Title: Yes, Den Mother.
Summary: Hachiman Hikigaya, second year university student and den mother to the first ever sorority house opened on university campus has to deal with certain unusual situations and treat them as part of his responsibilities. One of them includes, responding to various women, the sorority members of the sorority house, into the late hours of the night. Really, what is there to talk about? Well, the women in his life always find a thing or two to say to him. And sometimes he doesn't know how to respond back. Maybe that's what they like the most about him.
Note: Can be read as a sequel to "A Study in Pink"
Hachiman Hikigaya was a simple man. Unlike the members of the opposite sex who rightfully lived in the sorority house, he didn't have a general set of routines which he liked to perform before heading off to bed and welcoming sleep into his open arms. Even now he still had trouble wrapping his head around his unusual set of circumstance. He was receiving and replying to a number of texts from multiple women before turning in for the night.
[Nino Nakano: What are you doing?]
[Getting ready for bed.]
[Nino Nakano: Did you have a glass of milk? Lol! Just kidding!]
…
[Nino Nakano: What are you wearing?]
[Pajamas.]
[Nino Nakano: You suck at this.]
Winning the billion dollar scholarship because of an accounting error, he could understand. Getting into a fatal accident, experiencing what death feels like and coming back to life, still understandable. He was drunk. But becoming the den mother of the first ever sorority house to be opened on campus, living under the same roof as seventy-two young women and being held responsible for their day to day housing needs while simultaneously wielding authority over them for as long as they planned to call this place their home still managed to sound unbelievable.
[Utaha Kasumigaoka-senpai: How many women did you interact with today?]
[I don't know.]
[Utaha Kasumigaoka-senpai: More than five or less than ten.]
…
[Utaha Kasumigaoka-senpai: More than ten?]
[I don't keep count.]
[Utaha Kasumigaoka-senpai: As expected of a cool harem protagonist.]
[Utaha Kasumigaoka-senpai: I'm glad I picked you.]
…
[Utaha Kasumigaoka-senpai: Did that make your heart skip a beat?]
He thought he would die from embarrassment when a small group of girls approached him on his first day as their sorority mother or housing director as he had taken to call himself and told him with a blush on their respective faces that the bathrooms had to be restocked with toiletries. At first he thought he had misheard them. Restocked, surely they meant the pantry. But no, he had heard right and they weren't just talking about toilet paper and soap. After he went to the respective stores and made the needed purchases he had consciously made an effort to stay out of the house for as long as possible. He wanted something genuine but this was definitely not it. As he soon found out, there were certain things in life a guy was better off not knowing.
[Chizuru Ichinose: Why did Nakano call me a floozy?]
[I don't know. You better ask her.]
[Chizuru Ichinose: Did you tell her about my job?]
[No.]
[Chizuru Ichinose: You sure about it?]
[Positive.]
…
[Chizuru Ichinose: Okay. I believe you.]
…
[How was your date?]
[Chizuru Ichinose: It was fine. You don't have to worry.]
[I was not worried.]
[Chizuru Ichinose: Sure you weren't.]
At least he didn't have to worry about walking into an unlocked bathroom and happening upon the sight of a naked woman. It wasn't worth the trouble. He would be butchered before he got a word out to defend himself. But he didn't have to worry about that particular scenario playing out. Housing directors or den mothers got their own little suite – bedroom, bathroom and a living room with a kitchen. It was next to the library on the ground floor so he didn't have to worry about senseless chatter bleeding into the rooms. This was the one thing which made his present living condition slightly bearable. Thus far he hadn't invited anyone into his suite but with the way things were going this was likely to change in the near future. He had to keep himself prepared for that eventuality. One would think, after spending his entire first year in the men's dorm with three roommates he would have given up on the notion of privacy, but he still liked to think of himself as the same rotten loner who kept to himself and stayed out of other people's business.
[Seishirou Tsugumi: You alive?]
[That's a strange way to greet someone. But yes I am alive. Thank you for asking Tsugumi-chan.]
[Seishirou Tsugumi: Don't get cute with me Hikigaya. I can kill you in your sleep.]
[I believe you.]
…
[Seishirou Tsugumi: I really hate you.]
[Okay.]
[Seishirou Tsugumi: Okay? Just okay? You are really pissing me off.]
[Okay.]
[Seishirou Tsugumi: Say okay one more time. One more time, I dare you, I double dare you MF!]
[Okie-doke.]
[Seishirou Tsugumi: You will pay for this Hachiman Hikigaya. Maybe tomorrow's the day I will finally end up killing you.]
…
[Seishirou Tsugumi: At least wish me 'Good night' you jerk.]
[Seishirou Tsugumi: Good night!]
[Gn8]
But that particular profile was difficult to maintain these days. He wondered whether he was becoming a social creature. Before he knew it he might even become a jock or a party guy. He winced at the thought even though he found it more and more believable much to his feeling of dread. What's next, would he become effeminate because he would be in the company of seventy-two women for the next couple of years, he didn't think so, not quite yet, he thought with a shuddering breath.
[Hina Tachibana-sensei: Hey who's your girlfriend?]
[I don't have one.]
[Hina Tachibana-sensei: Why not?]
…
[Hina Tachibana-sensei: Are you gay?]
[I'm not gay.]
[Hina Tachibana-sensei: It would explain a lot. I mean you are the den mother of a sorority house. They wouldn't just offer up that position to a heterosexual guy.]
[I am not gay!]
[Hina Tachibana-sensei: Ah. Then you are impotent?]
[Hina Tachibana-sensei: Have you seen a doctor?]
[I am not impotent!]
[Hina Tachibana-sensei: How would you know? Did you knock up a girlfriend before entering university?]
[I told you I don't have a girlfriend.]
[Hina Tachibana-sensei: Exactly!]
…
[Hina Tachibana-sensei: By the way have you thought about the wedding expo I told you about in the family restaurant. Those girls you were tutoring seemed more or less interested. And you promised you would be participating so I hope you don't make up some poor excuse at the very last second. I would be really disappointed in you if you did.]
[Hina Tachibana-sensei: And I was asking about your girlfriend because I wanted to invite her to the event. Maybe that might have encouraged you to be a little more excited.]
[Hina Tachibana-sensei: But you don't have a girlfriend do you?]
[No.]
[Hina Tachibana-sensei: Don't worry. There's hope for you yet. Maybe you will meet the love of your life in the expo. I mean watching a bunch of beautiful women dress up in gorgeous wedding gowns must do something for a guy.]
…
[I will take your word for it. Good night.]
He didn't take a bubble bath to relax or go through complicated skin care regiments and he definitely didn't write stuff down in a silly dairy. He showered, brushed his teeth, got changed into his grey singlet and drawstring pajama bottoms and finally reached for his phone to set the alarm for the next day and this is when he encountered an unusual problem.
He didn't know when to set the alarm.
Now Hachiman had taken his duties as the housing director for the sorority house extremely seriously. When he was writing down and delivering the speech in front of all the students during orientation, going through the list of his new titles, duties and responsibilities, he had made a mental note to hunt down someone who could train him at least physically to take on this difficult task and arm him with the proper strength to face these insurmountable odds. He didn't have to look for more than a day as the right person came to him with honest to god pistols drawn at his face.
[? : Stay away from Utaha-senpai you shitty harem protagonist!]
[Who's this?]
…
[?: Mr. Ethical.]
[Okay. I'm blocking you.]
Seishirou Tsugumi was the perfect choice. Before he was chosen to be her embedded tutor, he had single handedly begged and groveled and appealed to the innate goodness in her heart to take on the role as his physical training instructor.
With a bit of reluctance she had agreed, telling him upfront that she would show him no mercy and that she expected two hundred percent commitment from him during the course of his training and though he had no doubt she hadn't been joking, he still bitched and moaned from time to time when he though she wasn't listening to at least go a bit easy on his poor, decrepit soul. He was asking her to keep him in good shape to run a sorority house, not training him on how to become a skilled hitman for a mafia organization.
[?: What did you do to my Tsugumi?]
[Raku Ichijou?]
[?: No. Why would that bean sprout be talking about Tsugumi?]
[Chitoge Kirisaki?]
…
Nonetheless his mornings were now beginning at five thirty which to him felt like the crack of dawn. But he couldn't complain. It was his idea to seek her out and have her whip him into shape and though he didn't like waking up that early in the morning, he had to admit under her difficult training regiment he was getting the proper results. He had more confidence in his core strength and he had developed a bit of lean musculature in both his arms and legs.
It was better not to mess with what had become his new morning routine. But the more he thought about it, the more he started to realize that somehow tomorrow his schedule would be disrupted multiple times and it would be because of the several women in his life and how they all got forced into participating in the multicultural marriage expo which was supposed to take place in a couple of days under the guidance of Hina Tachibana-sensei.
[?: I'm not Chitoge Kirisaki. But if I were her, I would be telling you not to mess around with her friend.]
[?: Unless you want to get hurt, you punk.]
[Understood. Blocking you as well.]
He wondered whether Seishirou Tsugumi was doing okay. She never texted him before but today she had taken the initiative and he had acted a bit like a douche with her. There was no doubt in his mind that she would make him pay for his behaviour tomorrow during their routine training exercise.
Because of this rather stupid reason he thought about skipping tomorrow's workout session. He had been training nonstop for weeks. Missing one day wouldn't hurt. And from the text messages he received from what he perceived was none other than Chitoge Kirisaki he got the distinct impression that Tsugumi wasn't doing so well herself. The thought about participating in the marriage expo and dressing up as one of the brides had left her completely speechless. The last time he had seen her she was nothing more than a blushing mess.
[Shizuka Hiratsuka: Heard you were attending the marriage expo.]
[Yeah.]
[Shizuka Hiratsuka: You know at first they were gonna put me in charge of the event.]
[Oh.]
[Shizuka Hiratsuka: Oh!? What do you mean 'Oh'?]
[Nothing.]
[Shizuka Hiratsuka: You're damn night. It's nothing. I didn't want the chick anyway.]
…
[Shizuka Hiratsuka: I meant gig. Not chick.]
[Shizuka Hiratsuka: Not that I don't want a chick. I mean I'm not a lesbian. But dammit! I want a husband.]
…
[Shizuka Hiratsuka: I'm drunk.]
[Remember to drink lots and lots of water before heading to bed.]
[Shizuka Hiratsuka: Thanks Hikigaya. I wuv ya.]
Hachiman blushed as he read the text. Hiratsuka-sensei was clearly drunk. There was no way she meant that stuff she wrote in the last text. He waited on her to send another text to correct her previous mistake but not a single more message arrived from her end. He figured she had fallen asleep hopefully after taking his advice to heart. It wouldn't look good if she missed her morning lecture as a professor.
On the other hand now that he thought about it, he had been ignoring the handful of people he knew from back in his first year. He had been really busy since the start of the new semester as a second year student and he didn't have the time. But it was no excuse. He could go on a jog every day of the week with a skilled hitwoman but he couldn't be bothered to send a short goodnight text to one of his friends from last term. Now this was really pathetic. He should strive to do better.
[Gn8]
[Good night Hikki!]
…
[Hikki, are you awake?]
Ah yes. He missed the airheaded antics of a certain pink haired nice girl. He should try to catch up with her sometime in the near future. The two of them were bound to have a common free period every now and then. Maybe he should ask her out to lunch or would that be taken out of context and be misinterpreted by the gossip mongers on campus. He didn't have a girlfriend. He lived with seventy-two women. One of these two things was self contradictory. He only needed to figure out which was which before his free trial of life was seemingly over.
Before putting away his mobile phone, he set the alarm at what had become his usual time of getting up these days – five thirty in the morning. He still hated getting up so early. But his body was slowly getting accustomed to the new routine. If he was being truthful to himself the morning jog, the follow up exercise routine and the basic self defense practice would help him carry out his numerous responsibilities on campus in a far better capacity. He had to become something more than the loner he was just now and he was glad for the help he was getting from the blue haired hit-woman in the sorority. In fact, he was grateful to a large number of women.
A/N: How is it possible that with all the other women appearing in this chapter, somehow Shizuka Hiratsuka-sensei still managed to steal the show? Really, I love writing her. I mean, I wuv writing her. Okay, it's strange when I speak like that. But anyway, moving on.
Now, some of you have asked for a backstory for Ikebukuro. I already wrote a paragraph about it and posted it at the end of Chapter 51. However, I later removed it as it had significant spoilers.
Now this has made me consider something else.
Should I write, like a side story, you know, a collection of one-shots which will focus more on the characters that will appear in the Ikebukuro fic. So there will be two stories – one, the main, which will be plot heavy. And the other a side story, which will focus on characters.
I think it's a great idea. But let's do a poll –
Poll#1: Should The Ikebukuro Fic Have A Side Story To Focus On Characters?
Option 1: Yes. Make it a character driven collection of one-shots.
Option 2: No. Just write one plot heavy Ikebukuro fic.
And,
Poll#2: Which Animes Do You Want To Feature In The Ikebukuro Fic?
Option 1: Ikebukuro West Gate Park
Option 2: Trigun.
Option 3: Banana Fish.
Option 4: Occult;Nine.
Option 5: Boogiepop.
Option 6: Anime From The Reviews.
Please pick accordingly.
Hope everyone enjoyed reading this chapter.
Leave lots and lots of reviews, follow and fave.
Won't betray your dreams.