Chapter Sixteen—Shadow

I was sprinting towards the town before I realized I was, without thinking of anything but saving it. Somewhere, the Hero of Time was battling towards his next challenge; this challenge called for another hero, right now, and it would have to be me.

Just inside the walls of Kakariko, all its people were screaming and running apparently at random. The mysterious draining of the well years before meant that there was hardly any water in the town. I looked desperately around for Impa, and spotted her clinging to the edge of the well and staring down into it.

"Impa!" I screamed, and I knew my voice came out more feminine than it should have. Impa whirled around; it was the first time I had ever seen terror written on every part of her face.

"Bongo Bongo has broken out," she told me grimly.

This news slammed me like a solid wall. I felt stupid for not realizing it as soon as I saw all the chaos.

"What? When? Why?"

"Just now. The well isn't his home, and he's been fighting to get out of it since the day I sealed him there… I knew it wouldn't work. He's going for the Shadow Temple now. That's why he broke out. This time, I'm going to seal him away for real. You stay here and help put out the fire, then—" She stopped herself before choking out, "come help me."

I nodded stiffly, and Impa hurried away. Only then did I realize that I had agreed to do something I didn't have the first clue how to do. There was no water in Kakariko. There was a river outside, but I had no way to bring water from it. Impa didn't know where Bongo Bongo was, and what if he turned up and I wasn't there to help the people fight him?

My brain was jammed. My feet wouldn't move. I stood staring at the well in a daze as the world spun around me. I could barely think.

It's happening…

"Sheik!"

Impa is in danger…

"Sheik!"

And I'm not helping…

"SHEIK!"

Someone grabbed my shoulder; I jumped and turned around, heart hammering before it shot up in my chest when I recognized the person before me. I had never been so relieved to see Link. He was dressed in green and no longer covered in dust, and his forearms shone with new armour; gauntlets made of what I recognized to be real silver had taken the place of his leather ones. Something stirred in my memory… the power of silver…

"Sheik, what's going on?" he demanded. He didn't seem remotely afraid, and I knew he was waiting for me to speak with the same philosophical strength I always did, but I just couldn't muster it this time, not while Impa was in danger. I wanted to cry on his shoulder, and I wanted him to reassure me that everything would be okay. I opened my mouth to say something, but before I could, I felt the ground beneath me rumble.

"Link, stand back!" I cried, reaching out to push him away as I turned back to the well. He pushed my arm away and stepped forward.

"Wha—?"

With the force of an explosion, something burst out of the well and soared up. It was almost invisible, like wind, yet somehow unmistakably a real thing, and I knew immediately that I could never fight it. It dived and wrapped around me before I could move to get away, holding my body in a vice-like grip and flinging me around with such force that I was helpless to fight back…

The world went black, and all I could hear was wind howling, myself trying and failing to cry out as a shadow monster flung me through the air, and Link shouting… Then I hit the ground, my neck seared with pain on impact, and I was unconscious.

Agony…

When I came to, my body ached all over before I even tried to move, and my neck felt as though I had broken it. I let out a sigh of relief when I moved trembling fingers and toes and found I still had the use of all my limbs. I was amazed to be alive.

Thank you, goddesses.

My head spun nauseatingly when I sat up, the blood pounding through my skull. I moaned and opened my eyes to look around.

The fire was out, and the villagers had returned to their homes, which were singed and wet but mostly intact. No one took the time to pay attention to the person lying in the middle of the town—or rather, the two people.

Link, too, lay on the ground, spread-eagled and unconscious but apparently unharmed. A sparkle flickered at the edge of his hat near his hairline. Navi. Bongo Bongo had attacked us, but I had survived, and somehow I just knew that Link had as well.

I stood up shakily, swaying a little as I did so, and staggered to Link's side. Standing was proving too difficult, so I knelt down as I tried to enter his mind.

::Wake up… Wake up…::

He let out a low moan and rolled his head over to one side. Navi feebly lifted herself off his forehead and hovered there, swerving unsteadily in midair. It looked as though it cost Link an incredible effort to pull himself to a sitting position; I knew exactly how he felt.

"Are you okay?" I asked quietly.

With his face screwed up in pain, he shook his head to clear it. Apparently this was a mistake, because he moaned again and rubbed his face with his hands very childishly.

"I dunno…" he mumbled sleepily, sounding much younger than his seventeen years. "What happened?"

"We were attacked," I told him grimly, "by a monster that came out of the well. You were out cold for a while. I'm glad you finally came to."

Blinking blearily, he asked, "Weren't you knocked out, too?"

"Yes, we both were." I couldn't think straight. My head was still pounding. "But that's not the point."

Impa's in danger, I remembered, and I'm not helping.

There was no time to be cryptic and mysterious. Impa needed Link, and I had already failed her.

"The monster broke out," I began to explain, being very straightforward. "Impa's gone to seal it in the Shadow Temple. Impa is the Sage of Shadow."

Link was standing up, with a bit more ease than I had done. He could apparently regain his strength quickly.

"You must go help Impa," I said urgently, trying again to stand up. When I nearly fell over again, Link grabbed my hand and pulled me up. "Thank you," I said, but he didn't answer.

He was looking at my hand suspiciously, and I knew he was noticing that, while it was mostly covered, it remained noticeably too femininely tapered to be a man's. He looked slowly up my arm and body, into my face, looking closely at my eyes and frowning. I pulled myself away from him and looked down to take out my harp.

"You must go help Impa," I repeated, my voice shaking slightly. I cleared my throat to bring it back under control. "Play the Nocturne of Shadow."

This song was a range of notes that turned like day into night and back again, as swiftly as the Sheikah people. Link copied it hurriedly, and I knew he wanted to ask me questions; namely, why I had tears in my eyes when I spoke of Impa, and why I had the build of a woman. If he found out more about these things than he already knew, it wouldn't be a far stretch for him to determine my true identity. I spoke to keep from giving him a chance to say anything.

"Please hurry… Impa needs you, now. She's in the Shadow Temple. You have to go there and defeat the monster Bongo Bongo. Go now. It's urgent. I must— I have other things to do."

Sounding annoyed, Link began, "Why do you always—"

Before he could finish, I threw a Deku Nut and teleported myself with a bright flash to the camp Impa and I had set up just outside the village. As I looked around, it occurred to me that this could very well be the last Sheikah camp I ever called home.

Link's going to the last Temple, to awaken the last Sage.

This thought filled me with a burning desire for all of this to be over, for Ganondorf to be dead… to get back my home…

To get back my parents…

To get back my life…

To get back the seven years Link and I had lost.

I had forgotten to tell him.

In all the confusion about Bongo-Bongo and Impa and Kakariko Village, I had forgotten to give him Malon's message.

When I remembered this, my stomach squirmed guiltily. There were more important things going on then, I argued with myself. Impa was in danger, and…

So what? I argued back. Does how much Impa means to you matter more than how much Malon and Link mean to each other?

I didn't know the answer to my own question.

Packing my camp consumed my thoughts so completely that I wouldn't have heard the approaching footsteps even if they had belonged to one much more careless than a member of the Shadow people.

"Sheik," said a vaguely familiar voice.

I turned sharply, cursing the negligence which had allowed an invader to come so close to me. My cat-like readiness dropped immediately, however, when I saw who stood there.

"Jaret," I replied, hoping I could match his tone for casual distance. Although I suspected I had failed, he merely nodded.

"What are you doing here?" he asked. This time, I heard in his voice a lack of control that was distinctly different from the traits which characterized the Sheikah. "And you're not with Impa. Have you…parted ways with her?"

His voice had the cultured, deeper lilt of a man's now, not the undeveloped pitch of a boy's. I remembered watching him years ago as he strived towards manhood—he had achieved such status fully now that he was twenty-one years old, it was clear, but something about the way he carried himself made me suspect it had come at a cost.

"You've seen the state of the world," I answered simply. "It's sometimes necessary for us to distance ourselves from those we hold most dear."

Jaret's eyes darkened. "You don't need to conduct yourself so formally with one of your own kinsmen." In the Sheikah world, all were as family.

"I know," I said, almost apologetically, "but I'm unused to being able to speak freely."

"Yes, I understand." A trace of a smile creased his face, and he tilted his head thoughtfully. "How many years has it been since we sparred, Sheik?"

I withdrew mentally, hoping he wouldn't ask me to do so. "Many," I replied shortly.

"Too many."

"Are you out of practice?" I asked shrewdly.

"Are you?"

"There's no room to be out of practice when living in a world of frequent and violent conflict."

"Then you've just answered your own question."

I gave a small laugh; it was the first time in as many years as I could remember that I had done any such thing. "I suppose I have."

"But I suppose you especially have had your reasons to keep your steel sharp."

I was confused, until he elaborated.

"I've heard tales of you, Sheik. Hero of the people, hero of Hyrule. Until the Hero of Time came."

Of course. My reputation had spread over all boundaries of class, race, and culture. "The salvation of the world is rightly Link's domain," I informed him modestly and truthfully.

When I spoke, Jaret raised his eyebrows, and several seconds passed before I realized what I had done to incite this reaction.

"Link?" he inquired. "You're on such personal terms with the legendary Hero that you can call him by his first name?"

I hesitated. "I am, in fact," I admitted momentarily. Hoping to change the subject, I told him, "But if you know so much of me, I should learn as much about you. Where have you been all these years?"

Jaret smiled once more. "That blatant attempt to change the subject is an insult to the cunning of our people," he commented.

I wasn't used to dealing with real Sheikah; there were times when I felt like one myself, but I could never ignore the fact that someone else lurked beneath my skin. I had to let her do so, I knew, or I would be driven to insanity. I would forget my own life.

"Be that as it may," I persisted, "the question remains a valid one. Tell me about you. How is it you came to be standing here in my camp?"

Jaret sighed. "I couldn't take it anymore, Sheik," he said candidly. "I don't need to tell you what's been going on in the world. You've seen it. You've been fighting it. And of course the Sheikah keep track of their people, so…we all knew that you were out there being the great hero." A playful smile lit his features. "Impa's little nobleman nephew, all grown up and living the life of a true shadow warrior. So I couldn't exactly let you show me up, could I? You did enough of that when we were kids."

I smiled in return, though I wasn't sure how much of these speech was sincere and how much was a casual attempt to regain the innocence of our earlier days. He should have known that I had never been innocent when I had known him, and indeed he did, but he didn't know why.

"So you decided to be a hero, too?" I inquired.

He shrugged. "I suppose. Something like that. But…well, it's kind of hard to explain, but…I wanted to be a Sheikah hero. One thing I always noticed in the tales we heard of you, Sheik, was that you always fought for the Hylians."

Rather hurt, I said defensively, "I protected the lives of the heirs of both the Goron and Zora thrones." And I let down the Kokiri and Gerudo…

"Yes, I know," Jaret agreed with a nod. "But what about the Sheikah? Your own people, Sheik. When did you ever help us?"

His words struck me strongly and painfully, on more levels than one. His point was true. I had prided myself on helping all the people of Hyrule, but I had neglected the race which probably needed me the most. I had assumed that I was immersed in the culture of the shadow people so far that I could consider myself one of them, but I still saw the Hylians first and foremost as my own. What kind of queen would forget such a significant group of her people, the race who pledged their loyalty most closely to the throne of Hyrule?

He was right—that was all there was to it. I was no hero. Link fought for all the races, and in some way belonged to them all: born Hylian, raised Kokiri, sworn Goron, betrothed Zora, trained Gerudo…and I knew that he had allied himself with the elusive ways of the Sheikah as much as I had, though I suspected he did so unconsciously. He had an allegiance with light and shadow in balance, embraced life and death as equal partners in his quest. I couldn't say any such thing of myself.

"I'm sorry," I said softly. I wasn't speaking to Jaret.

"It's all right," he replied heavily. "I took it on. I've been helping the Sheikah whenever I could."

I blinked. "I hadn't heard that."

He raised one eyebrow slightly, but there was no real change in his facial expression. "I can't say that's much of a surprise. The Sheikah keep their tales to themselves, so barely anyone outside our community has heard of me, and you haven't been much a part of the community lately." Though there was no accusation whatsoever in his words or tone, I still heard it. "And, like you, I try to remain as anonymous as possible." That faint smile returned as he added, "They call me the Brother of the Shadow."

"Quite an honour," I said with a nod. "A respectable title for one of our warriors."

"Yes," Jaret agreed. "But you know what would give me more honour?"

"What?" I asked, almost fearfully.

"If I could bring the true shadow back to the shadow people."

Sheikah; shadow people. Sheik; shadow.

I took a step backwards, shaking my head, and Jaret stepped towards me. "No," I said reflexively. "Jaret, I'm—I'm not. You are. I neglected—"

"Be that as it may, you have fought with loyalty for much of the world. The Sheikah respect that you have lent your support to so many, and that you follow the queen when no one even knows if she lives—"

"She does," I interrupted. My old friend stopped, eyes wide, mouth slightly open as his words died. "She does live, Jaret," I repeated. "She—The queen—She will return to the throne. That's what I'm fighting for, and that's what Link is fighting for, above all else."

Jaret didn't move, and there was a long moment during which the only voice was that of the soft wind.

"You said you saw her dead," he finally reminded me.

I glanced down. "I saw… I thought I saw…" I cleared my throat. "But I know now that I didn't," I concluded.

Once more, Jaret remained silent. He knew I was hiding something.

"Do you love her?"

I had to have misheard him. "Do—I'm sorry?"

"The queen. If you know she's alive, then you must have seen her. Spoken to her. And you grew up with her as one of your closest friends, and there was talk of your marrying her even when you were both children… Do you love her?"

"I love Hyrule," I answered evasively.

"Her name is Hyrule."

The Sheikah can find a way to trap anyone in words. They see patterns in silence and sound the way they do in darkness and illumination, and recognize that the meanings of all life are hidden in these symbols. But even Jaret couldn't have known what he was really asking me.

Do I love Zelda? I wish I knew the answer.

All I could tell him was the truth, though it was as infinitely painful to confess as watching Hyrule Castle fall to Ganondorf had been to witness.

"I haven't seen her in several years," I said by way of beginning. "And whether I love her…sometimes I think I do," I admitted. "But other times…I don't think I know her well enough to say if I love her or not. Or to say anything about her at all. She's like a shadow sometimes…"

Sheik. Shadow.

"…except harder to understand."

Jaret nodded, and I knew he understood as well as I could let him. A moment of thoughtful silence passed.

It was I who next inquired, "So how about that spar?"

Jaret's ever-serious expression melted into a grin. "So you weren't conveniently ignoring my suggestion."

I shook my head. "Goddesses forbid I should ever turn down a chance to catch up with my friends again."

"I couldn't agree more."

We didn't need to speak to establish the rules; true Sheikah fighting, involving any and all of our arts, but neither of us attacking to kill or to harm. This was exercise, play, and a chance for us to see how each other had grown up. As we fought, we didn't speak; we used our actions to converse in an aggressive dance, and that was all we needed. At least, that was all we needed at first.

Then Jaret asked unexpectedly, "Will you see the queen soon?"

I was in the middle of delivering a high kick, pivoting on my right foot, and nearly twisted my ankle when I tried to stop myself at these words, stumbling to a standing position.

"What?" I demanded, unduly sharply.

Jaret was unperturbed. "I asked if you'll be seeing the queen soon," he reiterated. "Queen Zelda. You know she's alive…Will you ever see her?"

Link is fighting through the last temple.

"Yes," I admitted quietly.

And then the Sages will awaken.

"Soon?" he pressed.

And then the Seventh Sage will lead them…

"Yes," I said again.

…And all of Hyrule.

After a moment, Jaret said simply, "Be sure you tell her that she has the loyal support of the shadow people. We hail the rightful ruler. Long live Queen Zelda."

He must have heard my words passed on through the streets of Hyrule.

"Does she have the support of the Brother of the Shadow?" I asked gently, chancing only a pale hint of a smile.

Jaret dared to give a genuine one. "As surely as the has the support of the shadow himself."

He would never know how much strength his words gave me. I grinned and said, "Well, then, now that we've settled that…"

In unison, we moved back into the fight, as swiftly as if our moves were choreographed. But the sun was sinking behind the dunes in the west, and soon we would have to retire to sleep to avoid the antagonism of the Poes that haunted the field by night. Once again in unison, by unspoken consent given in a glance, we dropped the combat to sit on the field and rest.

"You're a good fighter, Sheik," Jaret said, a slight note of tiredness in his voice. "Always have been."

I smirked. "So are you."

"Thanks."

Stars were beginning to wink into sight in the sky, but the night was far from being a cold one. In fact, the fabric which enshrouded my face had come loose during one of Jaret's more aggressive moves, and I was enjoying the cool breeze over skin that only rarely got to feel the touch of air.

Relishing the experience, I brushed my hair out of my eyes to look up at the myriad layers of colour that heralded the arrival of darkness. It was not a sight I had appreciated in many years.

Jaret next to me had most likely known the same deprivation. His eyes looked as though they were absorbing every shade that tinted the world at that moment, savouring the image and saving the memory of it for a time when no such grace was available.

Somehow, the sight of him was just as inspirationally beautiful as the rest of the world.

I didn't notice I was staring until he did, and turned to look at me, one corner of his mouth curving upward into a smile.

"Do I have something on my face?"

Realizing what he meant, I blinked and looked down. "Oh…no."

I wished he would look away from me, but even with my eyes focused on the grass I could tell that his were still upon me.

Momentarily, he asked in a tone of some concern, "Something wrong, Sheik?"

Stupid question. There's been something wrong for the past seven years. There's been many things wrong for the past seven years.

"No, nothing."

He didn't believe me. I didn't expect that he would when I gave my answer. Why would he? It wasn't true.

But he was smart enough to realize that I must have had a good reason for lying, and so he simply cleared his throat to break the silence before commenting, "Well…I need to go."

That was all. No reason or explanation.

"Yeah. And I should…I have to finish packing up here."

We both rose, and Jaret extended a hand to shake mine. I accepted it, noticing as I did how cold my own skin felt compared to his.

"I'll see you again, I hope," he said, though the statement was almost a question.

"I hope," I echoed.

He didn't seem encouraged by my words.

"I'll remember to tell the queen what you said," I added, changing the subject.

Relaxing slightly, Jaret nodded. "Good."

"Goobye."

I love my husband, the father of my children, as much as life itself. I can't imagine my life without him, and I wouldn't want to experience such a thing.

But I do sometimes wonder what would have happened if Jaret had ever known Zelda as well as he knew Sheik.

Exhaustion was just removed enough from my mind that I managed to complete packing my camp without first stopping to rest. When I was ready to move on, it was after midnight, and so I withdrew into Kakariko for protection. Just outside the town itself, in the bushes and shadows, I slept alone on the grass.

Sunrise came without disturbing me. On some level I was aware of the sounds of daily life continuing in the background, and on some level I suspect I was even aware that they sounded far more normal and pleasant than they habitually had done of late, but I remained asleep.

It was late morning when a vision came to me, so gradually that at first I didn't notice what it was; I was asleep, after all, so I simply brushed it off as a dream. Then I realized what was really happening, and my body went stiff. I saw the entire scene, unbroken except by changes in speed from normal to slow motion to fast forward. It was hard to follow, but I managed to piece together what was happening into a coherent whole.

Link was jumping on something that looked like a massive drum. No, he wasn't jumping. He was bouncing as two enormous disembodied hands beat the supple ground beneath his feet. There were strange white attachments on his boots which made them look comically like bunny slippers with small wings.

Link was shooting arrows at the hands, while dodging their attacks, so that they stopped in midair. They were big enough to grasp his entire body and crush or smother him if they so chose.

There must have been something else, too, something invisible, because Link was also shooting at what looked to me like simply the empty air between the hands, except that his arrows stuck. He was looking at that empty space through a strange purple and red lens like a magnifying glass.

Whenever he struck in this area, he ran forward and swiped at this invisible thing, his sword flashing as lightning fast as it had done when he fought the twin witches in the Spirit Temple.

Suddenly, it was over; the hands beat the drum in pained spasms, and then lay still upon the surface and melted away. Link must have won.

I was looking at the insides of my closed eyes. I let out a sigh and opened them.

Rauru's voice entered my mind.

::Your Majesty, Link has awakened us all.::

Your Majesty… I would have to get used to that title now. ::I know,:: I answered him.

::Where should I tell him to meet you?::

::At the Temple of Time.::

::Very good.::

He must have sensed the strange sadness and joy rising within me, because he added, ::It's almost over.::

::I can finally tell him everything…::

Rauru sounded hesitant, but he said, ::Yes.::

::I'm free. Goodbye, Rauru. Next time I talk to you, I'll be Queen of Hyrule.::

::Goodbye, Your Majesty.:: Again.

I stood up and looked around the remains of my camp. I didn't need it. I didn't need to take it down. I called for Umikae, and he came running shortly. Mounting him, I thought of how I would soon be riding royal horses with proper saddles and decorations, like a delicate lady. As I deserted my Sheikah camp I couldn't help thinking that, despite everything, I would miss Sheik.

I don't really know why I took my time getting to the Temple; after all, I had been counting down to this day since the age of ten. Maybe I was taking this last chance to look at Hyrule through the eyes of my alter ego for the last time. It was a strange goodbye. It was like a death. I didn't feel like I was a part of this world. One half of me would cease to be within an hour, the other would be creating a new life in a new kingdom.

I bumped abruptly back down to reality, as I took the long way around Lon Lon Ranch, when I saw a green-clad figure in the distance, on the back of a warm bronze-coloured mare sprinting towards Hyrule Castle Town, a blue fairy zooming along behind. Epona was the fastest horse in Hyrule, and I had never seen her go anywhere at such a speed. I couldn't afford to be too far behind them, so I urged Umikae to go faster, though I hated the idea of spending these last moments in a hurry.

When I left Umikae, I was achingly disappointed, somewhere under the stressful anticipation that consumed me, that there was no time for a proper goodbye.

"I'm sorry…bye…thank you," was all I could whisper, embracing his neck quickly before splashing across the river and into town.

Link had already frozen the Redeads; scanning the market, I spotted him dashing up the stairs to the Temple of Time. I ran after him and came to a stop before the door.

My heart was racing. My whole body was trembling. My stomach was knotted so tightly I thought I was going to be sick. Adrenaline of terror and underlying excitement was searing through me. As long as I had waited for this day, I would suddenly have given anything for it not to have come.

I took deep breaths, but they didn't help. I could think nothing except a single, terrifying idea.

This is it.