The joy of spring starts when the rule of the quiescent snow ends. The melting of ice brings life to everything beneath it, ushering in something more beautiful than the sereneness that is the fleeting winter paradise.
Two months have passed since that fateful winter afternoon. Vina left for the mountains of Payon after the melting of the snow that covered the pass to her hometown. I could be said that it is my entire fault. Nonetheless, I keep on saying to myself that it's for the best.
I never did see Dante the Archer again either.
Meanwhile, I was finishing my final training phase before priesthood. And if ever life would have to turn out for the better for me, the key to it would have to be somewhere else. I just couldn't move on with time in a place where memories of the past seem to be in a complete standstill.
I planned on leaving after taking my oath of priesthood. I didn't even care where I would get assigned anymore. In departing Prontera, I shall be leaving nothing in this land but memories of long thoughts and lament.
That winter night was the last time that I talked with Emilia. A wall of ice formed between our friendship and somehow, not even the warmth of spring would melt it away. I missed our carefree moments one year ago. But the real pain came from the thought that things will never be the same again, like an intricate glass carving, lost forever when shattered.
But instead of sulking and wasting more thought on sour things of the past, I finally reconciled with my mentor and put most of my energy in my training. Father Anthony was more than glad of this. He started giving me special mentoring sessions so I no longer had to sit in his class. I zipped through the track to commencement, hardly thinking of everything else.
Every time I saw something that reminded me of the last three seasons of my life, I looked far ahead and thought of something else. One can say that I was burned and that I no longer wanted to play with anything that had to do with fire.
After much hard work, I finally finished all of my tasks required to become a priest, save the taking of the vows. Father Ranaulf Emmerich Droughtsalve! What a name that would be! But as much as wanted it, the final step could not be hurried like my training. I had to wait for another seven days.
Finding so much free time for the very first time, I finally got back to thinking once again. I often stayed by the woods near Father Anthony's classes. There, I would see Emilia as though she had gone through nothing either. I guess we had both forgotten about everything, in our own ways.
I spent my days reminiscing the happier memories - memories before everything that had to do with the recent times. I ate, I slept and I recalled. I walked around the city, half-dazed, half-dreaming. In a few days, I will finally become that which I have been dreaming of all my life.
By the woods, there was this bridge overlooking the cesspool where the culvert drains poured excess water from the city. As a child, I used to stay there when I felt gloomy. Often, I would find myself accompanied by my best friend. But those days have long since come and gone.
I stayed there the whole day before the night of my oath taking. If I were going to become what I have wanted to be as a child, I wouldn't disappoint the younger me. But why was the feeling somewhat deviante? Why did I find myself staying in this bridge on what was supposed to be the most ecstatic day of my life?
The sun came down on the whole of Prontera. The mating lightning bugs illuminated the pockets of water below with their dances of joy - it was a sight to be seen only during the season of spring.
Then, I heard footsteps coming from the woody path that lead towards the city. I looked back and saw two people, one, which I would have expected, and another, which I have not.
Father Anthony had come to bring me to the Sanctuary for the Council. Along with him came Emilia.
Finding himself a little out of place, Father Anthony mentioned that he would take a walk in the woods for a while, leaving only the two of us and the gentle pouring sound of the culvert pipes.
The situation felt really awkward for me. I guess she felt it too, as our eyes would tango with each other and not even meet along the way for quite a while. It has been too long. And neither of us has seemed to have forgotten.
"You remember when we were still kids? We..."
"Yes," I jerkingly interrupted. I have had enough of the past.
Emilia sighed as she walked towards the same side of the bridge railing where I was leaning.
"Vina told me about everything before she left. I heard that you're planning to go away after becoming a priest."
I closed my eyes and tried to drown myself in another world of make-believe just to distract myself.
"You heard right. So how's life treating you?"
Emi picked up a pebble and threw it by the cesspool. She them slowly replied,
"The same way the world has treated me for the last seventeen years, like the child that I no longer am. But that's not why I came here. I still want to know why you want to leave so badly."
She knew why but I knew she'd ask anyway. That's just so her. I told her anyway, just to get the show going.
"To get a new life; to leave the old one behind."
"Is the old one that bad a life for you?"
I slowly nodded. The old life. She knew, it was the life that I have been sharing with her for the last seventeen years."
"Then I guess your leaving me behind too," said Emi in a grief-sodden tone.
I faced Emi and walked up to her. She faced me too. We have never been this close for quite a while.
"I'm sorry. But as you have always said, one has to get a move on."
Emi began to cry but you could see that she was trying so hard to make it stop.
"Fool! There has to be a point where you stop moving on. There has to be," she said while restraining her sobbing.
Emi rested her forehead in my chest, staring at what seemed to be an infinite ground between us. I could feel the sadness in her every breath. I could only guess how much pain it was causing her. Fate has weaved an invisible net that would forever set our paths apart.
"Don't go. I... I won't let you. Not when everything feels so clear."
I gently pushed her head nearer and finally said something that's been kept locked inside of me for the longest time.
"Do you hear the beating of my heart? Every second that it spends beating is every second spent beating for you. That moment during the winter festival, it was the best ten seconds of my life. Emilia, your presence in my life has made it more than perfect. I can never thank you enough for that."
Emi looked at me. She hasn't really changed much, as what I had thought a year ago. She tried to show that she is now a strong woman and no longer the sniveler that she was fifteen years ago. But then again, deep in side, I know that the child I grew up with is still there, crying her heart out.
"But you don't have to go! Don't you understand? I was confused. I didn't know what to say. What to think. What to feel. But that was a long time ago! I'll do anything to make you stay. I'll do anything because... because...
I love you too!"
I put two fingers of my hands in her mouth to stop her for saying anymore. I didn't want to hear anything more because I too, was starting to feel pain.
I let go of her. And this time, she made no more effort to resist. Her face had suddenly contorted in tears and she cried. I couldn't even bare look at her. This was probably the worst day of my life.
Sometimes, life isn't all fairytale.
Thing's can't always end as intended.
Father Anthony who came from somewhere nearby finally broke the silence.
"We have to go, Ranaulf. The council is waiting for us."
I took one last look at her beside the bridge and nodded in agreement. Without another word, I walked away with Father Anthony. Along the way, Father Anthony put his arms around my shoulders as my father would have had he still been alive.
"You know, you can get all the riches in this life and not be happy if you let go of the one key to your heart. I am an old man, Red. But I wasn't always old. Once, I also was young. And to be able to follow the whims of the young heart is a gift that I never took for granted."
I couldn't help but cry. But it's all too late now. I wiped away the futile tears and I took my vows shortly after reaching the council chambers.
I really should stop my story here, lest I forever engrave a year's fearful memory into the eternity of my soul.
Signed,
Ranaulf Emmerich Droughtsalve, Missionary Priest.