Over the next few days Chakotay noticed that Kathryn spoke very little to him, although she put up a good front on the bridge. She chatted and joked with him then, but when they were alone in her ready room, she seemed to be a bit nervous and was brief with him. On the fourth day, Chakotay saw how tired she was and became concerned. He didn't want anything to happen to her, and especially to the baby. At the end of the shift, Kathryn as of yet hadn't emerged from her ready room. Chakotay walked over to the ready room doors and waited for her allow him in.
"Come!" Kathryn looked up as Chakotay entered. "Commander, is there something I can do for you?"
"Well, as a matter a fact there is. Have dinner with me tonight? You've been in here all day."
"I can't Chakotay. I have so much stuff to do...so much to catch up on. I..." Chakotay cut in before she could continue. "These reports will still be here tomorrow. You look like you could use a relaxing evening. Don't make me beg Kathryn. A grown man begging is not a pretty sight." He gave her a pouty expression and then his dimpled smile.
At the thought of her First Officer begging, Kathryn couldn't help but laugh. "Alright...you win! 18:00 hours, your quarters?" At that moment, Chakotay decided to be a bit bold. He walked around to where Kathryn was sitting, pulled her up from her chair, placed his hand under her chin, and kissed her lips softly. He then pulled back, "I'll see you then." Chakotay smiled as he left her ready room. Kathryn brought her hand up to her lips, touching where Chakotay had kissed her.
Promptly at 18:00 hours Chakotay's door chimed. He set the plates on the table and went to greet Kathryn at the door. When the door opened, they stared at each other for a few seconds. "You look beautiful Kathryn." The comment made Kathryn blush. Chakotay moved aside to let her come in. Kathryn found the lights low, a candlelit table, and soft music playing. "Oh Chakotay! Everything looks lovely!"
"Here, have a seat. Dinner is almost ready." Chakotay pulled the chair out for Kathryn as she sat down. Disappearing into the other room, he emerged a few minutes later with two salads. Returning to the room again, he brought out a vegetarian lasagna. "Mmmmmm...that smells wonderful Chakotay."
Over the next hour, they chatted, laughed, and flirted. To Chakotay it appeared that things were like they should be, but in the back of his mind, he felt that Kathryn was still hiding behind something. At the end of the dinner, they moved to the couch and quietness settled in.
Chakotay finally spoke, "Kathryn, is there something bothering you? The last few days you have been so distant. I thought we were getting back on track after you told me about the pregnancy. Now it seems like we are going backwards again. If I have done something wrong, I wish you would tell me. I love you and I'm worried."
Kathryn sat in silence before she finally spoke. "You've done nothing wrong. It's mostly my fault." Chakotay looked at her confused. "I'm still very scared about this whole thing. I'm scared for the safety of this baby...and...well for you too." She felt the tears threatening to come, but she had to continue. "There's something that nobody knows, only my family does. You know I was engaged to Justin Tighe?" Chakotay nodded. "Well, two days before he and my father were killed, I found out I was pregnant. We were together only one time, but even though I should have been scared about the whole thing, deep down I was very much happy. I never got a chance to tell Justin because the day I planned to was the day of the accident. I managed to survive, but the father of my baby didn't and I carried around tremendous guilt. I went into a deep depression. I wouldn't eat and slept constantly. Unfortunately the baby paid the price and I suffered a miscarriage a few weeks later." The tears that had threatened to spill over finally did. All Chakotay could do was move closer and pull her into his arms as she sobbed heavily. Now everything made sense.
"Come!" Kathryn looked up as Chakotay entered. "Commander, is there something I can do for you?"
"Well, as a matter a fact there is. Have dinner with me tonight? You've been in here all day."
"I can't Chakotay. I have so much stuff to do...so much to catch up on. I..." Chakotay cut in before she could continue. "These reports will still be here tomorrow. You look like you could use a relaxing evening. Don't make me beg Kathryn. A grown man begging is not a pretty sight." He gave her a pouty expression and then his dimpled smile.
At the thought of her First Officer begging, Kathryn couldn't help but laugh. "Alright...you win! 18:00 hours, your quarters?" At that moment, Chakotay decided to be a bit bold. He walked around to where Kathryn was sitting, pulled her up from her chair, placed his hand under her chin, and kissed her lips softly. He then pulled back, "I'll see you then." Chakotay smiled as he left her ready room. Kathryn brought her hand up to her lips, touching where Chakotay had kissed her.
Promptly at 18:00 hours Chakotay's door chimed. He set the plates on the table and went to greet Kathryn at the door. When the door opened, they stared at each other for a few seconds. "You look beautiful Kathryn." The comment made Kathryn blush. Chakotay moved aside to let her come in. Kathryn found the lights low, a candlelit table, and soft music playing. "Oh Chakotay! Everything looks lovely!"
"Here, have a seat. Dinner is almost ready." Chakotay pulled the chair out for Kathryn as she sat down. Disappearing into the other room, he emerged a few minutes later with two salads. Returning to the room again, he brought out a vegetarian lasagna. "Mmmmmm...that smells wonderful Chakotay."
Over the next hour, they chatted, laughed, and flirted. To Chakotay it appeared that things were like they should be, but in the back of his mind, he felt that Kathryn was still hiding behind something. At the end of the dinner, they moved to the couch and quietness settled in.
Chakotay finally spoke, "Kathryn, is there something bothering you? The last few days you have been so distant. I thought we were getting back on track after you told me about the pregnancy. Now it seems like we are going backwards again. If I have done something wrong, I wish you would tell me. I love you and I'm worried."
Kathryn sat in silence before she finally spoke. "You've done nothing wrong. It's mostly my fault." Chakotay looked at her confused. "I'm still very scared about this whole thing. I'm scared for the safety of this baby...and...well for you too." She felt the tears threatening to come, but she had to continue. "There's something that nobody knows, only my family does. You know I was engaged to Justin Tighe?" Chakotay nodded. "Well, two days before he and my father were killed, I found out I was pregnant. We were together only one time, but even though I should have been scared about the whole thing, deep down I was very much happy. I never got a chance to tell Justin because the day I planned to was the day of the accident. I managed to survive, but the father of my baby didn't and I carried around tremendous guilt. I went into a deep depression. I wouldn't eat and slept constantly. Unfortunately the baby paid the price and I suffered a miscarriage a few weeks later." The tears that had threatened to spill over finally did. All Chakotay could do was move closer and pull her into his arms as she sobbed heavily. Now everything made sense.