Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha/ Dashboard Confessional.
(10/28/04)
A/N: Shima is a character that appears late in the manga or anime episode 161, for anyone who follows the CN episodes only. I'm Canadian, and I happen to know we're real behind. Anyway, she's just a girl who appears and there's some whole big misunderstanding, etc. Yeah.
Windesprite - My made up words are prettier than real words. ohJoy -Night is the time. I'd rather sleep in till afternoon than get up early. KaguratheWind, kirara980-My stories are the most anticlimatic, plotlessthings ever, but thank you anyway. Aamalie - You do not love me. You hate me. I have evidence! RavenFireI - It's probably just confusing, lol. Stupid May can't write coherently.lol, get on Aamalie's nerves?Starzki - "And then they all died" is probably goingto start sounding real good.Iggy04 - Plot twist? Was there a plot to begin with? Plot? What's that? Lady Sango 7 - Do not fear, I don't neglect Koharu! Shewill be making an appearancein another story. Okay, I'll stop plugging now. Where are you? I miss ya! Lily Thorne - Iam just a confusing girl, aren't I? Demon Exterminator Barbie - It'sabout fourAM now, we should sleep. Flaming Red Fox - I don't know, I'm just a drama/angst sort of girl. I don't really go for much fluff. Which might explain why my fluff is crap. Professional Writer? The day that happens mobs will come after me with torches and pitchforks. eef - At first I thought your review was three reasons the ending was messed up, lol. Let's just say I was a little bit relieved when I reread. But thanks...those are really overwhelming things to say, don't deserve none of it. Crap this is getting too long. Sorry people I don't mention, but I still have lots more love to send through computer screens. Thank you all for reviewing. Have a safe and happy holiday.
-- May
"Are you sure this won't get us into trouble?" Sango asked worriedly, eyeing the lock on the door.
"No, no, it's fine, don't worry about a thing," he insisted as he held her tightly. "It was nice of you to come by today."
"Wasn't it?" she replied, sounding somewhat uncomfortable.
"Unless . . . you came by for anything else," he looked at her searchingly.
She shook her head, lightly kissing him on the cheek. "To see you, of course. But not in a fitting room," she added with a shake of her head.
He kissed her back. "It's . . .cozy. Well what?" he burst at her reprimanding look. "Where else could we go? We have about fifteen minutes."
Leaning against him lazily, she arched an eyebrow. "I swear we had fifteen minutes half an hour ago."
He shrugged. "I'm extending my break."
Holding her face and kissing her again, she sighed in amused exasperation. "It's a surprise the drugstore doesn't get cleared out when you're on duty."
"Why would you think that, buttercup?" he grinned. "I'm the best there is."
He straightened arrogantly, and she laughed. "No one will even try anything as long as I'm here!"
She snuggled against him again, thinking about what to say next.
"Miroku . . . you're not exactly new to relationships, are you?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean . . ." she bit her lip and then a little bit of her thumbnail. "Like, you've had girlfriends before me. Obviously."
"Well . . . I have, being the stud that I am," he joked, then his tone softened. "But you're really something, Sango. I can see myself with you for a really long time."
"You mean that?" she asked, flushing.
"Yes. Why do you ask? Want to meet up with the former ladies and discuss my finer qualities?"
"Like how dirty you are?" Sango suggested with a smile. "How you are a pervert with no modesty?"
She tilted her head back in thought. "How you work security, and random items suddenly appear on the kitchen table? You use fitting rooms not for trying on clothes." She rolled her eyes.
"Hey, I did bring some clothes for you to try on."
Glancing towards the little hook where a set of lingerie hung off of a hanger, she rolled her eyes once again.
"And you're the only girl I bring to my special fitting room."
"I'd hate to think of what you do in here without me."
"Absolutely nothing," he filled in, absently brushing his fingers through her hair. "Well, congratulations Sango, you are officially an expert on me."
"I study every night."
"You have a beauty mark - " he pushed her sweater over the curve of her shoulder, "here," and sure enough, there it was. Reaching around her and trailing his fingers down the rounded bumps of her spine he pressed lightly at the very base of her back. "There's one here too." He cupped her rear in resignation. "Since my hand was so close, I might as well . . . " he laughed.
Suddenly very self-conscious, her skin became heated and she pushed his hand away as affectionately as she could.
He only put them back on her hips, where they travelled underneath her shirt and rested along old scars.
"When you were sixteen Kohaku crashed his bike into yours and you had to get stitches."
"You remember that?"
"Yes, you told me when I kept on touching it."
His fingers tickled her sides, bringing her sweater off her shoulders and onto the ground. "Another beauty mark," he said softly, kissing her collarbone. "And here," he brushed her bangs aside, "is a scar from when you scratched a pimple off."
She laughed quietly, gently moving her hands along him as well. "I know for a fact that you have a beauty mark here," she pressed on his hipbone. "And quite a collection of scratches, right here," she trailed her hands up and down his back.
"From you," he reminded her, pulling her face forward and kissing her.
"You know what?" she sighed, warm in his embrace. "You need to go back to work."
"After you try those on."
"No."
"I suppose that's okay. I wouldn't want Inuyasha ogling you naked."
"What?"
He turned her shoulders slightly and pointed to the corner of the ceiling. "Wave with me, and mouth, 'Hi Inuyasha!' "
She crossed her arms and shook her head, picking up her sweater and covering herself. "You pervert."
"Technically, he's the pervert, engaging in voyeurism. It doesn't matter, he can learn a thing or two from watching professionals."
Any Given Someday
Chapter Eleven
Deliriunaware
"Hi," the girl said uncertainly. Her face was slightly rounded, and young. Long dark bangs fell over the corners of her hesitant eyes.
"Get back behind the counter, stupid," Inuyasha snapped at her. "Someone might need help with all the medicine and crap, and heaven forbid, they might ask me."
Ignoring him, the girl gestured to Sango to follow her around the counter. "I'm the new pharmaceutical assistant," she explained. "Shoku Shima."
"Shima . . ." Sango echoed.
"I'm a friend of Miroku," she offered, still looking unsure.
"I'm sure you are," Sango replied, not hiding her sarcasm. "I knew your voice was familiar."
"It was you then, right? You were the one that called." She didn't sound as if that were remotely new to her. "You two are together."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
The girl let out a light laugh. It fell on Sango's ears like pins on a sheet of glass.
"Don't you? Or do you think that Miroku and I were together, and you just don't want to admit it to yourself?"
Sango narrowed her eyes at the girl and now wished she had made more of an effort to look presentable.
"But we're not together, and we weren't even together when you called that time."
Sango shook her head, recovering. "Yeah, you just live in the neighboring apartment and your phone lines are crossed."
Shima returned her icy tone with a knowing smile. "I didn't say I wasn't there with him, I'm just saying we weren't together, and we are not."
"Let me guess, ex-girlfriend with occasional benefits?"
At this, a slight crease appeared in Shima's forehead as she frowned. "No, I'm not like that at all. Miroku and I, we are good friends. I admit . . . we tried dating once, and it turned out horribly."
She was smiling again, propping her elbow on the counter and leaning into her palm. "I don't blame you for thinking that, it's completely understandable."
Sango looked away, uncomfortable. "I still don't see how this all leads to you confronting me like this . . ."
Shima's eyes shifted and she suddenly looked a little guilty. "Sango . . . Kirisame, isn't it?"
As Sango nodded in confirmation, she continued, lowering her voice. "The reason that I was there was because Miroku-san hasn't been at his best lately, which I'm sure you know."
"Neither am I," she found herself saying. "It's been strange, and life seems normal enough . . . but still . . . strange." Here she was divulging life's little details to someone she barely knew.
"He's been asking me for help. Concerning depression, prescription drugs . . . he may not have shown it or you may not have noticed, but he was distraught, Kirisame-san. He was worried, not only about you but about what he'd done, and if it would only hurt you further, as it relates to your problem."
"You're . . . he asked you not to tell me this. I can see it in your face," Sango said in a cracking voice. "Why?"
"Because," Shima sighed, tugging at her collar. "As I said before, you may not have seen it, but he was truly concerned. All I could tell him was that it was a wake-up call to the both of you to see where your actions would take you, and their consequences. He always intended to be a part of your life."
"Where . . .where is he now?"
"About you, he's . . . he's not sure anymore. Apparently, something happened with you and an old friend?" Shima said. "One of two things, you've moved on, or you're doing all you can to forget him. Where he is, I don't know. I'm sorry. "
"Shit," Sango swore, biting at her nails. "Damn it."
Shima gave her a curious look. "What do you think?"
"I know . . . I know what I have to do, but . . . it's too late."
A distant, closed aura formed around Shima, whose eyes had closed halfway, somewhat dreamily. "It's never too late," she said, her voice wistful. "You have something incredible within your reach, Kirisame-san, hold it tightly and never let it go."
"I did."
"Well, in your case, it was never gone."
--
"So?" Kohaku asked in excitement as his older sister walked in the door. "What happened?"
She shook her head wearily and slumped next to him on the couch. "I have no idea where he is."
"His place? Work?"
"No."
"Damn." Kohaku slumped as well. "What can you do now?"
"I don't know," Sango sighed. "Now that I actually have the will to go and talk with him, he's nowhere to be found."
"And the will to talk with him came after the will to get in bed and -"
She silenced him with a look. "I guess I'll just have to wait. Maybe he'll be at work tomorrow morning . . ."
--
"We had a baby girl. A little baby girl, and we named her Mina."
"That's wonderful!" Sango exclaimed, trying her best to sound genuinely happy. Truthfully, she was, it was just hard to express it when she had felt herself shrink upon seeing the good old Mr. Omura, back at his post.
Strange; a week ago and she would have been overjoyed.
She couldn't concentrate on a single thing. Every thought that passed through her mind was a variation of, 'where is he?' Not even the first few days she had been without him did she find herself as concentrated on his whereabouts as much as she was now.
Miroku. She flipped a pen between her fingers. Now that I'm done hiding from myself, I can't find you!
--
A light drizzle came with the transition of seasons, forming droplets of water on Sango's skin as she found herself looking up. The sun was out. It was one of those strange days when the sun flooded the sky, and you were fooled from the other side of the window thinking it was warm and dry outside. Once you left the protection of your home, you found that it rained near invisible drops. A sharp chill was present in the air.
It was a strange sight for those who chose to venture out this late afternoon, either to walk their dogs or run small errands. In fact, the few who were close enough craned their necks and paused to check if this girl was okay.
Well, not so much girl, for she was a full grown woman, however the way she was standing in the middle of the field, her shoes dangling from one hand as she shaded her eyes with the other, facing the rain and trying to taste it with her tongue.
And for one moment, one flash of lightning, one raindrop in a torrent, one tear in an ocean, she was a lost little girl.
I'm not hiding from myself anymore.
A shiver slid down her spine as she spoke, but not because she was cold. "I've been looking for you."
An almost inaudible chuckle. "Or so I've heard."
Looking at him, she almost felt her entire body warm, until the point she realized that he was waiting expectantly for her to speak, and suddenly a lump had manifested in her throat.
"Where have you been?" Damn, her voice sounded so ragged.
"Not at work, not at the old place. I've been out. Wandering, if you will. Visiting old places."
"That sounds like a good way to spend your weekend . . . " she commented awkwardly. She knew this wasn't going to start out smoothly.
"I've spent a lot of my time . . . revisiting old memories."
"They're not old." It spilled out before she could stop it. "I'm sorry," she apologized. "Miroku, I - "
"You always had trouble going first." He sounded amused. "Would you like me to start?"
Embarrassed, her head barely moved as she nodded.
"I haven't much to say right now . . . I think I've said and done what I could. True, there are some things I wish I haven't done; things I regret. I regret, " he started to count on his fingers. "Hurting you, playing with your feelings, telling you how serious we were while I took my own honesty lightly. I regret not asking you more and you not telling me more."
He held on to her limp fingers loosely and she let him. "Sango, I am always willing to wait for you. You can ask me for all the time in the world . . . and I would wait. I'm not going to stall, I'm not going to force you through any more of this hell. Why take more time alone when all we do is pity ourselves and miss each other?"
She made herself laugh a little, in spite of themselves, as if it would lighten the mood just a tiny bit, before answering him.
"The past few weeks . . . have been terrible. I knew that you wanted me to be happy for myself, and not just for anyone else, and I tried, I swear I did. I almost reached that happiness. What stopped me was . . . you. That last part of me was you."
Her fingers moved up his arms and shoulders and pulled his face to hers. She kissed him quickly, and he was leaning forward so she couldn't pull away.
"Miroku," she gasped, breaking their kiss. "The day you left I . . . I never took them again. It hurt, everything hurt so much because of it, and I let it hurt me, so that one day, some day you'd trust me again."
She darted forward and seized him in another kiss, stopping it before he could respond.
"Everything . . . everything built up between us, until it reached that breaking point that just erupted in chaos. I hurt you, we hurt each other, I ran away from you and all the pieces left after the fall, all while knowing my actions were wrong," she paused to catch her breath.
"I know what I've done, what we've done to each other. I know what hurt is and what these feelings are. To be happy is to be happy with what you are. And when I lost you, I lost so much, and I don't want to lose anything anymore."
Barely noticing her bated breath, she closed her eyes and pressed her forehead against his, feeling her eyelashes graze his face.
"And after everything is said and done," she whispered. "You're all I have left to gain."
"Sango," he said gently. "Sango, I wish it could be as simple as going back to what it was before -- it's not. You didn't trust me, we lied . . . I'd be afraid of doing something to hurt you."
Pulling back, she shook her head quickly. "I don't want that. What we had - have, is there, the feelings. They were always there." Swallowing, she dropped his hands and took a step backwards from him.
"It's so hard to express this . . . " she muttered, rubbing her temples. "Miroku, what I'm trying to say is that I don't want to compare now with then, and worry about making mistakes. This is . . . no secrets, no lies, if I'm doing something to piss you off, then tell me! Miroku, I just --" she sucked in a breath and bit on the inside of her cheek, motioning to him to let her finish.
"We're going to make more mistakes in the future, but I want . . . I want to make them with you, learn from them with you, and better myself -- with you."
She wavered on the spot at the energy that was being sucked from her body and poured into her words. He and I . . . only able to show the feelings that were wrong.
"Miroku . . . I didn't want to scare you away." She said it fiercely, determination set in her gaze.
"I'm asking you not to go."
He closed the space between them with a swift stride and had lifted her from the ground just as she thought her knees would give out from beneath her.
"Sango," his voice was muffled by the way his face was placed against her neck and shoulder. "The only thing that scared me was when I thought I'd never get you back."
Her fingers curled around the loose fabric of his shirt. "Would you still wait?"
She grew dizzy with emotion, and maybe because he was spinning them, but either way she landed gently on the ground, his body cushioning her fall on the grass. The ground was wet, and their clothes were now a mess, and somewhere in the back of her mind, it registered that people were staring, but she didn't care.
Laying atop his chest, she revelled in the rhythm of his heartbeat and steady breathing for a moment as they absorbed what exactly had just happened. His fingers absently stroked her hair and down her back, playing with a few strands in thought.
"Sango." He hoisted her closer to his level, so that the top of her head was level with his chin. "I don't want to miss anything. I want us to support one another. I want to be there when you're falling, when you hit the ground."
Craning her neck, she softly kissed the line of his jaw as he spoke.
"Stay. Stay forever, and a day."
He rolled over, gripping her waist and kissing her parted lips twice. Pushing her bangs back and kissing her forehead, she sighed, and held him tightly as their breaths fell in time together.
Because when she was with him, they were the only people in the world.
--
-
But the hours they creep
The patterns repeat
Don't be concerned
You know I'll be fine on my own.
I never said don't go
-- Dashboard Confessional, This Ruined Puzzle