CHAPTER THIRTEEN: THE MAGIC OF DRIED LEAVES

The sounds of war filled the Orcish base camps all over Britain. They were on the march at last.

The death of Voldemort had caused the Orcs to halt their attack plans. Yet now, under the leadership of I'thok and Lucius Malfoy, they would march once again.

"To Hogwarts! To Victory or Defeat! Most importantly... TO BATTLE!" I'thok shouted, causing the blood of the Orcs to flow even hotter than it already was. With a great warcry, the armies began to march.

Mounted on two creatures that the Dread Champions rode, I'thok and Malfoy conversed.

"I will be able to raise the Dark Lord very soon; the reason that we're marching is to pacify the men."

Lucius glanced at his companion. "Standard Orcish procedure... of something else?"

I'thok smiled, revealing his yellowed teeth and making his tusks stand out. "Standard Orcish procedure. Especially for the Warlocks... we can't maintain power without giving the commoners what they are raised to want... a fight. Regardless of who controls the various clans, we control the entire Orchish race, be it through direct rule, blackmail, bribary, threats of assassination."

"A most... interesting system. Why not just exterminate them?" Lucius questioned, his Death Eater indoctrination rising to the surface.

I'thok chuckled. "Why, then there would be no entertainment!" He laughed a bit, then darkened. "And if we lacked them, there would be nothing to occupy my allies... nothing to prevent them from taking some... rash actions."

Lucius shuddered. Was that what was in store for them? The defeat of the Light and the Muggles, and then... power struggles? Pureblood verses Pureblood? What was in store fo them, indeed...

Harry and Hermione were the subject of the morning's conversations; the so-called "Innudendo War" was, just as Fred and George's flight the year before, already becoming a Hogwarts legend.

The exagerations were large and varied; some swore Hermione was undressing Harry as they went up the stairs, others insisted that Harry had been carrying her up to the Boy's Dormitory. Yet another version of the story said that Hermione had said "Upstairs. Bed. NOW.", whilst others laid that phrase at Harry's feet... or, as the matter was, his mouth.

So, naturally, when they entered the Great Hall for breakfast, they were greeted with an assortment of cheers, applause, and wolf whistles.

"When I find out who started this..." Hermione trailed off threateningly.

Ron spoke up tenatively. "Uh, Hermione, it started with that piclesop-" "Popsicle, Ron." "-right, thanks Harry- popsicle you were, ah... enjoying yesterday."

"Shut up." Hermione growled, her look very frightening at this point. "I may have started the thing, but I certainly didn't do half of what the rumors say!"

Ron raised his eyebrows, surprised. "If you did even a quarter of what the rumors say..." Harry and Hermione tried hard , but failed, not to blush.

Ron chuckled. "'Upstairs. Bed. Now.' indeed."

Before class, in the DADA classroom, Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Snape were conversing quite sociably; that is to say, there weren't any death threats or hexes being thrown around.

They were discussing days gone by, friends lost, and the sheer amount of time lost.

"I have a question, if you will answer." Snape said. "How exactly did you know where everything was in Hogwarts?"

The three Marauders grinned, echoing their Hogwarts years. "A little piece of parchment known as the Marauder's Map. You tried to take it from Harry in his third year, Snape." Remus said.

"Ah. So that's what he had. Now, exactly why did it insult me?" Snape asked. Sirius answered this time. "It was charmed so that only the proper words could open it; it insults all who fail to use the correct password."

Snape just grunted in response, slightly annoyed. Why couldn't they ever do anything useful? After all, what was the use of a locked map?

Muggle Studies turned out to be -for some- the most horrifying, and -for others- the most hilarious class of the year.

"Today, we will be studying the Muggle use of drugs." The eyes of all the Muggleborn/raised in the room (Harry, Hermione and Gaius) widened.

"Here is a sample of the most popular one, a dried leaf called Marijuana." the professor stated. "Now, class, I ask you to sample- SAMPLE!- it only. Otherwise, you will enter a deluded, crazed state that the Muggles call 'high'." It was too much; Harry and Hermione started laughing, while Gaius only had a little smile on his face.

The wizardborns obediently smoked their little Marijuana cigarettes, when Gaius got an idea. A very sick, twisted, cruel idea. With a simple spell, he magnified the chemicals in the small samples to where they were equivalent to a whole Marijuana cigarette. Then he caused a bit of knockout gas to be inhaled by the professor, who promptly collapsed in his desk.

"What did you do?" Hermione asked, watching his subtle wand movements. "Oh, just teaching kids to "Say no to drugs!". Harry chuckled; Hermione wore a look of horror.

This horror was magnified when Ron walked (ambled, really) over to them. "Heeey, Herm-EYE-oh-NEEE. Whasup?" "Ron," Gaius said gently, "why don't you go and dance with Malfoy?" Ron looked puzzled for a moment; he then brightened, and said "OK!"

Soon, Malfoy and Ron were dancing in a very formal way... which then became perverted to looking quite sick. In most corners, couples were snogging... several sans clothing. Ginny looked annoyed, as did Luna; their boyfriends wouldn't stop dancing! So, they decided to help each other out, and - much to Hermione's distress, Harry's half-nausea/half-entertainment, and Gaius's amazement- started kissing.

"What-did-you-do?" Blaise asked, barely coherent, as she grabbed Gaius by the collar. "Oh, a little lesson for our friends. Here" he said, uttering a small charm "this should clear your head up. Just go sit down for a little while."

Then the door to the classroom opened, and in stepped Cho Chang, followed by Severus Snape. "Professor, can Miss Chang take... her tes... WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE!?!" Snape bellowed, surveying the chaos.

"Well, Professor Snape, they class is simply learning not to do Muggle drugs." Gaius stated simply. Snape, realizing that Gaius was responsible, but that there was no proof... smirked. "Keep up the good work, Mr. Maxwell." And with that, Snape turned and walked down the hall, robes billowing behind him. Cho looked at Gaius and smiled. "You certainly throw a wild party." Then she, too, was gone. All non-drugged members of the class (by this time, Blaise was included in this number) simply wore looks of shock on their faces at Cho's statement.