"Told me what?" I asked.
"It was a false alarm. There is no cancer. He will not be abdicating."
I looked at him as if I would get a clear answer in his eyes. "What? I saw him…I had dinner with him for the past two nights. He has not said a thing…"I said thoughtfully. "Why do you think that?"
"Maybe he is waiting for the right time?"
This would be the right time. I stormed into his office only to find him and Callie sitting on either side of the desk, discussing something important. "Dad, I need to talk to you alone."
"Mia,Ca-"
"That's great but I need to talk to you right now."
"We are discussing our future," she replied.
"Funny, I am going to discuss the very same thing with Dad."
She looked at my father for support.
"Mia, might we discuss this later?"
"No. You said that before. I shouldn't have to schedule an appointment with your secretary. Cammie, out."
She looked at my father who nodded toward his private room.
"Mia, you are being very rude to Cal-"
"When were you going to tell me that the cancer was a false alarm?" I cut in, staring out the window into the acres of land that was my backyard.
He sighed heavily, "I didn't think it was all that important. Now you have that fiancé and what not your father means so lit-"
"Don't try a guilt trip on me. Grandmere was the master of that and I'm sick of falling for it. Try the truth."
He shrugged. "There are rumors."
"Don't answer my question like that."
"You are planning on abdicating?"
I stared hard at him. The stare that I learned from him. "I am asking about your cancer."
"And I'm talking about the future of our country."
"I happen to find my family more important."
"I find the lives of twenty thousand people more important."
I sighed heavily."You are supposed to be my father. Why didn't you tell me about the cancer?"
He stared at his hands. "Because I'm terrified of a false negative. What if I really do have it and the tests are flukes? Why didn't you tell me about abdicating?"
"Because I tried to over a month ago and you blew me off."
"I did-"
"Yes you did. You were playing tennis with the Prime Minister of something. Dad, I can't be a princess, a worthy one, if my heart isn't in it."
He shook his head. "Then you are not my daughter." With that he walked out of the room.
I sat in his chair in shock. I hadn't expected him to react like that. My old father would have hugged me and told me that he'd take care of everything. But my father was different now. Ever since Cammie came along. Ever since I decided to live my own life and ignore the rules of royalty. Since I moved on from Joshua.
I know he loved Joshua. He looked at him like a son really. He once said that Joshua was a lot like him when he was younger, although he was less open to commitment. He had thought Joshua was the perfect match for me. Joshua had given up everything just to be with me. He also knew that it would be hard for Michael to give up his career and life in America.
Joshua was the male version of what Dad wanted. That is, Dad wanted a woman who would just throw their life away for the life of a royal. But he didn't know that Joshua would be doing exactly what he wanted as a prince. He would be able to help other people. Okay, so it wasn't exactly what he would have wanted to do, you know, with law and stuff, but he could help me work on new laws and stuff.
But Michael was different. He wanted to entertain people and to play music. If he were to play with his amps and stuff here he'd blow out the windows and stuff (which is why the Beatles were banned from the country back in their hey day).He didn't like when the press took his picture, he only accepted it as part of my life. He knew he'd have to take that on as a musician, but that would be something he could control.
But I loved them both. But Joshua was gone. That sounds harsh huh? But thinking about it, it's exactly how he would put it. He was severely blunt and honest with all situations. He would tell me that I was an adult and should do what I thought was right.
Too bad he wasn't here to tell me what that was exactly.
"Dad, I'm going back to New York," I announced a week later. I had had it with his aloofness and distance. I had to go back to New York for the Cosmopolitan Fun Fearless Female Award ceremony.
He grunted.
Cammie looked up and smiled warmly, "Why though?"
"Well, if my wedding being there in two weeks isn't reason enough, I have an award's ceremony to attend to."
"You are still planning on getting married there?"
I made a face, "No, I just like saying that. Of course I am. I have to oversee the last minute details."
"I'm telling you Mia, from experience, the royal social planner does a lovely job. If you would just wait a few more months-"
"Cammie, it's my wedding. Not some wedding planner's wedding. I want to have everything to do with my own wedding."
"So who exactly is paying for this charade?" my father spoke up.
"I am," I replied after a few minutes.
"He isn't helping at all?"
"He is," I argued. "He has his own money as well. But you have to understand that we are a couple and any money that is mine-"
"And what money is that?" my father replied. "Certainly nothing from Genovia or from me."
"No," I replied. "I have my own ways."
He gave me his hard stare. "Oh?" For the life of him he didn't know how I was managing this. "Very well then. Go ahead with this little party of yours. Just remember, if you are going to abdicate, I would appreciate it to be done before the wedding."
"That is only possible if I do so in New York."
He laughed, "What difference does it make? You have already shown your disrespect for Genovia. What difference does it make now?"
I shook my head and rolled my eyes.
"That isn't very princessy," Dad replied. "Oh right, you don't want to be a princess and accept all the generosity-"
"Just shut up already," I said with a sigh. "Don't say I'm not appreciative blah blah blah because you know I have appreciated it. But you guys never appreciated me for who I was. Michael does. People in America do. Will I see you at the wedding?" I said with a sigh.
Cammie looked at him worriedly.
"No, you won't," he replied, looking at the paper and pointedly ignoring me. "But I'm sure once this little rock star lifestyle gets old you'll come running back here begging for forgiveness."
I looked at his wife who was also avoiding my gaze. I took a piece of paper out of my pocket and slid it across the table to him. "Have a good life, Dad."
The paper said the following: (Lindsey Lohan lyrics from PD2)
Don't think that you can tell me what to think
I'm the one who knows what's good for me
And I'm stating my independence
Gonna take the road I'm gonna take
And I'm gonna make my own mistakes
It's my life
I decide
I decide how I live
I decide who I love
The choice is mine
And no one gets to make my mind up
I decide
I decide where I go
What I need, who I know
I'm the one who's running my life
I decide
I decide
Don't think you're ever going to hold me down
Couldn't do it then, can't do it now
I'm kicking down all the fences
Gonna do it all and do too much
And if I mess the whole thing up, it's my ride
I decide
I decide how I live
I decide who I love
The choice is mine
And no one gets to make my mind up
I decide
I decide where I go
Where I sleep, who I know
I'm the one who's running my life
I decide
I decide
I'm taking my own chances
I'm finding my own answers
Come lonely and soaring to me (still iffy about this line)
And that's the way it's gonna be
I decide, oh yeah yeah yeah
I decide, I decide
I decide how I live
I decide who I love
The choice is mine
And no one gets to make my mind up
I decide
I decide where I go
Where I sleep, who I know
I'm the one who's running my life
I decide
I decide
I decide how I live
I decide who I love
The choice is mine
And no one gets to make my mind up
I decide
That was the longest flight ever. I called Michael's cell phone but he didn't answer. I held back my tears. I wasn't going to see my father again. I would never see my room in the palace again. Or Daisy. Or Duke.
But what I was getting in return was greater. I was getting a regular life again. I would have Michael to wake up next to everyday. I would have my Lilly and her little baby.
She was having a baby. The thought was always in the back of my mind. She definitely does not deserve to be having a baby. I know that sounds snotty and jealous. But I am. Well, not snotty, but definitely jealous.
I should be a mother by now. Joshua and I had planned on having kids right away. Our son would have been named Gaberiel Alexander or Alden Michael. Our daughters would have been named Brittania Grace and Isabella Helen. I should be the one throwing up everyday and cursing Josh- whoa.
Where did that come from. I've accepted that Joshua and I will never have children. That he is gone. Maybe it's my biological clock talking to me. Maybe I had it in my head with Joshua about children coming into the picture around now.
Michael and I haven't even broached the topic of children. I mean, with Joshua it was a given that we would have children. He had always joked that our children would be the best looking kids in the world, once they passed their teenage years. We had a bond of being awkward teenagers. We hoped our children would have his charisma and my…well, whatever it is that is good about me.
Okay, so when I was going to need to produce an heir and he was quitting the band it was expected that we would have children, or at least one child. But we haven't discussed this really.
So that was why I wanted to talk about it right away.
Michael knew I was going to be arriving that evening and was waiting for me at the terminal. "Hey babe," he said wrapping his arms around me. He knew I was upset about something before I even said one word to him. "What's wrong?" he asked kissing my forehead. "Have you been crying?"
I lifted my glasses up a little to let him see. "A little."
He smoothed out my hair, "About what baby? Is it your dad?"
I nodded. "Yeah."
He looked back at people staring at us. There were a few members of the paparazzi following him. He had explained to me earlier that a few of them followed him around everywhere. It was a bit creepy, but he said he had gotten used to it. Well, as used to it as one can be.
"Come on. I know a place we can go."
He brought me to the Penguin House. No one followed us there. 'What is it?" he asked softly.
I looked into his worried eyes. The eyes I had fallen in love with over ten years ago. "He…I told him about abdicating," I said quickly.
He tried not to smile. "Oh? And didn't like it?"
I shook my head. "No…he basically…" I started. Then I realized that I hadn't even asked him about what he'd been up to. "How was the promotions?"
"No, he basically what?"
"Said he didn't like the idea. How were promotions?"
He gave me an unsure look, "Fine. I saw Lucie in LA. I think she was trying to hit on me again. But we are really coming together. And the real launch for the album is going to be great. We are re-releasing it the first week of January. Luckily we did the promotions before the wedding. I mean, the guys are gonna do some more stuff in New York the week you and I are on our honeymoon but…"
"But should Tony be spending some time with Lilly?"
"Well, yeah, he should. But she knows what it's like to be married to one of us."
"Um, she still hasn't told him?"
He gave me a blank stare. "Told him?"
"Yeah. That you know…" Shit. No one else knows yet.
"She's pregnant?"
"She told you?" I asked.
"No, I guessed. She'll tell him when she is ready. It's Lilly for crying out loud. They'll get into a fight and she'll use it against him."
I nodded.
"But that's not what is on your mind, is it?" he asked.
I looked at him, "No. I was thinking about us…are we going to have kids someday?" I asked carefully.
He gently brushed a tear from my cheek, "That's what you are so upset about?"
"Michael, I need to know if you want kids."
MICHAEL:
I stared at the love of my life who was scared about kids. "Mia, I want everything with you, even kids. Unless you don't…"
"But if you are with the band you'll never see them," she argued.
"Mia, some things are more important than music."
"But-"
"No buts. If you and I are blessed enough to have children then I'd drop this band like a hot potato. I'd get a regular nine to five job and help you with our babies…wait, are you trying in some screwed up way to tell me that you are pregnant?"
She laughed, "As far as I know no. I want to wait a little while and be selfish. Have kids when we are ready. When we have time to dedicate to the little one."
I had to sigh with relief. I sure as hell was not ready to be a father. "You'll be the hot mom though. All the kids on the playground will flock to you."
She laughed, her tears gone for now. "I'll settle for just a regular old mom and wife for now. Can we go back to the apartment? We have to go to the Plaza to talk to the coordinator there."
"Okay. Oh, we got the responses," I said leading her out of the Penguin House.
We got back to my apartment and I dropped the box of replies. We had invited all of our friends from New York, some of my college friends, her friends from college and her missionary work. Plus we invited foreign dignitaries that her father had insisted upon.
"We'll put the declines in that pile and the acceptances in this pile," she explained. "But we'll do this all later. We need to see Paula about the Plaza."
We hurried to the Plaza for our four o'clock meeting with our coordinator and were greeted by the plump woman. "Hi Paula," I said looking at her oddly.
"What's wrong?" Mia asked, tired.
"We need to talk in private."
She took us into her office and told us that something has suddenly come up and that the Plaza could no longer accomidate our wedding on the day we have chosen. "Oh, and I suppose the next possible date would be in the spring?" Mia said unexpectantly.
"Um, well, yes," the woman stammered.
"We will not be needing your services," Mia snapped. "We will be requiring all of our money back though."
"Mia, calm down," I said softly. "We'll worry about the money later."
She stormed out of the office and I ran after her.
"What is it?" I asked, finally catching her at the subway.
"He did this. He did it so I would have to wait until he wanted me to get married. Til the spring."
"Who?" I asked, rubbing her arms to warm her up.
"Dad. Michael, we have to figure out where we are going to get married and call all of our guests. This is going to take forever!"