In the aftermath of the battle, Adolin was struggling to find Shallan.
To an extent, that made sense. The conflict between Odium's forces and those of the Coalition had wrecked the city. Rubble was strewn everywhere, thanks to the destruction wrought by the thunderclasts. Soldiers and citizens alike were left to accumulate where they'd been directed to.
Yet, this was Shallan. It was hard not to spot Shallan in a crowd, so long as she wasn't Lightweaving away her distinctive red curls.
But Adolin couldn't catch a glimpse of her, and no one they'd asked could find her either. They were almost to the point of ordering a search, when they noticed something.
The stone on the wall near them has an odd shape to it, the surface rippled in a pattern.
A...pattern. "Do you know where Shallan is?" Adolin asked, feeling more than a little foolish to be standing there, speaking to a wall.
"Mmm..." Pattern hummed, and while Adolin didn't know the spren well, they had a feeling that he was anxious. "She is... hiding. She would not want me to lead you to her."
"Do you think she should remain alone, Pattern?"
The Cryptic considered that, then darted away. Unfortunately, he moved fast enough that Adolin completely lost track of his location, not even sure which direction he went. "Pattern!" they called. "Can you...float? That's a thing you can do, right?"
They had to look around, but thirty strides behind Adolin was a floating distortion in the air, a collection of lines that looked much more like Pattern's head in Shadesmar than his two-dimensional ripple ever did. "Follow," he said, voice insistent, and then started moving.
As it turned out, Pattern did not have a salient grasp of exactly what Adolin was capable of in their injured condition. "I can't climb this!" they shouted, staring at Pattern as he floated above a twenty foot mound of destroyed building.
Still, eventually he was able to lead Adolin to...something. At first, they were confused as to why Pattern had stopped in a dead end alley, far away from anything of importance. Then, they noticed the shadows in one corner were unnaturally dark, and as they walked closer, saw Shallan curled up. She'd used her powers to make herself blend into the darkness, but a close examination revealed the lie.
"Go away." Shallan's voice was small, quieter than Adolin had ever heard it before.
Sitting on the ground near her, Adolin let out a sigh and stretched out. "Can I at least rest here for a minute? Pattern led me on quite the chase, and my legs could use a break."
It was hard to tell, Shallan hadn't removed her Lightweaving, but Adolin was pretty sure she shrugged her shoulders at them. "Do what you like."
It took some time for them to think of what to say. "What did I do?" Adolin finally asked, scared of what the answer would be. "Things were going too well, I knew I'd mess up sooner or later. Please, just let me know, and I'll..." They didn't finish the thought, unsure what else to say when they didn't even know how they'd made her upset.
Shallan raised her head to look at them, eyes narrowed. "What did...what did you do?" She sounded out the last two words, as though unfamiliar with how they tasted leaving her mouth.
"Well, as we talked about yesterday, I have an extensive history of making an ass out of myself. Considering you just... vanished, I assumed the obvious." Shallan didn't reply, no matter how much time Adolin gave her, so they decided to change the subject. "Since you asked, I think Sebarial is rather attractive."
"What." Shallan sucked in a breath as she spoke, and the layer of darkness hiding her retreated, changing into iridescent Stormlight before disappearing. Shallan's eyebrows rose, and she regarded Adolin with immense skepticism. "You're not serious."
"No, I'm not," Adolin admitted, a smile finally coming to their lips. At least Shallan was talking again. "As much care as he takes with grooming his beard, the effect is hampered by the amount of flatulent humor he tends to rely on. One man I think we can both agree is worth the time to look at, however, is our dear scowling bridgeboy." Adolin reached out their freehand, hoping Shallan would take it.
She did, though through the fabric her grip felt unsure. "You... noticed, then?"
"That he is far too attractive for someone that aggravating? Yes, I did." They squeezed her sleeved safehand. "Is that what this is about? Do you think..." Adolin stopped, considered, and decided not to continue. In the past, Adolin might have tried to pretend everything was fine, but they wanted their relationship with Shallan to be more honest than that. "I noticed that you've been looking at him. And, I've tried not to be insecure, but it's difficult. Kaladin is..." Words defied a simple ending to that sentence.
Shallan rested her head in her arms, her face now completely covered by a flood of curly red hair. "He is. I'm sorry. I don't want you to worry, it's just... a struggle. With myself. Or not, I'm having a hard time understanding it."
It all poured out of her. Veil and Radiant and the others that she'd at least managed to ensure didn't stick. The advice from Wit that she was failing to truly put into practice. The fear that she wasn't even the true Shallan.
Her words didn't come with tears, as far as Adolin could tell. Instead it sounded like... like Shallan was reading a prepared statement. Or worse, a confession.
When she'd finished, Adolin leaned close and rested their forehead on the back of Shallan's neck. "I won't pretend I understand what you're going through. But... you have to do the same for me, right? My gender, my crime, my position. We both have issues the other doesn't quite get. That's... normal."
A strangled sound that might have been a laugh emerged from Shallan's hidden face. "Ah, yes. I'm truly the epitome of normal, how could I have missed that? Quick, let me tell Veil and Radiant, I'm sure they'll love to hear about it." Pattern hummed with anxiety on the wall behind them both, but didn't say anything.
"Shallan, do you want to be with me?" Adolin asked. It felt terrifying to actually ask that, but it also felt right.
They pulled their head back as Shallan finally looked up at Adolin, face dry. "Yes. In a vast sea of unknowns, that is something I am sure about." She sighed. "Veil has wandering eyes, however. And Radiant seems largely uninterested."
"We can compromise. Find a way to make all of us happy. It won't be traditional, but... look at my family. We won't be the first to cross boundaries." Shallan gave a muffled laugh, then leaned over and hugged Adolin.
They held her back, and for a time they each simply accepted the comfort the other offered.
Eventually, Adolin broke the comfortable silence. "When Kaladin is in that mindset where he's determined to do... something, anything, isn't it unfair just how gorgeous his eyes are? They're practically smoldering."
"It is highly unfair, downright criminal. Not to mention, how exactly does he think he can get away with being so dramatic all the time? He just... says the most confusing things and then leaves the conversation!"
"It would be infuriating if it didn't work so well for him." Shallan made a noise of agreement, and they continued to commiserate over their shared affection and frustration with the tall Windrunner.
"I think I acquitted myself fairly well," Kari said, lying on her back on someone's bed.
Whose, she had no clue. Everything was in disarray, and to be perfectly honest she was too exhausted to care. Somehow they had found a woman willing to watch Gavinor while she rested, but sleep was refusing to come.
The sound of Renarin playing with that little box he toyed with when his mind was elsewhere filled the room. "Is that a surprise? You've done well in battles before."
True, but that had been when she'd gone by 'Elhokar'. She didn't say that, though. "It was your father who did all the planning, he was simply setting me up for success. Even today, my contributions were negligible." Before Renarin could argue that point, they were both interrupted by the door opening without a knock. Kari sat up, words already on her lips. "Did you find her? I-"
She was stopped from saying anything more as Azure approached the bed, slipped an arm around Kari's back, and leaned in to kiss her.
There was a moment when Kari was too stunned to know exactly how to proceed from there, but then she simply stopped thinking and let her desire guide her.
Azure didn't kiss like Aesudan. The former queen had worked to fulfill Alethi beauty standards her entire life. Her lips had been full, always covered in a gloss that made trying to properly pair with Kari's a struggle, hers would just slide off. Her smooth perfection had no room for Kari to earn a solid footing.
Kari was not entirely sure that Azure had ever worn make-up, let alone any form of lip gloss. They were thin, chapped, but so were Kari's after what they'd gone through to get where they were. She was forceful, demanding, unyielding.
The princess melted into her. Kari found it easy to be the one following; leading had never suited her well.
When Azure finally broke the kiss, both of them were breathing heavily, unable to look anywhere but the other's eyes. Kari realized, numbly, that the other woman's light orange irises were suddenly matched by her hair, which had lightened from black into a vibrant red. There was no room to question it, not in a day with as much insanity as the one they'd both been through.
Unsure what else to do, Kari sat up with her legs hanging off the bed, making room which Azure immediately took, sitting close and holding Kari's freehand.
It was at that moment that Renarin cleared his throat, and Kari realized she was not, in fact, alone in a room with Azure. Face flushing with embarrassment, Kari was about to explain when the door opened and they were suddenly joined by Kari's mother, uncle, and older sister.
What did I do to earn this sort of wrath from the Almighty? No, scratch that, what didn't I do to deserve a fate like this?
Before Kari could fully stand up, she was rocking back as her mother wrapped her in a tight embrace. "You're alive!" Navani ran a hand through Kari's hair, and it took the princess a moment to realize that her mother was crying. "I heard... is Gavinor here too?"
"Y-yes, mother. We saved him." It struck her, suddenly, just how scared her mother had been. In all that had happened since the disaster at Kholinar, Kari had not considered the effect her disappearance would have had on her family. And, she realized numbly, if the question had occurred to her, she would have thought they wouldn't care. "Adolin's safe too, though I don't know where they are."
If anyone took note of the gender neutral pronoun, they didn't say anything. Instead, Kari felt a firm hand on her shoulder as Azure stood next to her. "Princess Kari saved her son. She took a sword through her chest for him, and escorted him here through the Cognitive Realm. She's a credit to the Kholin name." Kari's heart swelled at the words, and if her mother hadn't been restraining her, she would have kissed Azure for saying that, observers be damned.
Navani finally pulled away from Kari, standing by her husband's side to look at Azure. Dalinar's mouth was in a firm line, expression giving no hints as to what exactly he was thinking. "May I ask how you became involved in all of this, Brightness...?"
"It's Highmarshall, actually. Highmarshall Vivenna." Kari started at the given name, and it was only as she looked at the other woman that she realized that, at some point between kissing and standing, her hair had returned to the midnight black it had been before. "I'd taken command of the Wall Guard in Kholinar, though between the capture of the city and the attack on the palace, I may be the only survivor."
They shook hands, and as expected from Dalinar, Kari felt as though she could practically hear how tight the grips involved were. He opened his mouth, but Jasnah spoke over him. "As Queen of Alethkar, please accept my appreciation. While I will do much to study the events that precipitated the loss of Kholinar, all available evidence says that you have been a fair wind to our country, and to my younger sister. I will not forget your service, or your kindness."
"We will certainly have much to discuss," Azure(?) agreed. "Until we do, I ask that you keep word of my appearance and name to a minimum. For now, Princess Kari has endured much, and needs time to recuperate. I will guard her, and be here to assist in anything she may need."
It occurred to Kari that wasn't a question, but a statement. When Jasnah and Navani looked to Kari for her thoughts, she gave a firm nod.
Still, she knew there would be words about this later. One did not tell either of those women what to do, let alone the Blackthorn. But the room emptied until Kari was left with the object of her growing affections. "Vivenna?" she asked, the moment they were alone.
"I decided, if I was throwing in my cards with you, I might as well do it as myself." The gruff woman's voice was hesitant, and before she'd said a word, her hair had turned slightly red again. "So yeah, I'm Vivenna."
Taking long, slow breaths, Kari processed that. "Would you... like to return to the bed for the rest of this conversation? I was running on Stormlight in the battle and might collapse at any moment."
"With pleasure." A rueful smile on her face, Vivenna swept Kari off her feet and carried her to the bed, setting her down without seeming to have broken a sweat before sitting next to her. She opened her mouth to say something more, but with whatever strength she had left, Kari reached up and pulled her down, initiating more lip to lip contact.
This was not the first time Kari had made out with a beautiful woman. Before her marriage to Aesudan, even her rough flirting skills hadn't been able to overcome her title when it came to finding interested parties.
This was, however, her first make-out as herself. The first time that she had breasts to rub against those of the other party, the first time she felt a firm hand feeling her curves through her clothes, the first time a warm heat built up in her the longer they kissed.
At some point, Vivenna stopped, pulling away. Kari was disappointed, she'd wanted more, but the hand suddenly running through her hair made up for what they'd stopped. "We should talk further. Before we do anything more."
"Talk about what?" Kari asked. "Unless I'm misreading some glyphs, we both want this."
"And what is 'this'?" Vivenna countered. "Are we going to spend a night together, then say our goodbyes? Or are we going to be in a relationship?" She spoke firmly, yet even though Vivenna did not sound gentle, Kari could tell she was bringing this up out of genuine concern.
Kari didn't have to think over what it was she wanted. "I'm not... this isn't something I want for one night. It's more than that. Or at least... I'd like it to be."
With surprising softness, Vivenna kissed Kari once on the lips. "I would like that to. But we should still discuss it first. To start with, you're a mother. Gavinor seems like a good kid, but I don't know anything about child rearing. If you're looking to give him a second mom, I don't know if I'm ready for that."
"I don't even know if..." Kari stopped, took a deep breath, then started again. "I don't know much about it either. I'll have help though, from my mother at the very least. You don't need to be a part of that if you don't want to." The idea of it hadn't crossed her mind to begin with.
Vivenna nodded. "Okay then. That's good. But do you remember why I wasn't interested in joining you all to start with? This fight, your war against the Voidbringers, it's not mine. You're a princess, a Knight Radiant. You've seen what my sword can do, can you guarantee that she and I won't get drafted into this conflict?"
It was still hard for Kari to grasp the idea that a war such as this, the True Desolation, could be seen by someone as 'not theirs'. But... It seemed to fit Vivenna. Kari still didn't know where she was from, or what her goals were, but the more time Kari spent with her, the more sure she became that Alethkar had little to do with either. "I can't guarantee anything. I don't... have that kind of power. But I'll do my best to support you, in whatever position you want to take." A big promise, perhaps, but it came easily to her lips.
Something in Vivenna relaxed when she heard that, shoulders untensing. "I trust you. But there's still one last hurdle. The age gap."
Kari frowned. "You can't be that much older than I am. I'm nearly thirty."
For reasons Kari did not yet understand, Vivenna bit out a sharp laugh. "I'm a lot older than I look. And I don't want to take advantage of you. If we're doing this, it's as equals. You're always free to call me out when I take the reins or point out when I've got red on my back." Kari wasn't entirely sure she understood, but she nodded regardless.
"Does this... your age, your hair, that sword. Are you ever going to tell me what that's all about? And the things I saw you do before, with the fabric?" It still made no sense to her. Vivenna has just whispered a word and it was as though the strips became alive, attacking her foes.
"I can't promise you I will." She shook her head. "First, I say I want us to be equals, and now I'm-"
Rather than let her complete the sentence, Kari initiated a kiss again. Vivenna's eyes sparkled with restrained intent when Kari gazed into them. "Everyone has secrets. We'll work it out as we go. But I want this. I want you. So please, let's stop talking."
Vivenna was all too happy to oblige, and their discussion paused for the next few hours. They could figure out the details another time. Kari had decided that she was going to live, and she was going to damn well enjoy it.