi's voice. There were no words to describe the kind of feelings he evoked in him. She was able to tame the savage beast within him. It was nothing like any of the other girls. Her emotions were so clear and sincere in the music. He couldn't help but feel guilty at invading her privacy. It was apparent that she hid her voice from the world for some reason. But why? It was a shame to do so. It wasn't love or anything he felt for her, but more of a curiosity. He wanted to understand her.

He trudged over to his bed suddenly feeling the world become hazy. As he fell onto the bed, he drifted off into darkness grasping onto that image of her dancing in the moonlight. The sound of her voice imprinted in his mind lulled him to fall into a deep slumber.



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Ramblings: My mind was really in the gutter with the beginning of this chapter. I've been debating recently with what I have planned in the future for our lovely characters. I don't really know how to approach the idea of a future lemon scene. It won't come in for a looong time, but I was just wondering how people would feel about one. In my opinion, I'm okay if it's a little graphic, but in a tasteful sense stemming from a nice buildup to that point. I dunno. Well this vague chapter will have to last you all for a coupla weeks. I've got exams coming up, but I'll try to squeeze some writing time in here and there. Oh yeah, the song I used with a few of the words changed was When She Loved Me from the movie Toy Story 2. I'm such a sap. I always cry when I hear that song for some odd reason. As always, I do enjoy a good review. Ja!