The trek to the Oathgate across the dark ground of Shadesmar was frenetic.
Kaladin had flown them as long as he could, but in the end most of their travel was on foot. Shallan's feet protested strenuously, but according to the vision the lead bridgeboy had seen, they had to proceed swiftly.
Breaks were rare, and rest was almost nonexistent. After a full day's walking, they finally collectively collapsed to collect themselves.
Shallan leaned against Adolin's shoulder, sighing with relief as she reached her freehand over to trace fingers along the back of her partner's gloved safehand. She tried to keep her attention on Adolin, but they kept wanting to slide over to Kaladin, as though drawn by some intractable force. How was it possible for that storming man to be so attractive when he was scowling?
"So, did you notice?" Adolin asked suddenly.
Shaking her head, Shallan made a point of turning her attention on Adolin. "Notice what?" she asked quickly, hoping to cover up her leering.
Adolin nodded their head in the opposite direction of Kaladin, where a small clump had formed. Design was cooing over Prince Gavinor as Pattern watched with interest, while Azure and Kari were sitting close, Kari resting her head on the other woman's shoulder.
Shallan smiled. "Yes, I have. They seem to be getting along quite well."
Adolin stifled a laugh. "I hope they continue to do so, even if it will require quite the explanation once we've returned." 'Once' we've returned, not 'if' we return, Shallan noticed. "I don't have a problem with Azure, but can you imagine my family's reaction?"
Considering the idea, Shallan noted, "I think your father might actually approve. He likes soldiers."
"Maybe. I'm more concerned about Jasnah."
"Why?" Shallan tilted her head. "Do you think she might want to fight Kari for her?"
Judging by the sudden sound that came from Adolin, they might have started to choke on their own spit. "J-Jasnah? You think she'd...?" They gestured vaguely with their freehand in Azure's direction.
"Fighting over her is an exaggeration, Jasnah was the one who assigned me a text on polyamory. Regardless, I could see attraction being involved. You can't?" Shallan wasn't certain of her mentor's sexuality, necessarily, but she would bet a broam or two that the woman was not straight.
"Keeping in mind that you've spent more time with her in the last year than I have in the last decade, I don't know." Adolin frowned, and Shallan could hear a sense of regret in their voice. "I've never seen her engage in any...there've been rumors, but when asked she's always denied them."
Shallan decided not to point out that it was an easy assumption to make about a woman in her late thirties who'd yet to publicly court anyone. Though, that did bring up another idea. "You know... I could be off the mark. She might just be uninterested in romance altogether."
"That definitely sounds more likely to me," Adolin said, burying their face into Shallan's hair and planting a few small kisses. "Though for the life of me I can't imagine what that would be like."
"Oh really?" Shallan rolled her eyes, then turned her head so she could give Adolin a quick kiss back on their cheek. "I wonder why that would be. Now, I've forgotten, are there any lighteyed women in the warcamps you never courted?"
For a moment, Shallan could have sworn she saw Adolin attempting and failing to do mental math. "Yes there were. Plus..." Keeping their voice conversational, they looked off into the Shadesmar woods and shrugged. "...it wasn't just women. Though I had to be quieter about that, more than I'd wanted to be. I still don't know what I saw in Jakamav."
"Isn't that..." In a flash of memory, Shallan recalled the duel that almost killed Adolin. "Oh...Adolin, I'm so sorry." They shrugged again, and Shallan took it as a nonverbal hint to drop that particular topic. "Well, I'm glad you felt comfortable sharing that with me. Now that I'm aware, I'll endeavor to check for your thoughts on men I think look attractive." The second the sentence left her mouth, she felt foolish.
Suggesting that, after spending so much of our time in Shadesmar swooning at Kaladin? I'm a thrice-damned imbecile with crem for brains.
Adolin was about to reply when Kaladin got up, and it became clear it was time to get moving once more.
"Well, six is better than several thousand," Shallan said as they watched the field before Oathgate from afar.
The attempt at levity did not go over well.
Both Pattern and Design hummed nervously. For once, Kari's Cryptic did not exude peppiness. Syl was doing her best to seem hopeful, Kaladin was grim as always, and Adolin was pacing back and forth. Kari looked exhausted from carrying her son, and Azure was still wearing that expression towards Kaladin of 'I storming told you so'.
Running a hand through their hair, Adolin answered Shallan's comment. "Better is not the same as doable."
Kari looked at Azure. "Are you sure? We have two fighters, Kaladin with the harpoon and Azure with her sword. It's six opponents, but... if they can hold out, it's possible another group can get the Oathgate to let us through?"
"I'm good, Stormblessed is good, but those odds are still terrible." Azure reached into the pocket of her uniform, feeling at something without pulling it out. "...I'm still willing to try it, though. If you are, that is." She nodded at Kaladin.
After taking a long, slow breath, the Windrunner nodded. "Some Lightweaving would make this easier."
Shallan sighed. They might have had enough Stormlight for that, if their group had been half the size. As it was, Kaladin had run out on the way. They'd just have to make do. There wasn't another option.
Kari and Azure whispered to each other, but Shallan focused her attention on Adolin. She grabbed their safehand and squeezed.
Neither said anything. Shallan wouldn't even know what could have been said.
This was a fight they might not survive. It was their only chance.
They descended the hill, and Shallan silently prayed to the Almighty that she would live to regret her poor choices.