Whether I noticed it while they were happening or not, the days were flying by. I don't know how long it has been since that night Beast Boy first appeared, but I knew it was well over a month by now. The month had passed with a few events each day, my working and him staying home, and us going places together. We probably looked weird together, a purple haired pale girl standing next to a green boy, but that was irrelevant. I knew he wasn't going to stay long, or he would have been looking for a place or a job, I knew one day he'd leave. Just vanish. As the days passed, however, I knew it would take forever to let him go. I didn't know whether having him here was a burden or a holy gift from the Gods, but I knew that the more he stayed the harder it would be to let him go.
It wasn't raining tonight. The sun was gone, the moon risen, and the stars were out once more. I reveled in the way they sparkled, they always looked happy when you were happy, and when you were sad it was as if they were Angel's tears frozen in the heavens. I was a mild of both sad and happy as I was once again able to be found upon the balcony. My eyes swept over the sea of stars, and then the sea of buildings and people. Beast Boy appeared at the balcony door just then, and gave a slight knock.
"Raven?" He inquired softly, and I turned around indicating I heard him, "I think it's time."
It wasn't really a full sentence, and I knew it would make little to no sense to anyone else. But I understood immediately, he meant to leave now. I wanted to play the dumb card, the card that allowed time to freeze so you could stall the impending doom. But I couldn't stop this, and I couldn't stall it, I had to just…. Be ok with it.
"Are you sure?" I asked in a steady voice, trying to hold back anything and everything. No emotion would be shown, no emotion should be shown.
"Yes, it's been awhile," He laughed a bit here, and a smile formed on my face quickly disappearing. No emotion, "I need to find her, Raven, you don't understand."
He came beside me and sat down, looking up at the stars like I had been. I knew my emotion now.
"She liked me, I know it, I just know it. But I need to find her, I need to tell her I love her, I need her to know that I feel these… THESE THINGS FOR HER!" He thrusted his hands up in the air in a quick motion, and then pulled them down and looked at me. A big smile was on his face.
"Raven, I'll come back again, I promise. Maybe I won't wait so long, or perhaps I'll find her quickly. It's been great seeing you again, but I need to find her. You understand, right?" He looked at me with a sincere look, his smile gone now. I nodded, and he hugged me tight. I made no move to hug him back but I did give a weak smile.
"Thank you, Raven, my friend," Beast boy said, patting my shoulder lightly after the hug. That was it, this is our good bye. Should I tell him that I love him? Does he want me to follow him as he is Terra? I couldn't. I just couldn't/
"Thank you, also, Beast Boy. I hope to see you again," I gave him a hug this time, and I knew both of us were at least some what surprised. Beast Boy stood up then, transformed into a lovely bird which came to my shoulder. It pecked lightly at my cheek, and then flew off. I watched him till he disappeared, and then my eyes drifted back to the stars.
They were Angel's tears, now.
--(Gasp)—
Two weeks. Just two weeks, and I couldn't manage at all. I missed him, I missed him so much. I got a letter last Friday from Robin and Starfire, they were getting married. And it seems Cyborg had found his own match, though the name remained anonymous. I was invited to attend the wedding, but I had declined. I sent them a gift, my love, and my good bye. It took me two weeks to realize I had to go after Beast Boy. If he was willing to do so for Terra to prove his love, then I was more then willing to do so for Beast Boy.
I walked into the living room, after packing a light bag, and sat down on the untouched couch. I hadn't sat in it since he left, and I don't really know why. But when I sat there, I realized. It's like, when you're with a friend and you do something, that something becomes a memory instantly. Then, when you do it again, it saddens you because you remember your friend. As I sat there on that couch, staring at the blank screen of the t.v., I heard his laughter. I felt the milk he spilt from his bowl of cereal poor down from the couch onto me, a quick apology as he raced up to get a towel but fell off the couch instead. I saw it all, in a hazy way, though.
I was sitting in the middle, one hand on where I used to sit, and one where Beast Boy used to sit. Something was poking lightly from out of the couch, and I grabbed hold and pulled it out. A sheet of paper with scribbled lines that looked somewhat like words was now in my hands.
Dear Raven,
I'm sorry, Raven, for leaving you. I hope beyond hope you read this only after I left, for I don't want you to hold me back. With tears I write this, and through pain as well. I don't know what you feel, and I don't really know what I feel, but I think I'm in love with you. I don't know, I think I love Terra more… but I think I'm in love with you.
I have to find Terra, though, because I know she loves me. I returned in hopes of finding a renewed friendship and love, but all I got was the friendship. I'll survive, though, and the compassion you have showed me may help keep my spirits up.
I hope to see you again, without these silly puppy love feelings for you.
Your Friend, and Love,
Beast Boy
(Thank you, Reviewers, this is for you.)