Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha and Dashboard Confessional
(10/16/04)
A/N: Feel horrible, not a good week, got in trouble at work, no sleep, so let's get right into it. Picked the reviews that needed something specifically addressed or were amusing. Abbykat, regarding Sango I have been taking it to the extreme, that's my fault. The story is already complete and in post-reconstruction, so I hope that the remainder will not turn you off. As for Kuranosuke, I have my reasons, and all I can hope is that you have faith in me. Lily Thorne & Chocolatechipp, thanks a lot for the reviews. Since no one reads my disclaimers I put the song and lyrics at the end of the chapters underneath the selection in hopes they will be noticed. OhJoy, FlamingRedFox,man I have ruined all of Takeda's credibility as a character, lol. I have my own cleaver in which I butcher canon personalities...faltering, you know I always appreciate the de-lurking. I'd love to hear the theories. Starzki, wow, I really do not deserve that. Not at all. Thanks everyone.
Story written for Katrina5.
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"Hi Kohaku-kun!" Kagome said cheerfully as he opened the door for her. "Is your sister home?"
"Uh, yeah, she's upstairs," Kohaku said sleepily, stifling a yawn as he shuffled up the stairs. "I'll just go and get her. Come on in."
He came back down minutes later with his hands over his face.
"Kohaku-kun," Kagome spoke up with slight concern as she slipped off her shoes. "What's up? You seem really tired."
Raking his fingers down his cheeks so his eyelids sagged, he groaned. "I hardly got any sleep last night."
"And why is that?" she asked, trying to suppress her giggles.
He stared at her blankly. " Ane-ue was screaming all night long. I thought she was possessed. The floor was bloody shaking."
"Oh," Kagome stammered, her shoulders quivering with withheld laughter. "Is she okay now?"
Kohaku sat down on the bottom step and leaned his head against the banister. "Yeah, it's a good thing Miroku was there to perform an exorcism," he muttered with his eyes closed.
Kagome started coughing suddenly, covering her mouth and nearly dropping her keys. "You're not serious," she choked.
He looked up at her with a deadpan expression. "Do I look serious to you?"
"He's wasn't hurting her, Kohaku," she said with a wink.
"Don't patronize me Kagome-san," Kohaku sighed, shaking his head. "If you lived here, you'd be reduced to a wandering zombie as well, left to quiver under your covers at night."
"I see," Kagome said seriously, though her eyes were twinkling. She ruffled Kohaku's hair. "You'll get used to it."
He rolled his eyes. "I should hope not."
"Ah, here she is," Kagome announced as Sango rushed down the stairs clutching Kirara, apparently not noticing her shirt was inside out.
"Good morning Kagome-chan," she greeted, hugging the girl firmly. "How are you?"
"Oh, just fine," Kagome answered, bouncing on the balls of her feet . "I brought you your prescription. What's it for again?"
Sango glanced around nervously before taking the small white bag from Kagome and holding it tightly. "Thanks." She started to blush. "It's my . . . birth control," she mouthed.
Kagome glanced at her friend mischievously. "I see. Heard you were . . . ah - quite the noisy one last night."
Sango's eyes widened, and she flushed before recovering and grinning back at Kagome in abashment. "Oh yes, I was embarrassed to take out the trash this morning. I had no idea I was so loud. But only because a bee - er, stung me," she added quickly.
"Mm-hmm," Kagome nodded in agreement. "It was all worth it in the end, right? I mean, the painful recovery from a bee sting."
"What was worth what in the end?" Miroku asked, now making his way down the staircase to greet the visitor. He pressed a kiss to the side of Sango's head and whispered something in her ear, her jaw slowly dropping.
"Kagome-chan!" she burst in embarrassment as he stood beside them, grinning. "Why didn't you say anything about my shirt?"
"Oh that? I didn't really notice," Kagome said in a singsong voice, a knowing smile on her mouth. "You didn't seem to mind."
"And you!" Sango now rounded on Miroku. "You could have said something too!"
"Actually, I didn't really notice as you left either. You were trying to dress too fast. I warned you it only works the other way around." He shrugged as visible annoyance began to show in her features. "So technically, I did say something."
Miroku shuffled away, poking around in a closet. "I'm going to vacuum," he announced.
Kagome looked at Sango oddly and she laughed. "Don't ask, he takes out the vacuum to avoid punishments because he claims he can't hear me talking. He does a good job, so I might as well let him."
"Sango-chan, life with you must be extremely interesting, to say the least."
Sango smiled widely. "It works. For once . . . I think I'm not that far off from being really happy."
Kohaku looked up at her from where he sat on the steps, staring at the tag hanging off the back of her shirt, to the visible seams, to the forgotten white bag in her hand.
What's stopping you?
--
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Any Given Someday
Chapter Eight
She Makes Me Wait
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--
"Kohaku, what's wrong?" Sango tried again as they neared another stop sign. "Come on, you've been odd all weekend. Aren't you excited about the school trip?"
"Maybe," he said listlessly, staring out the window.
"It's an overnight, right? You've been waiting for this for a while."
No response.
"I'll miss you."
He jumped as she pulled over sharply, throwing on the break lights of Kuranosuke's car.
"What are you doing? I'm going to be late!"
"I'm not moving this car again until you tell me what's been up with you!" she contravened, turning off the ignition.
His eyes closed and his lips were turned down in a frown as he shook with withheld emotion. "I should be asking you that question."
She turned around to give him a hard stare. "Why -"
"Why what, Ane-ue! Why are we in his car? Why is he in our house? Why are you being so freaking stubborn?"
"Kohaku!" she exclaimed in shocked disbelief. "Don't speak to me like that!"
"It's true though!" he argued, straining against his seatbelt. "You've lost it!"
"Stop it," she said coldly. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"You know as well as I do what I'm talking about," her brother hissed, his eyes narrowed. "You're only hurting yourself by doing this."
"Doing what?" Sango asked, though she'd already began to bite on her fingernails.
He shook his head. "By . . . by letting him think you actually want to be with him. I heard Ane-ue. I heard every damn word. I can't believe you," he finished in an incredulous tone.
"You're the one that told me to get it together!" Sango argued. This was so foolish. She was supposed to be the patient adult yet here she was, squabbling with her younger brother. "I'm doing this for you!"
"Ane-ue, I don't know who or what you're trying to prove yourself to, but it sure isn't me. I mean, it's one thing if I don't like him and you do, but when you don't . . ."
"Kohaku, you'll see. I'm doing the right thing. You're just angry now, but - "
"I'm not angry," he said in a sombre tone. "I'm disappointed."
Taking a deep breath, he faced his sister, who was gazing at him in confusion.
"This isn't about me. When I told you to pull yourself together Ane-ue, I meant I wanted you to decide what you want and who you are. I didn't want to see you so hurt anymore."
"I understand that. I'm trying -"
"You're trying to what? Ane-ue, running to him because he so happens to be there does not help. So what if he cares about you? So what if it's what father wanted? It's not what you want."
"You can't tell me what I want and what I don't want."
"Then tell me it's what you want. Tell me you want someone who thinks of you as a commodity and a prize, who thinks they can win you by promising money and riches and expensive gifts. Tell me you want him over Miroku."
He was so blunt, and it stung.
"That's not everything! He does have feelings. You're exaggerating."
"And if he does? And if I am?"
"Kohaku," she whispered, the backs of her eyes burning. "I can't go back to him."
"Why?" he shot back. "Because he hurt you? Ane-ue, why would you let something like that break you apart? Your own insecurity?"
"It hurts a lot you know. Don't you understand?"
"I understand perfectly well, Ane-ue. Besides, did you ever stop to think that you may have hurt him too?"
"Of course I have Kohaku. That's another reason. It could never be the same. Miroku and I . . ."
"It can't be the same. But it can be better."
"But," she whispered, barely able to raise her voice. "What if we . . ."
"Ane-ue, the only way it will work is if you want it to work."
"I'm still not sure about how he feels . . . What if his feelings wear away?"
"They won't. I know that."
"How do you know that?"
"A few weeks ago, I was the one who answered the phone."
He crossed his arms and gave her a hard look before turning to stare out the window again. "You're not invincible. You're human."
With a shaking hand, she turned the keys in the ignition, and pulled into traffic to take Kohaku to the school entrance gate before the buses departed. His words haunted her the entire way back.
--
"How was the drive?" Kuranosuke asked in a cheery voice as he greeted her coming in the door.
"Oh, it was fine,' she smiled weakly. "Kohaku's really excited that it's an overnight."
"Really? Is that why he didn't want me to come?" he laughed. "Wanted to spend some time with his sister?"
"Could be." She hung up her jacket and tried to walk past him into the living room but he caught her by the shoulders.
"I was hoping that we could go out somewhere today," he informed her, smiling meaningfully.
"Oh?" she attempted to sound interested. "Where?"
"Maybe get you some new clothes, something new, things like that. Then perhaps something to eat afterward."
"Why would I need that?" she asked, slightly offended. "What I have right now is perfectly fine."
"Sango-san, you are so adorable," he chuckled, patting the top of her head. "You don't have to worry about these trivial things anymore."
She shrugged her shoulders and smiled weakly at his chest.
"We can even get you a new cat, didn't your other one die?"
"She didn't die," Sango said, annoyed. "She's with . . . she's with . . . him," she finished lamely.
"Oh," he said curtly. "I see."
"Anyway," he brightened. "Are you up for it? Or are you still feeling sick?"
"Actually . . . I don't feel like going out today," she told him. "I'm kind of tired."
"We can hang around here I suppose," he responded, disappointment evident in his tone. "I'll make you dinner, since it will just be the two of us."
Since when did he live here?
"Actually, I think," she sighed. "I think I'm going to take a nap for an hour or two."
He looked a little concerned. "Well, I guess I could always catch up on my work. You have a computer somewhere, no?"
"Upstairs, on the bedroom desk there's a laptop. The power cord should still be plugged in. Do you want to work there or down here?"
"I'll work down here, so you can sleep in your room."
"Okay," she shrugged, turning to walk past him into the kitchen. "I'll be up in a second."
They went their separate ways and she promptly filled a glass with cold water, downing half in a single gulp. The house was virtually silent, except for the noises of Kuranosuke upstairs and the wind chimes jingling in the breeze . . . Someone was at the door.
Hesitantly, she set down her glass and approached the entrance, her fingers skimming the doorknob. She knew who it was.
Opening the door a crack, she tried not to speak too loudly. "Not right now, Miroku."
Even only being able to see him through a sliver in the doorway, her body started to tingle uncontrollably.
He looked as though he were struggling to say something; his lips pursed and his posture was stiff.
"Why are you here?" she whispered desperately. "I can't talk right now."
"He's here, isn't he?" he asked, keeping his voice low. "That's okay, I just came to drop something off. "
She pulled the door open a little more, motioning for him to give it to her, whatever it was.
"You forgot your bag, first off," he said, squeezing it through the small space, where she promptly grabbed it and put it down. She tried to close the door.
"That's not all," he hissed, as the edge of the door dug into his fingers. He pushed it open slowly.
"And . . . this." He held out a small bundle of fur, squirming in his grasp.
"Kirara?" she said in surprise. "But . . . she's staying with you."
"She misses you," he said bluntly. "I can't give her the attention she needs right now. She's better off here."
She reached out and grasped the animal under the arms, and it mewed as it was held by both of them, their fingers overlapping beneath the mass of creme fur.
"You don't have to bring her back," she said even as she now cradled Kirara. "She's partly yours."
"I bought her for you, remember?"
She looked away as she held a hand to the door. "You should go now," she said softly. "You should -"
Pushing the door open, he rushed forward and pressed his mouth against hers in a searing kiss. She gasped in momentary shock and as soon as she had begun to grow excited and warm, he pulled away.
He turned around to leave, leaving Sango stunned, and Kirara began to mewl in confusion. "Shh, it's alright," Sango cooed, rubbing the cat behind the ears. "It's alright."
"Sango-san?" Kuranosuke's voice sounded behind her as he appeared at the top of the stairs. "Was someone here?"
She shut the door quickly, turning around and attempting to smile.
"Umm - "
His eyes flickered to Kirara, who was shifting restlessly in her grasp. "I thought the cat was with him?"
Clearing her throat, she tried to shake the nervousness from her voice. "She was - someone just brought her by for me."
"Who?" he asked, stepping down the stairs closer to her.
"Kagome, she's a friend from work. She picked up Kirara from Miroku and brought her over."
His expression was neutral. "I see."
Sighing, he rested a hand on her shoulder. "Sango, we need to talk."
"About what?" She twirled Kirara's tail around her finger. "I thought you need to work."
"Come on," he said, leading her into the living room. "Obviously, we need to talk about you and him," he began, pushing her into a seat. "I've been noticing . . ."
Kirara squirmed as Sango began to rake at her fur nervously. "What do you want to know?"
"Sango-san," he said seriously. "Do you still have feelings for him?"
"I . . . it hasn't been that long since we broke up, you know."
"That wasn't my question." He leaned forward and stared at her, causing her back to grow hot with pressure.
"What happened when I came to pick you up yesterday?" he asked suddenly, propping his elbows on his knees. "You were flushed. Your lipstick was smeared."
"I told you I just lay down in the back of his car for a few minutes," she lied. "I wasn't feeling well."
"And why was he ducking inside with you?"
Kirara jumped out of her lap as Sango squeezed her and the doorbell rang. She felt relief wash over her in waves as Kuranosuke gave her a penetrating stare. "Stay right here, I'll get it."
Hoping to whatever deity would listen that it wasn't Miroku, she heard a female's confused voice echo across the room.
"Hello, I'm just here to return Sango-chan's car . . . is she home?"
Kagome, Sango thought, her hands moving to her mouth in reflex.
"Are you Kagome?" Kuranosuke asked casually.
"Yes, I am. We work together," the young woman answered. "Who are you?"
"I'm Takeda Kuranosuke, her boyfriend."
"Nice to meet you," Kagome said uncomfortably. "Is Sango home?"
"But weren't you just here?"
Sango slumped in her chair, biting furiously at her nails.
"No? I don't think so."
"Well then, you two should talk. Sango-san," he called behind him. "Your friend is here to see you."
"Hi Kagome-chan," she greeted, shuffling her feet. "You brought my car back?"
"Yeah," Kagome said sheepishly. "It's as good as new. I hope." She handed her the keys. "I need a ride home though," she pointed out, clasping her hands. Kuranosuke looked like he sorely wanted to interrupt.
Sango opened her mouth to offer but Kagome interrupted. "Since I know you have to update the records this weekend I think that you should stay here." She help up a hand to silence her.
"But Sango, you silly girl, you didn't tell me that you had a new boyfriend! I guess he's the one that nice car outside belongs to?" she continued with an enthusiastic wink. "I'd really like to ride in it," Kagome said earnestly. "If it's okay with you . . ."
"Actually," Kuranosuke interjected, "Sango and I - "
"Kuranosuke-san," Sango said suddenly, laying a hand on his arm. She wasn't up to the interrogations just yet. "It won't take that long."
He gave her another analyzing look before turning back to Kagome with a polite smile. "Well, I suppose I could . . . let's get going, shall we?"
"Bye Sango-chan!" Kagome waved, stepping off of her porch. "Sorry about the car and all."
Sango waved back, still confused about what had just transpired. She couldn't have seen the car that turned the corner after Kuranosuke and Kagome had left.
--
A few minutes later, Sango threw the door open once again, half-expecting to see Kuranosuke, her mouth already half open to ask him why he was back already. Instead, a lean man of roughly the same height rushed forward and closed the space between them, his hands firmly clamping on to her hips and his mouth closing in on hers.
"Miroku," she said breathlessly as he pulled away. "You shouldn't be here."
"That's the third time today, Sango. Three times too many." He still held her.
"This has to stop," she whispered, flattening her hands against his chest. "I think - I think it would be for the best."
"Sango," he said, gripping her tighter. "Who was the one who flew into my arms and pulled my face to theirs, before whispering my name and trying to rip my shirt off?"
As foolish as it sounded coming from him, the words hit her somewhere near her heart. "I was being stupid, Miroku. The truth is, my feelings have been all over the place. I can't trust myself right now."
His hand gently turned her face towards him. "Neither can I."
As soon as his lips met hers she could feel her breath being stolen from her. Her hands moved across the broad expanse of his chest to grip his shoulders tightly. She drew back again, panting slightly, and half-heartedly pushed at him.
"He might come back soon."
"What are you worried about? That he'll leave you? That he'll find you with me?"
"Everything, Miroku," she sighed, turning away and wrapping her arms around herself. "Everything." Her skin was still hot from where his hands had been.
"We have some time, Sango. A little bit," he was saying softly behind her. "We need to talk."
"How do you know?" she found herself asking.
She could see him shrug out of the corner of her eye. "I ran into Kagome-san on my way out. A little time is better than nothing at all."
"So you mean - "
He cut her words short. "I - We're stuck in the past. We both say it's over yet we know we're far from it. Why would we be acting the way we are, either hating or wanting, with no line between? I . . . I gave it some time, I gave you - us, some time to think, to take a breather."
He was behind her now, pulling her hair behind her shoulder and letting it slide through his fingers. "I still love you," he whispered.
A shiver snaked through her body from her scalp to her toes and she stiffened. "I worked so hard. I threw myself into everything in my life, just to forget about you," she confessed, digging her nails into her arm to keep from biting them, or even worse, touching him.
"Now I've dug myself into a hole so deep. Now I just don't know how I feel, what to do. And I don't want to hurt you and Takeda and I might, or I will. I know it." She was speaking to herself more than anyone.
"I just wanted to . . . "
"You don't need to think about anyone else. Think about you. Be selfish for once."
"You . . . everyone is expecting something from me. Kohaku, Takeda - "
"Kohaku is your brother. He wants you to be happy. Takeda . . .I am sure he does care for you," he finished encouragingly. She lifted her chin a tiny bit, frowning.
"And you . . . I see you standing there, you want so much from me, and I just can't . . . you're the selfish one- "
"Snap out of it!" he interrupted, gripping her shoulders and giving her a gentle shake. "It's not about everyone else! You think you're confused, but you're forgetting the strength you have. You don't need anyone or anything to dictate your life. You can't continue to give yourself away like this. Hell, you can't continue like this at all."
His hand gently rested under her chin, raising it before softly brushing through her bangs and smoothing back flyaway strands from her face.
"The only weakness I have is your manipulation of words!"
"Remember?" he said with a wry twist of his mouth, something like a smile but not quite. "We aren't invincible. Maybe we were once, before the first time we felt lost . . . but now we aren't."
She felt her own mouth move of its own accord and part as she bit down on her tongue.
"I can't make you do anything that you don't want to do. You have a chance to start over the right way, and move ahead to the future. Regardless of whether or not it is one that includes me, I want you to remember me as someone who still cares about you."
His voice was so soothing, and he sounded so sincere.
"Miroku . . . I hated you because you left. You left me while you held the knowledge that something was wrong . . . but I remember, I asked you to leave. I hated you for that, for doing what I told you to do . . . "
She felt his chin moving on her shoulder as he spoke. "It was wrong, I knew it was wrong from the moment I walked out that door. It wasn't forever . . . it was never forever. I'm sorry if you thought that way."
Her arms tightened around him as though she was trying to hurt him. "Why didn't you say anything? I didn't know . . . I always . . . I thought it was nothing to you, and I wanted to prove that I could be just as cold. "
"Sango, you spoil me, do you know that? I thought . . . I thought that without words, you'd understand. It wasn't my intention . . . "
"You did nothing to show me that," she snapped.
He shook his head and shifted her away from him, resting his hands on her shoulders.
"What I ask of you is simple. Sango. I want you to try. And when you know, tell me where you want to be; with or without me. Just know . . . I couldn't promise you everything, and I still can't, but as long as you'll have me - if you will have me - I'll always be there for you."
--
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The harder I push the further I fall.
Well, you don't mind me being headstrong,
But you don't want to sing along.
Maybe it's trite but I can always, always, always be wrong
-Ender Will Save Us All, Dashboard Confessional