"At least he's sensible enough to use protection spells, Sirius." Remus Lupin pointed out distantly, more interested in munching on a banana. God damn Harry Potter, Sirius Black thought wretchedly. There were days in Hogwarts when he would have killed to see Remus masticate a banana like that. But no, now he had to be head over heels for his GODSON, and even the sight of Remus doing that to a phallic object didn't stir him (except a little bit of nostalgia for that day with the Quidditch brooms and the ice cream, but he'd never admit it).
"But he's using them with everyone but me, and therein lies my problem!" Sirius answered irritably.
Lupin rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to answer (after he had swallowed, fortunately) when the front door banged open. Breezing in was Sirius' walking Engorgement Charm, carelessly clad in tight Muggle jeans and an open button-up shirt (without an undershirt). Harry's chest was slightly wet, testament to the boiling temperature outside. Sirius couldn't fathom why he wanted to wear such tight jeans in this weather, but he certainly didn't mind.
"Hello, Remus, Sirius. Christ on a stick, Lupin, what are you doing to that poor fruit?" The man inquired as he plopped down onto an available stool, conveniently in front of the anchor of the Cooling Charm, causing the breeze to ruffle his hair fetchingly.
"I'm not doing anything to Sirius, why do you ask?" Remus replied with a grin, avoiding Sirius' elbow.
Sirius made a mighty effort to ignore his godson's naked chest and spoke up quickly. "Why the impromptu visit? I was under the impression you were going to the Cannons' match with Ron today."
"That's actually why I'm here," Harry said with a self-effacing smile. "Don't think he's up to coming. Er, to the game anyway. I swung by Ron and Hermione's to pick him up and found he and Hermione chained to the bed. Literally." Sirius coughed, disguising a laugh. "Quiet, Padfoot. I haven't quite recovered from the trauma of seeing a woman naked yet, and you're mocking my pain. Anyway, I was wondering if you'd like to come with, Sirius." Harry directed a mock-disgusted look to Remus. "Being as Remus' sold out to the dark side and will be pretending Snape is a banana all day." Remus choked, blindsided.
"Flattering, Harry. Those images you just gave me don't exactly make me want to oblige..." Sirius said, laughing at Remus' face. "Honestly, Moony, you thought he didn't know? The moans coming from the bathroom at his last party were pretty obvious."
"What??" Harry said, pulled up short.
"Oh. I suppose he didn't know about that. My apologies for outing you, Remus. Have fun avoiding his curses when we get back! I await seeing you with orange hair." Sirius said, over his shoulder as he grabbed a chuckling Harry and propelled him out of the house.
Remus stared after the laughing couple, noting that Sirius' hands had yet to leave Harry's back.
He thought he was subtle. Remus shook his head in amusement at his friend's blindness. It was just as well they left... it was almost time for him to firecall Severus.
"Are they still losing?" Harry asked, maneuvering back into his seat and narrowly avoiding spilling chilled butterbeer down one witch's ample cleavage. Sirius grabbed the tipsy beverage with a grin and took a long pull from it, eyes closed. Harry grabbed the drink back with a friendly growl as Sirius laughed helplessly.
"Do you even need to ask?" Sirius asked dryly, raising one eyebrow.
Harry laughed. "Right. Well, I do need to tell Ron something."
"He won't even remember there was a game, trust me. Newlyweds are like that." He shook his head, stealing a Toffee Toad from Harry's bucket. Harry slapped his hand, causing him to drop the candy. Harry grinned triumphantly and scooped up the treat into his mouth. Sirius pouted childishly.
Harry rolled his eyes at the act. "I know you, Sirius. You'll eat all my food and then complain about me not bringing you any!"
"Slander! Libel! Something like that!" Sirius said, making a vigorous attempt at denying the truth.
"Sure, sure.... c'mon, I'll show you how to get your own. It's very simple. I'll even let you pay!" Harry jumped up and grabbed Sirius' hand and tugged him through the stands, trying not to impede the view of the other viewers.
"You might as well not duck down; no one is paying attention," Sirius commented as they entered the empty concessions stand. Harry stopped and threw Sirius a smile.
"Yeah, I noticed. What d'you think the amount of people snogging in the stands is?"
"Three quarters, at least." He said blandly as Harry tugged him over to the bins of treats that put Sirius in mind of a mini-Honeydukes. Sirius fed them a few Galleons and started grabbing random sweets.
"That few, eh? Cannons must be doing well, then." Harry said with a smirk. "I've known the entire stadium to be in some kind of encounter. It's very slightly a mass orgy."
"Which makes me worry about all the matches you and Ron go to. Does Hermione know about this?" Sirius said, sternly dishing out Nectar Newts. "Speaking of which, why didn't you bring one of your boy toys to the match? I hear that young Malfoy broke it off with Parkinson again."
"For the last time, I wasn't dating Draco. Just because we were caught-"
"Fucking on the school lawn?" Sirius teased quietly.
"Well, yes. And I can't believe you're telling me about him. You were angry at me for a month!" Harry said, with a clear Look before turning away to dig around for more toffee.
Sirius assumed a higher-than-thou expression. "I was disappointed that you got caught!"
"Right, Sirius..." Harry smiled disbelievingly. "Anyway, what makes you think I didn't bring a boy toy?" He handed Sirius the bag of toffee and kissed him in one swift movement.
Sirius promptly dropped the candy, making Harry pull back.
"Wasteful..." Harry chastised, kicking aside a few bars of chocolate and twining his arms around Sirius' neck. This time, Sirius kissed him first, hard and fast with a soft reminder of the stolen candy on his tongue. Harry pushed Sirius back suddenly, so his knees buckled and he sat on the candy barrel. He stopped kissing him (something Sirius immediately missed) and traversed further down...
"So how was the match?" Ron asked the next day, with only a few remaining bruises. His blush hadn't yet faded from the ribbing he had endured from his brothers, who were currently tormenting Remus.
Sirius and Harry looked at each other.
"Mind blowing?" Harry suggested.