Holiday Bananza Series
Part 2:
No more turkey!!
By: Vana Telcontar
Disclaimer: Don't own SGA, or Thanksgiving, or the McWeir pairing, though I do hold the title deed to the actual word "McWeir". I came up with it, oh yes I did. Mm hmm, mm hmm, mm hmmmmm!!! Lol Did you know Pilgrims didn't actually eat turkey on the first Thanksgiving? Huh? What's up with that?!
Rating: PG
Warnings: McWeir-yness ahead!!
Pairings: McWeir, Sheyla
I wasn't going to do a Thanksgiving fic but the challenege on my McWeir site was too good to pass up!! Lol I haven't done a challenge yet with definite things that it must include- only a general challenege- but they were so funny my SGA muses insisted upon it. Heehee! So here it is; my shot at the Thanksgiving Challenge from WeirMcKayship! Enjoy!
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"Ah! Get it!"
"I'm trying here! Gah! Grab it!"
"You do it if you think you're so good!"
It had all started with the innoculous little suggestion that they show the Athosians what Thanksgiving was like. Ah, those damn ideas. After explaining the customs to Teyla, she had offered to provide the "turkey"-like bird. Unfortunately, it had come to them live and gotten loose. For the better part of an hour Rodney and John had been trying to catch it, with no success.
"This was all your stupid idea," Rodney complained as he and John held back to plan their next wave of attack.
"Shut up, McKay, and let's just catch the stupid bird."
Ford walked up. "What are you guys up to?"
"Trying to catch a turkey at the moment," John said, gazing at the bird as it calmly paused to peck at the hard, smooth floor. "Teyla gave it to us live."
"Oh." Ford settled into hunting mode as well and Rodney rolled his eyes.
"This is ridiculous. I'm a scientist, not a stupid farmer. Have fun chasing your turkey, gentlemen. I'm gone." And he confidently walked off towards his lab.
Unfortunately, it led past the turkey and as he went past, it paniced. Flapping madly, it jumped into the air, attempting flight.
"Quick!" John exclaimed, rushing forward with Ford following.
Rodney stumbled backwards to get out of the rush as John and Ford tried to grab it. Somehow, however, the bird really could fly partially well and managed to make it over both of their heads. Rodney yelped as it dropped from the air just above him and into his arms. There it stayed, shaking uncontrollably in fear and cuddling close to him for protection. Rodney stared at it in bewilderment as John and Ford also stopped to look.
"Well, McKay," John said with a smile, "It looks as if you have a new friend."
Rodney scowled, but John was indeed correct. The bird seemed to feel Rodney was safe and was sticking close by him.
"He can't like me; he's dinner."
"Well Doc, it looks as if we'll have to find another.. er, turkey," Ford replied, grinning.
Rodney glared. "What the hell am I supposed to do with this?" He jostled the bird slightly and it squawked as it was ruffled, actually casting a disgruntled-seeming glare at Rodney as it settled back down. Rodney just glared back as John and Ford held back laughter.
"Put it on a leash and make it a pet?" Ford suggested.
"We need to go let Dr. Weir and Teyla know we need another turkey in case the others aren't enough. See you, McKay," John said, waving as he and Ford walked off.
"But- but- wait!" Rodney protested, but neither stopped. He looked at the bird in his arms as it closed both eyes and- to all appearances- went to sleep.
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Hours later, John had managed to requisition another turkey from Teyla and Rodney's new pet was safely secured in a small room with food and bedding. The feast was a marvelous looking thing and the few who arrived early could hardly keep their hands off of it.
At one of the tables, Liz was already seated, watching the last minute changes with amusement. She had done her part, let the cooks and what-not worry if they weren't done yet.
Soon enough the members of Atlantis filed in- Athosians included- and began taking seats, filling the hall with their annoyingly loud chatter. Liz merely smiled benignly as Rodney, John and others came to sit with her.
"Elizabeth," Rodney greeted.
"Dr. Weir," John acknowledged, nodding as he sat. "Nice affair we have going on here."
"Rodney, John, good to see you. And yes, it is," she agreed, looking around. "It proves to be interesting. Just a little longer to let people get set in and we can start."
Waiting, Liz finally stood and clinked her fork against her glass. "Excuse me! Excuse me, everyone!" She called, gaining attention slowly. "Excuse me!" She smiled as all fell silent. "Hello and welcome to Atlantis's first ever Thanksgiving feast!" Clapping ensued and Liz grinned. "I hope you all have a wonderful time and enjoy the food, company and liquor provided for the occasion. As you can tell, it all looks scrumptious! So, without any further delay, I wish you all a very happy Turkey Day and tuck in!"
People clapped as she sat, then they all dug in greedily, chatter quickly raising again to painful levels as everyone began to talk and laugh over the delicious food. Rodney sighed in disgust as he took some mashed potatoes.
"I still don't know why we're doing this."
John threw a carrot and hit Rodney in the forehead. "Loosen up McKay, it's a holiday!"
Rodney glared and threw it back at him. "Shut up, Sheppard."
Unfortunately, John dodged out of the way and the carrot hit Sargeant Bates- who was sitting at the table behind John- in the back of the head. The Sargeant slowly turned around and Rodney hissed his breath in, looking a little guilty. Uh oh.
"Who threw that? You?" He asked, standing, eyebrows raised.
"Okay, Srg. Bates, calm down. It wasn't his fault," John said soothingly, standing as well.
"You taking responsibility, sir?" He asked. "Here's what I think of that." He picked up a spoonful of mashed potatoes and flung it at John, hitting him in the chest.
"Oh, really classy, Sargeant," John said, brushing it off. "But here. You can't have Thanksgiving without cranberry sauce!" He threw it but Bates ducked and it hit a nurse instead.
"FOOD FIGHT!" A brunette soldier yelled from across the room. Rodney watched Carson yank her back into her seat, obviously friends with her, but it was too late. Everyone had already joined in the fun and Carson was having a hard time protecting himself from flying objects.
"This is nah tha way t' treat what food we have!" His voice rang out, but was drowned out by the laughing and shouts of everyone else. The Athosians had initially looked confused, but now they had joined in the fighting as well.
Liz ducking a flying piece of broccoli, and quickly ducked behind the table. She would be clean when this was over and take charge of these... children, or they would know why.
She lifted the table cloth and slid underneath it, letting the darkness envelop the underside of the table again, the inch between the bottom of the cloth and the floor the only thing providing any light, though the tablecloth was thin enough that light actually filtered through and made it seem to glow. It was enough for her to be able to see and she noticed a familiar figure also huddled under the table, peeking out at the fight.
"Rodney?" The man looked over at her voice and blinked. "You're staying under here?"
"Of course. I'm not going out there and getting pelted by food. What do you think I am? Stupid?"
Liz smiled in amusement. "You started it."
"No, actually, Major Sheppard did. He threw it first and he was the one who moved so it wouldn't hit him."
"You could have exhibited some maturity and self-control and not thrown it back though," Liz pointed out, but her eyes were laughing and there was a smile tugging at her lips. Rodney glanced over from where he was peeking out at the fight and raised an eyebrow while giving her a slightly annoyed look.
"Can I help it if he always challenges me? He asked for it."
Liz gave him a look that said "don't push it" and glanced at the tablecloth. "How are things looking?"
"Not good," Rodney replied, peeking out again. "No one seems to have even considered stopping." Liz sighed and shook her head.
"And we're stuck under here until they stop, no way of getting somewhere where we could issue our authority."
A near-by loud scream signalled someone getting mashed potatoes down their back from the mess it made on the floor, and both doctors, jumped back from it.
"Well this really sucks," Rodney said in an irritated voice. Liz blinked, then smiled slightly before moving for the opposite table cloth. "Hey, where are you going?"
"To see if I can safely put a stop to this," she replied, starting to lift the table cloth when a "turkey" leg suddenly came flying under the table, making her fall back into Rodney's arms with a small shriek.
They both blinked at the piece of food. "Maybe I'll stay here," Liz amended.
"Good idea," Rodney agreed, then they looked at each other and Liz found it hard to breathe. The heat of his hands was burning through her sleeves and she thought that if something didn't happen soon she would explode.
Rodney blinked, searching her eyes, then let her go quickly, blushing slightly. "Wait for it to calm down a little before we attempt that again."
"Right," she said under her breath as she sat up, looking down at the floor, then at the table cloth again and clearing her throat. This was going to be a long few minutes....
After what seemed like ages, the noises outside Rodney and Elizabeth's little hideaway died away a bit to let the laughter break through the screams. Taking this as a good sign, the two carefully peeked out and saw that some people had had enough and were leaving, laughing and covered in food or looking rather pissed off about being clothed in mashed potatoes.
"Oh come on Beckett, take a joke!" A feminine voice called as the Scottish doctor stormed from the room, trailed by the same girl from earlier, both of them wearing their food. "Carson!"
Liz and Rodney traded looks, then carefully extricated themselves from the darkness under the table. Liz looked around at the laughing, yelling people, then took a deep breath before she could be hit with food from the much of it still flying about.
"EVERYBODY FREEZE!" She screamed and Rodney clamped his hands over his ears. Damn that woman could project her voice.
The people in the hall froze, turning to look at the completely clean and rather angry looking Dr. Weir, an equally clean Dr. McKay standing next to her, looking haughty as he dropped his hands and stood straight.
"You should all be ashamed of yourselves, acting like children!" She scolded into the silence. "This was meant to be a good time without decorating the room with food! I'm particularly ashamed of those of the Atlanteans with rank! You should have put a stop to it, instead of encouraging!"
"But it was fun," John muttered sullenly, and Liz shot him a glare, opening her mouth to say something.
Suddenly a squwak was heard and everyone turned to see Rodney's pet turkey run into the room, apparently having accidentally been released by someone. It ran in circles, squwaking and flapping its wings, feathers raining down as it did so.
They all watched as it finally ran over to Rodney's side and there began to calmly peck at the food on the ground near him as if it hadn't just been crazy a moment before.
"Great," Rodney said to Liz, eyes on the turkey. "Now I have a pet turkey who's also bipolar. Whoop-dee-do." Liz grinned.
"We will find a home for him on the mainland where he will not be harmed, Dr. McKay," Teyla promised, smiling.
Rodney smiled in relief. "Thank you, Teyla."
"All right everyone. Get to work cleaning; the more hands, the faster it goes," she ordered, hands on her hips and eyes piercing the grumbling and dirty crowds. "When I'm satisfied with the job you can go."
With much grumbling and heavy sighs, the Atlantians got to cleaning as the Athosians filed out to go get cleaned up, the children especially chattering about how fun it all had been.
"That's it," Liz sighed. "No more turkey."
As Teyla carried off the last live turkey on base, Rodney couldn't agree with her more.
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A/N: Here are the challenege perameters:
Thanksgiving Challenge
Everyone gathers together for Thanksgiving but things get out of hand.
Must include:
A turkey like creature being chased around the base or on the mainland (your choice where)
The turkey like creature making friends with Rodney
A food fight started by a tossed carrot
Rodney and Elizabeth hiding under a table during food fight
Can include:
Drawing of a turkey
Sharing of chocolate
You can any type of Thanksgiving tridition you can think or make up as well. If you make any up make them interesting.
So how did I do?? -Grin- Happy Turkey Day everyone! Hope you have a pleasant holiday!
- V.
Post A/N: I KNOW! Don't say it! This is majorly late but it isn't my fault! I'm a natural procrastinator! I had it done and then just... forgot to put it up. Lol I hardly began my Christmas one, so I may just skip that and go straight on to Easter....
Happy New Year!