Thank you all for your reviews, glad you're enjoying the story. I'm having a blast writing it. However, to those of you who want Paris to come soon, sorry but it's not going to happen. I want to very clearly outline her life before Paris, give her a lot of depth, so to speak. Besides that, I'm going to have this fic correspond with my Hector/Andromache fics, and I need to have certain parts written in that fic (the one that deals with the events of Troy) before I can put them in this one. SO, won't be happening for awhile, just to give you a heads up. But her character will have a lot of depth by that point, if that's any consolation. On another note, I strongly suggest reading my H/A fics, especially the one I'm currently working on (An Invincible Haven). It's not necessary, but because I'm writing them at the same time there are some small compare/contrast things in there, mainly about the way their marriage is. Nothing major, but I just wondered if anyone would be able to pick them out. A hint: they're small little things, nothing big or important. Anyways, enjoy!
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I only vaguely remembered the palace from when I'd lived there before, and my new room was in a section I'd rarely been in. Menelaus gave me a room just off the feast room, up a narrow set of stairs. Later I found out it was because he didn't want anyone "accidentally" finding their way in there. I had no grand bedroom, no grand view. The flight of stairs resembled servants quarters, which I suppose was exactly what he wanted. But I didn't mind. I did not want any grand rooms or peering eyes. I was content to be alone, for often he would forget about me. My room was simple, a desk, bed, and fire pit were all that adorned it. Polydora said its plainness was a stark contrast to its occupant, but I liked it that way. Menelaus would never disturb me there, whenever he wanted me he would send for me or come get me himself. His bedroom was very grand, with fine tapestries and a balcony with an excellent view. I thought it very ugly.
My memories of my first year of marriage are very few. Or even any memories of my marriage at all. You see, good memories have a way of replacing bad memories, so now few remain. There are some, however, that will most likely remain with me until the day I die.
I remember the loss of innocence for each of my handmaidens. I had twelve in all, all of them were given to me when I came to Sparta except Polydora. She was a small spark of familiarity in a strange, new world. I confided in her and we shared a history together that I did not have with the other handmaidens. She'd been with me ever since I could remember and we would laugh about our girlhood together. The Spartan girls caught my husband's eye first. They were trained in dancing and would perform for company whenever he wished it. Polydora quickly learned the routine- it was made clear that she was no different from any of my other handmaidens- and was easily the best dancer of them all. Oddly enough, she was the last of my handmaidens to lose her innocence to my husband. I hated all the other girls, they were jealous and petty and would always fight amongst themselves. They were probably jealous of their position with my husband, since he'd often discard one of them for another. He would keep one of them for a week or two, then move on to another. Polydora's turn came just a few months after we were married.
It was after a feast- Polydora had led the dancers out as usual, though I'd left the feast by that time- and for the first time my husband saw her. It had been our tradition to gossip about the different guests at night after the different parties but she did not return that night. She was the only handmaiden I allowed in my room. The others I made keep to their own rooms, but Polydora was allowed to come and keep me company. I finally went to bed, knowing exactly where she was.
The following morning she came in to dress me and fix my hair, and she was quiet and sober.
"I know where you were," I said softly, watching her finally raise her eyes to meet mine.
She spoke no answer, but I did not respect her to.
"If you can believe me, it makes no difference. The more nights he is with you the less I have to put up with him."
"My lady," she began, but I cut her off.
"I never expected his fidelity nor did I care for it. I only pity you, for what you now have to put up with. Do not think I am angry, for I truly am not."
She looked at me curiously. "I have seen many jealous wives, I felt sure you would be the same."
I smiled sadly. "A woman can only be jealous of her husband's mistresses if her heart has been engaged. Mine never was."
She only nodded and withdrew, sensing my desire to be alone. I knew she would not repel his advances, though it would make little difference. My husband would take what he wanted. But to be the mistress of the king was a desired position. Polydora, who'd known only a servant's wages, was suddenly elevated. Robes and jewelry were hers for the first time in her life. Others looked on her with respect, at least in the servant's world. Years proved her to be his favorite, he called for her more than any other woman… including myself. But it did not matter.
My heart was not engaged.