Greetings: Hello everyone! I'm so happy to share this new story that I've had been working for months now but haven't got the time to post. I've read so many stories where Clary died but none where he did. So here it comes.

I hope you all love this!

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Obviously, I'm not Cassandra Clare. If I was, wouldn't I be writing The Chain Of Thorns or Wicked Powers instead of writing some fanfic?

"One word

Frees us of all the weight and pain of life:

That word is love."

― Sophocles.

Chapter - 1 : All the Weight and Pain.

"You should move on, Clary."

That was what she doesn't wanted to hear.

It was not some stupid crush or any silly relationship or a piece of book her mother was telling her to move on from. It was her life. It was her bloody life she would have had if he had been with her now. Usually she would never talk to anybody about it; it was her love, her life, her him. But when somebody came anywhere near telling her to move on, she would simply snap and leave.

That was what she did that day morning; the only difference is that she decided to move on.

After that little encounter with her mother, Clary returned to her room at Luke's house, at least it was Luke's until her mother, Jocelyn, married him and it became their 'home' now. Though she would've preferred to live in the Institute with the Lightwoods-after all, she's a Shadowhunter! But her mother insisted on her living with them until- oh, she doesn't know, probably forever, knowing that her mother doesn't want her to be a Shadowhunter in the first place. And Clary was too tired to argue with her mother after everything.

"Clary,"

She didn't turn to the sound of her name calling. She sat still and felt Luke sit beside her, "Are you okay?"

She wanted to laugh at that, everytime someone asked that she would just reply with a 'fine'. It's not as if she'll ever be alright; she can never be alright, not without him. But all that came from her lips was a choke and a sob, and she didn't realise she'd been crying until then.

"It's alright, Clary, it'll be alright."

She couldn't help it anymore, memories of past year came flooding through her mind; like a giant tsunami wave rising up from the deepest valley of ocean and filling everything with water and sand, leaving behind nothing but the bitter memory of it's impact.

"I-I'm s-sorry, Luke, I shouldn't have left like that.''

He was silent for a moment and then he started: "Do you remember the time when you lost your first doll at three and cried for it for days and didn't accept the other dolls like that saying you loved it and couldn't replace it?" he asked.

She just sat there, getting comfort in his embrace, vaguely remembering that and not having the ability to talk.

"You were pretty stubborn for a three year old, and you haven't changed a bit, the stubbornness has only increased since,'' he smiled to himself as if remembering something precious. "Well, you do remember we found it afterwards, don't you? And you're jumping around hugging it after months. I'm not saying you'll get what you had with him again, but I'm sure Jace would've wanted you to be happy and that kid would throw a fit in Heaven if you moved on from him."

She tried to smile despite her angst. Of course he would!

He smiled through his glasses and placed a kiss on top of her head. Clary watched him go. So much had changed now. But Luke has changed only little hence. She remembered the look on Luke when he saw his sister, Amatis Graymark fall on that damned day on Edom, along with all the Endarkened, he had just gotten her back then, after eighteen years, only to lose her again to evilness. But before her thoughts could go further, she snapped out of her reverie when her phone rang and took a call from Simon.

"Hey, are you coming to train?"

"Yeah, but I want you to come here now,'' she replied.

And that was how she found herself, with her duffle bag, and her best friend, inside the elevator of the Institute.

"How did you get your mom to agree with this anyway?" Simon asked after they stepped out of the creaking elevator.

"I told her this is me moving on.''

Simon nodded, he always doesn't press her on the issues she doesn't wanted to talk about. And that's one of the favourite thing she loves about him. When she retorted her mother with her own words she didn't say anything, instead, she came to her and kissed her temple and nodded but Clary didn't miss the wetness in the kiss. Seeing Simon now, she saw that unlike Luke, Simon has grown so much these years. After losing his immortality and memories, Simon again began to wear glasses and after he gained his memories back, he went to Idris which was home to every Shadowhunter to train in the Shadowhunter Academy. Of course, Clary also went there, briefly, before Alec started helping her to train, and they became parabatai. And Clary knew he could feel her pain but Clary had always been grateful because she could feel his happiness, and that was the only times she had ever been happy.

"Clary!'', It was Isabelle Lightwood, Clary's best friend, and Simon's girlfriend walking towards them in her casual shirts and pants, which was so very usual of Isabelle but unusual to everyone at first, but now they all realised it's Izzy's way of being a girlfriend to her boyfriend (although, most of the times it was Simon wearing fashionable clothes), "I'm so glad your mother finally let you live with us, thought she's never going to leave you," She said as she hugged her.

"And the boyfriend gets ignored, perfect.'' Simon mused but his lips were tilted.

"Jealous," Izzy smirked and pulled him into a kiss.

Clary smiled, she felt so happy for her friends, after everything they endured, they deserved happiness and Clary was glad they found happiness in each other again.

''Eww...get a room" she smiled at the pair, before they could do something she doesn't want to see.

Izzy smiled and Simon blushed, and Clary moved towards her room with her duffle bag.

"Where are you going?" Izzy asked.

"To my room?"

"But that's the other way, I've cleaned it there and-''

"I'm staying in his room, Iz,'' Clary interrupted.

"Oh"

"You know it'll be more familiar and all." She explained.

"I understand, Clary."

Clary pressed her lips together. Clary knew it had been hard for the Lightwoods as much as it was hard for her, and they've been through more and enough. But Izzy had been terrible in the first few weeks, she'd already felt lost after Max, and then her parent's parting, and they all fought hard not to loose him or anyone during the Dark war, but he had gone and Izzy took the hit more; losing two brothers and then she had lost Simon too, and it was horrible to see her: strong and brilliant and beautiful Isabelle to be shattered. But now, she was doing so much better with Simon in her side.

"Oh, didn't you say someone from Alicante is coming?" Simon asked her suddenly.

"Yeah, but he's not coming until tomorrow.''

"He?" Clary questioned, for all she knew, she had never heard of anyone coming to stay in the Institute, unless it's any kind of Clave mission or some emergency.

"Yeah, I don't know who he is though. Mom doesn't say anything other than he is around Alec's age in the message. She'll be here tomorrow by now.''

She nodded, her mind not comprehending anything and moved towards the end of the hall. Clary's hands shook as she placed her fingers on the door nob of his room. She took a breath and pushed the door and was startled to find that it was still how she had last seen it: just the plain room as it has always been, and it was as if he still - no, as if someone came there everyday to make it look like it was still filled with life.

She placed her clothes down and moved towards the closet but stopped abruptly when she saw a box but she didn't move towards it. Instead, she sat on the bed and took out her sketchbook and skimmed through the pages, the drawings she had done in the past year. Turning on the first page, she saw him, it was her first drawing of him: with wings bursting open from his back, she remembered the first time she'd saw him, in a nightclub, hunting down a demon, she hadn't known anything about the Shadow world then, but she remembered how he looked like a lion : with all gold and a look of pride and confidence in his features. She turned the pages and traced the lines of the figure she found so hard to draw when he was there, with her. But she still wasn't able to capture his perfect face, and she doesn't want to not to see him anymore, so she'd drawn him, nights and days, staring at the empty paper and then pouring her thoughts out in it, her sketchbook only contains his drawings now; him, with his golden locks and bright amber eyes; him and her in the greenhouse the first time they kissed on her fifteenth birthday; him and Alec as they fought together; him with that Scepter in the halls of Edom, an avenging angel bringing light upon darkness. She smiled as she came to the one art of him with his damnable smirk, everytime she tried she could never understand how she had gotten his expressions so real, it was as if he came right right under her hands.

God, she miss him so much.

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