Upon entering Kathryn's quarters, he found it to be pitch black. He requested lights at 10% and that is when he found Kathryn wrapped in a blanket, lying on the couch. Stepping closer he could see the tear stains on her face and he was flooded with memories from their last night on New Earth...making love to Kathryn and then holding her as she cried herself to sleep. He gently bent down in front of the woman he loved more than life itself and could only wonder what has been going through her mind these last few weeks. He wanted to remember how she was on New Earth...carefree and full of laughter, but looking at her now made him feel so sad. Not wanting to wake her, Chakotay turned around to leave, but accidentally walked into the chair directly behind him, causing it to slam back down on the floor. Kathryn woke with a start.
"Chakotay, what are you doing here?" she said.
"I just came to check up on you since you didn't report for duty this morning." Without looking at Chakotay, she quietly said, "I'm fine" and started walking to her bedroom. Chakotay followed her, knowing full well that she wasn't fine. "Kathryn, you are not fine. I come in here, find that you have been crying, not just today, but a lot since we have returned. Don't think you have been good at hiding it. The dark circles and puffy eyes are a pretty good indication."
Kathryn, briefly taken aback by his tone, whirled around and countered, "And how dare you come into my quarters. I didn't ask you to did I? No! I wish you would just go Chakotay. Leave me alone!" With that, she stormed past him, putting as much distance as she could between them. She stopped in front of the viewport, trying to stop the wave of emotions that were starting to hit. Chakotay didn't want to leave things like this so he slowly walked up behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder. He felt her flinch slightly, but then began to relax.
"Kathryn, I don't want to fight with you, but I'm here because I care about you and want to help. I know your going to be angry with me for saying this, but ever since we came back from New Earth you have changed so much. Not for the better either," he paused, watching her reflection in the viewport. When he didn't receive any response he pressed on, "I know our time down there was special and that it broke your heart as much as mine to return to the ship. I could see it in your face the morning we left. I really want us to work past all this and try to go back to where we were before this happened."
"I don't think that is an option now." Kathryn instinctively took her hand down to her abdomen before moving it back up to wipe the tears from her face. Chakotay placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her around to face him.
"Kathryn, you know how much I care about you and I'm willing to wait until we reach Earth before having anything more than we did on New Earth again. I miss our friendship more than anything right now." Chakotay's said eyes looked into Kathryn's.
"I miss it too Chakotay." Kathryn, forgetting for a moment everything, let Chakotay wrap his arms around her as she began to cry again. He ran his hand up and down her back, trying to provide whatever comfort he could. At the moment Chakotay heard the sobs end, Kathryn slowly began to push away.
"You really should go Chakotay." Not wanting to cause anymore distress with her, feeling as though something minor had been accomplished, he agreed. "We will talk some more Kathryn." Chakotay kissed her lightly on her forehead and then left.
Kathryn collapsed on the floor, no energy to keep her standing any longer. Running her hand back over her abdomen, "if only things could be as simple as you say Chakotay."
"Chakotay, what are you doing here?" she said.
"I just came to check up on you since you didn't report for duty this morning." Without looking at Chakotay, she quietly said, "I'm fine" and started walking to her bedroom. Chakotay followed her, knowing full well that she wasn't fine. "Kathryn, you are not fine. I come in here, find that you have been crying, not just today, but a lot since we have returned. Don't think you have been good at hiding it. The dark circles and puffy eyes are a pretty good indication."
Kathryn, briefly taken aback by his tone, whirled around and countered, "And how dare you come into my quarters. I didn't ask you to did I? No! I wish you would just go Chakotay. Leave me alone!" With that, she stormed past him, putting as much distance as she could between them. She stopped in front of the viewport, trying to stop the wave of emotions that were starting to hit. Chakotay didn't want to leave things like this so he slowly walked up behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder. He felt her flinch slightly, but then began to relax.
"Kathryn, I don't want to fight with you, but I'm here because I care about you and want to help. I know your going to be angry with me for saying this, but ever since we came back from New Earth you have changed so much. Not for the better either," he paused, watching her reflection in the viewport. When he didn't receive any response he pressed on, "I know our time down there was special and that it broke your heart as much as mine to return to the ship. I could see it in your face the morning we left. I really want us to work past all this and try to go back to where we were before this happened."
"I don't think that is an option now." Kathryn instinctively took her hand down to her abdomen before moving it back up to wipe the tears from her face. Chakotay placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her around to face him.
"Kathryn, you know how much I care about you and I'm willing to wait until we reach Earth before having anything more than we did on New Earth again. I miss our friendship more than anything right now." Chakotay's said eyes looked into Kathryn's.
"I miss it too Chakotay." Kathryn, forgetting for a moment everything, let Chakotay wrap his arms around her as she began to cry again. He ran his hand up and down her back, trying to provide whatever comfort he could. At the moment Chakotay heard the sobs end, Kathryn slowly began to push away.
"You really should go Chakotay." Not wanting to cause anymore distress with her, feeling as though something minor had been accomplished, he agreed. "We will talk some more Kathryn." Chakotay kissed her lightly on her forehead and then left.
Kathryn collapsed on the floor, no energy to keep her standing any longer. Running her hand back over her abdomen, "if only things could be as simple as you say Chakotay."