"Two Faces, One Mask"
10. 'Scar tissue'
"The worst is over nowAnd we can breathe again.
I wanna hold you high –
You steal my pain away.
There's so much left to learn
And no one left to fight.
I wanna hold you high
And steal your pain."
'Broken' Seether
Yolei pulled on her white top and looked at her reflection in the mirror. She examined herself and when she was happy with what she saw, she went to her dresser to brush her long lavender locks.
She moved to the bathroom and picked up her lipstick, but as she did so, she knocked Ken's comb to the floor. She bent down to pick it up and suddenly felt herself dissolve into tears.
Now something like this would never have sparked this kind of reaction from Yolei, but because it had being five months that Ken had being in a coma, she was prone to breaking down like this.
The entire apartment reminded her of him and so did University. She could not escape him…it.
The doctors had told her that the longer he was in the coma, the less likely it was that he would wake up. The problem was they could not find anything physically wrong with him. There was no brain damage, his vitals were strong, and other than the fact that he was in a coma, he was perfectly healthy.
She leaned against the cupboard and howled out her sobs, while clutching Ken's comb. She found the same things would run through her head when she got like this.
'I should never have brought him back. He probably doesn't want to wake up. He must hate me. I'm sorry Ken, I didn't know!'
Wormmon had scuttled into the bathroom to see what the noise was and saw Yolei sitting with her back against the cupboard, hugging Ken's comb and now, sobbing quietly.
"Yolei?" he said timidly, "It's okay, Yolei."
He wasn't entirely sure why he was saying this, but he had often heard humans say these words to each other when one of them was crying.
She looked at him with a tear-marked smile and nodded. She stood up, placed his comb down next to her lipstick and splashed water on her face. She patted it dry with her towel and then looked at her reflection.
"I miss him." Wormmon choked suddenly at her feet.
She looked down and saw there were tears in his eyes this time. She bent down, picked him up and walked over to her bed.
"I miss him too Wormmon."
"Do you think he'll ever wake up?"
"God, I hope so."
------
"Yolei!"
The lavender haired young woman turned to see Kari running toward her, an arm full of books.
"Yolei," she panted, "Aren't you coming to Psychology?"
Yolei shook her head. "I thought I would skip it today."
"Again? You've already missed four lectures and my notes aren't as good as yours. You won't pass if you use them."
"I don't care, Kari." She sighed and turned away.
"Ken would care. He wouldn't want you to fail." She said gently.
"We don't know what Ken wants or what he doesn't want, Kari." She snapped.
Kari took a step back, "I'm sorry Yolei…I…"
Yolei took a deep breath, "No, I'm the one who's sorry."
She turned around again, "I was thinking of going to visit him. Mae said she was going to check on him today, try that thing she did when he was in a catatonic state again."
Kari nodded, "Do you think it will work this time. I mean, she tried it once already five months ago."
"I hope it does."
"How are his parents doing?"
Yolei shrugged, "The same as the rest of us, I guess. Hoping, praying….waiting."
Kari stepped forward and hugged Yolei, "Tell him that I hope he wakes up soon and that I miss him, okay?"
Yolei nodded, as Kari pulled away and added, "I'll try to take notes you can use."
Yolei smiled weakly and watched Kari hurry to class.
She turned into the sun and began her walk to the hospital. The air was crisp and clean. There was a slight breeze and the sun made pretty shadows between the gaps of trees. Ken would have smile and suggested sitting under them. Then Davis would have come along and suggested a game of soccer.
She bowed her head at this and then looked up to continue her walk.
On the horizon, she saw Davis and he saw her. An outsider looking at the two of them would have thought they were strangers acknowledging each other's presence. Davis dropped his head as soon as he had made eye contact with her and she had done the same.
Both were ashamed of themselves and slightly angry with the other. They had both argued about Ken's condition, one blaming the other for bringing him back when he didn't want to be brought back and the other arguing that she knew that he did. Both regretted the fight and the words that had being thrown back and forth, but neither wanted to say it first.
Upon reaching the hospital, Yolei saw Mr. and Mrs. Ichijouji in the passage. They had obviously just checked up on Ken and were heading home. They looked at her and wordlessly nodded as a greeting. She echoed them and walked into Ken's room.
Mae was seated next to the bed; Gennai was absent due to the fact that he was helping the Light and Dark Masters fix the Digital world.
"Any change?" Yolei asked.
Mae shook her head. Yolei looked down at her boyfriend, who was lying as if asleep in the white sheets, wires and IVs attached to him. The constant beep from the heart monitor had become a soothing sound for Yolei, for it reminded her that his heart was still beating, that he was still alive. Had there not being that sound, one would think that the young man lying in the bed was dead.
She leaned over him and brushed his hair away from his eyes.
"I'm going to try it now." Mae said suddenly.
"Do you need my help?" Yolei asked quickly.
Mae shook her head, "I think it would be best if I try alone first. I don't know what I'll find and I don't want to scare you."
"What was it like last time you tried?"
Mae looked away and Yolei was sure she saw the Crest Guardian shiver.
"Like it was two years ago. A house with so many rooms, but…there was this…presence that disturbed me. I don't know what it was."
"You don't think it was Ken?" Yolei asked hopefully.
Mae shook her head, "No, it wasn't…"
Yolei nodded and turned toward the door, "I'll wait outside."
Mae nodded her head and placed her hand on Ken's forehead.
In a flash, Mae was inside Ken's mind. The scene was different to how she had seen it before. His mind was like a house, filled with countless rooms but to her left was a passage of complete darkness and to her right was a white scene of blossoms floating to the ground and a young woman in white standing at the end of the corridor.
She walked up the white corridor and saw rows of people sitting on pews with flowers at the ends of them. Petals fell in her long brown wavy hair. Her bare feet felt the soft white carpet beneath her. She was dressed in her emerald medieval Guardian dress. The guests were all dressed in smart outfits. She walked closer and saw Yolei standing at the alter, her bridesmaids next to her.
Mae looked behind her and saw that the dark passage was creeping up on her. Half the pews had being swallowed by the darkness and it suddenly dawned on her. Panic rose up inside of her like bitter bile. She took a deep breath and charged for the darkness. She ran until it swallowed her whole. She could see nothing, but she didn't need to see anything, she just needed to focus and use her sixth sense.
Finally, she stopped and opened her palm so a small ball of blue flame could flicker there and illuminate the dark. At her feet, she saw Ken kneeling, rocking backwards and forwards. His eyes were wide in terror and sweat was running down his temples.
She knelt down next to him and wrapped her arm around him.
"Shh." She cooed and he stopped rocking and fell into her lap. She stroked his head and tried not to cry.
"I'm sorry I couldn't find you before. I had no idea you were still in here." She whispered.
"It wasn't here before." He choked. "Not all of it. Just a little bit and it just got bigger."
"I know Ken. It's…it's the evil that Daemon…I have to get rid of it."
"The evil?"
"The Spore."
There was a cold deafening silence that followed that statement. Then Ken whispered, "But then…I won't…I won't be smart…or…"
"Ken, yes you will be. You are smart and strong and capable of everything you have been doing while the Spore lay dormant. You do not need it."
Ken looked up into her face, "I've seen so much Mae. I have felt what true evil feels like. I have died once. It should end."
"Ken, I won't remove it if you don't want me to, but if I leave it, it will kill you eventually."
"No, I want you to remove it. I want you to get rid of it and make sure no one else is harmed because of it. I want to start living the life I've wished for. I want to start fresh. I know now that the Emperor is not evil, just dark. That he was there to help me, that he was misunderstood, that he is my shadow. I know now that I am who I am, that I am what I am. I know now that there is nothing wrong with getting angry, with getting things wrong, with making mistakes. I know that I love my friends and family and that I know I want to marry Yolei. I know I want to live a full and happy life with her. I know that without everything that has happened to me, I would not be the person I am today…and that would be a shame…because I like the person I have become."
Mae smiled kindly, "You've come a long way Ken. Hold on while I remove it. I'll see you when you wake up."
In another flash, Mae was standing over Ken in the hospital room.
She gently brushed away the hair from his face and then slipped her hand behind his neck. In a few seconds she began to shake and shiver and when she pulled her hand out from under his neck, her hand was in a tight fist.
She stood watching over him for a few minutes, waiting. Finally, he stirred and then blinked his eyes at her.
"Mae." He said groggily.
She smiled at him, relieved.
He glanced down at her fist.
"Did you…is that?"
She nodded.
"What are you going to do with it?"
"Destroy it once I get to the Digital World."
Ken nodded and lapsed into silence. Mae looked away and at the door.
"I'll call Yolei, tell her you're awake."
"Wait."
She paused and turned back to look at him, "Yes?"
"Mae, I died. It was only for a few minutes, but I still died and I don't remember much of what I saw, but I know Osamu was there with me. I think he told me that you…that you love me."
Mae dropped her gaze to the floor.
"It's true isn't it?"
She nodded guiltily.
"He also told me that you were ashamed of it."
"I'm not ashamed. I'm just…confused."
"Me too."
She looked up at him.
"I love you too, Mae. I don't know what that means, but…there's Yolei and Gennai…is it wrong that we feel this way for each other?"
A sudden smile came across Mae's face as she mused, "Love is neither wrong or right. It is love only. I finally understand that now."
Ken frowned at her.
"Ken, what we feel for each other is a bond that no one else understands and could never possibly understand. We're connected. But it's a different kind of love. When I was in your mind, the image you projected of me was that of me as a Guardian, not the girl you first saw when you met me. That tells me that you think of me as your Guardian, not your lover. I realized that I loved you but was not attracted to you the way I am attracted to Gennai. Do you understand?"
Smiling, Ken nodded, but suddenly a look of horror came across his face.
Mae frowned, "What's wrong?"
"Mae, you died! I felt it! What happened?"
"The Light Masters brought me back."
"They what? They couldn't just leave you in peace?"
She smiled grimly, "I chose to come back."
Ken looked down awkwardly, "You came back to save me, didn't you?"
"And I would do it over and over again. It was my decision, please don't feel guilty about it."
She bent over and kissed him on the forehead. "I'll call Yolei."
Ken watched as Mae walked out the room.
Mae turned to Yolei and nodded.
"He's awake?" Yolei said breathlessly.
Mae smiled wordlessly.
Yolei glanced down at Mae's hand in a fist, "What's that?"
"The Dark Spore."
Yolei's eyes widened, "I thought he couldn't live without it."
"As it turns out, I was wrong. He cannot live with it." Mae sighed, "He's waiting for you."
Yolei nodded and entered Ken's room.
He noticed she looked uncomfortable.
"It's okay Yolei." He smiled warmly, "I wanted to come back."
She frowned, "How did you know…?"
"Not really sure, but I know how you feel."
She sat down in the chair next to his bed and they both fell into the horrible silence of wanting to say something, but not knowing how to put it into words.
Finally Yolei took a deep breath and opened her mouth, "I left you Ken." She stated, as if this thought had just struck her, "I left and saying 'I'm sorry' just doesn't feel like enough."
"You came back though. You saved my life."
"Selfishly. I didn't even know if you wanted to be brought back."
He regarded her with an expression she couldn't quite make out. "Yolei, I love you. I don't think I really told you that. You are my world and for a moment I didn't want to live, without you, but knowing that you wanted me back so badly that you risked loosing me forever, told me that you still loved me. That's when I knew that I wanted to live."
"You saw the test the Light Masters gave me?"
He nodded.
"There's so much left for me, for us, I couldn't see it before."
"But you didn't wake up after I brought you back to life." She argued, "I thought that I'd done the wrong thing."
"No, Yolei, never. There's a whole life I want to live with you, no matter what I might have said, or what I might have felt. I am so happy that you saved me, the reason I couldn't wake up was because I was so absorbed in the darkness within myself, I couldn't see the way out. Mae helped me see it; she brought me back to you." He squeezed her hand, "Yolei, if this experience has taught me one thing, it's that life is short and easily wasted on negative thoughts."
"But Ken, I left, remember? Aren't you angry with me?"
"No. I understand how you felt and I can't say that I wouldn't have done the same thing. I love you so much…maybe too much and I know the kind of pain you must have been going through. I know that I would…that I couldn't survive without you. All that matters is that you're here, with me."
"I'll never leave again, Ken, I'm sorry!"
She leaned forward to hug him and as he hugged back, the door opened again and in walked Davis. Upon seeing them, he paused and made to turn back.
"Davis." Ken called and the brunette turned around.
"I'm interrupting." He said and glanced at Yolei.
Ken looked from one to the other and sensed that something was not right between them.
"I'll come back later." He said.
"No." Ken said, almost angrily, "I want you to stay. I need to talk to you."
Yolei looked down at Ken again, "I'll leave you two alone then. I'll be back later."
Ken nodded and let go of her hand. She walked passed Davis without looking at him and closed the door behind her.
Ken looked at Davis, who was looking at the door, "You had a fight." He stated.
Davis turned back to Ken and sighed as he sat down.
"About me." Ken finished.
Davis nodded, "I'll apologize to her."
Ken couldn't help but grin. Davis, admit that he was wrong? This was a first.
Davis looked up at Ken, "You said you wanted to talk to me."
Ken nodded, "When I was in Daemon's lair, he had this set up with monitors and stuff. I don't know how he got hold of it, or even if it was real, but I saw clips of you before we had become friends. You didn't have any flattering things to say about me back then."
Davis opened his mouth and then frowned, "What things did I say?"
"That I was rotten to the core and pure evil."
Davis felt his heart sink, "Ken, I didn't know you and you know me, I say things before I think, I didn't mean any of it. You know that right?"
"I won't say that it didn't hurt hearing those things from you, but it's in the past and it happened a long time ago. Besides, it's not like you were wrong, I was heartless back then."
"So you're not angry with me?"
Ken shook his head, "The funny thing about dying, you sort of get this new perspective of life. I used to dwell on all the negativity in my life, so much so that I missed out on all the positive stuff going on around me. I don't want to be that person anymore."
Davis grinned, "Glad to hear it Ken."
------
Mae wondered through the Digital World, her hand still in a tight fist. She made her way up a large mountain, a grim expression on her face. This mountain however was a lot easier to climb. When she reached the peak, she muttered a phrase in an unrecognizable language and the peak rumbled and broke apart, revealing a fiery volcano.
She held her fist over the burning lava and yelled out, "Evil shall enter and may not leave!"
Then she opened her hand and dropped the Dark Spore into the pit, where it burned into nothing. The volcano began to repair its self and became the mountain it was only moments before.
She made her way back down the mountain, only to be greeted by Gennai. She was about to smile at him but when she got closer she saw he was wearing an expression she couldn't quite read.
"What's wrong?" she asked when she was close enough.
"The Light Masters need to see you. They say it's urgent."
Her stomach sank, "What now?"
"They didn't really say."
Mae nodded, opened her hand and stepped through a portal into the world of the Light Masters.
She walked through the white world until she came to the court of three.
"Gennai said you needed to see me."
They nodded and spoke as one, "We have been thinking, Mae."
"About?"
"You have an affinity with Earth. It is not surprising, considering you spent almost all of your life living there after you were banished. We have decided that once the gates to the Digital World are closed, you shall remain there."
Mae frowned, "But what if the Digital World was in danger again?"
"There are plenty of other Guardians to protect it, not to mention the new Digidestined that would be called forward." After a pause they added, "The Crest of Kindness will never be called again, therefore you will never have another charge to care for."
Mae nodded, "But Gennai…I don't want to be…I love him…"
"Yes. We have spoken with him and he is more than willing to live with you on Earth."
"But…"
"There are plenty of Guardians, Mae." They stressed.
Mae took a deep breath, "I'm not sure I want to live forever on Earth, though."
"We said nothing about living forever, just for the rest of your life."
Mae narrowed her eyes at them, "What are you saying?"
"You will be stripped of your powers and therefore will live out a mortal life, the same is for Gennai."
Mae looked down, a tiny smile on her lips. "Thank you."
"It is our pleasure. You have gone beyond the duty of a Crest Guardian and we are very grateful."
She looked up suddenly, "Could I ask one thing though?"
"Anything."
"Could you change my appearance?"
"How so?"
"My hair…" Mae hesitated but then pushed on, "I want it long, red and straight, instead of it the wavy brown I have now. Like the Sorceress's hair."
"Any particular reason for this Mae?"
She nodded, "I've seen the change in Ken. He's completely accepted the darker side of himself. I want to do the same. I feel that if I have a constant reminder of the Sorceress, it will make me a better person."
They nodded, "Anything else?"
"Yes. A tattoo of the Crest of Kindness on my wrist."
"Very well."
------
Ken looked in the mirror and straightened his black bow tie. He took a deep breath and smoothed out his tuxedo. His stomach was doing a strange thing and he wasn't sure if he was going to throw up or laugh his heart out.
Davis put a hand on his shoulder, his typical Davis smile firmly in place.
"Relax dude."
Ken gave a breathless laugh, "I don't know why I'm so nervous."
Davis shrugged, "You want everything to be perfect that's why."
At that moment, TK entered the room and Ken turned sharply to him.
"Is she here yet?"
TK shook his head, "Gennai said she had one thing to take care of in the Digital World."
Ken nodded, "And Yolei?"
"Just got off the phone with Kari. She said they are just about to leave her house and they'll be here soon."
Ken nodded again and sat down.
------
Mae stood on a cliff edge, the wind tugging at her long red hair, her Lilac silk dress billowed behind her. Her emerald eyes scanned the horizon and sea of tress below her. She would miss the Digital World dearly but her real home was the Real World. After the wedding she and Gennai would be living there permanently, but this time Mae decided on staying in Japan in order to be close to Ken and the rest of the Digidestined.
"You're going to be late."
She turned to face Osamu.
"I was just about to leave, but I was waiting for you."
Osamu nodded.
She moved forward and wrapped her arms around him.
"I'm going to miss you so much Osamu. Thank you for all your help and especially for giving me the strength to finish my test."
"You're welcome."
She pulled away and looked into his eyes, "I'll take good care of him, Osamu. I promise."
"I have no doubt that you will. Tell him, good luck and that I love him."
She nodded, "I will."
She turned to the TV port and gave one last look back, "Good bye, Osamu."
In a flash she was gone from the Digital World forever and Osamu smiled as he faded to nothing. Like her, he was going home too.
------
The pews were filled with guest, family and friends. White roses and Babies Breath were in bouquets at the end of them filling the air with their sweet sent. Blossoms scattered the white carpet. The digimon were walking up it, throwing petals in the air.
Like Mae, Kari, Mimi and Sora were dressed in Lilac silk dresses, waiting at the alter. Opposite them were Davis, TK, Cody and Gennai. Ken was waiting anxiously at the alter with the Priest.
Suddenly the music changed to the wedding march and Ken turned to see his bride. Yolei was glowing with an angelic light and her white silk gown made her look like a princess from a fairy tale. When she saw Ken, her face broke into the most beautiful smile he had ever seen and he knew his life was just beginning.
------
(AN)
Oh my word, I think I'm going to be sick. This ending is so sickly sweet. It took me two years to finish this story and this is how I ended it? Ah well, some of my stories need a happy ending, considering the fact that a couple of them are going to have tragic endings.
Jeez, I can't believe it's finally finished. Only took me two years. Originally I killed Ken in the first draft, but for some reason, I couldn't leave him dead.
I re-wrote this chapter at the very last minute because after reading it so many times I just hated it. The very beginning and the very end are the same, but the middle is slightly different. I originally had Ken and Mae have a conversation about Mae becoming mortal and the hair and tattoo, but I couldn't find a good place to put it in to the new version of this chapter. So I'll say it here. They had the whole talk before the wedding, a couple of weeks after Ken got out of hospital. Mae felt that she had finally accepted her dark side, thanks to Ken's inspiration and bravery. I know the hair wouldn't really be significant to anyone else, but for a Wicca (or witch) hair was a symbol of power. That's why most witches have long hair. Mae basically is a witch and I felt that if she used the memory of the Sorceress in a positive way that would be a good source of her inner strength. That tattoo of the Crest of Kindness was just something I felt would be special for her, as a reminder of her life.
I also wanted to write in the fact that Ken still lectures at the University but it didn't really fit anywhere either, so I just left it for you guys to assume.
I was so very tempted to leave something dark at the end, but I decided against it because this time around, Ken gets a happy ending. He's been through a lot with these story arcs that I've written and this one is now all tied up neatly in a bow. It's finished and leaves me to complete my other stories.
Now for some news which I posted on my Live Journal a little while ago. I am retiring. Not now, but hopefully at the end of this year. I am taking a three-year BA course in creative writing and will be taking ten subjects this year. That means I'll have little time for my Fanfictions but mostly I want to concentrate on my original works, which I want to sell some day. The works I have in the mix at the moment are, "Gone", "Cruel Kindness", "Sins of the Father" (which is finished, I just have to edit and proofread it), and "Cruel Angel's Thesis" (cross over fic with Akino Ame's story, "With Broken Wings" and my story, "Doppelgangland"). I will not be starting any other stories from now on. I was originally going to write a DNAngel fic, but I've decided to shelf it. Maybe one day I'll come back to it, but I doubt it.
Anyway, until next time…blessed be!