Author's Note: I hope you all aren't sick of me yet, since I'm still barely
through the first disk. The action of the story will start to pick up
here, so it'll be a little more exciting. Another warning: I originally
started writing this story with a lot of malice and anger within me. This
story's real purpose is to let off anger that I hold towards some of my
friends at the time. So if my writing seems bitter and cynical, you know
why.
Disclaimer: I don't own LoD or Sony or any of that shit.
Chapter 2: The Confusion Continues in Hellena
(As soon as Wesley left Seles, the player now gets a sneak preview of Hellena. Isn't it pretty? Inside, the wardens escorted their new prisoner to her cell)
Warden: Be good in there.
Ania: But I'm not good!! I'm bad...how punk do I hafta dress to get that message across to ya? Oh I forgot, I'M STUCK IN A GAY VIDEO GAME!!!
Warden: Whatever. Just be quiet, okay? *Whispers* Damn what an annoying voice.
Ania: Hmph! I heard that!!
(The warden slammed the door behind him and locked it shut. Ania threw herself on the tiny bed and pouted)
~ ~ ~
(We now see a rather skinny man pacing up and down a rope bridge deep within Hellena. The Hooded Man stood at one end of the bridge, watching the Head Warden)
Warden: Sir Swaim, the girl has been placed in her cell. *exits*
Swaim: Good. *Turns to the Hooded Man* What is she here for anyways?
[The Head Warden, originally played by Fruegal, is now Swaim. Swaim is a good friend of mine but a little insensitive. He used to be fat in elementary school and I don't have the heart to make him big again. Think Fruegal on Weight Watchers]
Hooded Man: God why don't you people get it?! It's none of your business! {Besides, I'm not quite sure of it either....}
Swaim: I don't take orders from you anyways! I only take orders from Emperor Joel!
Hooded Man: In that case....if you lay a finger on that girl *draws a long sword from within his cape* I will have your head. This is a message from Emperor Joel.
Swaim: *steps back away from the sword* Alright! Geez, just cuz I'm black....
[No your not, whiteboy]
Hooded Man: Umm....no comment....*pulls back his sword, turns and leaves*
~ ~ ~
(Wesley fought insignificant animals in the forest and found the prison, which he couldn't miss since all the cities and locations you hafta go in the game stick out like a sore thumb on the world map. Anyways, he approached the gates and hid behind a merchant's wagon and listened for a good cue to sneak in)
Warden: *inspecting the load* Good meat, good fish. You can pass.
Merchant:*New York accent* You guys got alotta stuff comin' in now'days. You got some big shin-dig goin' on, eh?
[I don't know why, I just thought it be cool to give that merchant a New York accent]
Warden: *threatens him with his weapon* It's not any concern for a merchant like you!
Merchant: Whoa, whoa, whoa! *Pushes the lance away* Watch where you's pointin' that thing, eh? I don't want no trouble, I'ms just curious. 'Suze me for trying to get to know a thing or two bout m'customerz. I'll just be hopin' back in m'wagon...
(The merchant climbed into the driver's seat of the wagon and cracked the reins of the large beast that pulled it. Wesley hopped in with the meat and fish [which fish are meat, so I don't know why people hafta make a difference between the two] and the merchant rode in through the gates of Hellena)
(Wesley jumped out of the wagon when it came to a complete stop [thank you for riding Merchant Wagons. Please enjoy the rest of your stay here at Hellena and please be sure to visit the gift shop adjacent to this ride *repeats the same thing in Spanish, Japanese, and Arabic*]. Hey, I live in California and my uncle works at Disneyland, okay? I practically grew up there)
Wesley: Can we PLEASE get on with it now? I have to be calling my girlfriend soon...
[You know what, no one asked you Mr. I-cheated-on-my-girlfriend]
Wesley: I never cheated on Stephanie...
[Yes you did, dumbass, WITH ME!!]
Wesley: Oh yeah, I forgot. *pause* You're not used to being dumped, are you?
[You didn't dump me!!]
(I think that's enough of that. Anyways, Wesley jumped out of the wagon and began to search for Ania -- but the search was quickly interrupted.)
Merchant: Hey! Who are you?!
Wesley: I'm...uh...
Merchant: Guards!! Guards!!
Wesley: No!! No, don't call the guards on me!!
(But Wesley's attempts were in vain. The merchant's cries brought two wardens, which Wesley quickly defeated. The merchant cowered in fear at the feet of Wesley, which made his ego inflate just a bit)
Merchant: Oh god, pleaze don't hurt me!! I -- I really didn't mean to call thoze guards on ya, just pleaze don't kill me!!
(Wesley smiled and raised his sword...)
Merchant: Oh god!!
(...and placed it back in its sheath.)
Wesley: Shut up. I won't kill you. I just need some information about a prisoner here....
Merchant: Hey I don't know nothin' bout any of the prisoners here. They don't tell me nothin', okay? Now I'll just be standin' over here, mindin' m'own business and yous can go lookin' for whoever needs lookin' for.
(Wesley starred with a raised eyebrow at the merchant while he walked over to a table just ahead of him.)
Merchant: O yeah...if yous need any goods or what not, you can just come over ta me! I'll give ya a good deal, eh?
(Wesley bought a few items and quickly ran out into the corridor. The search is on!!)
~ ~ ~
(Wesley ran around Hellena, searching for Ania while wardens blew whistles and randomly yelled "Who is it?!" and "Bastard!" at him. Wesley searched through open cells and found Gold and items [but if the cells were open, couldn't the prisoners just escape? Oh well] but he still couldn't find Ania. He then ran into one corridor and heard....)
Warden: Move quicker!
(Wesley peaked his head in and saw a warden pushing two POWs [prisoners of war] with his spear.)
Warden: *laughing* Hahaha....I'll make you wish you died on the battlefield!
POW: We'll see about that! *Tries to tackle the warden*
Warden: *pushes him back* ooo....feisty feisty! The worst kind of POW but the best kind of feed.
???: I won't let you!!
(A gallant knight, dressed in the green armor of Basil, emerges from the shadows and spears two wardens [who came from no where] with his harpoon.)
Warden: Bastard! How'd you break out?!
(The knight didn't answer him -- he just stabbed him)
Melvin: *to the POWs, reading from his hand* Go to Indeeys Castle and tell King Booberto...hehe, it says boob...huh? Oh oops...Boberto and give him this...message..?
[Alright, maybe he isn't so gallant]
POWs: Yes sir!
Melvin: Wait! I didn't even tell you the message!!
POWs: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!! *Are pushed off the bridge and fall to their doom*
Melvin: Guess I don't need to. *Runs to the warden who pushed the POWs to their doom and stabbed them*
(Wesley got swept up in the action and ran out to kill a few wardens himself. Once all of the wardens were dead, Melvin turned on Wesley.)
Wesley: *blocking Melvin's weapon* I'm not your enemy!
Melvin: *withdrawing his lance* You're not?
Wesley: No! Do I look like any of those ugly-ass wardens? *laughs*
(Three wardens run out into the corridor and corner the two guys)
Ugly-Ass Wardens: We heard that.
Wesley: Crap.
Melvin: *to Wesley* Well I guess we don't have time for introductions!
Wesley: No we don't.
(And the screen dissolves and the battle commenses. I'm only narrating this battle cuz I like doing this...)
Melvin: HARPOON!!
(Alright I'm done now. Anyways, Wesley and Melvin defeat the three ugly- ass wardens -- )
(Ugly-Ass Wardens: Bitch)
(Geez! Would the video game characters PLEASE stop calling the narrator a bitch!!)
(Ugly-Ass Wardens: It's a lame attempt at humor. You ARE the author/narrator, you should know this)
(Wesley: No, no this really IS funny!! Who's dumb now?!)
(Remind me to slap you when I meet you up in Hoax)
(Wesley:....?)
(Don't think. Let's continue -- yes, our heroes defeat the ugly-ass wardens and now they are talking. I really didn't need to narrate that.)
Melvin: Alright, so what are you doing here anywayz? I mean, you didn't come here by choice, didcha?
Wesley: I'm not in the game by choice, but I am in the prison by choice -- hey, why are you in the game anywayz? You weren't at the house.
Melvin: I dunno how I got here -- I just saw a flash of white light and I ended up in a tavern. This weird-lookin' guy -- kinda dressed like you -- wrote these instructions down on my hand and set me to this prison. See?
(Melvin showed Wesley his hand, which had the message that he tried to tell the POWs written on it. Sweat and other things had smeared the writing [not that you sickos...or maybe it is....]
Wesley: Amazing. So who are you again?
Melvin: Well, in real life I'm Melvin, but now I'm Sir Melvin! Head of the First Knighthood of Basil! [Just to clarify, he goes to the same school as me, Ania, Boberto, Timoty, and Leroy]
Wesley: Proud of yourself, aren't ya?
Melvin: Yes I am. Who are you now?
Wesley: I'm Wesley -- in real life and in here.
Melvin: You still didn't answer my question -- why are you in prison?
Wesley: I broke in to rescue Ania. Do you where she is?
Melvin: Even if I did, I wouldn't let her out! She's mean to me!
Wesley: Well, we hafta rescue her or else we can't finish the game and we'll be stuck in here forever.
Melvin: Well when you put it that way...aite, let's go.
(So Wesley made a new friend and now our party has a grand total of two. The two evaded more wardens shouting "Who is it?" and "Bastard!" until finally they came to a big room, full of wardens. The wardens were standing around, chatting and totally ignoring Wesley and Melvin [their break room?]
Wesley: The security is tight
Melvin: Thank you, Mr. Obvious. *Notices a glimmer of metal* Hey, what's that?
Wesley: *picking up the key* You think this is the key to Ania's cell?
Melvin: I dunno, but if it is, you'd think it would be guarded better.
Wesley:*shrug* Let's take it anywayz.
*Aquired Key to Ania's Cell*
Melvin: Maybe it is.
(So they ran out of the tightly guarded room and ran across the bridge and used the key to open a locked door. When Wesley and Melvin entered the room, they assumed the cell with the most guards was the one that held Ania. However, they noticed the wardens sitting in a circle on the ground, playing cards.)
Wesley:*aside to Melvin* Why are all these damn characters playing cards? Don't they have anything better to do?
Melvin: *aside to Wesley* Guess not
Ania: *from inside the cell* Hey you lazy-ass bastards!! I'm thirsty and I want something to drink!!
Warden A: *rubbing his head* I could use a drink right now
Warden B: Maybe if you didn't yell at us so much, you wouldn't be thirsty!!
Ania: I'm not yelling! I'm asking firmly for a drink!!
Warden C: Lady, this is a prison, not a hotel!! We're the wardens, not the bellboys!! You're the prisoner, not the guest!! You're --
Warden A: Dude, we get the idea.
Ania: I don't care, GET ME A DAMN DRINK!!
Wesley: {Okay that's enough}*jumps in front of the guards* We're here to...defeat you and rescue the girl.
Warden C: Dude you guys can have her!
Wesley and Melvin:*confused*
Warden B: She's been bitchin' and ordering us around ever since she got here! Plus, we'd like to live, so y'all can rescue her. C'mon guys, let's go finish our game in the break room. *The three pick up their stuff and leave.*
Melvin: What just happened?
Wesley: I dunno, but I'm goin' in. Stay out here and watch for anymore guards, okay?
Melvin: 'Kay.
(Wesley opened the cell door with the same key [how convient] and entered the dark cell and saw Ania standing in the middle, wearing a short white dress and small brown boots. The happy renunion!)
Ania: *hug* Wesley!! *Punches him in the shoulder* Bout damn time you came and rescued me!!
Wesley: That's no way to talk to your liberator
Ania: Ooo....big word...
(Suddenly, twinkly music begins to play)
Ania and Wesley: WTF?
Melvin: *sticks head inside cell* Am I going crazy, or do I hear twinkly music?
Wesley: Not unless we're all going crazy.
Mysterious Male Voice Over Intercom: Excuse me, but the twinkly music is playing because Ania and Wesley are supposed to be in love.
Ania and Wesley: Eeeewwwww.....
Ania: I refuse to be in love with Tina's leftovers!!
Mysterious Female Voice Over Intercom: Dart! Don't help them!! *Smack*
M.M.V.O.I.: Sorry. Carry on *click*
Melvin: Where the hell did they get that thing?
Wesley: *pause* Hey!! I'm not leftovers!!
Ania: Took you long enough. But hey! You're supposed to be rescuing me!
Wesley: Right. Umm...let's go.
(So Ania and Wesley left the cell and met back up with Melvin. Ania retrieved her bow and arrows and the trio bolted out. I know you have another fight with some more wardens, but that fight is insignifcant. Plus I still got a whole lotta more stuff to narrate so let's move on.)
~ ~ ~
(Meanwhile, halfway on their way to the break room, the three wardens who guarded Ania's cell realized that Swaim was not gunna like that they deliberately let the girl go. They formulated a plan and sent Warden C to go deliver the news to Swaim.)
Warden C: Why the hell do I hafta do it?
Warden A: Because you're the newest and the one with the lowest salary.
Warden B: Sucks to be you.
(Wardens A and B pushed Warden C into Swaim's office to deliver the bad news)
Warden C: *deep breath* SirthegirlfromSelesandtheknightfromBasilescaped
Swaim: What?
Warden C: Well, the knight from Basil broke out of his cell this morning --
Swaim: Not that, the other part!
Warden C: Oh, um..the girl from Seles was taken away by the knight and a guy dressed in armor. I assure you, the guards did their best to keep her locked up -- they did not hand her over without a fight*cough* And I'm telling you this as a messager, not *cough* as one of those guards*cough* {please don't fire me...}
Wardens A and B: *smack foreheads* Dumbass
Swaim: Arrgghhh!!!*throws Warden C to his doom*
Warden C: Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh*fades away*
Swaim: I might as well paint the whole place with red with their blood!!*exits*
(*Gasp* Can our heroes stand up to the nasty Swaim?! Find out on our next episode!! Same time, same place)
Disclaimer: I don't own LoD or Sony or any of that shit.
Chapter 2: The Confusion Continues in Hellena
(As soon as Wesley left Seles, the player now gets a sneak preview of Hellena. Isn't it pretty? Inside, the wardens escorted their new prisoner to her cell)
Warden: Be good in there.
Ania: But I'm not good!! I'm bad...how punk do I hafta dress to get that message across to ya? Oh I forgot, I'M STUCK IN A GAY VIDEO GAME!!!
Warden: Whatever. Just be quiet, okay? *Whispers* Damn what an annoying voice.
Ania: Hmph! I heard that!!
(The warden slammed the door behind him and locked it shut. Ania threw herself on the tiny bed and pouted)
~ ~ ~
(We now see a rather skinny man pacing up and down a rope bridge deep within Hellena. The Hooded Man stood at one end of the bridge, watching the Head Warden)
Warden: Sir Swaim, the girl has been placed in her cell. *exits*
Swaim: Good. *Turns to the Hooded Man* What is she here for anyways?
[The Head Warden, originally played by Fruegal, is now Swaim. Swaim is a good friend of mine but a little insensitive. He used to be fat in elementary school and I don't have the heart to make him big again. Think Fruegal on Weight Watchers]
Hooded Man: God why don't you people get it?! It's none of your business! {Besides, I'm not quite sure of it either....}
Swaim: I don't take orders from you anyways! I only take orders from Emperor Joel!
Hooded Man: In that case....if you lay a finger on that girl *draws a long sword from within his cape* I will have your head. This is a message from Emperor Joel.
Swaim: *steps back away from the sword* Alright! Geez, just cuz I'm black....
[No your not, whiteboy]
Hooded Man: Umm....no comment....*pulls back his sword, turns and leaves*
~ ~ ~
(Wesley fought insignificant animals in the forest and found the prison, which he couldn't miss since all the cities and locations you hafta go in the game stick out like a sore thumb on the world map. Anyways, he approached the gates and hid behind a merchant's wagon and listened for a good cue to sneak in)
Warden: *inspecting the load* Good meat, good fish. You can pass.
Merchant:*New York accent* You guys got alotta stuff comin' in now'days. You got some big shin-dig goin' on, eh?
[I don't know why, I just thought it be cool to give that merchant a New York accent]
Warden: *threatens him with his weapon* It's not any concern for a merchant like you!
Merchant: Whoa, whoa, whoa! *Pushes the lance away* Watch where you's pointin' that thing, eh? I don't want no trouble, I'ms just curious. 'Suze me for trying to get to know a thing or two bout m'customerz. I'll just be hopin' back in m'wagon...
(The merchant climbed into the driver's seat of the wagon and cracked the reins of the large beast that pulled it. Wesley hopped in with the meat and fish [which fish are meat, so I don't know why people hafta make a difference between the two] and the merchant rode in through the gates of Hellena)
(Wesley jumped out of the wagon when it came to a complete stop [thank you for riding Merchant Wagons. Please enjoy the rest of your stay here at Hellena and please be sure to visit the gift shop adjacent to this ride *repeats the same thing in Spanish, Japanese, and Arabic*]. Hey, I live in California and my uncle works at Disneyland, okay? I practically grew up there)
Wesley: Can we PLEASE get on with it now? I have to be calling my girlfriend soon...
[You know what, no one asked you Mr. I-cheated-on-my-girlfriend]
Wesley: I never cheated on Stephanie...
[Yes you did, dumbass, WITH ME!!]
Wesley: Oh yeah, I forgot. *pause* You're not used to being dumped, are you?
[You didn't dump me!!]
(I think that's enough of that. Anyways, Wesley jumped out of the wagon and began to search for Ania -- but the search was quickly interrupted.)
Merchant: Hey! Who are you?!
Wesley: I'm...uh...
Merchant: Guards!! Guards!!
Wesley: No!! No, don't call the guards on me!!
(But Wesley's attempts were in vain. The merchant's cries brought two wardens, which Wesley quickly defeated. The merchant cowered in fear at the feet of Wesley, which made his ego inflate just a bit)
Merchant: Oh god, pleaze don't hurt me!! I -- I really didn't mean to call thoze guards on ya, just pleaze don't kill me!!
(Wesley smiled and raised his sword...)
Merchant: Oh god!!
(...and placed it back in its sheath.)
Wesley: Shut up. I won't kill you. I just need some information about a prisoner here....
Merchant: Hey I don't know nothin' bout any of the prisoners here. They don't tell me nothin', okay? Now I'll just be standin' over here, mindin' m'own business and yous can go lookin' for whoever needs lookin' for.
(Wesley starred with a raised eyebrow at the merchant while he walked over to a table just ahead of him.)
Merchant: O yeah...if yous need any goods or what not, you can just come over ta me! I'll give ya a good deal, eh?
(Wesley bought a few items and quickly ran out into the corridor. The search is on!!)
~ ~ ~
(Wesley ran around Hellena, searching for Ania while wardens blew whistles and randomly yelled "Who is it?!" and "Bastard!" at him. Wesley searched through open cells and found Gold and items [but if the cells were open, couldn't the prisoners just escape? Oh well] but he still couldn't find Ania. He then ran into one corridor and heard....)
Warden: Move quicker!
(Wesley peaked his head in and saw a warden pushing two POWs [prisoners of war] with his spear.)
Warden: *laughing* Hahaha....I'll make you wish you died on the battlefield!
POW: We'll see about that! *Tries to tackle the warden*
Warden: *pushes him back* ooo....feisty feisty! The worst kind of POW but the best kind of feed.
???: I won't let you!!
(A gallant knight, dressed in the green armor of Basil, emerges from the shadows and spears two wardens [who came from no where] with his harpoon.)
Warden: Bastard! How'd you break out?!
(The knight didn't answer him -- he just stabbed him)
Melvin: *to the POWs, reading from his hand* Go to Indeeys Castle and tell King Booberto...hehe, it says boob...huh? Oh oops...Boberto and give him this...message..?
[Alright, maybe he isn't so gallant]
POWs: Yes sir!
Melvin: Wait! I didn't even tell you the message!!
POWs: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!! *Are pushed off the bridge and fall to their doom*
Melvin: Guess I don't need to. *Runs to the warden who pushed the POWs to their doom and stabbed them*
(Wesley got swept up in the action and ran out to kill a few wardens himself. Once all of the wardens were dead, Melvin turned on Wesley.)
Wesley: *blocking Melvin's weapon* I'm not your enemy!
Melvin: *withdrawing his lance* You're not?
Wesley: No! Do I look like any of those ugly-ass wardens? *laughs*
(Three wardens run out into the corridor and corner the two guys)
Ugly-Ass Wardens: We heard that.
Wesley: Crap.
Melvin: *to Wesley* Well I guess we don't have time for introductions!
Wesley: No we don't.
(And the screen dissolves and the battle commenses. I'm only narrating this battle cuz I like doing this...)
Melvin: HARPOON!!
(Alright I'm done now. Anyways, Wesley and Melvin defeat the three ugly- ass wardens -- )
(Ugly-Ass Wardens: Bitch)
(Geez! Would the video game characters PLEASE stop calling the narrator a bitch!!)
(Ugly-Ass Wardens: It's a lame attempt at humor. You ARE the author/narrator, you should know this)
(Wesley: No, no this really IS funny!! Who's dumb now?!)
(Remind me to slap you when I meet you up in Hoax)
(Wesley:....?)
(Don't think. Let's continue -- yes, our heroes defeat the ugly-ass wardens and now they are talking. I really didn't need to narrate that.)
Melvin: Alright, so what are you doing here anywayz? I mean, you didn't come here by choice, didcha?
Wesley: I'm not in the game by choice, but I am in the prison by choice -- hey, why are you in the game anywayz? You weren't at the house.
Melvin: I dunno how I got here -- I just saw a flash of white light and I ended up in a tavern. This weird-lookin' guy -- kinda dressed like you -- wrote these instructions down on my hand and set me to this prison. See?
(Melvin showed Wesley his hand, which had the message that he tried to tell the POWs written on it. Sweat and other things had smeared the writing [not that you sickos...or maybe it is....]
Wesley: Amazing. So who are you again?
Melvin: Well, in real life I'm Melvin, but now I'm Sir Melvin! Head of the First Knighthood of Basil! [Just to clarify, he goes to the same school as me, Ania, Boberto, Timoty, and Leroy]
Wesley: Proud of yourself, aren't ya?
Melvin: Yes I am. Who are you now?
Wesley: I'm Wesley -- in real life and in here.
Melvin: You still didn't answer my question -- why are you in prison?
Wesley: I broke in to rescue Ania. Do you where she is?
Melvin: Even if I did, I wouldn't let her out! She's mean to me!
Wesley: Well, we hafta rescue her or else we can't finish the game and we'll be stuck in here forever.
Melvin: Well when you put it that way...aite, let's go.
(So Wesley made a new friend and now our party has a grand total of two. The two evaded more wardens shouting "Who is it?" and "Bastard!" until finally they came to a big room, full of wardens. The wardens were standing around, chatting and totally ignoring Wesley and Melvin [their break room?]
Wesley: The security is tight
Melvin: Thank you, Mr. Obvious. *Notices a glimmer of metal* Hey, what's that?
Wesley: *picking up the key* You think this is the key to Ania's cell?
Melvin: I dunno, but if it is, you'd think it would be guarded better.
Wesley:*shrug* Let's take it anywayz.
*Aquired Key to Ania's Cell*
Melvin: Maybe it is.
(So they ran out of the tightly guarded room and ran across the bridge and used the key to open a locked door. When Wesley and Melvin entered the room, they assumed the cell with the most guards was the one that held Ania. However, they noticed the wardens sitting in a circle on the ground, playing cards.)
Wesley:*aside to Melvin* Why are all these damn characters playing cards? Don't they have anything better to do?
Melvin: *aside to Wesley* Guess not
Ania: *from inside the cell* Hey you lazy-ass bastards!! I'm thirsty and I want something to drink!!
Warden A: *rubbing his head* I could use a drink right now
Warden B: Maybe if you didn't yell at us so much, you wouldn't be thirsty!!
Ania: I'm not yelling! I'm asking firmly for a drink!!
Warden C: Lady, this is a prison, not a hotel!! We're the wardens, not the bellboys!! You're the prisoner, not the guest!! You're --
Warden A: Dude, we get the idea.
Ania: I don't care, GET ME A DAMN DRINK!!
Wesley: {Okay that's enough}*jumps in front of the guards* We're here to...defeat you and rescue the girl.
Warden C: Dude you guys can have her!
Wesley and Melvin:*confused*
Warden B: She's been bitchin' and ordering us around ever since she got here! Plus, we'd like to live, so y'all can rescue her. C'mon guys, let's go finish our game in the break room. *The three pick up their stuff and leave.*
Melvin: What just happened?
Wesley: I dunno, but I'm goin' in. Stay out here and watch for anymore guards, okay?
Melvin: 'Kay.
(Wesley opened the cell door with the same key [how convient] and entered the dark cell and saw Ania standing in the middle, wearing a short white dress and small brown boots. The happy renunion!)
Ania: *hug* Wesley!! *Punches him in the shoulder* Bout damn time you came and rescued me!!
Wesley: That's no way to talk to your liberator
Ania: Ooo....big word...
(Suddenly, twinkly music begins to play)
Ania and Wesley: WTF?
Melvin: *sticks head inside cell* Am I going crazy, or do I hear twinkly music?
Wesley: Not unless we're all going crazy.
Mysterious Male Voice Over Intercom: Excuse me, but the twinkly music is playing because Ania and Wesley are supposed to be in love.
Ania and Wesley: Eeeewwwww.....
Ania: I refuse to be in love with Tina's leftovers!!
Mysterious Female Voice Over Intercom: Dart! Don't help them!! *Smack*
M.M.V.O.I.: Sorry. Carry on *click*
Melvin: Where the hell did they get that thing?
Wesley: *pause* Hey!! I'm not leftovers!!
Ania: Took you long enough. But hey! You're supposed to be rescuing me!
Wesley: Right. Umm...let's go.
(So Ania and Wesley left the cell and met back up with Melvin. Ania retrieved her bow and arrows and the trio bolted out. I know you have another fight with some more wardens, but that fight is insignifcant. Plus I still got a whole lotta more stuff to narrate so let's move on.)
~ ~ ~
(Meanwhile, halfway on their way to the break room, the three wardens who guarded Ania's cell realized that Swaim was not gunna like that they deliberately let the girl go. They formulated a plan and sent Warden C to go deliver the news to Swaim.)
Warden C: Why the hell do I hafta do it?
Warden A: Because you're the newest and the one with the lowest salary.
Warden B: Sucks to be you.
(Wardens A and B pushed Warden C into Swaim's office to deliver the bad news)
Warden C: *deep breath* SirthegirlfromSelesandtheknightfromBasilescaped
Swaim: What?
Warden C: Well, the knight from Basil broke out of his cell this morning --
Swaim: Not that, the other part!
Warden C: Oh, um..the girl from Seles was taken away by the knight and a guy dressed in armor. I assure you, the guards did their best to keep her locked up -- they did not hand her over without a fight*cough* And I'm telling you this as a messager, not *cough* as one of those guards*cough* {please don't fire me...}
Wardens A and B: *smack foreheads* Dumbass
Swaim: Arrgghhh!!!*throws Warden C to his doom*
Warden C: Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh*fades away*
Swaim: I might as well paint the whole place with red with their blood!!*exits*
(*Gasp* Can our heroes stand up to the nasty Swaim?! Find out on our next episode!! Same time, same place)