Thanks again to all of you who have reviewed. Some of you have reivewed almost every chapter and I really appreciate it.
Quick personal note to the reviewer formerly known as Lobsters34 - You're right Michelle is about 5-6mo. pregnant but babies at that stage of gestation don't weigh anything near 4lbs. (Some full term babies weigh barely 5 pounds.) Also, all organ systems begin to develop in the first month but none are fully developed at that time. Lungs are among the last system to develop prior to birth. Hope that clarifies things.
So on with the story...
Chapter 19: Coming Home
Michelle climbed slowly back into bed. She pressed the button on the side rail to lower the head of the bed so that she could lie down. On her way back to her room Michelle had suggested to her mother-in-law that she go back to the safe house and help with the children. Right now they needed her more than she did. Maria protested at first but decided that this was probably Michelle's way of saying that she needed some time to herself. Michelle hugged her and said good night and watched as Maria left.
Once her mother-in-law was gone she turned out the light and lay in the dark room. The reality of how sick her baby was had begun to sink in. She should probably be crying but at the moment all of her tears seemed to have dried up. If someone had asked her what emotion she was feeling at the moment, she wouldn't have known what to tell them. She couldn't describe the emotion; it was almost as if she was numb. The trip to the neonatal intensive care unit had been mentally exhausting. She thought she was prepared to see her daughter but realized that nothing could prepare a mother to see her child that way. She curled up on her side to think through the last hour.
As she entered the unit, she was immediately struck by how warmly it was decorated. The walls and floor and counter tops were all done in soft shades of mauve and seafoam. But she found that the soft décor was merely a ruse. Nurses and doctors in mauve scrubs scurried about the unit taking care of their tiny charges. All around the room lay undersized babies with anxious parents hovering over them. Fortunate parents were able to sit in rocking chairs and hold some of the larger babies. One mother was even giving her baby a bottle.
Even viewing the other babies from a distance, it was clear to Michelle that her baby was by far the smallest. Her fragile looking legs were just a little bigger around than Michelle's fingers and her skin hung on her tiny frame as if she still needed to grow into it. She had IV lines and monitor leads everywhere and her little chest moved up and down in time with the ventilator that was doing the breathing for her. Michelle knew better than to ask if she could hold her baby but hoped that she could at least touch her. She was horrified to find that to touch her own child she had to wear gloves. It's for the baby's safety, the nurse explained. Michelle nodded, understanding of course but wanting so much just to feel her baby's skin next to her own.
Looking around the unit she noticed that all of the other babies had their names carefully stenciled on white clouds that were trimmed in either pink or blue and hung on the wall above them. The baby's nurse watched as Michelle's eyes moved slowly across the room taking in each name: Jessica, Amelia, Kevin, Tyler, Abigail…
"If you'd like I can put the baby's name up so everyone knows what to call her." The nurse said quietly.
Michelle's eyes filled with tears as she realized that she and Tony had never even discussed a name for the baby. She blinked back the tears and her mother-in-law reached for her hand and squeezed it gently. Michelle knew instantly what she would name the baby and she knew that Tony would approve.
"I'd like that." Michelle said, her voice quivering slightly. "Her name is 'Maria'."
She sat next to Maria stroking her gently with a gloved hand. Her heart swelled with love for the baby just as it had when she first touched her other three children. She didn't want to leave her side. She and Tony had spent lots of nights sitting up with one or another of their children when they were sick. Maria should be no different; she would stay with Maria as long as necessary.
Dr. Snyder eventually persuaded her that she should say good night and go back to her room. Michelle wanted to protest but knew it was pointless. They weren't going to let her sit up all night with Maria even if she did want to. So she nodded silently and promised the baby that she would be back in the morning. She told her to get well and to grow and that her Mommy and Daddy loved her and would always be there for her. She got back in the wheelchair and rode back to her room staring straight ahead but not seeing anything.
Now she lay in the darkness, the sheets cool against her skin. The events of the day, labor and childbirth and the trip to see Maria, had drained her and she welcomed the solitude. Slowly, without even realizing it was happening, Michelle closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.
It was now nearly 8:30am in Korea and Tony and Evan continued to sit in the officer's mess hall talking. More accurately, Evan was talking and Tony was listening. The story was fascinating albeit sad. Tony would have never dreamed that Michelle's father was a CIA agent let alone one of the most famous in the last fifty years. His explanation as to why he left his family, the pain that it caused him and his struggles with alcoholism gave Tony a respect for the man that he wouldn't have imagined possible just a few hours ago when they met.
Neither of them paid any attention as the time passed and the mess hall filled up with hungry officers, most back from an early morning run. Those officers had eaten their meals and gone off to duty stations and now Tony and Evan were once again alone. Private Keller kept his distance as he cleaned up tables and straightened chairs, getting ready for the lunch crowd in a couple of hours.
Tony was startled when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Ian Calvert stood next to him. "So are you two ready for a trip back to LA?" He asked them. "We can start boarding. The sooner we get packed up the sooner we get home."
Tony stood, ready to go. "Any chance I can call Michelle before we go?"
"Sorry, Tony. CTU is still rounding up Yuen's men in LA. They're hopeful that the operation should be complete my morning in LA. They know to contact us as soon as they've completed the sweep. More than likely you'll be able to call before we land. Believe me, Tony we'll have you on the phone to Michelle as soon as possible. I've made it clear to CTU that it is my top priority."
Tony thanked Ian and boarded the plane with the assault team. He grabbed a blanket, slipped into a seat and buckled himself in for take off. He settled back knowing that he had a long flight ahead of him. The plane was barely airborne when Tony fell into a deep dreamless sleep, the first he had had in days.
Michelle slept well and woke up just a little after 8 o'clock when Dr. Hild came into her room on morning rounds.
"Michelle," she said after she examined her. "You're doing fine. I'm going to discharge you this morning. I'm sure that your family needs you right now."
"I can't leave!" Michelle said indignantly. "The baby needs me here. I can't leave her alone. She needs to know that I love her and I'll always be there for her."
"You can visit her whenever you want, Michelle. But she's in very good hands. You need to take care of yourself and your other children." Dr. Hild looked into Michelle's eyes. She had known Michelle since before she was pregnant with Sophie and had grown to like both her and Tony. "Michelle, I can't imagine what you're going through right now. I really think the best thing for you is to go home and be with your family."
"You can discharge me, but you can't make me go home. I'm not leaving Maria." Michelle knew she was being irrational but couldn't help it.
Dr. Hild gave up. She wasn't going to win this argument. "You're right. I can't make you leave but I'm writing your discharge orders. What you do after discharge is up to you."
Michelle got washed and put on her robe and slippers and told her nurse that she was going to see her daughter. "Your breakfast will be here in a few minutes." The nurse told her but Michelle said that she wasn't hungry and made her way down the hall with a CTU agent in tow.
Michelle went right to Maria without taking much time to look around at the other babies. She introduced herself to the day shift nurse who seemed awfully preoccupied with checking monitors and entering numbers into the computer. Michelle watched as the young nurse pressed a stethoscope to Maria's little chest and listened. Michelle's concern grew.
"Is something wrong?" Michelle finally asked her.
The nurse sighed. "I'm going to have to call Dr. Snyder. She's not breathing as well as she was earlier. Her chest seems congested."
"What does that mean?" Michelle asked growing ever more concerned.
"She may have a little fluid in her lungs or she could have pneumonia."
"Those both sound bad." Michelle said
"Let's wait and see. It could be nothing." The nurse smiled at her, but Michelle wasn't convinced.
She stayed as close to the baby as possible but soon found that she was in the way. Dr. Snyder and another doctor came to examine Maria and an x-ray technician with a huge portable x-ray machine came to do a chest x-ray. The nurse suggested gently but firmly that it might be better if Michelle went back to her room and told her that they would call her if anything changed.
When Michelle got back to her room, she found Tony's sister Vanessa waiting for her. She told Vanessa about her visit with the baby when a knock on the door interrupted their conversation. Father Marty entered the room.
"Michelle," he said as he hugged her. "Tony's mother called me late last night to tell me that you had the baby. I would have gotten here sooner but I had to say morning Mass. Everybody at the church is so worried about you. The Ladies' Sodality had a prayer service for Tony and your family last evening. I've had so many calls from parishioners wanting to know how they can help you." He indicated the small case in his hand. "I thought you might like to have the baby baptized, so I brought everything with me."
Michelle didn't know where the sudden burst of emotion came from, but all of the sudden she was angry; angrier than she had ever been before. "How dare you! How dare you!" Michelle said loudly. "Take your imaginary God and get out of here!"
Michelle's shouting brought the CTU agents into the room. "Is there a problem, Mrs. Almeida?"
"No, it's fine. Thank you. I can deal with it." She told the agent. Michelle then turned her attention and wrath back to Father Marty who stood before her completely shocked.
"Michelle," Father Marty said in a hurt but calm voice. "You're angry right now. It's okay. You're allowed to be angry with God. I'm angry with Him myself."
Michelle wasn't listening. "You preach about a loving God." She said, her voice seething with rage. "You even convinced me, Marty. But it's a lie and you know it. What kind of a loving God would ever do this to us? Tony doesn't deserve what is happening to him. Maria doesn't deserve to be lying in an ICU barely alive. Sophie and Joe and John don't deserve to have their father taken away from them. But your God doesn't seem to have any problem with it. If He did, He would have stopped it. How can you even look at me? I can't believe that I ever let myself actually believe the lies you fed me. I want you to get out of here. I don't ever want to see you again. Don't come near my children or me ever again." Michelle's voice had risen steadily until she was screaming and sobbing hysterically at the priest who made no attempt to stop her or to defend himself.
Vanessa was now beside Michelle and put her arms around her. "Stop, Michelle. You don't mean that. You're just upset."
Michelle shrugged her sister-in-law away. "Get away! You're on his side. I want you both out of here NOW!" She shouted. She grabbed the doorknob and yanked it open. "Get them out of here." She told the CTU agents.
"Michelle, calm down." Father Marty told her. "We'll leave, but you have to calm down." Michelle sobbed loudly and uncontrollably.
The commotion had drawn the attention of the hospital staff. One of the older nurses rushed over to the scene that had now spilled out into the hallway. "I have to ask you to leave." She said to Father Marty and Vanessa. "Mrs. Almeida, let's go into your room. You need to calm down."
"No," Michelle screamed. "I don't want to calm down! I don't want to go back in my room! I want everyone to leave me alone and I want to see my baby." Michelle pushed the nurse away and started running toward the hallway but the CTU agents quickly caught up to her.
Each agent took one of her arms and held her firmly. She fought against them for a few seconds but it was useless. They were too strong and she was much too hysterical to put up any kind of effective physical effort. She let them take her back to her room as she sobbed. By then two nurses and the doctor on-call were there. They closed the door and tried to talk to her. It was futile. Michelle was crying so hard that she had dry heaves. The doctor whispered something to one of the nurses who left the room for a moment. She returned with a syringe in her hand.
"Mrs. Almeida, I'm going to give you something to help you calm down." The doctor told her as he tried to push up her sleeve without success. Michelle was flailing hard against him. The two nurses rushed to help. As they pinned her to the bed one of the nurses pushed her robe and hospital gown up to expose her thigh. She swabbed it quickly with alcohol and slipped the needle into the skin. She injected the drug before Michelle could react.
Five minutes later Michelle was as hysterical as she had been before the injection. Several other staff members had come into the room and were taking turns trying to calm her. "Repeat the injection now and every five minutes until she's calm." The doctor said shaking his head amazed at how strong Michelle was.
It took three more injections to finally sedate her. Shortly after the last injection her screams diminished slowly to whimpers. The staff that was holding her down could feel her muscles relax. They watched as her breathing became slow and regular and she went to sleep.
Tony awoke to the sound of Jack's voice. "Tony, Tony wake up." Jack said. "Ian is going to connect you with the safe house so you can talk to your family."
Tony sat up trying to get his bearings. It all came back quickly and he knew he was on a plane that would finally take him home. "How far are we from LA?"
"We're still about four hours out."
"What time is it in LA?" Tony asked still somewhat disoriented from being woken from such a deep sleep.
"It's about 1pm there." Jack told him.
Tony walked to the back of the plane where Ian was talking on the phone. The CTU agents at the safe house had received word of the successful rescue about 15 minutes earlier. They were happy to finally deliver some good news to Tony's family. Although all of the agents knew better than to become attached to the people they were protecting, they couldn't help but fall in love with the children. Off duty agents found excuses to stay late and play games with Joe and Sophie or build block towers for Dess to gleefully knock over.
Ian finally made the connection to the safe house and handed the Tony the phone. "Mr. Almeida," one of the agents said smiling, "hold please. I think we have some people here who want to talk to you."
"Is that my Daddy?" Sophie said loudly as she ran to the agent. "Please let me talk to him."
The agent looked at Tony's mother who was coming to get the phone. She smiled at him and nodded so he handed the phone to Sophie.
"Daddy? Is it really you?" She said excitedly.
"It's me, Princess. I love you so much, Sophie." Tony's voice cracked with emotion as his eyes brimmed with tears. Jack and Chase smiled as they watched him. They had done the same thing just a few minutes earlier when they talked to their own children.
"Daddy, I missed you so much. I was so scared that you weren't going to come home. Will you be here soon?" She asked.
"Just a few more hours, Baby." By now Tony could hear Joe in the background clamoring to have a chance to talk. "Sweetie, put Joe on so I can talk to him, too."
"Okay," Sophie said reluctantly and handed the phone to her brother.
"Hi Daddy!" Joe said. "When you get home can we play catch? Nobody here plays catch as good as you do. I can't wait for you to come home."
"I'm not sure that I'll be able to play catch for a while, but I'll be home in a few hours, Buddy. Can you hold on until then?"
"I guess so." Joe answered.
"I love you, Joe. I've missed you so much. I can't wait to see you."
"I love you too, Dad. I think Sophie wants to talk again." Joe, who unlike his sister wasn't much of a talker, handed the phone back to Sophie.
"Daddy, why did those bad men take you away from us? Did they hurt you?" Sophie asked.
"I have some cuts and bruises and a broken arm, but other than that, I'll be fine. If you want to talk about the bad men, we'll do that after I get home and get settled, Honey. Is that okay?"
"Sure, Daddy." Sophie answered
"Now can you put Mommy on the phone, I want to talk to her."
"Mommy's not here." Sophie told him. "She and the baby are at the hospital."
"What?" Tony asked. "She and Dess are at the hospital? What happened?"
"Not Dess, Daddy. Dess is upstairs taking a nap. Mommy's at the hospital with Maria, the new baby."
"Maria? Sophie, are you telling me that Mommy had the baby?"
"Yes, Daddy, yesterday. Grandma says the baby's very sick."
"Sophie, give the phone to a grown up right now, Honey."
"Okay, Daddy. I love you. See you soon." Sophie handed the phone to her grandmother. "Daddy wants to talk to a grown up."
"Antonio, thank God you're safe. We were so worried."
"Mama, I'm fine. I'm sorry you had to worry. What's going on with Michelle?"
"She went into labor a couple of days ago. The doctors had it stopped for a while, but when the labor started again there was nothing they could do. The baby was born yesterday around 3 o'clock. It's a little girl, Antonio. She weighs less than a pound. The doctor talked to Michelle last evening. He was very nice, but he told her that the baby's chances weren't very good."
"How's Michelle doing?"
"Physically she's fine; Dr. Hild was going to discharge her this morning. But this has all been very hard on her emotionally, Antonio. She was so upset this morning after seeing the baby that the doctor had to sedate her. When I talked to Vanessa an hour or so ago, she said Michelle was sleeping. The doctor told her to expect Michelle to sleep for quite a while. Apparently they had to give her a big dose of drug to calm her down."
Tony took a breath and collected his thoughts. "Mama, I'm going to talk to the CTU agents that are there with you and see if they'll bring you and Pop and the kids to the airbase so you'll be there when I land. After I spend a little time with you I'll have them take me to the hospital to be with Michelle. I think that's where I need to be right now."
His mother agreed, told him again that she loved him and handed the phone off to one of the CTU agents. The agent told Tony that he would make all necessary arrangements to bring the family to the airbase. Then he had Tony hold while he connected the call to the CTU agents guarding Michelle's hospital room.
"Michelle. Michelle. Wake up, Honey." Vanessa said as she gently shook Michelle's shoulder. "Michelle, Tony's on the phone."
"Vanessa, if she's sleeping that deeply, just let her sleep."
"Tony, she's so worried about you. I just know she'd want to talk to you. She was awake for about ten minutes right after we found out that you'd been rescued."
"How alert was she?" Tony asked.
"She was sleepy. Her speech was slurred but we could understand her. She wanted some water and she asked about you and the baby. We told her that you were safe; that you were coming home. I thought she understood, but she seemed confused. She kept saying that she hurt you and that she was mean to you. She said that you wouldn't love her anymore. I guess she was dreaming. Then her whole focus shifted and she must have remembered what happened earlier because she was trying to apologize to Father Marty but she fell asleep in the middle of it." Vanessa stood near the head of Michelle's bed and smoothed out her tangled curls.
Tony suddenly remembered the argument that he and Michelle had the night before he was kidnapped. He had forgotten all about it. He remembered Michelle accusing him of cheating and how hurt he had been at the time. He remembered drinking scotch until he passed out. It all seemed so unimportant now. "If she wakes up again just tell her that I love her with all my heart and I'll be home soon. Tell her that whatever happened before I was kidnapped doesn't matter. All that matters is that we love each other."