Chakotay was awakened in the middle of the night by a small noise. Not sure where it was coming from, he got up, looked into the adjoining bedroom and found Kathryn was not in bed. Walking out into the main room he could see her pacing the floor. "Kathryn," she jumped upon hearing his voice. "I didn't mean to startle you. What are doing up? It's still late."
"I didn't mean to wake you Chakotay. Please go back to bed."
He walked up to her and placed his hands on her arms, "Kathryn something is eating you up inside. What is it? I wish you would tell me." Kathryn looked up into his eyes and finally decided that this is it. She had to tell him.
"I...um...well, there is something that I do need to tell you." Chakotay looked at her with a worried expression as she tried to get the words out. Tears slid down her cheek and then she felt Chakotay's fingers wipe them away. "What is it Kathryn? You're starting to scare me."
"I'm...I'm pregnant." It was barely a whisper, but in the quietness of the room Chakotay knew exactly what she had said. He pulled her into an embrace as a smile formed on his face. "Kathryn this is wonderful!"
She began to push away from Chakotay, "please let me go." He stood back stunned by her actions.
"Aren't you happy about this Kathryn?" There was no response. "Please tell me you want this child." Still no response. She couldn't even look at him. "Are you telling me you don't want this. If that was the case, why bother telling me at all?"
She knew he would be angry, but it still stunned her a bit. "I'm not sure what I'm going to do. This is a complicated situation. Maybe if we weren't on Voyager, stranded in the Delta Quadrant and I wasn't captain, things would be different. I can't be a captain and a mother."
At this point Chakotay was getting very angry, "and why not? Where in the world does it say that you can't do both? How can you make a decision about this pregnancy without me? I helped create this life just as much as you...don't I have a say?"
"Yes, but..."
"No buts Kathryn! I'm the father of this baby and I have rights too!" Chakotay turned around and walked out, slamming the door. He noticed the storm had passed and a cool breeze hit him once he was outside. Kathryn knew everything he said was right and felt terrible for having kept this from him. She walked slowly over to the door and opened it. She could see his dark figure standing on the porch and moved to be by his side, placing her hand on top of his on the rail. "Chakotay, I'm sorry. I should have told you sooner about this, but I'm scared. I know I've really hurt you with all this, but I...I do love you." She waited for some sort of response from Chakotay, but when she didn't receive one her heart sank even more. Removing her hand from Chakotay's she walked back inside the cabin and sat down on the couch. Chakotay could hear here sobbing and walked back inside as well. Kneeling in front of her, he took Kathryn's hands away from her face and into his.
"Kathryn, I love you with all my heart. I hate to see you in this much pain so I'm going to ask you this just once and will respect your decision. Do you want to terminate this pregnancy?"
Time seemed to stand still as he waited for her response and then he finally got it. "No." Before she could say anymore, Chakotay pulled Kathryn down to the floor and kissed her like she remembered on New Earth. After the kiss was broken Kathryn spoke again, "I'm really scared Chakotay. I know I can't do this alone. I don't think I ever wanted to terminate this pregnancy. I just kept hiding behind Starfleet and protocols." Placing a hand on Chakotay's face she continued, "I'm so sorry for everything I've put you through these last few weeks. I never meant to hurt you."
Chakotay took her hand and lightly kissed it. "Your actions really did hurt me and I think it's going to take a while before we can get back on track, but never forget how much I truly love you. Now, it's pretty late and I think we should go back to bed before we have to be back on Voyager."
Kathryn smiled as Chakotay helped her up. They walked towards the bedrooms and Chakotay headed into his first. "Chakotay, would you mind sleeping with me? I want you to hold me tonight." Chakotay knew that this was part of her way to try and begin to mend the rift between them. "You realize that this doesn't make everything right. We have a lot to work out between us." Kathryn nodded quietly and held out her hand. He took hold of her hand as she led them into the bedroom. Climbing into bed, Kathryn laid her head on Chakotay's chest, listening to his heartbeat. It seemed to calm her somehow and with the events of the past day, she quickly fell asleep, as did Chakotay.
"I didn't mean to wake you Chakotay. Please go back to bed."
He walked up to her and placed his hands on her arms, "Kathryn something is eating you up inside. What is it? I wish you would tell me." Kathryn looked up into his eyes and finally decided that this is it. She had to tell him.
"I...um...well, there is something that I do need to tell you." Chakotay looked at her with a worried expression as she tried to get the words out. Tears slid down her cheek and then she felt Chakotay's fingers wipe them away. "What is it Kathryn? You're starting to scare me."
"I'm...I'm pregnant." It was barely a whisper, but in the quietness of the room Chakotay knew exactly what she had said. He pulled her into an embrace as a smile formed on his face. "Kathryn this is wonderful!"
She began to push away from Chakotay, "please let me go." He stood back stunned by her actions.
"Aren't you happy about this Kathryn?" There was no response. "Please tell me you want this child." Still no response. She couldn't even look at him. "Are you telling me you don't want this. If that was the case, why bother telling me at all?"
She knew he would be angry, but it still stunned her a bit. "I'm not sure what I'm going to do. This is a complicated situation. Maybe if we weren't on Voyager, stranded in the Delta Quadrant and I wasn't captain, things would be different. I can't be a captain and a mother."
At this point Chakotay was getting very angry, "and why not? Where in the world does it say that you can't do both? How can you make a decision about this pregnancy without me? I helped create this life just as much as you...don't I have a say?"
"Yes, but..."
"No buts Kathryn! I'm the father of this baby and I have rights too!" Chakotay turned around and walked out, slamming the door. He noticed the storm had passed and a cool breeze hit him once he was outside. Kathryn knew everything he said was right and felt terrible for having kept this from him. She walked slowly over to the door and opened it. She could see his dark figure standing on the porch and moved to be by his side, placing her hand on top of his on the rail. "Chakotay, I'm sorry. I should have told you sooner about this, but I'm scared. I know I've really hurt you with all this, but I...I do love you." She waited for some sort of response from Chakotay, but when she didn't receive one her heart sank even more. Removing her hand from Chakotay's she walked back inside the cabin and sat down on the couch. Chakotay could hear here sobbing and walked back inside as well. Kneeling in front of her, he took Kathryn's hands away from her face and into his.
"Kathryn, I love you with all my heart. I hate to see you in this much pain so I'm going to ask you this just once and will respect your decision. Do you want to terminate this pregnancy?"
Time seemed to stand still as he waited for her response and then he finally got it. "No." Before she could say anymore, Chakotay pulled Kathryn down to the floor and kissed her like she remembered on New Earth. After the kiss was broken Kathryn spoke again, "I'm really scared Chakotay. I know I can't do this alone. I don't think I ever wanted to terminate this pregnancy. I just kept hiding behind Starfleet and protocols." Placing a hand on Chakotay's face she continued, "I'm so sorry for everything I've put you through these last few weeks. I never meant to hurt you."
Chakotay took her hand and lightly kissed it. "Your actions really did hurt me and I think it's going to take a while before we can get back on track, but never forget how much I truly love you. Now, it's pretty late and I think we should go back to bed before we have to be back on Voyager."
Kathryn smiled as Chakotay helped her up. They walked towards the bedrooms and Chakotay headed into his first. "Chakotay, would you mind sleeping with me? I want you to hold me tonight." Chakotay knew that this was part of her way to try and begin to mend the rift between them. "You realize that this doesn't make everything right. We have a lot to work out between us." Kathryn nodded quietly and held out her hand. He took hold of her hand as she led them into the bedroom. Climbing into bed, Kathryn laid her head on Chakotay's chest, listening to his heartbeat. It seemed to calm her somehow and with the events of the past day, she quickly fell asleep, as did Chakotay.