Disclaimer: Prima facie and Quid Pro Quo, all that good legal stuff. Man, who knew learning Latin would come in useful.


Note: Italics denotes a flashback

Chapter 10: Cereal, Ducks, and Music



Another week of work had ended, and at the same time, it was by a unanimous vote and a threat by Akira to lead a revolt that everyone would have the beginning of the week off until opening up again. The heat wave was still raging. The newscasters couldn't exactly clearly define what the cause of Mother Nature's wrath. Whatever it was, she must be having a serious bout of PMS or something.

Tsukasa slinked into the apartment holding a few shopping bags under his arms. His clothes had seen better days and seeing as his small newfound wealth from the club. He was now able to purchase a few decent pairs of pants and shirts to tide him over until his next paycheck. Old habits were always hard to break and his appearance was just one of his weaknesses.

What the?! Where did they go?! an annoyed voice screeched from the kitchen. Empty! They're all empty! Tsukushi stomped out of the kitchen holding empty boxes in her hands and pointed an accusing finger towards Tsukasa. You ate my Ring Dings! She flipped the box over emphasizing the fact that the box of calorie filled pastries was presently empty.

Oh yeah. I ate those last night I think, pretty good.

Okay, that does it! You're coming with me. She marched forward and gripped his wrist yanking him out the door with him.

-----------------------

Why do I have to be here? Tsukasa grumbled. I already told you I didn't mean to eat all your Ring Dings.

Tsukushi pushed the cart in front of them while grabbing boxes and cans off the shelves every few aisles. You're here because it seems that even with all the food I buy with each trip it's not enough. I can't carry too much to the car and I refuse to make multiple trips every week to restock. You're going to help me carry all this stuff back. Plus, I thought it would be a nice chance for us to get to know each other a little better. I've realized that I don't know much about you. According to Sakurako, you're a pretty good conversationalist. Besides, didn't we agree at that dinner we would try to be friends? We do live together so it would be a nice to know a little more about the person sleeping down the hall from me.

Yeah, but I didn't think you were going to take that seriously. I thought it was more of a ceasefire agreement between us to not kill each other. I seriously doubt that you'll we'll have some miraculous turning point in our relationship into lifelong friends between the canned food and cereals aisle.

Get used to it. I plan on harassing you for the next three days. I'll be everywhere you are for the next 72 hours. I see this as a personal challenge to learn more about you. We can't go one going at each other's throats all the time. At least I'm making an effort.

It's nice that you find it amusing to use me as a little project' It's nice of you to take such an avid interest in me seeing as how I'm such an interesting topic and all.

There you go! See I've already learned something very important about you, she exclaimed. The cart immediately stopped.

And what would that be? he asked curiously.

You're ego is probably as huge as this watermelon in the cart, she laughed picking up the ten pound watermelon in the cart.

Ha ha very funny.

Geez, loosen up. And everyone else thinks I'm uptight.

This is stupid. I'll wait for you outside.

Wait! Did you know type of cereal you eat can say a lot about you. She stopped and picked up two boxes of cereal and pointed towards the wall of cereals. Go ahead and pick one.

He snatched the box of Lucky Charms and tossed it into the cart. Happy now?

she replied rubbing her chin.



Hurry up, Rui. I'm not waiting all day while you read every single box. I want to get home with the groceries before the ice cream melts, Tsukushi sighed quite exasperated. She leaned her elbows against the handle of the shopping cart while resting a foot on the rack on the bottom. She stared at him as he slowly paced up and down the cereal aisle.

Don't rush me, he smiled. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day you know.

Remind me to never take you grocery shopping again.

Hey, you were the one who made me drive down here.

I'm regretting it already.

Did you know that the type of cereal you eat says a lot about your personality?



Would I lie to you?

She tilted her head to the side contemplating whether or not he would. I suppose you not.

Good. Now pick one.

Her eyes roamed over the shelves and stopped in front of the middle set. Lucky Charms! She snatched the box and tossed it into the cart. Now you pick one.

Rui turned back towards the initial shelf he was looking at and picked up a box of Raisin Bran. He walked back towards the cart and handed it towards Tsukushi.

Raisin Bran? Eh, too bland for me. I need the sugar. What does this say about you? she asked.

Hey, don't mock my cereal. Raisin Bran doesn't seem too exciting. Actually it looks pretty dull on the outside and the bran flakes are plain. It's a really dull looking cereal, but when you find a raisin on your spoon with the bran it's not so plain anymore. You have to dig around a bit to find the little good part.

Her eyes lit up with the realization of what he was implying dawning upon her. I get it. You're the cereal. On the outside it looks like it's really dull and plain, but it's actually very complicated. Since it looks so dull it almost repels people away, but for those who are willing to look aside they'll get rewarded in the end. If you look hard enough inside you can find the good things inside, but you have to have patience to find them. You've got to put some effort into find the good hiding inside. That's a pretty good metaphor. What does my cereal say about me?

He picked up the box of Lucky Charms. Lucky Charms. It says that are very alive and vibrant with all the different colors. You're very open and inviting. You also have childlike tendencies by picking something so sugary, but that's a good thing because it shows that you're really an innocent type of person, simple and sweet.

Is that all?

Actually it could mean something else. His face became very serious as he turned towards her. It also could mean you have some sort of sexual perversion for leprechauns! he burst out laughing watching the look of shock on her face.

she screamed as she slapping him on the arm. You can be such an ass! She turned the cart around and started stomping away from him.

Rui ran forward and jumped in front of the cart stopping her from escaping. Tsukushi released her grip from the cart and turned around ready to walk out of the store, but was stopped by Rui's hand wrapped around her wrist.

Sorry, I was just teasing you.

Before she could set out an onslaught of expletives at him, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her partially opened mouth silencing her before a word could be uttered. At first she struggled against him by placing her hands against his chest to push him away, but soon she melted into him returning the gesture with equal fervor. They would have kept going except for the small tirade by an elderly woman pushing her cart past about how there is a place and time for everything.

Tsukushi pulled away and buried her head into his chest feeling the heat rise to her cheeks waiting for the woman to turn into the next aisle. Come on let's go before they ban us from the cereal aisle, she giggled.

She laced her fingers with his and pulled him back towards the cart. Putting her hands back on the handle to push the cart to checkout, she was stopped by a pair of familiar arms wrapping around her from behind. Rui leaned his head on her shoulder and sighed. Very gently he brushed her hair to the side and kissed the side of her neck near her earlobe. His warm breath tickled her sensitive skin.

As he pulled his mouth away he whispered into her ear, Just like I said, sweet and simple.



So what does it mean? Tsukasa asked.

It means that you're sweet and simple, she smiled. I was right about my instincts with you. You may not admit it, but deep down you're really a sweet guy. I told you the cereal never lies. Come one, we should go pay. I need to pick up Kaya in an hour. She pushed the cart and walked away from him.

So what cereal are you then?

I used to like Lucky Charms, but I guess nowadays I'm more of a Raisin Bran kind of girl.

Ugh! Raisin Bran is so plain and nasty.

I used to think the same thing myself.

-----------------------

Kaya squealed as she ran out of the school gates.

Tsukushi prepared herself for the little girl that jumped into her arms and swung her around in circles listening to her squeal in delight. Placing her on the ground she knelt down to face her at eye level. Come one, how about we go to the park today since it's such a nice day? It's been awhile since we fed the ducks.

Is Mr. Pineapple coming with us too?' she asked pointing towards Tsukasa who lazily leaned against the wall to the side. She leaned forward and whispered into her mother's ear. He looks cranky.

Tsukushi turned around and looked at the resentful man who was dragged along to pick up her daughter. It took a lot of persuasion to get him out of the house away from the air conditioning, but her persistence had paid off. Why don't you go ask him?

Kaya skipped over to Tsukasa and tugged on his sleeve to get his attention. Come on, Mr. Pineapple. Mama said we can go to the park and feed the ducks.

I don't think so kid.

Her lips formed into a pitiful pout. I want you to come push me in the swing. If you come and we're extra good Mama will buy us ice cream. Please!

Fine, he grunted moving away form the wall. He was startled when a tiny hand grabbed his refusing to let go.

She dragged Tsukasa towards her mother and put her other free hand in her mother's. We're going to the park!

Tsukasa smirked at Tsukushi over Kaya's head. That was a dirty trick.

I know, but it got you to come.

You're really annoying.

And I just learned something else about you, she giggled.

What would that be?

You can't resist this pout. She mimicked the sad wounded animal pout that Kaya had used seconds ago. Who do you think she learned it from?

They walked in relative silence to the park except for the occasional break of chatter coming from Kaya. Tsukushi held the smile on her face and listened intently to her daughter recounting the serious events that had taken place at school that day as if it were a newscast form CNN. Every once in awhile a small smile would cross Tsukasa's lips upon hearing a funny little anecdote from the little girl.

Watch out for the edge, Kaya! I don't want to have to fish you out of the pond like last time, Tsukushi warned from her seat on the grass. She reached for the bag of bread at her side and tossed a few more pieces at the ducks swimming around.

Kaya ran back and forth along the edge of the water following the line of ducks following their mother. Her arms were folded at her sides flapping as she waddled like the other ducks.

Tsukushi looked out towards the water with a half dazed look while Tsukasa seated himself beside her trying to see if he could hit the ducks with the pieces of bread. It was a relatively serene day in the park with a few children playing in the nearby playground and mothers walking by with babies in their strollers. Young couples on dates strolled past holding hands acting as if they were the only ones in the world.

I think this is my favorite place in the park. Kaya's is the carousel.

It's okay here, I guess.

I always liked coming here to watch the ducks even before Kaya was born. I think I would like to come back as a duck at this lake after I die. It's always so peaceful and if something bad happens you can always just fly far, far away.

I wouldn't want to be a duck.

Why is that?

You'll probably end up as pate.

I never thought of that, she chuckled.

Kaya came running up to them and grabbed another piece of bread from the bag. Come with me Mr. Pineapple. Let's feed the ducks first and then you can push me on the swings.

You're one bossy little brat, he sighed.

Go ahead, Tsukushi smiled looking out across the water. She watched the pair amble towards the edge of the water while Kaya recited all the names she had bestowed upon the ducks. She rested her head on her knees and looked out into the distance.

Why do you always come here? Rui asked plopping himself down beside her on the grass.

I just like coming here to watch the ducks, I guess.

Nothing very interesting.

Sometimes I think to myself that I'm just like them.

I could see that.

How is that? She turned her head to the side and peered at him through her hair that had fallen over her face.

You're kind of like the ugly duckling, I guess.

Are you saying I'm ugly?

No. I'm just saying that you always used to think of yourself as something beneath everyone else. You always seemed to hate everything about yourself and look so insecure. Over time I've seen you change. You've become the beautiful swan and are finally starting to adjust into seeing the swan you've become. You're stronger than most girls.

I wish I could agree with you on that.

So what did you want to tell me?

Something has happened that can't be changed. I don't want to tell you this to make you feel guilty or anything. I've accepted that we juts don't work together. You love someone else that I could never be. It wasn't fair to you or me that she had your heart and I had everything else. I don't want this to sound selfish. When I tell you what I have to say I don't want you to make any promises to me out of pity.



Do you really ove this other woman you say you do? I mean. she is the one. The one you've always saved that part of yourself for. Does she make you happy?

She is the one. She's always been the one, he smiled.

Good I just needed to know that. Remember those feeligns for her after what I'm about to tell you. This isn't mean to be a reason to trap you back with me, but you need to know this.

What's wrong? Does this have to do with your visit to the doctor? Is everything alright? I thought you said it was just the flu.

It's not the flu. It's something more serious.

Tell me what it is.

I'm pregnant. With that said she stood up and brushed the grass off of her jeans. She didn't want to stop to see the look on his face fearing that whatever emotions he would be displaying would induce her to accept his offer to do the right thing. Don't even say it, Rui. My mind is made up and I'm doing this alone. She turned to walk away, but stopped a few steps away from him and looked up at the sky. Right now I wish I could be one of those ducks. I just want to fly far, far away. EM Forster was right. I would rather be a coward than brave because people hurt you when you are brave.




Tsukushi picked herself of the ground and turned around to see Tsukasa pushing Kaya on the swings. Putting on a big smile, she tossed the rest of the contents of the bag into the air creating a shower of breadcrumbs to fall into the water. The ducks dove down into the cool water hoping to snatch the remnants of food floating at the top.

Mama! Can we get ice cream now? Kaya pointed to the distance at the man passing by in the truck ringing a bell. It seemed like a mob was chasing after the poor guy.

Tsukushi nodded as she felt her heart jump into her throat at the sight of Kaya jumping off the swing on the middle of the upswing.

Tsukasa muttered under his breath. He ran forward and caught her in the air before she fell onto the ground.

How many times do I have to tell you that's dangerous?! Tsukushi scolded as she took the little girl form Tsukasa's arms. One day you're going to fall and crack your head open. Why do you always do that? You almost gave Tsukasa a heart attack.

she mumbled. It almost feels like I'm flying when I jump off. Don't be mad.



Can we still get ice cream?

I really shouldn't, but since it's so hot today I'll let what happened slide. Don't do that ever again, okay?

She nodded her head.

You sit on this bench with Tsukasa while I go get the ice cream. She shook her head holding her hand over her heart waiting for the erratic beating to cease.

You made a nice catch, Kaya proudly stated as she turned to Tsukasa who was very much wishing he didn't get stuck with the kid.

Tsukasa could only his head in disbelief. He absentmindedly rubbed the sore part of his abdomen where Kaya's foot had lodged itself into moments ago. Children were always too much trouble. Realization dawned upon him on why perhaps his parents had chosen to have him and his sister taken care of by nannies, maids, and butlers. In comparison, Kaya's antics rivaled those of an angel. Vaguely he recalled one nanny's reference to him being demon spawn.

he crookedly smiled.

He leaned back against the cold hard bench and watched Tsukushi walk towards the ice cream man. Stealthily she weaved through the children making sure not to knock them over in the confusion. When she finally managed to get to the window, she smiled towards the elderly man placing her order mouthing thanks as she was handed three ice cream cones. Her attention was taken away when a little boy probably about the age of seven stood besides her clutching a handful of change counting the total. His face fell at the realization that he would not have enough. Without being asked, Tsukushi took her own cone and handed it to him. Seeing his face light up, she ruffled his hair and waved goodbye at him as he ran back up to catch up with his small group of friends. Taking the other two cones from the seller she walked back towards them.

Here you go, baby. Just try not to get it all over your clothes, she gently chided.

Thank you! Kaya eagerly lunged for the ice cream and happily set about lapping up the mixture of chocolate and cream. A small murmur of contentment slipped from her lips as her small tongue darted out catching the melting dessert in her hand.

I wasn't sure what flavor you liked, so I got you a vanilla cone. I thought I might as well play it safe. She crouched down besides them and held up the ice cream cone towards Tsukasa while taking a tissue form her purse to wipe away from Kaya's chin. Take it before it melts all over my hand.

Naw, you can have it. I saw you give yours away to that kid.

It's okay. I wasn't really in the mood for ice cream anyway. A hero deserves a reward anyway.

He took the melting confection from her hand and licked around the winding swirl. He smiled realizing that the ice cream was actually pretty good.

I told you there would be perks to hanging around with me. She stood up and reached out a hand to Kaya. I think we should go. It's getting a little too hot out here and I didn't bring any sunscreen. I don't want to deal with the a nasty sun burn later.

Where are you dragging me now? Tsukasa grudgingly asked even though he was vaguely intrigued with where she would take him next.

Anywhere and everywhere.

---------------------------------

Hey, I thought we all have the next three days off? Why are we here?

Don't get all upset for nothing. I just stopped by to drop make sure that Akira stopped by to make the bank deposit. He told me he would leave the slips in the office. I just came to make a quick check. Tsukushi ignored his further protests about being tricked into working and closed the office door behind her.

Kaya ran up on stage twirling around the stage and swinging around the pole set off to stage right. She jumped down the stairs and grabbed Tsukasa's hand tugging him to seat himself at a small table placed in the center of the floor facing the stage. I'm going to sing for you. After making sure he would remain in the seat she had designated for him, she leapt back onto the stage and grabbed one of the mics left on the piano.

Tsukasa watched the free performance of made up songs Kaya actually enjoying watching her doing moves mimicking those of Yuuki, Shizuka, and Sakurako. She had probably spent her most of her afternoons watching those three rehearse. It was amazing how she could repeat verbatim all the words to Lady Marmalade. At the end of her rather loud rendition of the pop hit she took a low bow and motioned for him to come closer.

Come play the piano with me.

I'll just watch.

No, I want you to come play with me, she stomped her foot in consternation at not having her demand met. Her face turned into a scowl.

Fine, fine. I'll just sit here and watch. He pulled himself up onto the stage and followed her to sit on the space next beside her on the piano bench. Looking down towards their feet he noticed how she was not yet able to reach the pedals.

Kaya thrust the lid open and pushed her hands out in front of her bending her hands as if she were cracking her knuckles. Straightening her posture, she lifted her tiny hands in the air and let them fall hard onto the keys. For such small hands, it was surprising the amount of strength she had to pound on the heavy ivory keys forcing out what resembled Old MacDonald.

Not being able to take much more of the torture, Tsukasa cupped his hands over hers before she could pound mercilessly on the poor instrument. How about I play and you sing? he suggested.

You know how to play the piano? she asked wide eyed in fascination.

I know a little. So what do you want to hear?

Can you play Mary Had a Little Lamb?

He scratched his head trying to reacquaint himself with the keys in front of him trying to figure out which keys made would make what chords. It was one of those moments where he wished he had paid more attention during all those piano lessons his mother forced him to attend. Let me see if I can remember. It's been a long time since I last played. He tentatively extended a finger to strike one of the keys listening to the soft timbre of the sound come out. I think I've got it.

His fingers slid across the cool keys as the simple melody echoed through the room. The slightly high pitch of Kaya's voice carried well in tune with the music.

Tsukushi stepped out of the office locking the door behind her to see Kaya on stage holding a mic to her mouth singing the nursery rhyme without a care in the world. Her smile just radiated from her in finding the sheer pleasure of the music and her voice. She smiled to herself remembering a time once when singing held the same carefree joy for her as it did for her child now. There was just something so liberating and freeing about the act itself. It was as if the world could see and hear into your very soul. She stepped out into the hall and clapped as Kaya came to an end and took one long low bow.

Wow! That was good.

Thank you very much, the little girl cockily grinned as she climbed back onto the piano bench. You play really good, too. She patted Tsukasa's shoulder in approval. You play almost better than Papa.

That was a mean Mary Had a Little Lamb, Tsukushi nodded in agreement. You can play the piano?

He nervously moved his hands away from the keys and rested them on his knees. Yeah, I learned to play a little when I was a kid. I can mostly get out a few nursery rhyme songs, but that's about as far as it goes, he lied.

I can probably only play a few songs myself, she agreed not seeing his obvious nervousness. Do you think you could do me a favor?



I noticed the taps were empty. Could you?

I knew there was going to be some trick about dragging me to work. You want me to refill the taps, right?

Well, seeing as how you would have had to do it when we came back to work anyway I thought you might as well do it now. Please? she toothily smiled trying to sway him over.

Alright, but that's all I'm doing.

You know where we keep the

I know. It's in the basement. I'm already on my way there, he grunted walking away.

Thank you! she waved happily. Turning towards Kaya she lowered her head bump their foreheads. He's not such a bad guy, huh?

I like him, Kaya chimed. He looks all cranky, but he's funny.

I think so, too. So, Miss Kaya what shall we do now?

I want you to play me a song now.

What will it be then? Some Twinkle Twinkle Little Star or maybe a little bit of Oh Susanna?

she furiously shook her head. I want you to play the song you always play!

She really didn't want to play the song, but she should have seen the request coming. It was the one of the only real songs she knew how to play. It was the song that took her heart away. It was the song that he later told her made him see her for the first time.



Where's Rui? I thought he was supposed to come in today and practice. I need him to replace the last guy who bailed on me

He'll be here soon, Susumu. Shizuka reassured him planting a chaste kiss on his cheek. Trust me. Rui is the best out there. You heard him yourself when we bumped into him at that piano bar. He needs some guidance and this job will do him some good.

He's already been with us for the last three months and I haven't seem him take one step towards a piano. I don't want to push him into doing this.

Trust me already? she giggled slapping him on the arm. He was made for a job like this.

You're too persuasive for your own good, Susumu sighed to himself. Why do I let women walk all over me? He threw up his hands in disgust and walked over to Tsukushi. It's my curse to be surrounded by beautiful ladies.

There he is now. Rui! Shizuka quickly scurried off the stage to greet to lanky, despondent looking youth at the doorway.

Rui's the new piano player? Tsukushi timidly asked peering form behind her brother.

He draped an arm around her shoulder and led her to the edge of the stage to sit down. I thought it would be good to give him a job. He's an amazing piano player, though. If things work out, he might be staying with us longer than I thought. I thought you two were becoming fast friends anyway.

Friend is the farthest thing to a relationship we have. Strangers would be a better way to describe us, she sighed dejectedly. The guy hardly speaks more than two words half the time. Do you know how hard I have to work to get a complete sentence out of him? I've tried and tried to have a real conversation to him, but I think I just annoy him by talking incessantly to what seems myself. He rarely smiles or laughs or shows any kind of emotion.

Give him time. From what Shizuka told me, he's had it rough. He doesn't open up to people easily. I thought you might be able to get through to him since he doesn't seem to respond well to me. Sometimes I think he doesn't like me, and I don't know why.

She gripped a fist over her heart faking utter shock. What is this I hear? Someone who doesn't like the suave, charming, and devastatingly handsome Shinimori Susumu? That is unheard of!

So you think I'm devastatingly handsome, huh? he smirked.

No, but that's what the girls at school said when you came to pick me up the other day. One of my teachers asked if you were single? All the girls are jealous that only good-looking guys hang around me. It's already bad enough that they ask me about Rui all the time. All they ever do is follow him around flirting with him trying to get his attention. He's always surrounded by girls. It's so damn annoying.

Do I see a hint of jealousy? Is my precious little sister finding her first crush? Aw, that is so cute.

I do not like him, she blushed. I just find him interesting. He's just so mysterious and guarded. You know me. I'm too curious for my own good.

Uh uh. Whatever you say? I see the way you stare at him sometimes. It's painfully obvious.

Shut up!

He drummed his fingers against the wood of the piano top. So, which one was it? Was it your hot English teacher?

I'm not telling you!! You've already got Shizuka, and I doubt she'll be happy about you're said interest in the hot' teacher.

Doesn't hurt to look, though?



Who's a pig? Shizuka asked confused at catching the last part of the conversation.

Nothing! Ya know, it's kinda late. Hey guys, you can take the rest of the night off. He waved towards Tsuyoshi and Thomas.

Thanks, man. Tsuyoshi scored us some dates with a pair of twins! Can you believe it? Twins! Thomas eagerly proclaimed. He unlatched the guitar strap over his body and placed his instrument against an amp. Let's go.

Yeah, thanks Susumu. The more serious of the pair slapped Susumu on the back and slid off the piano bench. I owe you one.

Later guys! Susumu waved. As for you, how about we leave these two to practice? I have something I wanted to show you at home, he winked towards Shizuka.

What do you have to show me?

Just follow me. Trust me you'll like it, he whispered into her ear grabbing her towards him from behind. It's been awhile since we've had some alone time.

Oh, I see. She pushed his wandering hands away and smiled for Rui and Tsukushi. We'll see you later at home.

Remember to take your time. You know how to lock up Tsukushi! he waved as he ushered Shizuka out the door. One hand remained on Shizuka's ass signifying his intentions of what he wanted to show his girlfriend.

Those two need to stop fucking like bunnies all the time, Tsukushi mumbled underneath her breath.

I agree, Rui threw out.

At least you're room isn't next to theirs, she sighed in disgust. I don't need to know how good my brother is in bed. Forget about it. I don't even want to think about it. How about you just play and I'll sing for a bit and then we grab some food until it's clear to go home?

Rui flipped open the lid of the piano and gently stroked the keys with his fingertips beginning to play a song all his own.

You are good, Tsukushi gawked in amazement. How come you never play at home?

I dunno. I usually don't like to play with other people around.

So, why did you agree to play at the club then?

Shizuka told me that I would have to find someway to pull my weight. I also thought I would be playing for her. His fingers raced across the keys falling into a melody that resembled a current ballad he had heard off the radio.

Oh. Sorry, if you're stuck with me while I practice. My singing isn't half as good as hers. Hey, I know that song. She started humming along with the tune and closed her eyes adjusting to the temp and beat. The words flowed out of hr mouth freely. When the last not died from the piano she opened her eyes to see Rui staring at her with a strange look on his face. What? Was I really that bad?

No... Not at all.



Mama! Play the song! Kaya demanded. She seated herself on the floor of the stage preparing herself for the show to begin.

Tsukushi took a deep breath and lowered her fingers finding that familiar rift. Her body eased as she fell was taken in by the music.

Tsukasa trudged up the stairs hauling up the new kegs grunting with each step he took. It was by his own bad luck that he got tricked into doing the job. He wondered to himself if this was the real reason behind her sudden interest in him. She's manipulative.

Come notice me.
And take my hand.

He carried his load towards the bar and stopped to take a breather. He looked up to see Kaya sitting on the floor swaying with the music enraptured by the person performing the private concert.

So why are we strangers when
Our love is strong
Why carry on without me?

Lonely. There was something so oddly comforting and hauntingly lonely in that voice.

And everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby

Tsukushi smiled to herself feeling that small high she always got when she sang as if a burden had been lifted form her heavy heart. It was ironic how this song had began as a song that brought her a brief joy in her life. Now it had taken on its true meaning because in the end her voice wasn't enough to hold onto him. She lost to the other woman.

And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you baby.

Her fingers stopped as the music died under her hands. Opening her eyes she barely even realized that a streak of tears spilled out. She turned away and wiped them away hoping her daughter wouldn't notice. Turning her head out towards the bar, her gaze met Tsukasa's. She wryly smiled trying to veil her own hidden insecurities and hurt. Standing up she reached out a hand to the child, and lead them off stage. We're done here. How about we go home?

-----------------------

The car ride was spent in utter silence. Kaya drowsily drifted in and out of consciousness form the long day while Tsukushi kept her eyes firmly set on the road. Not much was said later when they reached the apartment and Tsukushi quickly set off to make dinner, which was also a rather somber occasion. After the dishes were washed and everyone settled in to go to bed, Kaya stood up and demanded that she wanted no one else but Tsukasa to put her to bed. Tsukushi tried to talk her out of it, but there was no use arguing with the five year old. Strangely enough, Tsukasa found himself becoming compliant with her demands. That and something in him screamed that perhaps Tsukushi deserved a break for once.

Tsukushi leaned against the doorframe of Kaya's bedroom saying goodnight. She managed a small smile for her daughter and kissed the little girl on the forehead before patting her bottom to push her towards the bed. Good night.

Good night Mama, Kaya yawned.

She turned to walk out of the room almost bumping into Tsukasa clad in a pair of shorts and a light t-shirt. Gently patting him on the shoulder she whispered, Thanks for doing this for her.

It's okay. The kid would have dragged me in here anyway.

Yeah she would have, she laughed. I had fun today, and I hope you did, too.

It was okay.

Well, I'm going to bed. I'll see you in the morning. You still have two more days stuck with me. I'll crack you yet, my friend, she teased.

Whatever you say, he shrugged finding himself defeated in this argument.

She blew one last goodnight kiss towards Kaya and turned away walking back into her room. The last sound heard from the seemingly worn down woman was the click of her door closing.

Tsukasa made his way into the room and pulled a chair next to Kaya's bed finding himself out of place in the colorful room filled with stuffed animals, plastered walls with multiple drawings, and gawdy toys strewn all over the ground. So what do I do? I've never really done anything like this before.

Kaya sat upright in her bed and patted the empty spot next to her on the bed. Mama always sits here when she puts me to bed. Then she pulls out the book in the drawer and tells me a story about the pictures inside. Since you don't know any of the stories, I'll tell you one.

he shrugged going along with the flow.

He bent over and picked up the book resting it in her lap. His larger body shifted the weight of the mattress beneath him causing Kaya to roll closer to him. She settled herself into his chest leaning her head against his shoulder. Feeling completely at ease, she didn't notice the tension in his muscles at their close proximity. She opened the book, which to his surprise happened to be an old photo album. Her finger fell upon one of the first few pictures. It was a scene of a group of people dressed in school uniforms having a picnic lunch in the grass on campus. In the background other students lingered past probably in a rush to wherever they needed to be, but the group just smiled at him seeming as if they had all the time in the world to be young.

This is a picture of when Mama was in high school. There's Papa, Akira, Soujiro, Yuuki, and Sakurako, she pointed out. They all went to the same school together. Mama said that she was always surprised that Akira and Sakurako ever managed to graduate. She also said that Papa usually skipped class, and that I should never be like him. Mama always liked school.



One, two, three!

A flash sparked blinding the group for a moment. Tsukushi sat up and picked up her camera from the stand and listened to the film rewind. Okay guys, that was my last shot. She shivered a little hugging her sweater closer to her body even thought it was a perfectly warm spring day.

Are you cold, Tsukushi? Yuuki asked with a twinge of worry in her voice. You seem to have been sick for the last few weeks.

Naw, I'm fine. I'm going to see the doctor today. It's probably just the flu or something. She settled herself back on the grass and poked at her open bento box. A queasy feeling settled in her stomach forcing her to put down her chopsticks and push the food away.

Are you going to eat that? Akira asked already moving the uneaten lunch box towards himself.

Take it.

You're the best, but I think I'll be taking this to go. His eyes lingered towards one of the younger students walking by with her short skirt swaying back and forth with each bouncy step she took. Looks like I may have found a lunch date to share this with, he smirked before running off.

We've gotta take off too. I've gotta do some research in the library and Jiro's got an exam to cram for next period.

Fuck! I can't wait until this semester is over. I've only got to get through this last set of finals. See ya later, Tsukushi. Come one Yuuki. I need someone to quiz me.

Yuuki waved as she ran off after Soujiro.

Feel better, Tsukushi, Rui smiled as he bent down and kissed her warm forehead. You still feel a little warm. I'll talk to you later.

Okay, Rui, Tsukushi waved watching him depart. She raised her hand to her forehead feeling the heat emanating from her. Suddenly she felt a little lightheaded and woozy. She turned to look at Sakurako who was the only person remaining. She was relatively new to the group, a new addition added on by Akira and yet to be fully accepted by the tight know group. She still seemed to act a little bit guarded and distrusting of the others.

You can go too if you want. I'll clean up.

No, I'll stay to help you clean up, she flatly stated. Mechanically Sakurako stood up and walked towards the garbage can disposing of the mess Akira had left behind. How long have you been sick?

I think about three weeks now. This flu just won't go away.

Uh huh, she nodded her head listening intently with her back turned to Tsukushi. So what kind of symptoms have you been having?

In the beginning it was just a normal flu with the sneezing, coughing and a fever. Now I guess I have some nausea, dizziness, and a bit sore.

That's too bad. She tossed the last of the garbage into the trash and turned around to look her in the face. Can I ask you something?



What is it between you and Rui?

She was taken aback by the blunt question. Rui and I both agreed to stop seeing each other. He didn't love me and I didn't want to stay in a situation where the other person didn't feel entirely the same way. I don't hold any hard feelings. I guess we were never meant to be. I think we make much better friends, though.

Friends? It seems a little difficult to believe that after a guy dumps you, you still want to be friends. You're a strong person to still be able to be around someone you gave your heart to only to have it given back to you. You still love him don't you.

Deep down I'll always love him, but I can;t hold onto someone who doesn't feel teh same way. I knew from the beginning I would always have to compete with this other woman that had his heart.

Do you even know who this woman is? She may not even exist. He could be feeding you a bunch of shit. I think he just found someone better to fuck.

He would never do that. He was never one to stay only for the physical part of the realtionship. He just wants to be wiht the one he really loves.

As in not you.

Rui and I were always different. I don't even see what right you have to judge us, she replied noting the small rise in her voice. You don't even know us that well.

I don't, Sakurako shrugged her shoulders. But I do know one thing. Her eyes bore right through her as if trying to find something completely off about the person in front of her.

And what would that be?

I know that what you have isn't the flu. Believe me when I tell you this and it'll probably wear off some of the shock when you hear this later. You don't have the flu. You're pregnant.

That's insane! I can't be pregnant, she hissed in a low whisper. We were always careful.

She shook her head at the girl's naiveté. Take it from someone who knows. You're late and you just think to yourself it's normal to miss it. Every time you look down at your food your gut instinct is to throw up at the sight of it alone. You find yourself becoming tired during the middle of the day for no reason. There is no such thing as being 100% safe. I know for a fact, you're pregnant. From what you've said you are not willing to make him come back to you even for somethign like this. Think wisely. You may have given him a reason to go back to you. Patting her on the shoulder, Sakurako turned around and walked away.

A lump rose in Tsukushi's throat as she watched the younger girl disappear. A shaky hand rose over her stomach. I can't be. It just can't be. Even if ti were true I don't want him that way. It's all or nothing.



Who's that? Tsukasa asked slightly intrigued as Kaya flipped through the pages narrating what was going on in each one. He pointed towards a picture of a man leaning against Tsukushi's Jaguar. His sunglasses were perched on his head while he carelessly leaned back with a lopsided smile on his face. Tsukasa quickly recognized the man as the one in the pictures he had seen his first day in the apartment, the mysterious blonde man. Better yet, as he liked to call him, Tsukushi's Sugar Daddy.

He was Mama's brother, Susumu. This is a picture of the day he got his car. Mama drives it now.

What happened to him?

Kaya flipped the page to another new set of pictures. He died a few years ago. Mama doesn't like to talk much about him. She always starts to cry when she tells me stories about him. He makes her sad.



Yeah, I don't like it when Mama is unhappy. She pointed out a new picture and smiled. I like this picture the best. Uncle Susumu took this picture of Mama and Papa back when they both used to live here. My room used to be Papa's room when he lived here.

Tsukasa looked down at the picture to see younger versions of Rui and Tsukushi. Their heads peeked out from over the top of a small baby grand piano in what resembled a portion of the living room close the large windows leading out the balcony. The shot was obviously taken in a candid moment when the two weren't looking. Sunlight filtered into the room falling on their faces. Tsukushi sat beside Rui on the piano bench with her head contently rested on his shoulder with a secretive smile on her face. Rui's head was tilted towards her face also timidly sharing a small smile with her. It spoke volumes alone of their young love. All they saw was the other.


Tsukushi lazily lounged on the couch contently reading the book in front of her. She sneakily stole a glance at Rui who remained still at the piano playing a somber tune. Finally being unable to focus anymore, she snapped her book shut and sat up straight turning around to face him.

All you ever do is play the piano.

His fingers continued pressing the keys almost ignoring her statement. It took him a few before he responded. And all you ever do is read.

she smirked. That's besides the point. We should go out and do something. Or at least you should go out, so I can enjoy some peace and quiet to read my book. Why don't you go call up Akira or Soujiro?

I don't want to. I like being alone better.

You're not exactly alone with me here.

You're different. You're used to me being like this. If I go out with those two they'll be harassing me the entire time about how boring I am.

They just don't understand. If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.

Henry David Thoreau. I believe that's a line from Walden.

Right on the mark. You're the only one who ever gets what the hell I'm saying.

It's my own fault for picking up a book once in awhile. You know you love the fact that I'm the only one who can play along with your game. Plus I like you being around. You're a much better sight in my eyes than Akira or Jiro. Beauty, like wisdom, loves the lonely worshiper.

You're a big sweet talker today. Let me think. She placed a delicate finger over her lip to contemplate her answer. Oscar Wilde, The Young King.

Uh huh.

She rose from her position on the couch and trudged over to the space beside him on the bench. Sighing she rested her head on his shoulder. I've been wondering something? Will you honestly tell me what you think?

Go ahead.

What are we? What am I to you? I mean in the beginning you seemed to hate me. Now you're like me, but sometimes you just close yourself off to me. I want to know where this thing is heading because with our past track record I'm confused as hell.

His body went rigid at the sound of her question. His fingers ceased to move and he leaned his head on top of hers feeling her warmth beside him. I know that I care a lot about you. I do like you, he offered as a small gesture of reassurance of her place in his life. I never want this feeling you give me to go away. You just make me feel alive. Does it really matter that much to know what will happen in the future? What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us'. He lifted her hand and placed it over his lips gently brushing his lips over her knuckles. He then pressed her palm over his heart. You make me feel like this.

Tsukushi smiled at his innocent, sweet gesture to calm her worries. He didn't say exactly what she wanted, but it was good enough for her. Ralph Waldo Emerson and thank you. I just sometimes wonder what it is that makes you want to be with me. It just makes me happy to see you like this. It was like one day he came alive to me, delivered suddenly form the womb of his purposeless splendor'. I like you better when you're like this.

Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby. I like me better this way, too. He gently kissed the top of her head inhaling the sweet scent of her hair. He smiled a small smile he had learned to make just for her.





I think I'm falling in love with you.



Kaya had long ago fallen asleep with head nodded off to the side. Tsukasa stirred only when he felt her body wriggle on top of his. He slowly opened his eyes realizing that somewhere in the middle of her storytelling he must have nodded off to sleep. He carefully removed her head form his shoulder and took the book from her hands. Placing it back onto the nightstand, he pulled her sheets higher up tucking her in to shield her from the shiver she got from the blasting AC. he whispered to her as he turned off the lights and walked away.

He tiptoes down the hall towards his room, but stopped at the room next to his. He lightly rapped the door waiting for some sign that he could enter, but was met with silence. Taking a chance he reached for the cold brass doorknob and turned it opening the door. The clock on her wall showed the late hour, but he knew that Tsukushi's erratic sleeping patterns often left her up at odd hours. The light was on giving a sign that she probably was still awake. To his surprise, he found her slumped upright on the bed with a book in her lap. Her head rested against the headboard nodding from one side to the other in what seemed to be a rather fitful sleep. Tsukasa quietly padded into the room trying hard not to awaken her. He pulled the book out of her la and gently cradled the back of her head as he pulled the rest of her body lower into the bed. She settled peacefully onto her pillow murmuring incoherencies in her sleep. His hand lingered for a moment longer than necessary running his fingers through her silky hair.

She's an enigma. I don't know what she's up to or what she wants from me, but I want to know. What makes her sing the way she does? What does she hide behind her smiles?

After pulling the sheets up higher around her body, he turned to place her book on the nightstand. He grabbed a pen on the table marking the page she was on and looked at the cover. War and Peace. That would be enough to put anyone to sleep, he chuckled to himself. He switched off the light and took the same careful path back out the door before shutting it.

As he settled in his own bed, his mind raced. He was being drawn in by her, and it as an inevitable end they would come to. She claimed to want to know more about him and he agreed to play along with her. What she didn't realize was at the same time he wanted to know about her and was slowly gaining that access. Something about her made him feel like they were two of the same. He drifted off the sleep thinking to himself maybe it was fate that put them together. It was if the gods were pushing them together for some greater reason neither of them would ever understand. She had suffered some painful past just as he had filled with betrayal and loss. The words on the page she had left off in her book registered in his brain. In the darkness he repeated them aloud hearing the words one last time before he fell into a blissful slumber.

It was a long time before she could get to sleep. She kept thinking that no one could understand all the things that she understood, and all that was in her.




A/N: Look another chapter done! That's it for now. Wow! That's a lot of Rui-ness going on here. Hate him or love him, it's hard to tell. Now comes a long break for me cuz this is my chapter for the month. Squeezed every last drop of angst out of me. Ack! Finals in two weeks. It's pure torture. College sucks. Let me graduate already so I can become another mindless drone in the capitalist machine Either that or someone sell me the rights to Hana Yori Dango. Sigh