The Fellowship of the Ring

"Whimsical Encounterings"

"One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them. One ring to bring them all, and in the darkness, bind them."

People of different races of Middle Earth, came together to form the Fellowship of the Ring. Their destination was to Mt. Doom where they must destroy the one ring of power. The Fellowship consists of Frodo, the ugly, hideously scary creature, unfortunately the main character. He is a Hobbit with a fro, and is the one carrying the ring. Sam, also a hobbit, is the plump sidekick and obsessive gardener, for Frodo. Merry and Pippin are two stupid, attached hobbits that are just there to make 9 in the Fellowship. Gandalf, a very ancient wizard is Frodo's 'best friend' with bushy eyebrows. Aragorn is also ugly and annoying. He is the heir to Gondor, one of the realms of men, and is stuck-up. Baromir is also man and son of the steward of Gondor. He is overly attached to the ring and Frodo. (Frodo seems to be the popular person for being so ugly.) Gimli is a dwarf with a big annoying hole in the face. He is empty-headed and short. He likes killing orcs and often turns it into a contest. Legolas. Need I say more than, sexy, sexy, sexy, and yummy! He is a sexy elven prince of Mirkwood.

As most of these men had never met one another, Elrond, the leader of Rivendell, decided that they should get to know each other before they set off on a life or death struggle. He put the four Hobbits, two Men, the Dwarf, Wizard, and Elf into a room together so they could talk. It was late at night and even though there were candles it was dim in the room.

"I can't see. Where are you bloody people," Gimli grunted.

"Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see…" (for you who don't know, he was singing the "Bohemian Rhapsody") Legolas sang.

"Shut the hell up!" Aragorn yelled.

"But isn't my voice irresistibly sexy?" Legolas inquired.

"That is a fact," Merry stated to Legolas, who smiled broadly with his 'told-ya-so' look.

"But, Merry!" Pippin cried, "I thought I was your favorite!"

"Oh, I am sorry, Pip," they hugged for the 3rd time that day.

"I am scared, Sam. My shoulder reeks with pain and the ring grows heavier." Frodo said. Sam just stared at him in disgust. Frodo felt hurt. "Don't you care about my pain?"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Frodo, but you really need to put this on," Sam said, placing a paper sack over Frodo's head, "It's just disgusting, and I'm stuck with you through all of the movies."

Aragorn stood up on a table and yelled, "Now, I think we should start preparing to leave tomorrow…" Aragorn continued, but nobody cared or listened. They kept on talking amongst themselves.

"Hello?! Hello! Is anybody listening? Don't you care? AM I ALONE IN THIS WORLD?!" Aragorn wailed.

Just then Arwen ran in and embraced Aragorn and wailed, "My life is over. LOOK AT MY HAIR! Damn these onions!" tears pouring down her face as usual. "My father gave me a new pair of earrings made of onions to ward off the vampires."

Baromir broke in, "Isn't it supposed to be garlic?"

Arwen ignored him and kept on whining. Aragorn tried to comfort her, "It's ok honey. It looks…golden."

"Oh, shut the hell up! What do you know?"

Merry whispered to pippin, "PMS."

"I know the feeling," Pippin replied.

Galadrial glided in with a dazed look on her face. Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared in horror.

Arwen whined, "What are you all looking at?" she tuned her head to look in the direction of their eyes, "Oh, that. Well, Glady and I had a slumber party the other night and we did each other's hair, and, well, it didn't turn out the way we expected."

"Obviously," Legolas said as he flipped his silverish golden hair, "It's a disgrace to the elves."

"What happened to the lady?" Gimli grunted.

"Well, I didn't really appreciate how Glady did my hair, so I decided to take revenge on her by putting green food coloring into the dye. After I was finished some accidentally spilled onto her upper lip and well…now she has some extra facial hair," Arwen stated, trying to hold back an evil laugh.

"Then why are her eyebrows green too?" asked an interested Gandalf.

"She liked the color," Arwen stated simply, then with a shrug, "But, it seems to have soaked into her brain." She giggled stupidly.

"Oh, Arwen, I love your hair. I am glad you finally took my advice and went blond. Now we can be, like, twins!" Galadriel said stupidly, holding her hair up.

"Galadrial, dear, come with me," Arwen led her over to the grand mirror.

"I don't see why you brought me over here," Galadrial said cluelessly.

Legolas was just walking by the mirror but stopped and stared in amazement.

"Damn! I'm sexy!" he stood there posing and making cute faces in the mirror.

Back to the ugly men, the Fro-master (Frodo), Hammy Sammy (Sam) and G to the G (Gandalf). During the whole hair episode they were discussing the best way to cook tatters.

"Mr. Frodo, so far that bag is only covering your fro and eyes, I'll go find some pretty wrapping paper." Sam waltzed off to do that and passed Merry and Pippin who were making out in the corner. (Icky)

"Wanna join us Sam?" Merry called in between Frenchies.

"Not today boys! I have to help Frodo disguise his ugly head," Sam answered skipping off.

We find Baromir on top of the roof in his underwear and a sports bra singing, "Bye, bye, Miss American Pie. Drove my Chevy to…"

Singing seemed to be the thing to do for we find Merry and Pippin in the room, deprived from each other by the TV show "Barney" and singing, "I love you. You love me. We're a happy family, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you. Won't you say you love me too." They've been smoking the pipe way too long.

Legolas is still admiring himself in the mirror; Aragorn is putting on make-up hopelessly. Gimli is reading a book in Elvish…upside down. Gandalf's eyes were burning from being so stupid as to take the bag off of Frodo's head. Luckily his eyebrows shaded the worst of the burn. Sam was still looking for that wrapping paper.

We fade out with the faint sound of, "You ain't nothin but a hound dog, cryin all the time." Coming from the roof.