Chapter 22: A Family Again
Tony arranged for Evan to stop by their house the next afternoon. Sophie would be in school and Kate agreed to watch Joe for a couple of hours after preschool. The doorbell rang just before one o'clock and Tony found himself unreasonably anxious as he answered it.
"Evan," he said as he opened the door. "Come in. Michelle will be down in a minute." Tony tried to act natural, but his heart was pounding and his stomach churning. He had mixed emotions about this reunion. He felt that Evan deserved to see Michelle after going out on a limb to save his life, but by the same token he didn't want to upset Michelle. She had spent years trying to forget her unhappy childhood and now it was going to be dredged up again. Tony found himself talking just to fill the empty air. "She took our son upstairs to change his clothes. I think he was wearing more of his lunch than he actually ate. And I'm not a lot of help right now." He said indicating the cast on his left wrist. "It's hard enough to change his clothes with two hands."
Evan smiled feeling the same anxiety as Tony. "How is your wrist?"
"Better. I had surgery on Monday. They had to put a pin in it. The surgeon said he is going to have to do at least one more revision but he thinks that it should heal pretty well after that." Tony paused trying to think of something else to say. "Can I take your jacket?"
"That's okay, Tony. I'll hang onto it." He wanted to say that he didn't think he would be there long enough for Tony to bother hanging it up but decided to leave that unsaid.
"Would you like to sit down?" Tony indicated the living room which was situated near the bottom of the stairs. "Can I get you some coffee or iced tea?"
"Coffee would be nice if you have it."
"Sure, I just finished brewing a pot."
Tony walked toward the kitchen leaving Evan alone at the entrance to the living room. He chose a chair that gave him a clear view of the stairs so he could see his daughter as soon as she descended. He looked around and took in his surroundings. The room was warm and well appointed. Pictures of Tony and Michelle and the children and lots of relatives including Michelle's mother, Anne, were everywhere. He turned quickly as he heard footsteps on the stairs. Michelle stopped half way down. She was holding Dess in her arms and he noticed that she involuntarily tightened her hold on the child as if to protect him. Is she protecting the baby or herself, he wondered.
Evan stood; he was holding a bouquet of white roses. They had been Michelle's favorite when she was a little girl. "Shelley," he said softly. "You look wonderful, Sweetheart."
"Thank you," she said just above a whisper.
Evan handed her the flowers. "You used to like white roses, I hope you still do."
"Um…I do. Um…thank you." Was all Michelle could say as she took the flowers. "Let me get a vase."
"I'll do that." Tony said as he came into the room with Evan's coffee. The tension in the room was so thick he could have cut it with a knife but at least Michelle wasn't screaming at Evan. Well, it's a start, Tony thought.
"Who's this little guy?" Evan asked.
"This is John Dessler. Tony nicknamed him Dess."
Evan smiled. "That was my nickname years ago. Do you remember?"
The corners of Michelle's mouth turned upward slightly and she nodded. "Yeah, I do."
"He's adorable. He looks like you." He said as he pushed one of Dess' curls back into place. "I'm so sorry that you lost your baby, Shelley. I know you're both devastated."
"Thank you," Michelle whispered again. "Why…why don't you sit down?" She looked him over and was surprised to see how shabbily he was dressed. She remembered him from her childhood as being so dapper and handsome. The jacket he wore was clean but worn at the elbows and cuffs. He must have been heavier when he bought both the jacket and pants because both were too big for him now. He used suspenders to keep the pants in place. His hair was thin and white. It was cut close but curls near the bottom and around his ears told her that it was due for a trim.
Michelle sat down on a nearby sofa and set Dess down on the floor. Dess toddled away for a moment then came back dragging a plastic bin full of blocks. Michelle and Evan watched in silence as Dess proceeded to dump the blocks noisily on the floor. He sat down, unconcerned that he was being watched, and began to build a block tower.
They both spoke at the same time.
"I need to thank you…"
"Shelley, I want to tell you…"
The both stopped and laughed anxiously. "You first," Michelle said.
Evan hung his head for a moment watching Dess then looked up to meet Michelle's eyes. "Shelley, I want to tell you how sorry I am for all the pain I've caused you and Danny. It's too late for me to tell your mother and I regret that, but I can still tell you and your brother. I'm not here looking for forgiveness. And I'm not here to clear my conscience because I could say 'I'm sorry' for the next hundred years and my conscience would never be clear. I just want you to know that I never wanted to hurt you and I never stopped loving you or Danny. I've always known what I did to you was wrong but I never had the strength to come back and try to make it up to you. So I drank to dull the pain and hoped that it would eventually kill me because death was what I wanted most of all and I didn't have the nerve to do that myself. In the meantime, I let 25 years slip by. Now I sit here and look at you and my grandson knowing how much I've missed and that it didn't have to be that way. I'm so sorry, Shelley." He paused unable to go on. He watched as tears filled his daughter's eyes and was immediately sorry that he had come and caused her more pain. He stood and sighed. "I'm not going to take up any more of your time, Sweetheart. You have your family to tend to. Thank you for letting me stop by. You'll never know how much this means to me. I love you so much, Shelley. You take care of yourself. You have a wonderful husband; I know I don't have to worry about you as long as you two have each other."
Evan looked over at Tony and waved. "Tony, thank you for arranging this. I'll never forget it." Tony started toward him but Evan waved him off. "I can show myself out. Thanks again." Evan turned and started toward the door.
"No, Dad, wait." Michelle said. Her voice was trembling.
Evan closed his eyes to savor the moment. She called him 'Dad'. It had been 25 years since anyone had called him 'Dad' and it sounded so sweet. He used to fanaticize as he walked down the street that he would see Michelle or Danny and they would recognize him and call him 'Dad' but it never happened. Sometimes in his dreams he would see Michelle as a little girl and she would call him 'Daddy' again.
"Please…" Michelle said. "Please don't go yet. Sit down. Maybe you'd like some more coffee." She looked at Tony.
Tony reached for Evan's cup. "Let me get that." He said as he took the cup and saucer and went back into the kitchen.
Evan looked as if he wanted to protest but he didn't; he remained silent as he sat back down. He watched Michelle settle back down on the sofa.
"I need to thank you, Dad, for saving Tony's life. I'm not sure how I would have gone on without him especially after losing our baby. You gave me the greatest gift I've ever been given; you gave me my husband back. Regardless of whatever happened in the past, I'll never be able to thank you enough for bringing Tony back to me."
"I don't deserve that much credit, Shelley. Ian agreed to the plan and Jack and Chase and the others on the assault team risked their lives and pulled it off. Without them, I couldn't have done anything."
"But without you bringing Ian in on it, the assault team never would have formed. No, Dad, you deserve more credit than you're willing to take. Tony and I will always be grateful to you."
Evan smiled and looked down. One of Dess' blocks had fallen near his foot when Dess knocked over one of his block towers. Evan picked up the block and held it out to Dess. "Here you go, Dess. Don't forget this one."
Dess gave Evan a long, shy look before reaching out and taking the block.
"Say 'thank you' to Granddad, John." Michelle told him.
Evan beamed. It had been his dream to be called 'Dad' again but never in his wildest dreams had he ever considered being called 'Granddad'.
Dess put the block on the top of the tower and knocked it over so that it would go in Evan's direction. He smiled a happy grin as Evan picked up some of the blocks and handed them back to him. The next thing Evan knew, Dess was building towers right at his feet and giving him blocks to add to the top.
"I think you've made a friend." Tony told him. "Dess doesn't warm up to everyone. He's pretty shy."
Evan reveled in the time spent with his daughter and grandson. He started asking questions about Tony and Michelle's other children and Danny's children. Time passed quickly and before they realized it, it was 3:30. Dess found his way up onto Evan's lap and started to rub his eyes and yawn. "Uh-oh. I think somebody needs a nap." Michelle cooed. "Come here, Tiger." She said as she reached for him. "Give your grandfather a kiss." Dess hugged and kissed Evan who felt tears fill his eyes.
"Now a kiss for Daddy." She said as she held him out to Tony.
"Have a good nap, Big Guy." Tony told Dess as he yawned again and put his head on Michelle's shoulder. He looked at his watch and then at Michelle. "Honey, I'm going to pick up Joe from the Bauer's and then I'll get Sophie at school. I'll be back in a half hour."
"I should be going." Evan said as he stood up. "Thank you for having me. It was a wonderful afternoon."
"Don't you want to meet your other grandchildren?" Michelle asked him.
"I don't want to be a bother, Shelley. I'm sure you have to help with homework and you have to get dinner."
"You're not a bother. Please stay and meet Joe and Sophie. They deserve to know their grandfather."
"I'd like to meet them." He said sincerely.
Tony leaned over and kissed Michelle. "I won't be long." He told her. "I'll see you when I get back." He told Evan.
A half an hour later Tony pulled his SUV back into the driveway. Michelle met Sophie and Joe at the door with kisses for each of them. "Mommy, I got a 100 on my spelling test!" Sophie told her happily.
"Good job!" Michelle exclaimed. "I knew you could do it."
"Whose car is in the driveway?" Joe asked
"Someone I'd like you to meet." Michelle told them as she led them into the living room. "This is my father, your grandfather."
"We already have a grandfather." Joe stated matter of factly.
"You can have two grandfathers, Joe." Sophie told him authoritatively. "I'm Sophie and this is Joe." She told Evan. "If you're our grandfather, why haven't we ever met you before?"
"Anna Sophia!" Michelle said sharply. "That isn't polite."
"No, Shelley, it's a good question." Evan turned his attention to Sophie and Joe. "Sometimes, adults do things that aren't very smart. I let a lot of time pass without seeing your mother, so I never had a chance to meet you. I finally came to my senses and decided it was time to meet you guys and your mother was sweet enough to agree to see me and let us meet."
"Well it's nice to meet you." Sophie told him. "Are you going to stay for dinner?"
"Thank you for asking, Sophie but I can't stay. I left my dog at home and I have to give him his dinner and let him out."
"Maybe you could come for dinner Saturday night." Michelle suggested. "I can call Danny and see if he and the kids can come over. I'll make sure Tony does the cooking." She said with a smile.
"Yeah, and maybe you could bring your dog with you so we could meet him, too." Joe said, his eyes dancing with excitement.
Evan smiled at Michelle. "I'd love to come for dinner. Thank you, Shelley, for giving me my family back." He stepped toward her and put his arms around her. She returned his hug and kissed him gently on the cheek. Evan shook hands with Tony and kissed Joe and Sophie goodbye and, with a promise to see them again on Saturday, left the house a far richer man than he had entered it just a few hours earlier.
Evan Dessler died eight months later with Michelle and Danny each holding one of his hands. He lived on his own for the first few months after he reunited with his children but moved in with Michelle and Tony when his illness progressed to the point that he could no longer fully care for himself. He began to depend on Michelle more and more as his health continued to decline until he was completely bedridden.
Before he became completely incapacitated he and Michelle talked at length about his days with the CIA. She was fascinated by his exploits and after listening to them for a few weeks decided to start writing them down and compile them into a book. Since the fall of the Soviet Union, the information was no longer classified and she knew it would make an incredible story. Evan resisted when Michelle first brought up the idea of writing his memoirs but eventually relented. He agreed to it only if all of the profits would be put into a trust fund for all of his grandchildren for education.
Michelle planned a quiet funeral for her father. A number of his old CIA cronies attended and the assault team that rescued Tony served as pall bearers. After much consideration, Michelle and Danny decided to bury Evan next to their mother. Despite the fact that they had been divorced, they both continued to love each other until their deaths. Thus it seemed appropriate to their children to bury them together.
After the burial service, Michelle and Tony had a small luncheon at their home. Most everyone had gone and Michelle was washing dishes with Tony's mother when Danny came into the kitchen to say goodbye. "Michelle, the kids and I have to be going. You did a beautiful job planning the funeral and the luncheon. It was really special." He said as he hugged and kissed her. "But I shouldn't be surprised, because you're really special."
Michelle smiled and looked away, embarrassed by the compliment. "Thank you."
"I should be thanking you." he told her. "You took great care of Dad and you got us all back together. I hated him for so many years, Michelle. When you asked me to bring the kids and come to dinner and see him I thought you had lost your mind. I only did it because you had been through so much with Tony being kidnapped and then losing the baby that I thought I'd humor you. I promised myself that for your sake I'd be civil, but I was seething when I first walked in that night. Now I'm so grateful that we had the last few months together. I'm glad I got to see him in a different light. I'm glad I got a chance to understand him. And without you it never would have happened."
"I didn't want to see him at first either. I only did it because he saved Tony's life and I thought I owed him. I'm like you; I planned to be civil, but nothing more. Once he was here, I realized how much I still loved him. I was angry with him, but I loved him. I watched him with the kids and I knew I had to have him back in my live, if only for a little while."
"And you and Tony are amazing." Danny told her. "I don't know how you did it. After all you had been through, taking care of Dad was the last thing you two should have had to do, but you never complained. I wish I could've been more help."
"You did what you could. You were here almost every weekend."
"Well, whatever I did, it wasn't enough. I hope you two can find some time for each other now." Danny hugged her again and said goodbye.
Michelle turned back to the task of washing dishes while Tony's mother dried them and put them away. "Michelle," Maria said as she dried a large pot. "Danny's right. You and Antonio haven't had any time together in a long time. Emilio and I will watch the children for a few days. Why don't you two plan a long weekend? Thanksgiving is coming up; you could go that weekend."
Michelle thought for a moment. A weekend alone would be wonderful. The last year had been an incredible test for their relationship. But after all they had been through together, Michelle felt that she and Tony were closer emotionally than they had been at any time in their relationship. They fell asleep every night wrapped in each others arms and awoke a warm and cozy tangle of arms and legs. Physically, however, their relationship had waned. She could count on both hands the number of times they had made love in the last year. Each time had been loving and enjoyable but hardly could be described as passionate. Danny and Maria were both right; Tony and Michelle needed some time together. Michelle envisioned a weekend at the beach house and smiled.
Michelle stopped washing dishes and looked back at her mother-in-law. "Are you sure you wouldn't mind watching the kids for a weekend?"
Maria smiled. "We love watching them."
"That's a lot of work, are you sure?"
"Michelle, they're angels. They're no trouble at all. It's settled. You two make reservations somewhere for the weekend after Thanksgiving and we'll come over and stay with the children."
Michelle dried her hands on the nearest towel and threw her arms around her mother-in-law. "Thank you! You and Pop are the best. What would we do without you?"
Okay, so I lied. I told you that this would be the last chapter but this chapter ended up being longer than I thought it would be. So…I still need to write one more chapter to finish the story. Stay with me, please. One more chapter, that's it, I swear!