"The Drunken Entertainer"
Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas were sailing with the green skeleton, ghost thingies. It was a long journey from the Mountain of the Dead to the Pelannor Fields where a battle was taking place. They obviously needed some entertainment. The dead people thought it would be funny to spike the two companions' water. Aragorn was on a different ship. They spiked Legolas's with a lot of tequila while he was on top deck relieving himself. He got quite thirsty. He drank a whole pint of the tequila water and drank three more after that one. He was obviously very drunk.
Legolas tore a leg off of a roasted chicken they had been eating for supper and leaped on top of the head table. He nodded as if to cue music and yelled, "Take it away boys!"
He beat his head and shook his hips to the imaginary music. He started to rap, "It's getting hot in here… so take off all your clothes…" Leggy tore off his shoes and threw them out to the audience of ghosts. He continued with his favorite rap selections until he decided to switch to rock-n-roll. At this point, Gimli climbed up on 'stage' because he was also drunk and started to dance wildly.
"Blue Moooon…you saw me standing alone…without a dream in my heart…without a love of my own" Legolas wailed extremely loudly. Gimli, obviously danced to his own music, had his clothes all torn up and his hair was really messy. He stepped back and took a running leap and hurled himself off the table into a fake mosh-pit. They began to tire out, yes even drunk people do. Leggy started to sing children's songs and they knew it was time to go. So they picked up those two drunks and carried them to their chambers.
He did this to the tune of "Old McDonald"; "Legolas is one sexy elf. E-I. E-I. O…O…OOO….." his voice is heard fading off into the distance.