Chapter 16: Sad Goodbyes

Michelle turned restlessly in her bed at the safe house as she fought to wake herself from a nightmare. She was dreaming that she was in labor and that she couldn't find Tony to tell him. It seemed like an eternity before she woke with a start. Sophie was sitting on the bed next to her; her little hand resting on her mother's shoulder. Michelle's heart was pounding and she was breathing rapidly as she tried to catch her breath.

"Mommy, were you having a bad dream?" Sophie asked her.

Michelle sat up in the dark room as her breathing slowed. She wiped beads of sweat from her forehead and looked at the clock. Two fifty-two a.m. "Yeah, I guess I was." Michelle answered. She pulled Sophie into her arms and kissed the top of her head. She had tucked Sophie into a bed in the next room at 8:30 and didn't remember the child climbing into bed with her. "When did you get in bed with me?"

"I don't know, a little while ago. I woke up and I was scared so I came in here with you."

"Why were you scared?" Michelle asked her.

Sophie shrugged. "I don't know. I guess 'cause Daddy's not here and I want him to come home."

"Me, too Baby" Michelle told her. She hugged Sophie who had her white bear tucked firmly under her arm. "Let's try and go back to sleep."

The two lay down and closed their eyes. Sophie snuggled close to her mother. For Michelle, having her daughter lying beside her, so dependent on her, made her realize just how alone she was right now and how much responsibility fell on her shoulders. Slowly she was beginning to admit to herself that she would probably never see Tony again. She soon would have to face the reality of raising their children alone. She stroked her belly as she thought about spending hours in labor without having Tony to make her smile and encourage her. Her mother-in-law and sister-in-law, Vanessa would be there for her as they were when Sophie was born, but it wasn't the same. She suddenly felt very guilty about spending the first months of the pregnancy not wanting the baby and wondered briefly if Tony's kidnapping was her punishment for not wanting his child. She tried to tell herself that God didn't work that way, but the thought was unsettling just the same.

The house was quiet. Sophie had drifted off to sleep and Michelle listened to the soft sound of her breathing. She had been awake for fifteen minutes now and knew there was little hope of her going back to sleep. Why does night have to be so long? She wondered. She considered getting up to check on the boys who were asleep in the room down the hall, but didn't want to disturb Sophie by getting out of bed. So she laid back trying to forget the nightmare she just had and the one that she was living.

As she lay still, she was surprised to feel some cramping start low in her pelvis. The cramping increased in intensity and spread upward. Michelle found herself clutching her pillow as she rolled on her side, away from Sophie, to try and relieve the pain. She groaned, unable to control the sound coming from deep in her throat. The groan was enough to wake Sophie who sat up and reached for her mother.

"Mommy, what's wrong? Does something hurt? Why did you make that noise?"

Slowly the pain abated and Michelle took in some deep breaths. She had been in labor enough times to know that this was not a false contraction. It was the kind you have shortly before delivery. Panic started to spread through her as she realized that the nightmare she was having earlier was based in reality: she was in labor. At barely six months into the pregnancy, it was way too early to have the baby.

"I had some pain in my stomach, Honey." Michelle said trying to sound in control. "It's gone now, but I think I'm going to get out of bed for a while. You go back to sleep." As she sat up, Michelle felt a warm rush of fluid that covered her thighs. She recognized the sensation of her water breaking and amniotic fluid flowing out. She took a deep breath and tried to think.

"Sophie, I need you to do me a favor. Run downstairs and tell one of the agents that I need to see them right away. Then go and wake Grandma and ask her to come upstairs, too. Can you do that?"

"What's wrong, Mommy? Why do you need Grandma?" Sophie's eyes filled with tears as she clutched her bear ever closer. "Mommy, I'm scared." She said as she started to cry.

"Sweetie, I'm okay, but I think that baby may be coming. You don't have to be scared, but I need you to go get one of the agents and Grandma." Sophie nodded, jumped from the bed and took off running down the steps.

It was less than a minute when Michelle heard an agent running up the steps. "Mrs. Almeida," the young woman said. "Sophie said you needed someone."

"Yeah," Michelle said no longer quite as calm as she had been with Sophie. "I need you to get me to the hospital. My water just broke and I'm having contractions."

The young agent who had obviously never had a baby looked clueless.

"I'm in labor." Michelle explained succinctly.

The agent paled not sure what to say or do. "Should I call an ambulance?" She finally asked.

"I don't think that's necessary." Michelle told her. "But I think you need to get me to a hospital as quickly as possible."

The agent went downstairs to get a car ready and to notify CTU of what was going on. They would have to send agents to protect Michelle at the hospital.

By now Tony's mother had entered the room and rushed to Michelle's side. "Honey, what's going on? Sophie said you're going to have the baby."

Michelle nodded. She bit her bottom lip to stop it from quivering. "I'm having strong contractions. Can you help me clean up and get dressed? A CTU agent can take me to the hospital."

Tears began to trickle down Michelle's face as her mother-in-law helped her out of bed and into the bathroom. "This is all my fault. I didn't want this baby at first and now look at what's happening. Tony's been kidnapped and the baby's going to be born prematurely. This is all my fault." Her mother-in-law hugged her briefly aware that Michelle needed reassurance but at the same time not wanting to waste precious time.

"Michelle, none of this is your fault. Try to pull yourself together so we can get you to the hospital. Maybe if you get there quickly, the doctor can stop the labor. I'm sure they have medicines now that will do that." Maria Almeida wished that she felt as confident as she sounded.

Michelle dressed quickly having to stop twice for contractions. She left the bedroom and headed for the stairs. Just then Sophie came running out of her own room dressed in a pair of blue jeans, a sweat shirt and sneakers, her bear held tightly in her arm.

"Mommy!" she said as she saw Michelle. "I'm going to the hospital with you." She announced. She grabbed Michelle's hand and pulled her toward the stairs.

"Oh, Honey, I don't think so. I think it would be best if you stayed here with Grandma and Grandpa. Maybe you can come to the hospital and see me in the morning."

"But I want to come with you." She said as she started to cry again. "I don't want to be away from you. Are you sure you're coming back?"

"Sophie, I don't know when I'll be home, but you can talk to me on the phone and you can come and see me." She hugged and kissed her daughter. "I love you, Sweetheart. I'll call you as soon as I can." She wiped tears from Sophie's face.

Maria Almeida took her granddaughter's hand as Michelle walked toward the door. Sophie broke loose and ran to Michelle. "Mommy," she called as Michelle stepped out onto the porch. She was holding her bear out in front of her. Michelle turned and Sophie thrust the bear into her arms. "Here. Take Argentina with you. I don't want you to be alone. He's really good at making people feel better."

Tears filled Michelle's eyes. "Thank you, Sweetie, but why don't you keep Argentina in case you feel a little lonely. I'll be okay, Sophie. I promise." She tuned and walked to the car before Sophie could see her cry.

It was around the same time that Jack arrived home. Kate and the boys were all sleeping. He found the quiet in the house refreshing after all of the commotion of the last few days. Jack stepped into the shower and stood there for a few minutes just enjoying the feel of the warm water cascading down his body. He finished washing and toweled off quickly. He walked naked into the bedroom and slipped into bed next to Kate. Kate stirred as he kissed her cheek gently.

"Hey," she said sleepily. "I didn't expect you home tonight."

"I needed a warm body to sleep next to and I didn't think Chase would fill the bill." He teased her sweetly as he kissed her forehead.

"Any word on Tony?" She asked.

"None," Jack told her.

Kate sighed sadly and snuggled close to Jack clearly planning to go back to sleep. Jack had no intention of letting her do so. He was leaving for Korea in less than twelve hours and he knew there was a chance that he wouldn't come back. Before he left he was going to make sure that his wife knew just how much he loved her. He was going to leave her with the best possible memory of him. He nuzzled her neck and kissed it. His mouth traveled down to her collar bone and he left a trail of kisses along it. Kate responded by putting her arms around him and pulling him closer. Jack moaned quietly and they found each others mouth. Kate opened her mouth as Jack planted his lips firmly on top of hers. His tongue moved insistently into her mouth and she groaned. He could feel her sucking on his tongue and he found himself instantly excited. He let his hands travel slowly down her body.

They continued to kiss and Jack pinned Kate on her back and began to undress her. As he did, he kissed her bare skin. He turned her over and massaged her back as he kissed it and explored it with his tongue. He knew every inch of her body but moved slowly across it as if looking for some tiny spot he had never touched or kissed before. Kate moaned quietly encouraging Jack to continue. She could feel how aroused he was and although he was pinning her down, she was able to raise her hips and press the back of her thigh against him making him groan louder than he intended. He turned her over again and kissed her hard as he climbed on top of her. He eased himself inside of her and let his weight rest on her. They quickly developed an intense rhythm which soon sent them both over the edge. They gasped as they tried to catch their breath, both trying to be as quiet as possible well aware that their sons were asleep down the hall. Neither spoke a word as they kissed tenderly. Jack slid off of Kate and lay on his side next to her. He stroked her body and gently fondled her breasts. Her eyes were closed; she was clearly enjoying the attention he was giving her. She fell asleep against him as he continued to pet and caress her.

Kate woke a couple of hours later to find herself alone in bed. For a second she thought she might have dreamed that she and Jack were making love but the indentation on Jack's pillow convinced her that he had been there; that it was not a dream. Besides that, she had gone to bed in a tee shirt and boxer shorts and now was naked.

Kate got up and put on her robe. She walked down the hall and found Jack sitting in the rocking chair in Ryan's nursery. He was bare-chested but had put on a pair of old jeans. He had pulled the chair close enough to the crib that he could reach through the bars and touch his small son. Kate walked in without Jack noticing her. She put her hand on his shoulder and he looked up, startled at first but then he smiled.

"You're going on a mission, aren't you, Jack?" Kate whispered.

Jack nodded as he looked into her eyes.

"Are you trying to rescue Tony?" She asked.

Again Jack nodded. "I can't sit back and do nothing, Kate. What if it were me? Tony wouldn't just let me die."

"Who else is going?"

"Chase," Jack admitted, "and some other former agents."

"Does Kim know?"

"She helped in the planning. She'll stay here and help feed us satellite information and intelligence when we're on the ground." Jack paused as Kate walked away from him.

He followed her to the kitchen. "It's a sound plan, Kate. It's well thought out and it minimizes the risks."

"Does it eliminate the risks?" Kate asked as she started to cry.

"No," Jack said as he looked at the floor. "There's no way to eliminate the risks, Kate. You know that. Life is a risk. I could be killed driving to the office in the morning."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I knew you would worry. If I could save you a few hours of worry, it was worth it to me. I love you, Kate, but this is something I have to do. If they kill Tony, I want to know I did everything that I could do. If I don't I'll never be able to look at Michelle or the kids again. Dess is our Godson, Kate. I can't let him down."

Kate nodded. She knew that it was pointless to try and talk Jack out of this. "Does Michelle know?"

"No, we thought it would be better if she didn't know. That way, she won't get her hopes up." Jack considered telling Kate about Evan Dessler but decided that it served no real purpose.

"When do you leave?" She asked.

"Our flight leaves at noon. I have to be at the airbase at 9am."

Kate nodded again not knowing what else to say. Jack smiled at her. "Let's go to bed. We both need some sleep." He reached for her hand and they walked together to their bedroom. They undressed and got under the covers. Kate reached for Jack and kissed him tearfully. They made love again. This time it was quiet and slow and the sun was rising as Kate fell asleep. She awoke to hear Ryan calling her from his crib. Jack was gone having left while she slept.

It was just after 8 o'clock and Michelle was resting in hospital bed. The doctors seemed to have gotten her contractions under control. They had slowed to about two an hour and they hoped with continued medication and bedrest that they could stop them all together. The fact that her water had broken was another concern. Normally, they told her, they liked to deliver a baby within 24 hours of membrane rupture. In this case, however, they wanted to delay delivery as long as possible. If the baby was delivered now, there was little chance for survival. If they could keep that from happening for the next four to six weeks, the baby would still be premature, but would be much more likely to live.

Michelle had nothing to do now but think. She was troubled by all that was going on. Right now her priority should be the baby she was carrying, but she was worried about her other children, especially Sophie who was obviously being affected emotionally by all that was going on. She had called Sophie twice already and tried to reassure her but found the little girl scared and withdrawn. Now Joe, too, was upset by his mother's absence and cried when he talked to her. Michelle wondered at this point if it would be better for her to have the baby, even if survival was impossible. At least then she could go home to her children who needed at least one parent. She immediately chastised herself for even thinking such a thought. Her life had turned upside down in the last few days. She and Tony and the kids had gone from such a happy existence to one filled with fear and anxiety and uncertainty. She wondered if Tony was as scared as she was. She wondered where he was and if he was in any pain. Hammond admitted that on the video he looked as though he had been beaten. Tears ran down her cheeks and she made no attempt to stop them.