Kel tried to avoid everyone as she walked back to her room to change clothes for the Tortallian burial of her family. Kel cringed inwardly when Raoul caught up with her.

"Kel," he said softly, "they are in a better place. You're prayers will guide them don't worry."

Kel just nodded and continued on. 'Oh, well if my prayers sent them to the afterlife they should be just fine,' she thought bitterly, remembering her measly excuse for a prayer.

Raoul had continued the conversation with out her and she vaguely realized he was talking about getting her some food.

She stopped and looked at him, "Sir, I don't have time to eat right now. I need to change my clothes and prepare for the funeral for the rest of my family," she told him.

Raoul covered his surprise and started to protest but she cut him off with the first thing that popped into her head, "How is Mindelan, Sir?"

Raoul looked shocked a second time but decided to answer her question lest she stop talking to him altogether, "I don't want to have to tell you this but I must. Kel, there is hardly any money left. I've managed to scrape together enough to send a couple shipments of grain to the barony, but I fear it won't be enough to keep the people from rebelling in the future," he told her, "Now Kel, I'd be willing to donate some of my own funds to help you-"

"No," Kel said, interrupting him, "I won't take your charity. I would never be able to pay you back. I'll just sell some of Mindelan." Her stomach churned at the thought but she wouldn't accept his help. She was on her own now and that's the way it had to be.

"Excuse me sir but I must be on my way," she told him and started towards her room.

Quickly Kel changed her clothes and rushed out of her room only to realize she had plenty of time until the rest of her family's funeral. Sighing she walked to a window in some obscure part of the palace where hardly anyone walked. She pounded her fist on the stone in frustration. 'Why can't I get myself under control?,' she asked herself, 'You don't see any of the other Yamani's acting this way,' a little voice inside her berated 'You'll never fit in. You aren't Totallian and you aren't Yamani. Good thing you have no one now. You would shame them all by the way you are acting.'

The reasonable part of Kel knew this wasn't true but that part had left her four days ago when she'd been informed of her family's death. Kel finally came out of her stupor and realized someone was standing beside her. It was Joren. She glanced at him and he glanced at her but neither said anything. Briefly her mind left her present thoughts and began to wonder why he was there. The last time he'd turned up like this he'd called her a cow, well maybe not in those exact words, but he'd said she needed to lose weight.

Kel turned her gaze once again to the window not really see anything. She just couldn't look into those blue eyes, which held so much depth in them. She was afraid she would drown in them if she looked at them for much longer.

They stayed that way for a few moments before Joren spoke in a quiet voice, "Have you ever heard the story of Sir. Trenton?" he asked.

Kel once again stunned, barely managed to keep her Yamani face on and she was so surprised by his question she answered dumbly, "No," with out bothering to ask why he wanted to know.

Joren didn't give her a chance to speak and began to tell the story of Sir. Trenton who supposedly sailed around the world and saw many odd things and wonders. The tale included the fabled flying cities of Jenhra and the amazing fire ring of Hawicki.

Kel listened, fascinated as she watched Joren tell it. He spoke as arrogant as ever, assuming the bored air of a noble, but there was just a boyish hint of childlike quality nestled in his eyes.

She became drawn to the story and in the end, Sir. Trenton, after coming back to the kingdom and realizing the people only wanted the riches of what he had seen and not the valuable information he could give them, sailed off and became a legend and a myth still told to children right before bedtime today.

Kel herself remembered her mother telling her about some of those mythical places. Oddly enough when she remembered her mother's soothing voice reciting these stories, there was not a feeling of pain but one of warmth as she remembered the cherished memory. She gave him a puzzled look, not certain what to make of this new Joren, or of what he was trying to tell her.

Joren returned his gaze out the window, "Isn't it interesting how no one may ever remember what a face looked like or what chores they did or didn't do? In the end it all comes down to how people remember you and if they recall the memory with bitterness or happiness," he paused a moment and bored his ice blue eyes into her hazel ones as if to imprint what he was about to say into her mind.

"How will you remember, Kel?" he asked her not expecting a response. She was so startled that she broke eye contact and turned towards the window once again. After a moment and she turned to speak and realized he had left. Suddenly the bell rang and she left to attend the funeral in the courtyard. But this time her heart was not so heavy and her steps more confident as she made her way to the burial.

During the service Kel was able to keep from losing control of herself as she remembered her family in a new light. Her mother and father had truly changed Tortall negotiating the marriage and her brothers had been fine knights and she knew they had loved her, even with all her faults.

As the service drew to a close she was the last to leave. Lingering around the newly covered plots she tried to find the words to pray, but none would come to her. Turning to leave she ran head on into Cleon. He placed his hands on her shoulders and looked down at her.

Kel frowned, "What? What's wrong?" she asked him with apprehension.

"Kel," he began, taking a hand away to run through his mass of red hair, "I've been assigned a new knight master. I knew it would happen with Iness being gone and everything but I didn't think it would be this soon," he looked at her expectantly.

Kel shook her head remaining calm, "Why are you telling me this. I knew this would happen."

Cleon coughed distractedly and tried to put his gaze else where besides her, "I….well…Kel…Sir. Kent needs to leave tonight and go to aid the knights fighting the Scanrans near the border, which means I go too. And I…I'm going to miss you," he said finally and took a step closer to her, his eyes looking into hers.

Suddenly she realized what he wanted. He wanted to kiss her. She panicked. She didn't want to be kissed or held or hugged or anything right now. She just wanted her distance.

Hastily she took a step back and stammered, "I…I need to go..go..prepare for the celebration tonight. I suppose this is good bye," she told him.

Cleon took another step towards her, concern flashing in his eyes and before he could touch her, Kel turned abruptly and walked briskly back to the palace telling herself that she wasn't fleeing him at all.