4. Distraction

Charlie went back to lessons that afternoon, his mind a lot clearer than it had been. But still, no more than fifteen minutes into fourth period, the dread was already creeping its way back in.

The words he had read on that piece of paper were seared into the back of his brain.

'I know where you live.'

This new information had driven any worry about Matt away, and now Charlie could barely concentrate on anything else but the fact that the shooter knew where Nick lived.

Where Sarah Nelson, the nicest lady in the world, lived.

Where Nellie, the nicest dog in the world, lived.

As the bell rang for the end of fourth period, Charlie's phone buzzed in his pocket.

MUM (14:29): Remember we have Oliver's parents' evening tonight. We'll probably eat out somewhere after, so don't expect us home until later. Tori is sleeping at Becky's so you'll have the house to yourself. This DOES NOT MEAN your punishment is over. You are still not to leave the house or invite anyone over DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR? There's food in the fridge. Love you.

That was why Charlie found himself, an hour later, sitting on the bus with Nick beside him, feeling lighter than he had in days. He had texted Nick with the news the second after his mum's text and the pair of them had spent their fifth periods practically giddy with anticipation.

"Are you sure this is okay with your parents?" Nick asked as Charlie shut the front door behind them.

"Oh, it absolutely isn't okay with them," said Charlie. "But if Oliver has a good parents' evening, then he's probably going to be treated to a McDonald's or something after…"

Nick dropped his school bag beside his shoes and gathered Charlie up in his arms. "And since he's pretty much always a ray of sunshine?"

"We have plenty of time - Hey! Put me down!" Charlie shrieked as Nick scooped him up and ran with him into the kitchen.

He plopped him down on the counter and kissed his nose. "Tea?"

"Tea," Charlie agreed. He pulled Nick in by his shirt collar and captured his lips with his own.

"Hmm…" Nick hummed, steadying himself with his hands at Charlie's waist. "I don't think this is how you make tea…"

Half an hour later, Nick and Charlie were both sprawled out on the living room sofa, tea (finally) made, comfy clothes on, a pizza in the oven, as Charlie destroyed Nick in their third round of Mario Kart.

This had been exactly what they needed, Nick thought. Just a normal evening doing nothing together.

Only in the short moments of disconnect, when Nick went to the loo, when Charlie went to check on the pizza, when one of them turned away from the other for a moment, did Charlie's hands shake or Nick's stomach jolt.

As they sat down in front of a random film on the TV, a pizza shared between them, Nick couldn't fathom ever wanting anything more from life than this.

He reached out to grab another slice, but then realised his half of the pizza had gone already. Charlie was still nibbling carefully at his second slice.

Charlie noticed Nick withdraw his hand and smiled sadly. "You can have that. Don't worry. I'm not really that hungry."

"Are you sure?"

Charlie nodded, but Nick saw his smile disappear and removed his hand from the plate.

"No," he said. "You eat that. It's your half after all. I don't want to steal your food. Hey, what's the matter?"

Charlie's hand had started to shake over the pizza crust he was holding. It clattered to the plate between them.

"Charlie?"

"I - I can't eat any more."

Without a glance at either Nick or the plate, Charlie got up, picked up the half-empty plate, and disappeared into the kitchen.

Nick swallowed back his own nausea, and fought the urge to run after him.

He knew Charlie had a strange relationship with food. Charlie had never spoken about it, but you couldn't be close to him, to love him as much as Nick did, without noticing how little he ate.

All Nick knew was that when Charlie was especially anxious, which was a lot of the time recently, Charlie found it very, very difficult to eat.

The only solution Nick had found thus far was to gently remove Charlie to a quieter location as soon as possible. However, that only worked when they were eating in a group, or somewhere unfamiliar. Here, when it was just the two of them inside Charlie's home, Nick didn't know what to do.

At least Charlie had managed two slices, Nick thought.

And several minutes later, Charlie returned. There was now a mischievous sort of glint in Charlie's eye and Nick saw he was hiding something behind his back.

"Nick," he sang. "I may have had the best idea ever."

"Something tells me by your tone that that might not be true."

"It's definitely the best idea I've had since inviting you over very illegally, when my parents could come home and murder me at any moment."

A flicker of darkness flitted across Charlie's blue eyes as he said the word 'murder', but a second later he pulled a bottle out from behind his back.

"Vodka!"

"Oh my God, Charlie!"

"What?" he giggled. "We need a distraction, don't we? And I swear this has been sitting in the back of the cupboard since before Oliver was born. It won't be missed."

Before Nick could voice any of the several concerns he had, Charlie dragged him into the kitchen and then he was shoving a glass into Nick's hands.

Nick sniffed the liquid gingerly. It didn't smell of anything in particular. If he had to describe it, all he could think was that it smelled like alcohol…

Charlie watched him eagerly for a moment, his own glass clutched in his still shaking hands. But then his face fell and his shoulders drooped in shame.

"You don't have to drink that, Nick. I'm sorry -"

Nick took a tentative sip - and immediately made a face. The taste was worth it though, because Charlie burst into laughter.

"What's it like?"

"It tastes like metal."

Charlie eyed his own glass with slightly more trepidation than before. "Have you ever drank before?"

"My mum lets me have beer sometimes," said Nick. "Like at Christmas."

"Lucky. My parents have never let me try it. They're so strict about stuff like that."

"Well," said Nick, grinning. "Your parents aren't here now."

Charlie stole himself and took a sip.

It was Nick's turn to burst into laughter.

"That is disgusting!" Charlie exclaimed. "Literally why would anyone pay for that?"

"I think you're meant to mix it with something."

Nick went to the fridge and rummaged around for a moment, then pulled out a two-litre bottle of diet lemonade. "Here."

"You do realise that's Tori's life force, don't you?"

Nick's face dropped in fright, but Charlie smiled as he took the bottle and started pouring.

"Oh no," said Nick. "Will she be mad at us?"

Charlie laughed. "I'm sure she'll live. There are, like, two other full bottles in there anyway."

Mixed with the lemonade, the vodka still tasted pretty terrible but the metallic edge had been taken off and it was now much more drinkable - At least that was what they told themselves as they continued to drink, leaning against the breakfast bar, flirting between sips.

Steadily, the mixture became more and more palatable.

Charlie was surprised when he found his glass empty, and also strangely disappointed. As he poured them both a second glass full, he noticed distantly that his hands were perfectly steady.

For the first time in days, for maybe the first time in his life, Nick's head felt wonderfully empty of negative thoughts. Everything seemed brighter. The light reflecting in the glass in his hand, the cool smoothness of the linoleum beneath his socked feet, the beauty of the boy across from him as he giggled over the rim of his own glass.

"I think I fancy you even more when I'm drunk…" Nick found his own voice came out a lot slower than normal. He also found he didn't care. "... and that's saying something because I already fancy you a lot."

Charlie laughed a little too loudly, running a finger down Nick's chest. "Are you trying to get into my pants, Nicholassss?"

"I don't think I'd fit, Charlessss…"

Nick leaned forward so that their noses bumped together, and Charlie giggled again, cheeks deliciously rosy.

"I could make you… fit."

Nick made to close the torturous gap between them but at the last second, Charlie stumbled away, out of his grasp and ran, laughing loudly, out of the room, the vodka bottle swinging wildly in his hand.

"But you'll have to catch me first!"

Sliding in his socks, Nick sprinted around the door frame and skidded into the living room just in time to see Charlie tumble spectacularly over a side table, stub his toe painfully and land in a heap which Nick's reflexes were too inhibited to stop.

Charlie settled back comfortably against the carpet, giggling still.

"It's okay!" Charlie shouted. He lifted the bottle into the air. "It didn't break!"

Nick swooped down to kneel at his side, and grabbed Charlie's foot. "You hurt your foot! Oh nooo!"

"Yeah," Charlie giggled. "Ouchie."

But then he realised there were tears in Nick's eyes.

"Noooo, Niiiick, don't cryyy! Be happyyyy!"

"I don't want you to die, Char," Nick whined. "Not ever."

Charlie giggled as Nick kissed his stubbed toes.

"I'll tryyy!" he yelled, getting to his feet. "But that s-silly - b-bad man - w-with the - bang bang - he wants to kill us both probably, Nicholassss."

Tears continued to stream with fresh abandon down Nick's cheeks as he watched Charlie stumble about, cackling a little madly.

Nick felt his heart twist horribly in his chest but then Charlie pulled him to his feet, whispering loudly - "Dance with me!" - and then music was playing, and Nick's head was clear and free and everything was beautiful again.

As they danced around the living room, singing loudly and twirling each other about, there wasn't a doubt in either of their minds that the world was anything but perfect.

Toward the bottom of their fourth glass, the music switched to a slow song and their wild party fizzled out.

Nick rested his forehead against Charlie's, and their dancing morphed into a slow sway. He let his head fall onto Charlie's shoulder and Charlie cuddled him closer.

"There's something I really need to tell you," Charlie whispered.

"Mmm?" Nick mumbled.

"I keep meaning to tell you but then I chicken out at the last minute. It's so important and I feel so stupid because it's not really that important… at least you probably don't think so… it's just me and my brain making things bigger than they are… but I really want to tell you!"

Charlie huffed in frustration.

Nick lifted his head to look at him. "If it's important, just tell me. I bet it's not stupid either."

"But it's embarrassing!" Charlie hid his face in Nick's shoulder. "You'll laugh at me!"

"Just tell me!" Nick giggled.

"Nooo!" Charlie whined. "You'll laugh at me and then break up with me and then -!"

"Chaaarlieee!" Nick shouted even louder and they both dissolved into a fresh wave of giggles.

Charlie leant a little too heavily into Nick and they both tumbled over, together this time, and luckily, onto the sofa and not the floor. Charlie shrieked when Nick looked like he was about to land on him, but even in his drunken state, Nick still managed to make sure didn't crush the smaller boy, limbs landing strategically on either side of him.

For a few glorious, rose-tinted moments, Charlie gazed longingly up at his golden retriever of a boyfriend, and then Nick's lips crashed into his own.

Apparently, they had both found their number one favourite thing to do while drunk.

Every technique had gone out the window, along with every ounce of self-doubt or inhibition.

The whole thing was wet and sloppy. They were both a mess of uncoordinated tongues and limbs and fingers, but the giggles escaping between vodka-lemon flavoured kisses spurred them on until Charlie found himself being flipped over so he was on top of Nick and warm hands were trailing under his shirt.

Nick moaned delectably against Charlie's mouth. A toe-tingling shiver ran through Charlie as the front door slammed in the distance.

They froze.

"Charlie Spring, turn that music down!"

Nick dropped his hands from Charlie's waistband. Before Charlie's intoxicated brain could fully comprehend what was happening, Nick pushed him away from him unceremoniously. Nick flopped himself onto the armchair on the other side of the room just as Jane, Julio and Oliver Spring all stepped into the living room.

All three of them stood there for a horrifying moment, staring open-mouthed at the ruffled state of the two boys in front of them.

"Nick!" Oliver cried.

"Mum!" yelled Charlie.

"What on earth is going on here?" Jane shouted as Julio moved to turn the music off.

"Hi, Nick!" Oliver exclaimed excitedly. "Will you play tractors with me? Please?"

Oliver looked as if he wanted to throw himself into Nick's lap but his plans were foiled at the last moment by his dad, who hauled him out of the room. "Come on, Olly. Let's go upstairs."

"But -" Oliver whined.

"I'll play tractors with you," said Julio.

"Let's go!"

Oliver jumped onto his dad's back and continued to bap him over the head all the way up the stairs. The littlest Spring's delighted laughter almost drowned out the giggle which escaped Charlie's mouth. He staggered to his feet and, through his drunken haze, flopped his arms around his mum's shoulders and leaned in to hug her. Jane was still getting over her initial shock.

"Hi, mum," Charlie said as he clung to her. He stumbled a little but she did nothing to help support his weight. "You are so warm."

"Are you drunk?" Jane flicked her eyes to the mantelpiece where the half empty vodka bottle had been discarded. She pursed her lips into the thinnest line yet. "You are. I can smell it on you. Do you think this is clever, Charlie?"

"Why are you always so meeaan?" Charlie whined, trying to cuddle up closer to her.

Jane took hold of both her son's wrists and promptly removed him from her person. Charlie stumbled away, backwards and landed hard on the sofa. He giggled weakly.

"You are not clever," Jane barked. "And you are not funny, Charlie."

Charlie groaned and clutched his throbbing head. "Ouch. Mum…"

"I don't know what I've done to deserve such an utter lack of disrespect from you. My instructions meant nothing to you, did they? Have you decided that you're mentally stable enough to make your own decisions now, Charlie? Well, guess what? You aren't. And you never will be, especially if you carry on like this. You are so selfish, I -"

"Shut up!"

Jane froze.

Charlie looked up through his tears in shock. His bottom lip stopped but his hands continued to tremble.

Nick, who had been mildly observing everything up until this point, looked distinctly alarmed that he had been the one to speak.

Jane glared at him.

"Young man, I do not appreciate being shouted at in my own home!" she shouted. "You are as much to blame for this as my idiot of a son, and I would think twice about talking to me like that again!"

"Stop -" Charlie sniffled. "Stop shouting at him."

Jane opened her mouth to retort but stopped when her husband appeared in the doorway again. There was a calm sort of disappointment on his face but a flicker of amusement in the corner of his eye. He strode over to Nick and helped him to his feet.

"Come on, son," he said kindly. "Let's get you home."

"Charlie -" Nick mumbled as Julio pulled him steadily toward the door.

"You'll see Charlie again at some point in the future," Julio chuckled. "It might not be until you're both in your thirties, but I expect there will come a time when Charlie is not still grounded."

The front door snapped shut behind them.

Charlie turned to face plant onto the very inviting sofa cushions but before he could manage it, Jane caught him roughly under the arms and tried to heft him to his feet.

"Bed," she barked. "Now."

Charlie tried to steady himself against his mum's shoulders, his head protesting painfully again. His chest heaved with what he thought was more tears but then, with a lurch, Charlie threw up all over himself and his mum.

With a cry of disgust, Jane let go of him, and Charlie landed in a heap on the sofa again.

"Fine," Jane hissed. "Fine. Sleep there for all I care. Lord knows you did this to yourself, Charlie. Now you have to live with the consequences."

Charlie only distantly noticed his mum leaving the room, leaving him alone to stew in his vomit-soaked clothes.

He sniffled weakly and rolled over slowly. He noticed the blue sleeve of Nick's hoodie hanging over the arm of the sofa. Charlie tugged it toward him and buried his face in it. Somewhere between the alcohol and vomit, it still smelt like home.

Charlie opened his eyes blearily, but shut them again quickly. His head throbbed painfully against the sudden harsh rays of light, which were streaming through the uncurtained windows.

With a groan, he rolled over - and landed with a thump on the rug.

He blinked around in confusion, then remembered that he had not been sleeping in his bed, but had spent the night on the sofa in the living room.

"Ow…" he mumbled, clutching his head.

Slowly and methodically, Charlie got himself to his feet. He noticed the hoodie lying crumpled on the sofa beside him and picked it up. He buried his aching head in it and inhaled deeply.

The acrid smell that assaulted his nostrils made him want to cry. This kind of betrayal was too much for this early in the morning.

Charlie looked down miserably at his t-shirt and found it was stained with his own puke. Before his empty stomach decided to add to the mess, Charlie dragged himself up the stairs and climbed dejectedly into the shower.

He leant his forehead against the cool ceramic of the wall tiles and screwed his eyes shut tight.

Stupid. Useless. Fucking disgusting.

Charlie stood under the water like that for several long minutes until he finally found the effort to actually wash himself properly. He chucked his soiled clothes into the washing basket, along with Nick's hoodie (which felt like a crime but, alas, it had been contaminated). He brushed his teeth twice but entirely ignored his hair - What would be the point?

He was just staring at his bed, debating whether or not he could get away with spending the whole day in it, when -

Knock knock knock.

Charlie cringed at the sudden harsh noise. Then his bedroom door creaked open and Tori poked her head in.

"Mum says you have to come down to breakfast. Now." She rolled her eyes. "Or else."

"I'm not hungry," said Charlie.

His stomach rumbled loudly.

"She's very insistent, I'm afraid. She seems to have made it her personal mission to get us all to sit down together and eat breakfast as a family." Tori sighed. "As if that will solve all our problems… Please come down, Charlie. Don't make me sit through it alone - again."

With a last longing look toward his bed, Charlie nodded and followed his sister downstairs, the idea of water and paracetamol carrying him along.

The other three Springs were sitting around the kitchen table when Charlie and Tori entered. The table was set with an impressive spread of thick, fluffy pancakes and a variety of colourful toppings to choose from.

Tori took her seat but Charlie made a beeline for the medicine cupboard, keeping his head down. But he should have known better than to think that would be all it took for him to go unnoticed.

"I'd like you to come and sit down, please, Charlie," said Jane.

"Hang on," he muttered, filling a glass of water from the sink.

"Now, please."

"I'm coming," Charlie huffed.

He flung two tablets down his throat, took several gulps of water, then allowed his legs to move him toward the table, where he sat heavily down beside Oliver. His little brother was covered in the remnants of the two pancakes he had already eaten and was cheerfully devouring a third.

"Make sure you eat them before they get cold," said Julio with a smile as he slid two pancakes onto Charlie's plate. "Would you like some strawberries?"

Charlie didn't reply, so Julio placed the bowl closer to Charlie's plate so he could decide for himself.

"Thank you," Charlie mumbled, a little delayed, but otherwise grateful for his dad's calm demeanour.

On the other hand, his mum had that far too familiar air of disappointment and disgust which seemed to follow her whenever she was in Charlie's presence.

Charlie did his best to ignore his mum's gaze and focused on drinking his water. The coolness seemed to be clearing his head a bit, enough that he suddenly started to remember some of the joy he had felt last night.

Up until that point Charlie had been feeling pretty stupid about what he and Nick had done, but now, his mind was flooding with dizzy memories of dancing around the living room, of carefree laughter, of lemonade enthused kisses… of Nick's reckless defiance as he stood up against Charlie's mum.

Charlie laughed. Jane glared at him and Tori glanced at him in confusion, but he found it suddenly easy to ignore them both.

Charlie picked up a strawberry and gingerly took a tiny bite. The sweetness was, for once, welcome and before he knew it, he had eaten half the bowl full.

Last night had been well needed and well deserved, Charlie thought. It had been nice to not have to think for a while, even if he knew it couldn't last forever.

'I know where you live.'

Charlie tried to shake the words out of his head but only succeeded in making it throb painfully again. Apparently, no amount of alcohol could remove them entirely.

Suddenly, Charlie wanted nothing more than to speak to Nick and make sure he was okay.

Even if he had gotten home safely last night, just how safe was he in his own home?

Charlie abandoned the forkful of pancakes he had been working on and looked up bravely. "Mum?"

"Hm?" She didn't look up from her food.

"I was just wondering," he said, as sweetly as he could. "May I please have my phone back? Just for five minutes?"

Jane finally met his eye across the table. "Don't you act all innocent now, young man. You will get your phone back when I say you can, and no sooner."

Julio got up and started to clear the table. "Don't worry, Charlie," he said. "I made sure your friend got home safely. I delivered him in one piece into his mother's disappointed arms."

Charlie made to get up, to help his dad with the dishes, but Jane shot him another glare.

"Sit back down," she snapped. "I want you to stay where I can see you today, Charlie. You obviously can't be trusted to be left to your own devices. You will go and get your homework and then you will sit here at the table while I do my own."

"Good morning." Sarah greeted Nick calmly as he shuffled quietly into the kitchen.

The first thing he had seen when he had opened his eyes, other than the time (11:05), was a large glass of water and a box of paracetamol waiting for him on his bedside table. Despite having slept for so long, it had not been restful sleep and Nick was exhausted.

"Morning," he mumbled as he reached for the bread bin.

"I wouldn't eat too much right now, baby, it's nearly lunchtime."

"Just some toast…"

Stringing more than a few words together was proving difficult this morning.

Sarah waited patiently for Nick to finish his final bite of toast before she picked up her tea, cradled it between her hands and fixed her son with a look he could read all too well.

All Nick could do was sit there and take it.

"I am very disappointed in you, Nicky." She sipped her tea. "I realise that teenagers are going to be teenagers. Goodness knows I put up with enough of this sort of behaviour from David, but I must say, I always thought you were above such things."

"I'm so sorry, mum."

"I know you are, baby," Sarah smiled through her displeasure. "And that's the difference between you and your brother, thank goodness. I want you to have fun and enjoy your youth but, even though you might feel grown-up, you are still under age. Not to mention that Charlie is a whole year and a half younger than you, remember?"

Nick tried to swallow down his shame.

How could he have been so stupid to let the situation get so out of hand?

He'd be lying if he said the night had been a complete disaster, but the echo of Charlie's drunken laughter was distorted in Nick's fuzzy memories by something dark… something disturbing.

"... that s-silly - b-bad man - w-with the - bang bang - he wants to kill us both probably…"

Nick pulled out his phone and sent a 'Good morning. How are you feeling? ❤️❤️' text to Charlie before he remembered the other boy didn't even have his phone right now.

He sighed, staring at the Charlie smiling up at him from his profile picture.

Charlie had said something else worrying last night. He had been rambling, really, about something important he had been meaning to tell Nick for a while… something that he thought might make Nick want to break up with him…

Nick was just thinking that such a thing couldn't exist when his mum broke him out of his reverie.

"Why don't you come and walk Nellie with me? It might do you some good to get some fresh air, hm?"

"Yeah." Nick nodded. "Yeah, okay."

'Project Big Happy Family' turned out to extend past breakfast, past lunch and dinner.

Usually, the three Spring siblings would be allowed to disappear off into their rooms at this time of the evening, but, alas, today Jane would not have it. She had insisted that they all sit down in the living room together and watch the evening news.

Tori sat at one end of the sofa, not-so-discreetly playing a game on her phone. Oliver had been allowed to sit on the rug and play with his tractors.

Charlie, on the other hand, had no phone or tractors to distract himself, and was left to curl up in the armchair and try not to fall asleep. His hangover had finally cleared but today had been long and boring and he was very eager for it to be over.

"Two teenagers have been found dead…" the news reader was saying.

Charlie lifted his head from the arm of the chair to stare in horror at the screen.

"Sixteen-year-old Matthew Osmond and fifteen-year-old Bethany Tooke were found yesterday evening in the car park of a major supermarket. It is believed by police that the teenaged couple had been skipping school to smoke behind the recycling bins in the car park…"

School photos of Matt and his girlfriend flashed up on the screen.

Charlie saw them as if from far away. The room spun. He tried to gulp down several insufficient lungfuls of air.

"At around 2pm yesterday afternoon, several customers of the supermarket reported hearing several gunshots coming from nearby, although none reported seeing anyone acting suspiciously. The police's investigation is already well underway but no suspect has been found yet. Officer Ryan Kane is here to give us more details…"

"Oh, Charlie," came his dad's voice. "Did you know them?"

Julio got up from the sofa to crouch by Charlie's side, but Charlie saw him only distantly. His ears were ringing louder than he knew how to cope with. He didn't even feel the hand Julio placed on his knee. And then his dad pulled him into a hug.

Charlie let himself hang there limply over the man's shoulder, vaguely aware of the wetness on his cheeks.

"Can I have my phone?"

Julio drew away sympathetically. He seemed as if he was going to comply but then a look from his wife made him avert his gaze. Jane made herself very clear without even a single word this time.

But nobody tried to stop Charlie as he got up and left the room.

"Oh my goodness. Is that Matt Osmond?"

Nick sat stock still on the sofa, Nellie snoozing in his lap. Sarah had a hand over her mouth in horror. Nick wanted to be sick.

Charlie had been right.

He usually was, of course, but…

They had tried to convince themselves that things were not as bad as they seemed, tried to distract themselves from thinking about the possibility that this sort of thing might actually happen.

Nellie whined and licked Nick's chin. He gripped his hands around her fur, trying to ground himself enough to stop himself from falling apart. A few tears dripped into the dog's fur.

"Oh, baby…" Sarah moved at once to sit beside him on the sofa and folded him into her arms. Nick found himself clinging to his mum like he hadn't done since he was little.

"Oh, what a horrible thing to have happened," she whispered, rubbing his back. "I know he was your friend…"

"No -" Nick gasped, and suddenly, he couldn't stand being touched. He stood up quickly and began to pace, restlessly, trying to breathe through his rising panic. "No. Not anymore. Not for a while… he was… not very nice…"

Considering the last interaction Charlie had had with Matt and the rest of Nick's ex-friends, this was an understatement.

Sarah grimaced sadly. "Hmm… I never did particularly like those boys. I never thought they were the sort of friends I would have chosen for you but, I never liked to judge. Still, their poor parents… I can't imagine…"

Nick stopped his pacing and looked at his mum. Nellie licked her tear-stained cheek, and Nick's own tears flowed more freely.

"I just -" He gulped away a sudden sob. "I need - I can't -"

"What do you need, Nicky?" Sarah gazed across at him in heightened concern. "Please tell me, dear. I want to help."

"I just -" Nick sank back down onto the sofa. Nellie immediately rested her head back in his lap. "I just really need to talk to Charlie."

Sarah sighed sadly. "Oh, baby. You know that's not possible right now."

"I know."

Nick slipped a hand into his hoodie pocket and wrapped his fingers around his phone. It was the closest he could get to contact with Charlie…

He wondered whether Charlie had seen the news yet.

His stomach lurched at the thought of Charlie being alone and isolated while trying to process the same information Nick was.

Nick knew Charlie was heavily inclined to blame himself for things that weren't his fault. Usually, Nick was there to help him contain the spiral but now, there was nothing he could do but worry.

"Charlie's a really special friend, isn't he?"

Nick blinked up at his mum, remembering she was there with him.

"Yeah," he breathed. "He is."

A jumble of school books and equipment spilled out of the red bag onto Charlie's bed. He wrenched open his wardrobe door and tossed the empty bag inside. He made sure to cover it nicely with an assortment of junk and, without a second look, slammed the doors shut again, avoiding his own reflection in the mirrored door.

Charlie then dove toward the storage boxes under his bed.

He found what he was looking for quickly enough, and emerged again, blinking away the recurring image of a body falling into his eyeline, blank eyes staring into his soul.

Thankfully, Charlie's old grey school bag was still in pretty good condition. He dumped his school things into it, zipped it back up and discarded it into a corner.

He flopped down onto his bed and stared at the shadows above it.

There was a certain dull ache inside him, a kind of weird stillness, but the movement of his task seemed to have erased everything else.

Distantly, Charlie knew he should be panicking.

He should be distraught.

Two people were dead because of him.

Two silent tears slid sideways down onto his pillow.

He had no idea how long he lay there on top of the covers, but when a knock at the door reached his muffled ears, it was fully dark outside.

Charlie blinked slowly. He was aware of Tori speaking to him, but it was as if he were under water.

She moved into the room and placed something down on the bedside table. Charlie turned his head and saw it was a glass of diet lemonade.

He stared at it through the dim light. Tori had switched on a lamp. Charlie blinked.

Something cold pressed into his hand. Something rectangular and metallic.

He let out a breath.

Several more tears chased the last ones down his cheeks as he realised what it was.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Get some sleep, okay?"

The door clicked shut behind her.

Charlie clutched his phone tightly. His thumb knew how to get him what he needed.

The sudden vibration in Nick's hand made him jump. He drew it out of his pocket. The name and picture lighting up the screen also lit up his heart.

"I'm going upstairs," he exclaimed. "Goodnight."

"Oh," said Sarah, a little alarmed. "Okay then. Goodnight, baby."

"Bork!" said Nellie.

But Nick didn't hear her.

He shut his bedroom door and flung himself onto his beanbag chair. He picked up halfway through the second ring -

"Charlie! You have your phone back!"

"You know he killed them."

Nick's heart sank. He could hear the quaver in Charlie's voice.

"It's never going to stop. All the killing. It's never going to stop and it's all my fault."

"There's nothing we could have done," Nick breathed. "Please, believe that, Charlie. I need you to believe that."

Nick waited patiently for Charlie to answer. He felt the panic begin to rise in him again when he was met by nothing but silence.

"Talk to me, Char - I really need to hear your voice right now. I need to know you're alright."

"I - I -" Charlie gulped back a heart-wrenching sob. "I can't feel - anything. Nick - I think there's something wrong with me. I've been lying on my bed for the last, like, two hours and I didn't even notice - it was like I wasn't even here."

"But you are here, Charlie," Nick whispered. "Want to know how I know that?"

Charlie sniffed. "How?"

"I can feel you."

Charlie snorted.

Nick's heart leapt. "Shut up, you. I'm trying to be comforting," he teased.

"No, go on, go on," said Charlie. "Tell me how exactly you can feel me through the phone."

"Charlie! That is not what I meant!" But Nick beamed. "What I was going to say was that - I can feel you all the time. Even at times like this when we're apart, I know you're still with me even if I can't physically feel you. And if… if you did stop existing, I think I would know."

Silence.

"That's all."

"Nick Nelson…" said Charlie, breathless. "I think I -"

"Yeah?"

"I think that I… must be dating a tree. The amount of sap that comes out of your mouth. Seriously, you should get that checked."

And then they were both laughing.

They would be okay.

"So," said Nick. "How did you get your phone back? I'm assuming your mum didn't un-ground you."

"No," Charlie sighed as he rolled onto his side. "Tori stole it back for me. I don't know how long I'm going to get away with this though, so we'd better make the most of it. I'm in even deeper shit now, after last night."

"My mum wasn't too pleased with me either," said Nick. "But luckily, I only have to be better than David to avoid too much punishment, and that's not exactly hard. How… how much do you remember from last night?"

Charlie groaned. "Ugh! Not enough to know why my little toe is now bruised to shit."

"Oh no," Nick chuckled. "How could you have forgotten such a spectacular fall?"

"Hey!" Charlie laughed. "Don't mock my pain! My brain seems to have decided to remember some of the slightly more favourable aspects of the evening. Including a few featuring your delightful singing and my tongue down your throat."

"Oh, yeah. I think I remember something like that…"

Charlie's giggles flooded into Nick's bruised soul and curled up there.

"Charlie, did I -?" Nick screwed up his face at another memory. "I think I shouted at your mum."

"Oh my God!" Charlie cackled. "You did! Nick! I can't believe you did that!"

"Neither can I, honestly. I think - I think she was shouting at you and you looked so sad and I couldn't stop myself. Ugh!" Nick flopped onto his bed. "She's going to hate me even more than she already does."

"Nobody could hate you, Nick," said Charlie, overly sweetly. "Not even my mum - who might possibly hate her own son."

"She doesn't hate you. She's just -"

"A terrible parent?"

"Well, I wasn't going to say it but… I do hate the way she speaks to you, Charlie. The number of times I've had to bite my tongue to stop myself from yelling at her… At least I got to do it that one time while I was drunk, I suppose."

"Yeah," said Charlie, smiling. "Thank you for defending my honour. Again."

"Always."

Their mutual sighs mingled in the empty space between the phones as they both lay back on their beds in the dim light.

"I miss you."

"I miss you."

Nick sighed. "I should probably get ready for bed."

"Me too."

Neither of them moved.

"I don't want to stop talking to you," said Charlie. "Ever."

"Me neither."

"Maybe we could FaceTime?"

"You are a genius, Charlie. I knew there was a reason I kept you around."

"I do try… Now, I'm going to go and get ready for bed and then we are going to snuggle under the covers together and talk all night long."

"Sounds perfect," Nick grinned. "See you in a bit!"

"See you!"

"Bye!"

"Hang up, then."

"No, you!"

"No, you!"

"Charlie!"

Five minutes later, Nick and Charlie snuggled up under their respective duvets.

Nothing reassured Charlie that he was, in fact, still in existence more than the feelings that rushed through him at the sight of Nick's face on the screen.

"Hi."

"Hi."

Thanks so much for reading! I appreciate it so much :D Leave a nice comment if you like x