Author's Note:

I was just re-reading ALl My Life because I got some reviews I'm not vain, i just neededto see what they were talkingabout, I swear. And JOshua has a fan, wooootand discovered that I'm a total psychic. In an author's note from JUNE I predicted a Red Sox Nation celebration come October. ANd that there would be some serious bling bling involved. Yay for the Red Sox, they've given me all that I need for Christmas...they did that on October 27, 2004 by beating the Yankees.

Anyways, I wanna finish this up and start totally anew. I have my short one going up on Sunday. and once everything is done you'll see some newer things. I know I've been saying this, but I need encouragement to finish this otherwise I'll never get around to it. You know how to encourage me.

"I need to talk to you before you go back to Genovia," Lilly said that night before Michael and I left her apartment.

I saw Michael off to the side talking to Nolan about the upcoming tour in a corner. "What?"

"Not now," she hissed.

"Well I'm leaving on Friday," I replied.

She looked around and then pulled me into her bedroom. "Do you think it is too soon for us to have a baby?"

I sat on her bed and put a pillow on my lap, "Lilly this is rather sudden. I don't know if I am ready to have one with you," I joked.

"No, me and Tony," she said in all seriousness.

I shrugged. "If you guys are ready then no. I mean, it's a good idea."

"Good, because I am pregnant."

I probably should have been prepared for this, but I wasn't. I mean, I am clearly the Queen of Obliviousness. "Um, wow. Congratulations," I said embracing her. "What does Tony think?"

She made a face.

"You haven't told him have you?"

She shook her head. "He's under sooo much pressure with the band and the album and the tour. I don't want him to stress about this-"

"Uh, Lilly, you are his wife. He is supposed to worry about you. You are supposed to be the number one priority."

"I just don't want him to become a story on the E True Hollywood story of Bueller. And then see the guy who replaced him because Tony had to stick around here-"

"Let him decide," I replied. "And he can have it all. You can have it all."

"We aren't like you and Michael," she replied. "I just can't go fly out to see him anytime I want to like you can. I don't have the Royal jet at my disposal."

She wasworried. She didn't want me to talk about her having a baby so she was pushing her confusion and anger with the situation onto me. I looked down at my lap. Soon I wouldn't have that. I would just have Michael, and I was happy with that. "Lilly, there's a lot of things you'll never understand about Michael and I."

"But I will once I read the great Lucie Priestess's biography of you. It's coming out on Tuesday."

I nodded. It was finally happening. I had given up on the book months ago considering Lucie never told me it was finally done. Next up was the theatrical movie that was going to be filming in the spring. "I can't wait to see what she says about him."

"Mia, how the hell am I going to tell Tony?" she said dramatically, changing the subject.

"How about… 'Hey Tony remember that crazy night we went at it? Ya, that one time, well I got knocked up. You have some damn good swimmers.'?"

She laughed, "Yeah, I'm sure he'd appreciate that."

A knock came to the door. "Mia, it's starting to snow. Wanna get going?" Michael asked.

I nodded and squeezed Lilly's hand. "Sure babe."

Michael and I spent the night looking at my songs and he tried to write the music for them. "I am truly clueless when it comes to musical notes," I said looking over his shoulder.

"I know," he said erasing a mark that I had put down. "But it's cute that you're trying. Are you ready for bed? We have to be at my parents place at one-"

"Whoa, what? I'm going to my mother's. Aren't you?"

"I thought you said I was making the Thanksgiving plans?"

"I thought you understood that I came home to see my family."

He kept trying to say words. "I-" he started, cutting himself off. "Maybe we could do half and half?"

I shook my head. "No. I hardly ever see my family."

"And I hardly ever see mine."

"You live in the same city, I'm in a different time zone," I argued.

"Mia, you go to your mothers and I'll go to my parents. We can have dessert here or something," he said suddenly.

Damn. He was good at making plans like that. I sighed, "Okay. I'll go make something for us-"

"No, let's do that in the morning. Let's go to bed."

"You can go ahead. I have a lot on my mind…"

That wasn't a lie. I know I had told him that I was going to abdicate. I know I had made this decision and put a lot of thought into this, but there was a little piece of me that was telling me my plans were wrong. That I would be disappointing my father.

But then another part of me was reminding me that I had to live my own life and let my father live his. I wanted to be with Michael and to let him follow his dreams . And by allowing him to follow his dreams I would be able to go along with him and write. What I would write would be decided later.

My father was sick with cancer and I was worrying about what I would write about.

I was up really late because Michael walked into the kitchen at three in the morning to get a glass of water. "What are you still doing up baby?" he asked, rubbing the top of my head.

I shrugged. "Just thinking about the next month or so."

"Everything is planned," he replied, sitting at the stool next to me. "So you can go to Genovia and finally tell your father your plans, I can rehearse and tour. Then we'll spend Christmas with your mother-"

"And Hannukah with your parents," I replied. Although he had converted he was still going to celebrate the holiday's with his family.

"Right. Then we'll shock the world with a gorgeous New York wedding. And then I'll take you on our honeymoon," he said kissing me.

"Where are you taking me?"

He offered a half smile, "Wouldn't you like to know."

"Yes that is why I am asking you," I replied.

He shook his head. "It's a surprise. Come on, let's go back to bed."

"Mom, can I talk to you?" I asked while we cleaned the dishes after Thanksgiving dinner.

"Of course. Make sure you scrub that cranberry sauce off the plate."

"I know. But in private?" I asked, looking into the living room where Frank and Rocky were playing foozeball.

She glanced at the men of the family. "Sure," she said, pulling off her rubber gloves. She pulled me into her room. "What's up? You aren't pregnant, are you?" she asked with wide eyes. I could see she was hopeful.

"No…not for a long time, Mom. No, it's about Dad-"

"His cancer? He talked to me about it. He was afraid you were going to take it hard. You seem to be doing okay. How are you?"

I shook my head, "I'm fine about that…well, fine enough as I should be. But it's about his plans."

"Plans?"

"To abdicate."

She looked surprised. "He's abdicating?"

"Yes."

"Which means you will have to…"

"I'll have to take over. But Mom…"

"Yes honey?" she asked, rubbing my back.

I played with my rings on one hand and with the necklace that Joshua left for me. "I don't want to be the princess anymore."

Silence followed that statement.

"Mom?"

"Honey, I'm just thinking."

"Good or bad?" I asked softly.

"A little of both," she replied, standing up. She started pacing. "Does Michael know about your plans?"
"Yes. He told me to do whatever would make me happy."

"Did he tell you to consider the future of Genovia?"

I shrugged. "Mom, I did that on my own. Believe it or not, I can do things without a man's help. You taught me that for crying out loud!"
She nodded. "Right….right…so you thought about them?"

"Of course I did! I calculated who would be the crown prince if I did not accept the position. First Sebastian would be in line, but I am assuming he would choose to step down as well..you know, 'cuz of his business. Then Rene would take the position. And he would do wonderfully."

"Mia, do you realize that this will be some embarrassment for your father?"
I nodded slowly. The family was one of the smaller royal families in the world and was only brought into the limelight when I was introduced. Everyone in the world loved a young princess. They had lost Princess Diana and the press had dubbed me as the new Princess of the People. "Mom, I understand those consequences, but I need to consider things for myself as well. I've been miserable."

"No you haven't. I didn't hear you complain once in all these years."
"Mom, you heard me everyday for almost four years complaining about being a princess. Then I was over in Genovia and didn't talk to you that much. When exactly would you have heard me complain? When I was relishing in the fact that I got to see my 'regular' family? I never wanted to bother you with those problems."

She sighed and sat at her vanity. "Mia, I can't tell you what to do. You are a grown woman. I think you've made your decision already. I'll support you no matter what."

Great. Some help she was.